I like that ~ a dance.
I’ve pulled the Magdalene card from Love Your Inner Goddess by Alana Fairchild many times since purchasing the deck a couple of years ago. It’s a deck focused on empowerment, self-love, and deep feminine wisdom, and this particular card always makes me pause and reflect.
It speaks of unconditional love, but also of boundaries. It warns against those who feel entitled to love on demand, who expect it as something owed rather than freely given. One part of the guidebook always stands out to me:
“Some may claim that they are owed gifts of love and say that she must provide them on demand. Maybe they threaten to withdraw their love otherwise, to harm or reject you, or try to justify their behaviour by their rights, legal or otherwise.”
At first, I wasn’t sure why this message kept coming up. But reflecting back on 2022, I can see it more clearly. After listening to the original LBFH experimental copy, I manifested a relationship that mirrored these dynamics. Now, with more honesty, I can recognize my part in it—how I contributed, how I allowed love to feel transactional in ways I hadn’t fully realized at the time.
This card also speaks of the sacredness of the body, of pleasure as a gift rather than something to be controlled or taken. It reminds me that my body is mine, that joy is my birthright, and that I don’t need permission to experience pleasure in ways that feel right to me. Love, in its purest form, is not a debt to be collected. It flows freely, without coercion or guilt.
I recognize now that my love is sacred, my heart is sovereign, and I choose to give from a place of wholeness—not out of fear, not out of duty, but because it feels right. Maybe this card wasn’t here to warn me. Maybe it was guiding me toward deeper honesty with myself. A quiet reflection, a final thread being untangled. A celebration of the love I now know: one that is free, whole, and mine to give as I choose.
Have you ever had a card show up repeatedly, only to realize later what it was teaching you?
My energy is what magnetizes people, not the algorithm.
Went to the mall and purchased a few makeup items (haven’t done that in ages)
Purchased an outfit for tonight’s event ~ a tutu, nylons and a bodysuit
Received the best help from the retail workers
A Night of Celebration, Clarity, and Freedom
Last night was the first time I dressed up and went out for St. Patrick’s Day downtown to see live music since I quit drinking in 2018. And you know what? I had an absolute blast.
I felt the familiar energy of the crowd, the pulse of the music, and even the echoes of my past. The memories of drinking, the highs and lows, the way it left me feeling for days after. I used to drink to loosen up, to feel comfortable in my own skin, to break free on the dance floor. Yet beneath it all, there was always a quiet fear of being seen. Perfectionism. People-pleasing. A lingering sense of not being enough.
I had my first drink at 13 and my relationship with alcohol was toxic for years. It almost took my life once. But I am here. Alive. Whole. Becoming the best version of myself.
Since quitting in 2018 I have been on a path of deep transformation. Unraveling old patterns. Healing wounds. Stepping into my truth. One of the biggest shifts was when I stopped drinking one day and never looked back. That choice was an act of self-love and true healing.
Last night I danced. I laughed. I was fully present with no need for alcohol. And I felt completely at peace being around others who were drinking. There was a time I feared I would be alone if I didn’t drink. That no one would want to be around me. But now I see the beauty in the friendships and experiences I have. Ones built on truth, authenticity, and genuine connection.
My inner child, my younger self, the one who once felt lost, she feels seen. She feels safe. She feels heard. She is free.
This is amazing! Alcohol is such a pervasive thing that finds its way into social gatherings. Being able to let loose without it is such a massive strength.
Thank you. I had so much fun! I enjoyed my ice water.
I even woke up way before my alarm to have time for inner reflection before I do a special coaching call with one of my long term clients.
Did my 2nd full loop of the new Seductress about 30 minutes ago. Embracing some Damien Rice music while gently releasing some tears. Did a little dance in the kitchen while I made some espresso.
That outfit is holy damn! Love it
I seem to be handling the upgrade to Seductress really well. 2 full loops completed since its release. Taking lots of action.
I feel like adding SB to my stack now.
