I should have taken an early washout.
What was the use of listening to LE back then? It was Christmas.
My workload is not as much as usual.
I gotta prepare for after new year though, so I’ll use LE tomorrow alongside AHJ.
LE 2m10s AHJ 10s AC 10s
AHJ +10s every listening day until 7m30s.
15m twice every month.
Slow progression.
I don’t expect a recon, but since there’s DRR2 in the stack 4 times a month, I won’t take the risk.
The foundation of my inner sense of power is being shaken up by DRR2.
It feels weird, but it doesn’t affect my productivity. The balance is great.
It’s perfect for what I need. The shake up makes it easy to spot problems within its structural integrity.
DRR2 is awesome.
If I run it more than 3-4 times a month, it might be too much.
So I’m gonna keep it light now as a precaution.
I believe I’m getting recon from the L part of LE.
I just don’t pay that much attention to it. I’ll let it do what it’s supposed to do in the background and reap the benefit after. I wonder what will I get.
Update 1:
Not feeling anything from AHJ yet.
Well, it was only 10s. I didn’t expect a miracle.
Update 2:
I don’t feel any different. 10s is definitely too low for AHJ.
I know that it’s too small to expect anything, but I’m paying attention to it anyway even with the small exposure because my experience with RM:UWX, WB, Mogul etc showed me that 5-10s is enough.
I’ll use 20s tomorrow alongside 3m of DRR2. Let’s see how it will differ
I’m losing the push to socialize from LBFH already.
Good, it has done its job softening the recon from DRR2.
Now I can fully focus on productivity again.
I’m taking a gamble on AHJ.
I assume it can fill my need for fulfilment to soften the subtle recon build up from DRR2.
But if it’s giving me even more recon instead, I’ll drop it.
My goal with AHJ is only to make DRR2 easier.
Sorry idk where I saw this but I read you’re sticking to ST2 of The Mind Illuminated?
This is mentioned in the book as not the way to go.
Once you’ve had an experience of the meditation in stage 2 being easy, go to stage 3, learn what’s in there, and then alternate between stages 2 and 3 depending on your state and attention that day.
There is absolutely no benefit to sticking to ST2.
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Oh fuck i missed that from the book.
Thanks for reminding me.
My thought pattern was “the benefit i got from stage 2 is enough to support what i want, so i don’t see why i should go to the next stage. I can spend time focusing on it even more before advancing”.
But if the guide literally says that it’s not good, then I may as well follow the expert’s advice.
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DRR2 3m AHJ 20s
There’s recon.
It could be from DRR2, AHJ or both.
The recon now is “avoidance”.
There are also subtle hints of the usual “power” recon from DRR2.
I’m sure that this is a recon because, like usual, the source is from deep inside, it shakes & bypasses the defense & structure of my mind and it just feels distinct from normal negative feelings.
I’m glad I chose to lower the exposure & use slow microloop.
Update 1:
Solved the “power” recon again by taking a walk while doing an introspection.
I guess the fix to recon from DRR2 is just that.
It’s the same thing. That means I just need to prepare time to do that whenever i listen to DRR2.
There’s still the usual tiny subtle recon.
It’s never really a problem as long as i lower the listening frequency.
Once every 7-8 days should be small enough.
The more I use DRR2, the closer I get to the true balance between what the sub is helping me become and what I truly want to be.
I’m keeping an open mind on what DRR2 shows to me.
If it makes me want to embrace being something, I oblige and fully immerse myself in it.
Seeing the extreme helps me decide whether I want to go more in that direction, adjust it down or both.
So far, I like where DRR2 is bringing me towards in terms of internal power and the projection of it.
It’s working well. I like what I see.
I just have to increase the frequency of use very slowly until I reach once every other day.
Update 2:
Wow, i didn’t expect that manifestation.
DRR2 is strong.
–
Note to self:
Be persistent & serious.
No punishment nor rewards.Experiment on these.
Update 3:
There’s a hint of extra happiness in what I do, in discovering things, in living life.
For now, it only shows up sparsely. I wonder how it will be once I’ve been using AHJ longer.
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I begin to feel it again.
That distinct lack of fulfilment.
It’s the reason why I started using LBFH a few months ago.
This happening now, when I’m not as busy as I was back then confirms that I falsely attributed being too busy after going so hard with LE as one of the reasons for the feeling of lacking.
This is not a work life balance problem, this is a recon.
A recon that was just so conveniently solved by LBFH.
That means using a third sub, like LBFH, is enough to fix the problem.
