HeO 15m LBFH 2m20s WB 15s
I can feel my brain not being as fluid/easy to move as when I was actively using EE.
It has been almost a month since the last time I used the sub.
I’ll monitor the situation, then decide when to bring back EE to the stack.
Liberation of the “invisible self imposed obligations” that I thought were crucial for love.
That’s the theme I see LBFH help me explore.
It felt weird at first, sometimes it still does, but I’m able to catch on pretty quickly.
HeO 15m LBFH 2m40s WB 16s
It’s time to move to EE.
+15s/listening day
HeO hits something EE couldn’t, but the sheer boost & optimization from EE is just as important.
I need it more than HeO now.
Update 1:
I’m glad I didn’t choose DRR4 this cycle.
LBFH does the job just fine, building on top of the foundation that DRR has laid out.
I built the foundation for DRR using the old LBFH for around a year total.
Then I built the foundation for the new LBFH using DRR for 1y9m.
I’d have a hard time using DRR if I didn’t use LBFH first, but LBFH is building up on top of DRR.
This is a virtuous cycle of healing subs.
I’m very satisfied.
There’s still a lot to discover from LBFH, so I can’t say much for sure.
But there’s one result that sticks out.
LBFH is helping me build a stable foundation of regulation that I can fall back on whenever I need.
I can always find relaxation inside. It’s always there, ready to support me whenever life gets hectic.
The rest of the effects build on it.
There were DRRed & WB in my stack, and there are HeO & EE active, so I’m not quite sure which effect is from which sub yet. It’s not clear yet how to deduct them. Notably because LBFH is clearly building on the foundation DRRed has laid out. WB’s social scripting also helps LBFH immensely.
HeO 15m LBFH 3m40s EE 24s
This is the almost perfect productivity stack.
EE has been working well as usual.
It needs the calmness from LBFH.
LBFH is lighter than DRRed, and it has better regulation scripting with the new tech.
WB will be back next cycle, just in time for when I need to take the scheduled break from HeO.
HeO has been amazing, I was planning to switch it out early, but i decided to get WB out instead. This stack fits my current situation better.
HeO 15m LBFH 5m40s EE 2m15s
I reset them all a while ago.
Finally I reached 15m again with HeO, now it’s time to get LBFH to 15m, then EE next.
3 at once is viable so far, but I wonder how it will be when I finally reach 15m for all of them.
I’ve used each one of the subs for a considerable amount of time, and they also align well with what I do, so there’s a high chance that this will go just fine.
WB’s results have degraded, but I’ve been able to retain a lot even without it.
HeO 15m LBFH 15m EE 3m50s
I thought the effects from WB would degrade even further, but a lot of it is still strong.
I feel like this is the new normal now.
LBFH might have a big role in maintaining it.
HeO 15m LBFH 15m Exe 4m20s
I doubt I’ll use WB again anytime soon.
HeO & Exe is such a good combination, it fixes my complaints with HeO back then.
LBFH is also filling the role of WB & DRR well.
I had planned to make a custom in the near future, but I see that it’s not as necessary anymore.
LBFH fixed the balance well enough.
Ideally, I could fit all of them in one stack, which I could with customs, but 2 artisan titles + a multistager + 2 other normal ones feels like pushing it a bit too much.
If 3 can get the job done, then 3 is enough.
8 months of Exe.
I just realized that now.
Not including the 6 months of LE which has the old Exe in it.
It has been pretty good so far. I can’t see myself switching anytime soon, unless LE gets an update.
I forgot I have to use it anyway to fill a slot next cycle for a month. I need to have it be in place of HeO for the scheduled long break.
And then the next for LBFH, then Exe, etc.
I don’t want to repeat the mistake i did when i first ran HeO and stuck with it for almost a year with no long break in between.
I could run UWX or Mogul instead, but I see no need to jump out of my sub rotation yet. It will add unnecessary load.
Exe is better with longer loops for me.
Trying to use lower exposure like I did with WB & DRR3 was unnecessary after all. My sweet spot is just high with it.
Hey William, how come it was a mistake?
Curious about your experience
It’s from my observation over my own experience, my friends’, and forum’s.
A long break gives more clarity & a chance for the sub to bloom, which helps with results.
Personally, i think of not doing it as a mistake, but I won’t say the same for others since i don’t have enough data on that yet.
Exe 5m50s HeO 15m
I understood how to approach my feelings from DRR.
Now I get the regulation from LBFH too.
I’m being confronted with more of the internal problems that I’ve been subconsciously avoiding, not being aware of the depth of the roots of them.
Back then I duct taped them just enough so that I could still move forward even with the wound still existing in the background.
