- I’m noticing a kind of synchronicity to how this is all working. I hit what I think is the completion of Stage 2’s work just as I am finished with my planned twelve week run of it. Its the completion of the deep inner repair phases, and it comes at the time of the year when things turn to high energy building. It also comes at the time when I need to really push to get things turned in our favor.
I don’t think I’m expressing this really well, but tonight I’m getting the sense that I’m a lot more in sync with things where I was fighting against the flow before. Something has seriously changed in the last day or so. And it finished very suddenly tonight.
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Love this custom idea. Ever considered adding Sultan to it?
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I considered it, but this is focused on getting us out of the trouble we’re in. Sultan seems like it’s got some other focuses.
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- I woke up feeling very tired and low energy today. It might be that I’ve played two loops of DE the past two nights. It seems that one is my sweet spot for Qv2, although perhaps I could play two on a couple of non consecutive nights and get a bit more efficiency out of it.
I’m going to do two again tonight and tomorrow night though. They are my last active listening nights for Stage two and I want the job as finished as it can be. I have all next week to work through the processing backlog.
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- The one major behavioral change that really stands out on Stage two is that I have developed an enormous amount (for me so far) of self discipline. Completing a series of weekly tasks six or seven weekends in a row without someone hanging over my shoulder was unheard of for me up until well…the last six or seven weeks. So would working out four scheduled days a week for three weeks. Now, I’m skipping tonight because of a errr, digestive problem that would make it a bad idea, but still.
Lack of self discipline has been one of the two major things that has prevented me from being much more successful in life. I did poorly in school because I just didn’t make myself do homework every day. I never advanced in my career partly because I didn’t regularly do the things that would improve my prospects. I lived in a mess because I didn’t take the time every day or week to do the simplest of cleaning tasks. My financial life became a shambles initially because I didn’t keep track of things like when payments were due or how much money I actually have. I indulged in all kinds of lazy and pleasure seeking habits that got in the way of what I wanted to achieve. Smoking, eating too much crap food, PMO. Thank the Gawds that becoming a drunk or drug addict never appealed to me, or I would probably still be one.
There are so many things that I wanted to do or become and that I was very capable of doing or becoming that I didn’t simply because I lacked discipline.
It felt to me like I just lacked the strength of will you make myself do the things I needed to to get where I wanted to go, or refrain from doing the things that got in the way. I genuinely felt powerless to push myself to do these things even though most of them were pretty easy in fact, and I’m more than capable of doing all of them.
I thought I was a weak person which did not help with my self esteem and contributed to the vicious cycle.
I wasn’t weak at all.
I know what was going on now. Discipline = Success, and feeling successful pulled my subconscious off of it’s balance point. It did all kinds of things to pull itself back on.
I never realized just how powerful that thing is till now.
Now I have discipline. Or at least the beginning of it, and it’s growing. I think that a lot of what I’m experiencing comes directly from Emperor, but it wouldn’t be showing up like this if DR hadn’t removed the crap that was blocking it.
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I’m feeling awesome today. Super optimistic and seeing my near term goals getting achieved in my mind. Theres some pretty euphoric emotions and genuine belief that it’s happening to go with it.
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I am currently listening to my last set of loops of Stage two. I am very impressed with both DR and Qv2.
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- I actually feel done with Stage 2. It happened with that last set of insights a couple of days ago. There are probably more specific insights, but I don’t feel that I need to dig anymore.
I think that the emotional addiction problem had already been pretty much solved by the time I became aware of it enough to put it into words, and that it was the root problem that was causing all of the others. Complex digging into my past and untangling the roots is not necessary anymore now that I’ve gotten to this place.
I’m sure that now stage three and everything I run after can work a lot more efficiently after this.
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- Last loop of Stage 2 completed. That was amazing. Next week is washout week, though I might do an experimental loop or two of Stage 3 toward the end of the week. For experimentation you understand, not because I’m an impatient cuss.
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Your highs seem to be higher, and your lows less low… much less low.
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And I haven’t even started stage 3 yet.
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The positive thoughts and feelings stayed strong throughout yesterday. It’s a weird effect. I’ve just decided that this is the turning point in this year, and the things I need to have happen to get me to my goals for the year are happening starting now. I KNOW that this is the case. I got my usual tasks for the weekend done, and then another outdoor job that needed done.
The boost in productivity here is simply amazing. I’m not sure if it’s Emperor or if DR has pulled me out of the last of my depression, or what, but I’m getting things done like none other. -
I have definitely decided to go with that custom Ultima I discussed earlier, and get a pair of Sennhieser (spelling, I know) 280 pro headphones to optimize my Ultima results from here on. I’ll do that as soon as I get the money from that asset I liquidated. Should be Tuesday since Monday is a holiday. I jus got paid so I might order the sub today. I’d like to start it next Sunday when washout week ends.
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- I had a really good day today. I was super productive this morning. I followed my usual weekend pattern of getting a large number of weekly tasks done and also doing something bigger that has needed to be done for a while. I also got the problem getting our lawn mowed solved. Then we went to a store we love going to and had dinner. We had a good time.
