01/05/2022 Manifesting more wisdom, these last few days have been filled with insightful messages from helpful members on the forum, my thoughts after listening to my subs ,situations that are occurring, youtube videos and loved ones. Im Trying to absorb, comprehend and apply. Wow everything I need to hear. A few days ago 01/02/22 I think that was the night 
I wrote in my journal I was going to get clarity the next day. It’s been non stop the very next day while washing the dishes I turned on YouTube and a Sagittarius reading popped up( my sign )and I don’t usually listen to readings anymore but there is one youtuber that is always on point with my energy as soon as i saw the video I was thinking this is a message for me the fact that she hasn’t posted for a while and just the night before i told myself I was going to receive a message was no coincidence. She said Sagittarius I know your a free spirit you have goals and lots compassion for others.
What you want more than anything is to feel loved and be free. Then she hit me with this you are feeling bullied into conforming to the norm you have been trying to do things your way you may have quit your 9-5 to start a business and don’t feel like it’s working stop diubting yourself. You will be victorious But… 
In order for you to get there you will need some organization and structure. At that point I was thinking yes I know 
then she said it’s going to happen even if you don’t feel like it’s going to work out right now It is. If I remember correctly the first card she pulled was the discipline card in reverse. Yes I have lots of work to do part of my low mood is definitely due to lacking structure and organization that is something my 9-5 gave me and I do miss that. When I resigned I really didn’t think this would be an issue for me and I’ve been dealing with disappointment and shame cause I just can’t seem to get myself together. The flame and passion that was so strong died out and I’m trying to get it back. I’ve learned so much why am I having such a hard time applying everything. I hope this is not recon but just my mind trying to process everything. On a good note I watched this video from Mel Robbins, everytime I stumble across somthing like this I truly believe it’s a manifestation from Mogul ZP oh and no progress on the 10+ job applications I’ve put in over the last few months the job I really wanted js still in pre-qualification status and the interview I had for a different job is still in interview in progress status and 2 other positions still show under consideration.
. Last night was a bit scary I didn’t fall asleep until 3:30 am I woke up exactly at 4:44am shaking trembling it’s hard to explain but it felt like my inner body was vibrating and I couldn’t control it I really thought it was about to quit on me I panicked and at 4:45am my spiritual sister texted me and asked if I was up and told me to call her. I did and I think her call actually saved me from calling 911 we had our spiritual talk and also talked about subclub I introduced her to SC she’s trying to figure out what program is the best fit for her. We were talking about dreams and Astral traveling and never giving up on goals things of thay nature. The conversation was healing we stayed on the phone until about 7am and before we finished she said I love your paintings I saw them on FB I want to buy one and I was like cool no prob, I was going to make her one from scratch but she already picked one out. Now the painting she picked out was during my learning experimental phase so I said are you sure you want that one she replied yes I love it how much I said I’m only going to charge $25 for this one. So we get off the phone and she immediately sent me $100 dollars I was so in shock and so grateful omg.
. Things are turning around my husband started his program and that was a manifestation in itself because I’ve been praying for him begging him at times to get some type of treatment for his trauma and coping mechanisms since I first met him almost 9 years ago omg our wedding anniversary is on 01/12 
I just remembered 
i think it’s me not the subs. I do get the feeling at times that I’m am not even close to being aligned with Mogul ZP so it could be causing some fears like I’m trying to get myself to take on some responsibilities that I just can’t handle right now , but that’s the thing I have lots of things I need to handle and accomplish no excuses! I have to figure this out and make things work in my life for me and my girls. As I always say failing at this is not an option. On a positive note my paint supplies will be coming in today I will finally be back to my painting that will definitely help with my anxiety and I will be doing somthing productive which always lifts my spirits. I also need to get back to my spiritual rituals and things of that nature I know I have help in high places I just haven’t had the energy. Either way although I haven’t had time to do my ceremonial practices I know I’m still being protected and taken care of.
I actually feel better now about the emotional Rollercoaster I’ve been on healing takes hard work. You have good days and bad days but when your putting in the effort and know it’s getting you to where you need to be in order to be happy, successful ect… it’s worth it.
and I’m going to look up that youtuber for you. Oh have you made in any dietary changes to aid with your adhd I notice when I eat healthier and keep up with my vitamins it tones down my adhd, depression and fibromyalgia small change that makes a big difference.
and right when i was about to start handing a few things over to the cashier and let him know I wasn’t purchasing he said would you like to use your $17.00 credit 
I wanted to jump for joy and i was thinking where in the heck did this 17 dollars come from ive never had this many points wow but I stayed cool and was like sure! Omg so much gratitude:pray:t4: I walked out the store like life is awsome everything is working. Today I’m working with Mercury and my other rituals. I’m focused now and aligned working on keeping my vibes high. I want to mention even though I ran the alchemist program a while ago and not for long I feel whatever I listened to is still working within me. Somthing keeps telling me I really need to go back to that program and stick with it I feel like it’s what I am most aligned with and will get quick and powerful results due to that but when choosing my current stack I wanted to pick the things that I was having the most issues with in life where most of my obstacles are. So I’m good with what I have for now because when I do go back to alchemist I will be even stronger, confident focused than I would have been without running my current stack. Hope that made sense I’m definitely feeling like an alchemist right now tho lol tramsmuting and manifesting visualizing my higher self in the cosmos a bright beam of light shining through the darkness with a fiery ring of protection around me. With all the financial issues going on I’m not worried it’s temporary I will get to where I need to be I’m abundant,aligned, provided for and protected. The Universe is telling me you are taken care of just focus on doing your work and stop wasting your energy on worrying and use it towards manifesting the life you deserve. I also want to say I stumbled across a thread called bounty somthing I can’t remember the exact name but