Now I’m able to not only face them straight, but also to rip off the duct tapes so I can confront them properly.
Confront them so I can just observe. Gain & apply the insights to them.
I’m finally at the point where this is more than just possible, it’s as if this is the most natural thing to do.
Going from DRRed to LBFH was a great decision.
It picked up right from where DRRed has built.
I wonder how I will be when I’m finally done with LBFH again.
I plan to use DRLD in place of LBFH/DRRed as a booster, but that will be in the distant future.
Combining it with Exe & HeO would be the best productivity stack.
Exe 4m40s LBFH 15m
I recounted how long I’ve been using HeO using a more accurate method.
Exactly 450 days.
Excluding the washouts where I swapped it to another sub in the next cycle.
So that is around 1 year 3 months.
Add to that the 4 months I’ve been using it again now, so 1 year 7 months.
I thought I’d used it just as long as I did DRRed, but it’s actually 2 months short of the 1y9m I had with it.
I’m free right now, so maybe I’ll do one for LBFH too.
Update 1:
I got a pretty number again.
I remember it being just around 1 year, but I don’t count the washouts where I swapped LBFH to a different sub the next cycle this time, so that’s why it’s half a month short.
That + the 2 months I’ve been using LBFH again now.
So around 1 year 1.5 months total.
Exe 7m LBFH 15m HeO 15m
Last day of the cycle.
7 rest days then a new one.
I’m gonna take a break from HeO in the middle of the cycle. WB will take its place for consistency sake & the social scripting.
I’m increasingly able to see WB’s results blooming even after I haven’t used it for a while.
That “click” about love was what I needed after all.
I can use WB for 30s.
But as usual, I won’t go there yet.
I’ll do +2s increment from 0 again.
Many events are pointing me more towards a better understanding of compassion.
I didn’t make the connection to sub at first.
But as time goes on, the more i realized it might have been LBFH’s help.
A more regulated body is a great vessel for increased internal capacity, in which compassion & understanding towards others & oneself can grow.
As usual, I still hold full control.
It helps me realize & convince me to choose the path it offers.
It increases the likelihood that I choose that option, out of my free will, based on the understandings I have accumulated along the way.
The theme is LBFH, but the structure of how it works, and how I feel it’s filling my life, is very similar to HeO. I think they both influence each other with this one.
Update 1:
WB’s effects are not slowing down, it’s getting more and more in fact.
Is this even from WB?
It built the foundations for sure, but one of the subs i’m using must have been carrying the flame.
Funny how comically easy i can defuse aggression. This is a familiar aspect of LBFH, but i feel like it’s more sophisticated now after the upgrade.
I feel like I’m truly in a safe space because even people who are against me can’t help but to turn amicable towards me.
It’s great to have that, i won’t take it recklessly though.
Mogul 1s
Fuck i accidentally double clicked it while organizing my files.
It has been 4 rest days, I’ll add 5 rest days as a safety measure.
Update 1:
Now that I think about it, why do I still stick with 1 rest day every other day?
I did that to try out the new schedule in its normal form. I’ve used that for more than half a year.
I can start to experiment with more rest days.
Let’s start with 2 rest days after every listening day.
Update 2:
I’ll take a half month long washout instead.
Then I’ll do the next cycle like this:
Listen
Rest
Rest
Repeat
Washout
The cycle will be about 100 days long
The instruction says that taking extra rest days is good, but what if I take one every single time?
I’m seeing promising results from this prolonged washout; easier to discern the results, easier to take action, better clarity, better results, etc.
By doing this “2 rest days in between” schedule, I’ll be able to get better insight on how to get closer to the most optimal listening frequency for me.
I’m still in the belief that more rest days are better.
My experience with the new schedule has only confirmed it.
I’ll try this one first, then on the next cycle, I’ll try the “11 on 4/5 off” schedule again, like I did back then before the new instruction got out. I’ll use this configuration: 4x(11 on 4 off) + 1x(11 on 5 off).
So technically speaking, I’m still using the new instruction, but with the extra 4 rest days every 6 listening days. I’m really going back around to what I already found the most optimal for me.
This will help me compare the differences of each of these schedules, now that I’ve got sufficient data on me using the new schedule as is.
Update 3:
I’m taking a half month long washout.
So I think there’s no need to take HeO out for a long washout.
That means no WB any time soon to fill in HeO’s slot.
The more active effects of LBFH have been slowly dripping away since around day 6-7 of the washout.
This is day 10.
5 more days till the new cycle.
So I think around 7 days is the right amount of days in a washout for me.
Update 1:
I’m starting to see the stark contrast between when LBFH was active and now.