I was asked to apply for yoga teacher position at my gym again today by a different teacher. She said she would be a reference for me!
I am not sure how I feel about taking on that commitment. I love being self employed.
They are lacking someone like me with my background in mental health and reiki on top of yoga certification.
I had fun doing a vinyasa class today. I usually go to slow flow only.
The new seductress has me really prioritizing my body mind and soul. Not that I wasn’t already but I feel myself expanding and staying consistent.
Navigating the Shift
Ever since listening to the upgrade to Seductress 5X now and also SB 3x with it, I’ve felt an undercurrent of unease, like something beneath the surface is shifting. Outwardly, I’m handling things. I’m showing up for my business, my kids, my life. But inside, there’s tension. It’s this push and pull between two versions of me.
One version sees herself as a single mom relying on support, feeling the weight of uncertainty, questioning how she’ll handle financial shifts, taxes, and the constant changes that come with being self-employed. She worries about the long-term, about whether she’s making the right moves, about the what-ifs that creep in late at night.
Then there’s the Empress. The woman who owns her power, who creates wealth with ease, who isn’t just okay with financial shifts, she thrives in them. She trusts herself to make large sums of money. She welcomes growth, expansion, and even the responsibility that comes with it. She moves differently. She expects success rather than chasing it.
I can feel these two identities colliding more intensely. It’s stirring up subconscious patterns, making me face the incongruences within me. The part of me that hesitates and overthinks is clashing with the part that is effortlessly magnetic, confident, and in control.
I also look at the evidence of how much I have achieved since resigning from my career to live my purpose full-time in 2022. I built something from the ground up, created my own path, and proved to myself that I can thrive outside of the conventional. I am not someone who stays stagnant. I evolve.
Being in Aaron Doughty’s Conscious Business Accelerator course is also stirring things up for my next steps of evolution. It’s challenging me to expand my vision, refine my purpose, and step even more into the identity of someone who not only receives abundance but leads and creates it with intention.
I realize now that my discomfort isn’t just about finances, it’s about the identity I’m stepping into. The old version of me and the new version are meeting head-on, and I’m standing at the threshold, deciding who I will be.
The truth is I am not just a single mom doing what she can to get by. And I’m not waiting for abundance to prove itself to me. I am the powerhouse. I am both a nurturer and a leader, both receptive and in control. I know how to receive, but I also know how to create.
From this moment on, I choose to embody the Empress fully. I welcome the financial shifts as a natural part of my expansion. I release the fear of taxes and change because I trust my ability to navigate it all. Money is not something I have to chase or fear. It flows to me, and I know exactly what to do with it.
I don’t have to choose between these two identities. I am a powerful, self-sufficient creator who knows how to receive and create. This is who I am now.
And that feels damn good.
Hey nice to see you’re embracing more of the real powerful you, I discovered an amazing healer a few days ago that you might find helpful, website is thexicode.com and he’s got a lot of his stuff on his youtube channel “Masati” for free to test out, It’s helping me upshift like crazy and I haven’t even got to the paid stuff yet, it’s upgrades at the DNA level, all organic frequencies coming from his personal healing capacities, next level stuff, worth a look, peace and best wishes on your journey and with your business and family
Thank you! I am also a healer myself.
Much love and peace
I’ve been having dreams where my inner critic is telling me what they really think and I seem to be processing and letting go of those things.
The inner critic just wants to protect me and keep me safe. I don’t need that protection anymore. I feel safe with no longer being quiet. Saying what’s really on my mind from a heart centred and ethical standpoint.
The synergy of updated Seductress with SB is perfection. I might even consider adding micro loops of DD with this stack next cycle.
I recently mentioned how I was participating in a 3 week free beta course for conscious business acceleration. They decided to remove week 3 content and opened the week with a sales funnel stirring up and dividing half the community. I made an epic post that got many people sharing and liking the post. The moderators shut off comments and the admins removed my post the following day with a warning. That was my time to exit and rise! I have many new followers from that community and started a Facebook group with some of the former members.