I need to ramp up AHJ’s exposure. AHJ is the fulfilment sub.
It would be strange if AHJ couldn’t solve it.
This means I can go hard at focusing on productivity again.
It’s now clear that my obsession wasn’t the problem.
It took 2 months to figure out, but at least now I know.
I’m glad there’s AHJ. If there’s no AHJ, I’d only know about this after I used LBFH for half a year.
Contrast is one of the best ways to understand recon, and most importantly, myself.
With that out of the way, EB is now back on the table again.
I don’t need to be afraid of work life balance anymore.
I can get back to how I usually am, focusing on work.
If EB is updated in the fourth quarter of this year, I’ll try to use it.
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I got the “reliving the past” effect again.
It’s similar to what I got from RM:UWX.
The difference is now I’m viewing them from a different angle.
I’m effortlessly reframing them / just see them from a different perspective altogether.
All seemingly building up towards giving me better foundations for my inner power.
DRR2 is completely different after I gained clarity about its recon.
It’s all about “power”. Inside and outside.
Using DRR2 2-3 times a month gave me more than when I forced myself to run it once every other day.
Could also be AoH recon causing the lack of fulfillment.
And by recon, I mean “realization….”
You need to experience and realize your lack of fulfillment before you have the intrinsic drive to fix it, right?
Just like how before people become powerful on The Will To Power, they realize where they’re being manipulated… and how before people become dominant on Khan, they see all the shit tests that people are using to steal dominance and confidence from them (which they never noticed before)
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It could be, but i believe it was from DRR2.
It felt exactly the same as what i felt back then before I added LBFH.
It was also reduced when i solved the recon about “power” from DRR2 by doing an introspection.
Which means there’s a connection between them.
The recon felt as if the joy of my life was yanked out from the inside.
It's somewhat similar to the peak of the "loss" recon from WB.
It felt like a part of me, and the life of people that I care about are being taken out of my life, as if their existence were erased, dead. No, as if they never existed/alive at all in this world. It genuinely felt worse than actually seeing people around me dead.
It was nonsense since we are objectively still alive and well.
But that’s just how a significant recon feels like.
A great dissonance. Something that’s taken away from your life and you have no clue about why, suffering with no realization in sight until you figure out the clarity behind the recon.
But once i gain clarity, the recon always goes significantly lower
I’ll try to dig more into this, i gotta gain clarity & realization about the cause of the recon if want to resolve it faster.
It was solved simply by stacking it with LBFH, and the exact same “lack of fulfilment” recon came back after i stopped using it. Looking at the objective list for LBFH seems to be a good way to start.
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LE 15m AHJ 30s
LE full loop.
I can go back to focusing on productivity again after I switched LBFH with AHJ.
If I notice better results then I will drop the microloop altogether.
That moment where you just sit & stare blankly beside your bed and say “fuck I’m so tired I don’t want to keep going…” yet you know that you’ll triumph over it given enough time.
I begin to feel “the inner power to just say fuck it & do it anyway” happening faster & more effortlessly.
This is similar to what I felt with DRLD & DRR1.
I bet this is from getting the recon from DRR2 resolved + LE.
The result is the same, but the characteristics of the underlying mechanism that drives it are different.
DRLD feels like you do it because the limits are already broken or you want to break them.
DRR1 feels so passive yet holistic as if a good chunk of the hurdles & struggles never existed. I could push forward as if it were the most natural thing to do.
DRR2 + LE feels like it comes from my inner power. As if I’m taking the reign over my own life.
I didn’t expect DRR1 & DRR2 to be this different.
I can’t wait to see what DRR4 will be like, but that’s still a few years from now.
–
Or maybe because I was not as tired last month, lol.
This month will be perfect to find out the real answer.
DRR2’s recon has significantly subsided, LE is not hindered by LBFH anymore, and I’ll be stupidly busy for the next 3-4 months.
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Since I can focus on productivity again after I’ve switched out of LBFH, I’ll cut out social media again.
That means forum is also on pause, again.
I tried cutting out social media 2-3 months ago, but DRR2’s lack of fulfilment recon forced me to get out of it. Now that it’s mostly over & figured out, I can attempt the optimization again.
Journaling will be stopped for a bit, but I believe finding clarity about “power” was enough to resolve DRR2’s recon going forward.
I’ll still visit the forum one or two times a month since saint said LE will be updated this spring.
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I was noticing that you’ve had many good creative ideas over the past months. Made me want to come and see what titles you’ve been running.
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I FOUND IT
I found a deeper insight for my fulfilment.