There’s no way in hell i’m not sticking with LBFH for the next year.
I’ve tasted the nectar, I want this to be my default.
This is a level of regulation that I don’t know i could get from any other source, not this quickly and consistently.
It’s staying no matter what.
“I have all the permission I need to be physically relaxed.”
I find myself increasingly able to spot & bypass the self-created limitations that keep me artificially prohibited from relaxing.
I’m able to realize more deeply that relaxing doesn’t mean neglecting.
If anything, it puts me in a better state to do what I need to do.
I used DRRed for 1y9m, HeO for 1y7m, DRR for 6m, the old LBFH for almost a year, all subs with differing degrees of regulation. Yet none of them come close to the speed and depth of the new LBFH.
It’s staying no matter what.
Update 1:
This is the last day of my washout.
The subs are blooming well even until now.
Looking back, 2 weeks of washout is not too many after all.
I expected a continuous dip after the more active effects waned away, but a lot of the other effects stabilised and stayed strong instead.
I’m developing results that didn’t happen as deeply when I was actively in a cycle.
It’s worth noting that I feel some incongruence since the middle of the washout, i might even call it recon. The difference between when i’m using subs and when I’m in a long washout was a bit disorientating. But it works out well anyway.
I’m considering more, but this is good enough for now. Next cycle tomorrow, LBFH & Exe.
Did I accidentally delete the last post?
I think it was about a deeper level of regulation from LBFH.
Internally, the depth is different, VERY significantly distinct, I’m holding this sub and its family hostage, it’s not going anywhere from my stack ever. This is the fastest, most profound progress in my regulation i’ve ever gone through.
But when written down, it’s essentially the same as what I already wrote here anyway, so nothing’s lost.
LBFH Exe
Rest
Rest
LBFH HeO
Rest
Rest
LBFH Exe
Rest
Rest
HeO Exe
Rest
Rest
Repeat
95 days total including 7 washout days at the end.
5 day break every 3 listening days for LBFH & Exe.
I saw promising results from a break after going through the last washout.
I felt the more active results degraded after 6-7 days, so I hope 5 strikes the right balance even with the more sparse listening schedule.
HeO once every 5 listening days.
I’ve listened to it for 1y7m total, so I’d gamble on not needing to listen to it as often anymore for what I need.
Well, it’s to be expected at this point.
It was surprising enough that so many of it stuck after months of not using it.
Not everything is gone though, the deeper changes that are still here are good enough.
I can always refresh it anytime I want.
I’m feeling the push to learn more about the virtues and to live up to them again.
It’s so natural, as if it’s the most normal thing to happen, that I didn’t even think to mention it.
So it needs longer listening time to finally trigger similar results I had back then.
As within, so without, let’s see how much it will affect my actions & decisions this time around.
I realised lately, when someone is complaining about their life, I’m able to naturally be calm & regulated on a different level. I’m able to accept & comfort them for who they are, as the person behind the issues they say. There’s no need for the clinging to having internal judgment towards them, neither for nor against.
From capacity comes genuine care.
LBFH 15m EE 15m
Bringing back my body into regulation has been my default. It goes very quickly back to calmness no matter what.
And I do mean that. No matter what.
2 years ago I wrote about pulses & latches.
Basically thoughts & feelings only come in one quick pulse that immediately goes down, followed by another, then another, until everything dies out.
Our mind is the one that creates the illusion of continuity & permanence, as if everything is one giant blob of emotion that won’t ever end.
Being aware of the pulses, and unlatching from the illusion, thus, was my very first real results from meditation (ofc with the help of subs).
Later on, I learnt the value of just observing the illusion, not only actively unlatching.
I brought this up because back then, i became aware of this pulse & latch after I started using HeO. Now I start to see it in action again.
Is this not purely LBFH, but also HeO in play?
I wasn’t expecting it to be so.
The difference now, I’m aware of the pulse, but now the unlatching process is very quick. It goes straight to deep regulation in a snap. There’s little need to use my mind.
It’s a straight “notice → regulation”. Bypassing many unnecessary blocks/complexity that has been falsely programmed in my mind.
Because in reality, there’s 0 thing holding me back from being calm & regulated. Anything that suggests so is an illusion.
I have all the infallible permissions I need to be at ease within myself.
There nothing to “solve”. The instantenous path towards regulation is always there, ready to be taken at any time, in any place, under any circumstances.
Update 1:
Now that I think about it, maybe “latching” isn’t the most accurate description.
It implies a static object that I have to actively disconnect.
“Releasing a subconsciously tightened grip” is much more accurate. Because I’m already engaging in it, what I do is just stopping the engagement.
I’ll call it “pulse & grip” from now on.