I am about to start a Journal for running Beyond Limitless Ultima solo and I’m curious as to what area to post it in? Major Programs?
Good question. Post it there, I will ask Saint in the meantime. If he comes up with a new category, we’ll move it for you after. Thanks for asking.
Ran two loops today of Beyond Limitless Ultima. Not back to back. At least an hour between if not more. As @friday stated in his Journal , " new insights and out of the box thinking “. Definitely random “aha” moments along with a metric fuck ton of " what was I thinking?”, " why did I think this was ok?" , and " why in the fuck didn’t I just keep my mouth shut, walk away, just do my job and go home , or just fuck off all together?" . I refuse to live with that regret going forward and as time goes by incorporate more analysis into what choices I make going forward.
Over the last few years I have read multiple articles that talk about the traits or characteristics of a " Sigma Male" . For me more than any other SubClub audio this is their Sigma Male program. That’s after running it for two or three days
I received the bone conduction headphones and I am currently running one loop. I may run one more later tand then do as @SaintSovereign suggested and take tomorrow off and not run anything until Saturday.
I had to fight myself hard not to run anything after running a second loop of Beyond Limitless Ultima. Sticking with this solo for the time being. Both loops today were with the Aftershokz bone conduction headphones I received today. Still dealing with a lot of reconciliation in the form of boredom and agitation.
I woke up this morning feeling far less anxious or stressed than I have in a long time. I have come to realize that a lot of what I was anxious about was me repeatedly asking myself questions that would trigger anxiety. Now I am rapidly learning to stop myself and switch my focus. I now understand that a lot if not all of my anxiety or emotional outbursts have been my past inability to stop and think about things before acting, responding, or replying. I can now save myself a lot of in the moment and future headaches and stress by now doing what I didn’t previously. That and I have learned that very often things will never be or escalate to what I often imagine the worst case scenario to be or become if that makes sense? This new insight will potentially allow me to become more patient and avoid misunderstandings with the people around me.
So, should I put this in the journals category now?
What do keep removing your posts for?
I was wondering the same thing lol, he does it a lot too
Didn’t say what I wanted to after I re read it and didn’t feel like editing
I’m also dealing with a lot of reconciliation so that is part of it as well. Lame excuse I know
It’s really not an excuse to be honest, I believe it is a valid reason. Look on the bright side, you’re actually aware of what’s causing it. Which makes you able to react accordingly, perhaps take a break from subliminal’s for a few days.
I was kind of upset to see you get a Terminus² Custom by the way, because I honestly knew it was out of reconciliation, and it wasn’t going to do you any good. Anyhow, it’s not up to me to force you do act in any way and I hope that eventually you just find your way. I really just want to help.
@Hermit I’m upset with myself for getting the T2 custom as well. All three of my customs to be honest. I wish now I wouldn’t have jumped the gun and put way more thought and refinement into one single custom that is Q level. I don’t think I’m anywhere near close to getting anything from Terminus and especially T2.
I keep thinking or believing for whatever reason I can just power through and do whatever but that obviously isn’t the case. It’s sort of frustrating and very humbling at the same time to admit that you have a lot to work on and force yourself to be patient while the work gets done.
I remember seeing where @SaintSovereign posted a fear of death. I may be paraphrasing here. My biggest fear is that I will sacrifice the time it takes to resolve my issues and trauma and then my life will be over. Meaning it will take a long time. I guess in order to grow I have to on some level at least accept that
The level of introspection that I see from this post says to me otherwise. Usually, you’d introspect and delete it almost immediately. I see someone who is digging exceptionally deep and not allowing the pain of facing their flaws to derail them. Just cut back on your usage of T2 to once a week to really “hit deep” and use the other customs to hit the more surface level stuff.
@SaintSovereign Run the T2 custom on opposite days of the Q customs? What about the Ultima audios? Should I drop Beyond Limitless Ultima?
I should say follow his advice, run Terminus² once a week then run whatever you’d like from your Customs on everyday, take a break whenever you feel reconciliation. Your first Customs looked like a pretty good one, you should of stuck to it, the big changes are always in the long run.
Currently running Beyond Limitless Ultima then I will run my two Q customs with breaks between all three obviously. I ran two loops of my T2 custom yesterday and per the advice of @SaintSovereign I will run the T2 once a week. Forcing myself to stick to a listening schedule and no longer be all over the place or switching constantly. Working on being as patient as possible and understand on an intellectual and emotional level that this will take time. How long? I have no idea. All I know right now is that I desperately want to work on and resolve the issues that got me where I am currently and make damn sure I am never in a situation like this ever again.
Trying to figure out why it is when I decide to do deep inner work I am constantly floating between introspection, self awareness, and existentialism?
Running two more loops each today of my Q customs then done for the day. Feeling a bit better than I have the last couple of days but still a bit anxious. I try to remind myself to be patient and not push things , give up, or switch . More than anything at this point in my life I need to work on healing myself and be as mentally and emotionally healthy as possible. It’s sort of weird to think that at 52 years old I don’t feel anywhere near close to feeling more mature outside of obvious age related things. I am though aware of how I could have saved myself a lot of stress and headaches in the past. It just seems strange or not right in some way that it’s taken me this long to learn . I know everyone is different but jeeze .
It also dawned on me today that some of my ways of doing things just isn’t for me and I have to do what’s right and doesn’t feel forced or not who I am. I think a lot of that introspection comes from the Attachment Destroyer and Rogue modules in my customs. I ask myself why I did something or continue to do something knowing full well I will regret it or that it will make me miserable.