What is love? - Custom Journal

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#41

New stage: Sleep problems

The history of this nicotine withdrawal:
Day 1, Friday : lots of thoughts and imaginations of using nicotine . Advertising for new nicotine pouches in a newsletter.
Day 2, Saturday : Some aggressive feelings, when bored thoughts about nicotine use
Day 3, Sunday: Only slept for two hours, thinking about stopping this withdrawal and continue consuming nicotine while having a healthy sleep rhythm

I continue with my decision.
Days 3-5 should be the worst. It should be over after a few weeks.

Itā€™s an interesting experience so far.

#42

Happy, happy, joy, joy.
This is a good morning.
I am trying to start the day not with addictive behavior but something positive like writing.
As soon as I am addicted to writing, I will have to find a new activity to do in the morning.

Subliminal-wise, I am starting the day with the ā€œWhat is love?ā€-custom.
Later there will be time for Ultimate Artist.

Did some research yesterday about spiritual topics and want to write about it, powered by UA. :smiley:

I also found a custom of UA. Maybe I will listen to one loop of that. Itā€™s a small custom with 10 modules. Ultimate Writer is in it, but not Sacred Words, and it is QV1:

  • Ultimate Artist
  • Inner Circle
  • Ultimate Writer
  • The Spotlight
  • Trailblazer
  • Current Invoker
  • Productivity Unleashed
  • Divine Will
  • Informaticon
  • RAIKOV

I also have a Ultimate Writing Ultima V1 with Sacred Words, Trailblazer and Informaticon.

#43

Yeah, day 6 of Wanted QV2.
Signs of attraction are there, but from women who are quite younger or older than me. Lol. Okay, I didnā€™t see any other women on the street today, but this was the data I received.
I still donā€™t have money to spend on new clothes, so fashion has to wait.

Today I am planning to listen to two loops of wanted and 1-2 loops of the Love custom.
Thinking about dropping UA completely from the stack rotation. I am not taking enough action in the creative writing department.

I listened to R.I.C.H. yesterday, as I have created a pathway for money manifestation. But so far, no luck, :smiley: Will have to do some more good old work on that project. And see how it turns out after a while.

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#44

Two loops of Wanted are too much for me. I got so tired during the 2nd loop that I slept for the second half of it. Luckily, I am working from home today.
I will listen to only one loop of the Love Custom later this day - at night.

#45

Aggression showed when a bicycle driver made a mad comment about me. I suddenly got angry and talked back aggressively.
The anger didnā€™t go away for a while.

I felt the power of it and enjoyed it.

Before the anger there was a situation with a woman and I flirting without words. I should have said hi as it was so obvious.

Damn the inaction. I consciously have to remind myself to action

#46

I notice that when I listen to more than 2-3 loops of the subliminals I get very tired and sleep during the day.

I decided to listen to wanted every 4th day and to the love custom every second day. So my current schedule would be:

  • day1: love custom, wanted
  • day2: rest day
  • day3: love custom, ps custom
  • day4: rest day

Today I am listening to the love custom and the ps custom, both qv2.

Anger is becoming less. But tiredness seems to be still here and there since stopping nicotine. Also the boredom is here and there.

I am working with Fred Dodsons levels of consciousness to overcome the boredom.

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#47

If the fatigue continues, please consider a two day a week listening schedule.

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#48

Thanks RVconsultant, thanks for the input.

Currently, I am thinking about listening to two subs only and to Wanted only every 4th day.
So the plan would be:

  • Day 1 Love custom, Wanted
  • Day 2: Processing
  • Day 3: Love custom
  • Day 4: Processing

Wanted seems to be the heavier title in the stack. I have two options with it. Either I play it every 4th day or I play it every 2nd day and wait for it not making me so tired anymore. I would have to research if other users of Wanted got used to the title. From memory people get used to it and are no longer tired after a while, but I could be wrong and it is probably also about my personal experience, which might differ from others.

Today is a processing day.
I woke up early at 6:40 am without an alarm clock.
Then I did my morning routine and worked for a bit, later I will go outside and look how I feel outside.
Yesterday I just felt self-conscious instead of self-confident outside, it was cold outside, and I felt diminished.
I hope this will be better today.

I have now 12 one-hour sessions of therapy (once a month) for the next year, and I am curious if the therapist helps me with my relationship problems. Expecting the work together to be fruitful can be helpful. As I see this as an important part of reality creation (expectation).

#49

The therapist gave me another nugget today. He noticed that I seem to be answering slowly.
Not in the rythm you would expect an answer and sometimes I am doing pauses for no reason (in his opinion).
I said I would be answering slowly because I am bored by what people say. But that might not be the whole truth.

Maybe I am just disinterested, maybe it has some meaning.

I can see that it might disrupt conversations from happening.

So now when the therapist and I are talking I always answer already when he is still talking lolā€¦

I donā€™t know, I think he is onto something. With some friends we are talking over each other.
Some friends think I am slow. But I can think fastly if I want to I am just so bored by the thinking speed of normal people that I become very lethargic and disinterested in conversation.

I am shifting from using 100% of brain capacity to using 10 % of brain capacity - while normal people seem to be at 40% constantly. This is just made up, a metaphor with bullshit numbers to explain what I am talking about.