Strangely, when it clicked, it felt like LE & DRR2 has been building up to this moment. AHJ is the bonding agent that made me realize that about fulfilment using the foundation of both of the subs.
I can see how this boldness, inner power, perseverance is immensely useful for when i’ll use the RM subs later on. The inner power to not only be free to be creative, but also to execute it with conviction. To put it simply, “My way is the way”, as the cover says it. DRR is really the perfect foundation.
I think I understand why SC chose “freedom” as the foundation for RM. Although DRR is not RM, it gives me a glimpse of how having much more “freedom” can be more beneficial for creativity.
It has only been a few days, but it feels like i’m rediscovering the joy in all of these for the first time. The possibilities, the vigor, the anxious-excitement, it’s like i’m a child eager to play near the sea.
Before it clicked, AHJ was intensifying the subtle avoidance i had eversince i stopped HeO. Now i guess the process of self discovery has finally yielded its results.
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That must be from LE.
It’s the only cognitive enhancement sub i’ve used over the past months.
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Or maybe it’s just you.
I don’t know. But I did notice it.
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I have been thinking about this for months, but it just clicked after I got back up from DRR2’s recon.
Most, if not all of what I learned about how to meditate is applicable to achieve other things.
The contrast of “no recon > DRR2’s recon > no recon” showed me that this is true.
The problem with my approach to productivity is it’s mostly focused on the outside.
Outside restriction, outside optimization etc.
The “next level” of productivity that I’ve been trying to discover is inside.
I thought I knew, but I didn’t. I needed to gain clarity on this and I wasn’t even aware of it.
I thought what I did inside was good, but it was not deep enough. Meditation & the method of meditation taught me this.
There are still a lot of experiments to figure out more about this.
But I’m sure there’s something to be found here.
I feel like every time I stop journaling, I gain better clarity about what to write, what to focus on.
It’s not “write whatever I think about” anymore.
Is journaling once in a while actually the better approach for me than doing it every day?
There are pros and cons, the only way to know is to test it out.
For now, I’ll write the journal only if I truly need to like this one.
Otherwise, I’ll continue with the social media hiatus.
This is the better option for now.
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I think I’m getting an “avoidance” recon from AHJ.
It’s not confirmed, but a suspicion is enough.
I’m not gonna risk it. I’m dropping AHJ.
The results are great, but my main goal with AHJ is to soften DRR2’s recon.
If it adds more recon then it defeats the purpose of using it in the first place.
I still want to use a third sub besides DRR2 though.
So far I’m confident that I can run DRR2 once every 6 days now. However, I’ll still stick with 7-8 days.
I can use a third sub in between when I’m not listening to DRR2.
But I can’t use a new sub, it’s too risky. I’ve already risked it with AHJ and that’s enough for now.
HeO, DRR1, RM:UWX & Mogul.
These are the only options I have.
I also want it to have NSE because LE doesn’t yet. So that leaves me with DRR1 & Mogul.
I’ll think more about these options.
Are you sure that this suspicion isn’t recon itself?
- Relentlessly Switching Titles / Title Jumping: Wanting to constantly change up your stack can be a sign of reconciliation. This one is a bit hard to see, because many people simply enjoy seeing what subliminals can achieve and will buy every new title simply for the science. That being said, we’ve observed that MOST people who title jump due to reconciliation will also engage in some weird logic by claiming to switch because the subliminal “isn’t working,” but will proceed to purchase multiple other titles, jumping from one to another because “they aren’t getting results.”
When recon manifests in switching titles and you decided to drop AoH for something new, than your suspicion could be a way your subconscious found to make you switch.
Usually this happens when the results we see are threatening a wounded part of us that we keep most dear.
It could be but it doesn’t matter.
I’ve set out the rule before I even started AHJ.
If it gives me recon, i’ll stop it.
I was already compromising by gambling on a new sub.
If I could, i’d have chosen ME instead of AHJ.
But I needed to focus on softening DRR2’s recon.
If 1 full loop & 5 microloops gave me a subtle recon, then I don’t want to unnecessarily increase the risk of it compounding and giving more recon on top of DRR2’s.
My goal is not to get what AHJ could offer, but to soften DRR2’s recon like what LBFH did.
If i can get more while i’m at it, then it’s good.
But if it just brings more risk of recon, then it loses its purpose altogether.
If i want to push through the recon on top of DRR2’s, I might as well use ME.
I see you’re rocking a new name 
I’m missing crucial lore in my absence, rofl.