- I actually managed to talk my wife out of overtaxing herself by going on a multi store shopping trip which usually leaves her in pain and useless for several days after. I convinced her not to go, and to use curbside pickup any time she has to do more than one store.
It was odd. She begged me not to make her do that all the time because she didn’t want to feel incapable. That was significant. She sees me as an authority figure who CAN “dictate” to her. Odd.
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- Dream: The wife and I had been somewhere and she was driving us back. She chose a route down a winding dirt road with a sheer cliff on one side of it. We had done this before I remembered in the dream and to my perception she nearly got us killed each time. Wether that was true or not, it scared the hell out of me when she did this, I didn’t think she could handle it and wasn’t going to let her do it again. I remembered the stretch of road well. I suspect that I’ve dreamed of it before.
I yelled at her to stop and (amazingly) she did. The tires were about three inches from the edge of the cliff. I got a good look as I got out to get into the driver’s seat. It was a loooonnng way down.
When I got over there, I told her that I’d be driving. She answered that she’d been taking me to a little barbecue restaurant in a trailer along the way, so she couldn’t let me drive. Turned out that it was pretty much right on the other side of the road. I walked.
When we got there there were all kinds of people partying including some very good looking topless women.
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**Stage 2 Cycle 2 Week 6**
**Washout Week #4**
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Something else happened this weekend and it was significant.
I was driving through the area where I worked when I finally got the job I wanted but failed the on the job training due to a poor sense of direction. I was very good at every part of the job except for finding my way where I needed to go in a timely manner. The problem was that I really didn’t have a sense of direction or my location in the bigger picture. (GPS during training you say? You’re funny).
I took a different route home than the one we’d taken to where we were going. It lead through a maze of housing developments that had really gotten me confused many times while I worked there.
This time, I had a sense of where I was, what direction I was going, and where I was trying to get. I got there flawlessly. That was a major victory for me over something that had handed me a major defeat in the past. It felt really great, and showed me that I really am making forward progress, matter of fact, I’ve made a lot of it since then. -
I have ordered my RICH ultima custom. The final module list is:
- RICH Ultima Core
- Debt Annihilator
- Wealth Limit Destroyer
- Financial Success Reality Shifter
- Wayfinder
- Fortune’s Favorite
This is lean mean and very focused on exactly what I’m going to need in order to accomplish my one real external world mission for this year. That is to get my family to a place of financial stability. This sucker will really dig in with all of the progress that I’ve made with DR clearing mental crap out of my way. I am expecting to be in that place very shortly.
I swapped Secret Source out for Fortune’s Favorite because SS seems to be more something I’d use in a longer term sub to actually get wealthy.
In order to get our financial crap straightened out, I’m going to need a bunch of things not under my direct control to go right. In other words, I’m going to need luck.
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The name for my financial ultima custom came to me while I was in the shower this morning. This is important to me because names can be really powerful things. It’s going to be called Financial Phoenix. It’s what I need to take my family from the brink of disaster back to a normal equilibrium. Along with Dragon Flight and Emperor, this is going to get us to a place of financial stability by the end of this year.
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There is real belief behind that last statement and the majority of my self talk is backing it up. I’m feeling that the battle is really won already and it’s just a matter of time until that becomes clear in the real world.
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In case you didn’t pick it up from that last post, I feel really great today. Something has really shifted in my head. I used to walk around with a constant background noise of anxiety about the future. It could be more or less prevalent at any given time, but it was always there. It was kind of like the carrier wave of my consciousness. I was always worried about something going wrong or something I’m trying to get to go right not happening. The feeling ranged from a constant dread (you know, the one I said I was addicted to) to a barely perceptible nagging feeling depending on the day and when I’m my life we’re talking about.
It’s been fading away the entire time I’ve been on DE, and at some time in the last couple of weeks it’s GONE. That felt good in and of itself. Today is different though. Not only is the negative anxiety gone, but I actually feel a positive anxiety in it’s place. There is this formless sense that great things are about to happen, an anticipation has released the dread. Much better feeling. I’ve never felt this way before. I mean, I’ve looked forward to things of course if I knew they were going to happen, but it’s never been my background noise before.
I just feel ready to get out there and kick major ass the rest of this year. -
Our TV stopped working. Yes I could live without one, but it would upset the wife and kid. Instead of thinking that it happened just as we gained some money so we can’t get ahead (in truth replacing it is a very small fraction of what I’m getting) I’m thinking, “at least that waited until we had the money to handle it to happen”. I actually feel grateful for that.
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Excellent reframe!
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Sort of. I didn’t really do it on purpose. I find that kind of trick difficult to use on myself (impossible for anyone else) because my response to a reframe is usually “oh bullshit”. Previous attempts to use such things on myself have always failed. With this, it was the first thing I thought so I didn’t have to reframe it.
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I think DE is going that for you on autopilot.
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