So, when I am with normal people I am mostly in 10% mode, while they are in 40% mode. So, we donā€™t match. When I am in 100% mode, then we donā€™t match either.

I know only few people who can match my 100% mode and I can talk to them until one of us goes back to 10% modeā€¦ Mostly I am the one who goes back to 10%.

#50

Thoughts this morning:

  • I really donā€™t want or need to have a relationship at the moment
  • I am happy with what I got
  • I donā€™t even understand why people want intimate relationships. Perhaps only for the wrong reasons like fear of being alone, social programmingā€¦

In other news I ordered a Daredevil/PCC/Inner Circle custom yesterday. With some dreams in mind of becoming a social person.

Also I got interested in gamification to get a dopamine fix from activities I find boring. Still testing an app for that.

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#51

The endlessly talking head has to stop now
Itā€™s just an appearance on that empty screen
The empty screen is relaxed
The talking head says:

  • write a novel
  • get a girlfriend
  • donā€™t get a girlfriend
  • bla bla bla
    For a few weeks I forgot that I am not the talking head and now It feels like waking up from a nightmare
#52

This proposed schedule looks like it will likely reduce your fatigue. Please monitor your energy levels, and make sure you get plenty of sleep.

#53

Two days ago I was at a party. It was great. People seemed to like me for no reason and it was great fun.
I also met a guy who could help me with a hobby project, but sadly I didnā€™t stay in touch via Facebook etc.

I am getting younger and younger, like Benjamin Button, nobody believed my real age.

I am missing the dominance of Khan a bit. I seem to have a too friendly vibe. If someone behaved wrongly I couldnā€™t tell him to leaveā€¦ or maybe it was because they were drunk and didnā€™t care.

Now I got my custom in the early hours of Sunday morning - faster than expected- and today I listened to the first loop.
The custom has Daredevil, PCC and inner circle in it. I will post all modules here:

  1. Daredevil Core

  2. Inner Circle Q Core

  3. Power Can Corrupt Core

  4. Dragon Tongue

  5. Story Teller

  6. Song of Joy

  7. Emperorā€™s Voice

  8. Voice Master

  9. Alpha Body Language

  10. Eagle Eye

  11. Alpha of Alpha

  12. Lion IV

  13. Divine Self-Image

  14. Dominion

  15. The Way of ROI

  16. The Lines

  17. Glory Seeker

  18. The Spotlight

  19. Enchanting Smile

  20. Panther

The bold modules are only bold because I did not have them before.

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#54

Today I am listening to wanted in the morning and the love custom in the evening.

What I noticed at the partyā€¦ Love seems to also work with guys. Some of them might have been gay, but the other where friendly like we have known each other forever. Similar interests etc.

Is the Heartsong custom also working on bringing good friends in my life? I need to work out a routine for staying touchā€¦

But on the other hand why stay in touch when everyone could be so friendly?

#55

Harmonic Singularity seems to be working on removing tension in my face.
It feels a bit like when you smoked too much weed. Itā€™s very relaxed now.

#56

I am beginning to question the idea that my face is relaxed because of Harmonic Singularity.
I donā€™t know, maybe it is something else, but I try not to freak out as long as I donā€™t know why it feels so different. The rest of my body also feels more relaxed when I am aware of it.

Today itā€™s my off day, and I am listening to Limit Destroyer U as a booster.

#57

I am dreaming a lot lately. Even short phases of sleep put me into dreaming. Most dreams are about day to day situations like buying something in a store. It could be that my subconscious is practicing for something.

My face still feels a bit different, but I probably am used to the feeling now. I donā€™t know whatā€™s happening. Telling a doctor my face feels like I am high isnā€™t an option yet.

Today I start with the Love custom.

Later I will listen to the DD custom. Something in that custom might have changed my dreams. In the past I had more abstract dreams, now they have to do with people I know. I suspect it is ā€œThe Linesā€ module training for something.

Also sleep seems to be different in general at the moment. I woke up early today and itā€™s easy to get out of bed although work is uninteresting at the moment.

I need to restart private journaling because I miss the insights I got from it.

#58

Feeling disrespected in some situations, I am thinking about switching to an alpha title:

  • ascension
  • emperor
  • khan

These seem to be good options. Have to read the different descriptions of them again.

Also, I am depressed/in reconciliation since a few days. Even felt social anxiety again yesterday.

It seems sad like manifesting people that annoy me into my life because I feel bad (LOA).

My sleep pattern is different, too. Sleeping early at night and waking up early in the morning.

Canā€™t motivate myself to workā€¦

Itā€™s winter again. Probably winter depression. Noises in the house also annoy me.

Argh.

AND Anger. Angry but not able to express it.

#59

Hang in there!

You have listed why it is happening and you also know that itā€™s temporary.

Itā€™s for sure a strange process, that one keep forgetting and forgetting, and falling into despair ever time recon hits. But also with time the time one gets better and better at spotting the signs and snap out of it earlier.

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#60

Today I am listening to my Will-Power-Ultima (Sanguine, Foundation, Eye of the Storm, Stronger, Stop Porn, Inner Gasoline).

The plan is to listen to it more constantly and drop the fapping habit to get more energy and maybe getting interested in taking action.

I stopped nicotine a few weeks ago, so I am confident, that I can drop another addiction.

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