#Metoo 
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I’m unintentionally hilarious at times. I may have at first been a bit concerned about losing interest in things I enjoy but I don’t see that happening. What I am losing interest in or becoming selectively apathetic about is shit that I would stress myself out over that 99 times out of a hundred had more to do with someone else’s insecurities or need to control. Or maybe they’re just being passive aggressive. Whatever the case I’m ok with eventually being able to shrug shit off and be nonchalant or indifferent. I have often felt that because of things like social media that we get programmed to care about shit that is absolutely meaninglessness. Is there a reason people know who the fucking Kardashians are? Does it really impact our lives. This scene from one of if not my favorite shows perfectly illustrates what I mean by being indifferent
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Exactly. More go with the flow and not get stressed out over dumb shit. I know far too many people that turn minor inconveniences into thinking the world is ending. Why base how your day is going on irrelevant or other people’s shit? It’s not worth the headaches or possible ulcers. In the time someone threw a tantrum or got upset the issue probably could have been resolved .
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Dude! Californication is my jam!! LOL. I know am using the phrase wrong but it feels so right.
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To reiterate I can definitely feel myself losing interest in things like binge watching shows , YouTube, and endlessly on the net. I don’t want someone telling me how I should be or thinking I have to be something I’m not. To a large extent this is what Regeneration and Elixir are helping me work on. To clear out all the unhealthy , toxic , and unhelpful beliefs and behaviors that have kept me from doing my own thing and living my life. It’s incredibly liberating to realize you are becoming less and less concerned with the shit other people say and do. I know a lot of people that are nowhere near close to being self aware. More like miles away. I think a lot of what I’m feeling currently is reconciliation .Today I learned that becoming more self aware often means keeping your mouth shut way more than you talk
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I’ve lost count of how many loops of Elixir I have done today. At least five and at least four loops of Regeneration. Feel ok right now just bored and not sure what I want to do. Letting Elixir and Regeneration do their work no matter how long it takes. I feel sometimes it’s ok you have no idea what you’re doing and that you’re still trying to figure shit out. Confidence and self assurance is cool and all but sometimes it’s either overwhelming or boring as fuck. In some ways it feels almost fake. Like people are trying to convince themselves they are confident more than anything else. I used to think I had to put on some sort of masculine image and now I realize how toxic that was. For myself and other people. Maybe it’s because I’m incredibly cynical and have trust issues that I feel like anyone who acts like they have it together is full of shit. You shouldn’t have to prove anything.
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lol bro why do you say confidence feels fake
do you think all confident ppl are convinced themselves
r u refering to fake confidence or do u think all confidence is fake confidence
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It’s a perception I have. I don’t think or feel that all confidence is fake but I do think a lot of people are really full of shit and display false bravado when they have no clue what they are doing and to hide their obvious flaws and insecurities
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It seems to me you’re well experienced if it comes to using Ultima. Please, kindly tell me, have you ever used one Utlima title for over 3-4 weeks and you still got the results? I’m curious since many people report they had results only for the first two weeks and then… next to nothing almost. I’m one of those people. Could you refer to it, please? Sorry for interrupting your thread.
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@Sub.Zero I have not stuck with just one Ultima for three to four weeks. I generally run Elixir but also run Executive at times as when needed but that may change since I plan to start working out either tomorrow or Thursday. As far as limited results I have no idea. I think it’s easy to get frustrated when you don’t see consistent results and not be aware of what’s going on below the surface. People often compare subliminals to going to the gym. It’s a fair analogy as someone goes to workout hopefully on a schedule or routine and they don’t see nor expect to see results every day but they still keep going. Same with therapy as another analogy. With that it can easily take years to see results but out of desire or habit folks still go.
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Empty vessels make the most noise.
Many who boast about their own knowledge and achievements are deeply insecure and are simply wanting to be taken seriously.
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Currently running RegenerationQ. A lot of my frustration right now as probably a combination of reconciliation but also with being incredibly tired of the unnecessary drama and headaches people seem to want to thrust upon me at the moment. I don’t have the patience for it. Especially when these same people are constantly criticizing me and my choices all while insinuating I should be more independent which I am making great strides at because I hate relying on or asking anyone for anything, yet at the same time they are the neediest people I know. I’m going to run Elixir for a few loops as well
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I’ve been running RegenerationQ for at least three or four loops today. I will probably run one loop of Elixir while I’m falling asleep.
I noticed something earlier this evening that has changed without me noticing right away. I do things and just get them done or handle inconveniences without letting it get to me. Tonight I made dinner for my Wife and I and while it was in the oven I got a spur up my ass and went outside in a tshirt and flannel pants and shoveled snow off the front steps and sidewalk of where we live. I just do what needs to be done. Before I would get upset and maybe get angry or throw a fit which is obviously not helpful or mature at all.
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Accidentally left my phone playing and my earbuds in last night when I fell asleep and woke up with Executive running. Oh well. Just works to reinforce getting shit done. Nothing wrong with that.
I think today I am just going to make a playlist of the three titles I run and just let it go.
I feel really good this morning although I wasn’t really feeling that great much of yesterday. Just often feel stuck and not sure what to do about it. I know I have to be patient which is something I am getting better at.The more I think about my post about fake confidence the more I realize it was just me being frustrated and done with thinking and feeling I had to be a certain way. To be more talkative and social than I felt comfortable with which is not a whole lot. It may shock some folks here but honestly I am more of an introvert. That becomes even more obvious as the healing process goes along. I feel like I acted out a lot or got angry because I either put myself or allowed myself to be put in situations I just wasn’t comfortable with. I tried to make myself be something I’m not. I have never understood people that want to draw attention to themselves or want to be in the spotlight.
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It’s really cool and at the same time notice changes without really thinking about or looking for it. I have said how I have lost interest in a lot of things. Am I depressed? Not at all. I just don’t see the point in wasting time or attention on irrelevant or meaningless things. If anything I’m always asking myself what can I do? How can I help out or make things easier and less stressful for myself and those around me? Not in a " nice guy " ass kissing sort of way but just simplifying things. What can be done before hand so it’s either out of the way and done or so maybe things go a bit more smoothly? Avoid unnecessary drama and headaches. I’m learning to put a lot of thought into everything I do and especially anything I spend money on.
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I feel sort of stuck trying to figure out what mental and emotional maturity is and how to achieve or grow into it. Maybe it’s something that isn’t completely obtainable. Maybe it’s a process that increases through life as you evolve as a person. I won’t say it comes with age because that’s simply not true. Unfortunately I know quite a few folks in their 60s and 70s who have the mental and emotional maturity of a toddler. For me I think the kicker is learning to be humble. Not in a weak passive way but not taking myself seriously at all. Self deprecating humor. Poking fun at myself but not in a poor me or pity me sort of way.
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Ran mostly Regeneration today and one loop of Elixir. I will probably run more loops of Elixir tomorrow. Feel good as I get ready for bed. Feeling my perspective , priorities, focus , and outlook change as the healing process continues. Learning to either avoid, ignore, or grey rock toxic people in my life. Definitely more about doing what I need to do for my Wife and I on my own and only asking for help if I have exhausted all other options.
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Woke up feeling decent this morning. No anxiety. Ran Regeneration while I fell asleep last night. I will run Elixir here in a while . Things are definitely changing but I remind myself to be patient and continue with this so it goes as deep as possible. I haven’t been keeping track of the number of days . I just know I plan on continuing this until I hit the point of diminishing returns. Every day feels different in a good way. Even if it’s only a fraction of a percentage of improvement that I’m not obviously aware of. I no longer wake up a basket case of stress and nerves. As of right now at least. I will probably run Executive a little more often to help push myself in the right direction to work on my goals though right now I have no clue how to get going on one of the two major goals I have. The first is working out which I will begin here in the next few days. The other is hard to explain. Best way to explain it is that I need to figure out how to either drastically improve or change the living situation my Wife and I are in. Hopefully sooner rather than later. There are people involved I just don’t trust and for good reason. Thankfully at least right now the thought of working towards that or figuring out a way doesn’t immediately fill me with anxiety and dread. I didn’t really realize how bad the anxiety I always felt was until I wasn’t feeling it all the time or not as often. It was incredibly paralyzing at times. Mentally and emotionally. I would just freeze up which is obviously very counterproductive to getting shit done let alone problem solving. That and other issues or problems I was having mentally and emotionally is the reason my Wife and I are in this situation currently. This is entirely my fault and responsibility. I became almost disturbingly good at avoidance. Anything that triggered anxiety and especially cause me to freeze up I did everything to avoid. Instead of just dealing with things I let things build until there was no way of resolving anything. It was too late. It created more headaches and anxiety avoiding it than it would have had I just worked through and dealt with it. I obviously wasn’t anywhere near mature enough to realize that at the time. Instead I just let myself get lost in stupid shit like video games and social media. Creating even more unnecessary headaches , drama, and anxiety for myself. More later
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Just running my first loop of Regeneration. It’s been sort of a hectic day so far but I got some work related things figured out. In the process I was once again reminded how important becoming mentally and emotionally healthy and mature is to me. A lot of time being wasted on repetitive things when just letting something go and moving on would obviously be far more beneficial and productive.
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I decided tonight that starting tomorrow along with however many loops I get in of Regeneration I am going to run two loops each of Elixir and Executive. I’m currently running a loop of Elixir and will probably run one more before bed. Today was a bit of a crazy day especially this morning. I did feel my patience slipping a bit about an hour ago but was able to reign it in. With the combination of Elixir and Executive I am able to be productive and do what needs to be done without any hesitation or apprehension. Just do it and get it done.
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