What you said reminds me the saying blessing in disguise and it shifts my perspective in a way. It feels better knowing things happened the way they happened because of zero point creating a new reality and persona for me. 
This means the subs are working fine and even though I couldn’t understand it I am actually doing better little by little. 
I feel like Khan is leaking in your post; there are reliance and assurance. The way you understand women is astute.
I sometimes overthink and take things too seriously. It is right that I need to loosen up and let levity in 
Bro. I didn’t even think about that and you got me lol. Yes. Had run Khan yesterday.
Recon reared its head. I mean it has been with me for the past few weeks but before it was external triggered and now it’s the standard sub recon.
Had thoughts of dropping the custom. Considered buying random store titles. Had mood swings, one moment confident, next anxious, though the oscillation wasn’t too violent.
It’s still too early for me to tell how the custom is working, stacking it with LD might slow down the absorption (or LD speeded up the absorption since the recon happened relatively early with three listenings).
Having said that just like the previous custom, during meditation, certain modules stood out more than others, e.g. without consciously calling them, these modules just came to the front stage.
It seems healing modules indeed tend to take priority in a custom. I said this because the previous custom and the current custom share seven non healing modules, but the modules that stood out this round were taking a very backseat previously; not once any of them popped out in meditation (except Omnidimensional but it never took front stage, I simply felt its efforts).
My usual tactic for recon is simply take a washout. Yet I am thinking maybe push it a little further by having another listening or two, and see how it goes.
Dreamt of a friend that I haven’t seen nor contacted for years. In fact throughout the years I dreamt of her far more than other friends and exes.
If I am honest at one point the thought of us being together did cross my mind. Cheesy it might sound but She caught my eyes out months before we even knew each other. The funny thing was I didn’t realize she was the girl who caught my eyes for a long time. Just completely forgot about that. It was one day out of the nowhere it clicked and I finally remembered.
Looking back she was not the typical gold digger, you know those who say they love you for you when in fact they love only your money. She kept saying she wanted to marry rich and had eyes only for the wealthy and did put efforts into it but her focus didn’t match her “ambition”.
Yes she shared with me the kinds of sport cars the guys she hanged out with, the family backgrounds of those guys and how she wanted to live such lifestyle, but there was a lack of enthusiasm in her words. Unlike when she talked about the books, the food, the music she liked. And for someone so seemingly materialistic she certainly focused on many irrelevant factors.
Time gives us perspective. Hindsight is 20/20. But when she asked me out when I broke up with my ex, told me she’s a good match for me and I’d be happy with her, I was confused, triggered and reactive. As a friend I was comfortable around her but as a potential boyfriend I was blinded by my insecurities, replied and acted against good judgement.
Anyways this happened a long time ago and as said we are strangers now. I think when I dreamt of her, it’s no longer about her, she was a symbol of something, maybe a missing chance, maybe an ideal of girlfriend, or maybe something else entirely. If they were a suggestion for me to look her up for closure or whatever (which I don’t believe it is), I refuse to go along, at least not as I am.
Feel like I should write down the modules that frequently stood out during meditation to give them a proper acknowledgment. They are Ascension, Furious Ascent, Fenrir, Last Stand.
Out of them I look forward to the expression or manifestation of Ascension the most. The alpha-ness, the inner strength, the assurance, I need them all. I believe in Ascension is able to offer these qualities hence dropped Lion IV and Iron Frame in this custom (also because they didn’t work in the previous custom though now I realized it was likely because of healing modules taking precedence).
Once again for the reason I noted before I found the custom not compatible with LBFH. Sometimes it is what it is, like how one finds certain color or design doesn’t go well with another.
It’s okay, unless otherwise inspired, I am thinking to focus on the custom solo to maximize the impact it has on me.
Had a dream that pretty much touched on many of my weaknesses and insecurities. Can’t recall the whole dream, just fragments. The bottom line is that dream was so uncomfortable/awkward/embarrassing that it woke me up.
Probably due the lingering feelings from the dream, everything I read, I hear, I reason is through pessimistic lens; have this “what’s the point” mentality with me.
Feel like dropping all subs for once for all. Also feel like stopping meditation. Basically stop all things related to self betterment.
This is recon I know. Will down a whole lot of water and gonna get myself some dessert.
Some members here prefer to tell the subconscious what they want (conscious guidance) so that it molds to their preferences. I on the other hand prefer to ask subconscious to guide/inspire me instead.
The difference lies in they have a clear goal in mind while I on the other hand am okay with any goal as long as it is right for me.
The thought of associating the custom with Batman, and LBFH + Emperor with Superman came to me during meditation.
Batman assumes the worst of people and situations, he has forethought, plan B, C and D, and they go accordingly, he is able to act on the spot with excellent tactics. His effort is intangible (in the mind).
Superman is trusting and hopeful, he is fearless in a carefree way, he is reactive, he is/his way is straightforward and one track. His way is tangible (constant labor).
On one hand the custom provides me a sense of security with the calculation, the crashing spirit. Through it I can even relate to the two identities of Bruce Wayne and Batman (being liked by others while they don’t even know who I am or how I feel deep down).
On the other hand I long for the carefree, loving mentality of LBFH. I don’t wanna see life as hostile. Like Emperor, deep down I prefer simple things. I have a honest ethics and am completely alright with all work and no play.
@Malkuth where can I check my natal status?
I want you to guide me to the subs that will fit me the most.
That site’ll give you what you need.
This site is to complicated, I can’t understand the results.
Enter your birth data. When the next page loaded, you can first check out “Extended Chart Selection” which gives you a basic reading. From there (and “Chart Drawing, Ascendant) you can search for deeper meaning of each planet/sign/house/combination. Having said this, this will still be quite basic.
Hope you get what you look for.
That is normal since you’re just learning about it for the first time.
Were you able to see how to enter your birth data and generate your natal chart? You’ll need your precise time and city of birth. May need to ask your family member if you do not have your birth certificate.
Also, before you go any further, remember this:
Nothing you can learn from astrology is a substitute for learning from your own experience or for applying your own good sense.
If you eat a bowl of spaghetti, and you like it. Then that means, “You like spaghetti”. It doesn’t matter what an astrology report says.
I know you’re probably looking for answers or solutions, and, over the years, you will find many possible answers. Some will be long-lasting and some will be temporary.
But in addition to seeking answers and directions, also seek this: the strength and the confidence in yourself to live well with the questions.
As this sense of your strength continues to grow, your desperation to answer these questions will decrease and disappear. You will still have the desire to learn and you will still find pleasure from learning, but it will not be as fueled by fear and desperation. This is the natural human cycle of gaining wisdom. We’re all doing it. (And it goes through cycles. Sometimes the fear goes up, other times it goes down. Depends what we’re facing at the moment.)
I’m not telling you this because I think you are paralyzed by fear. It’s just the kind of thing I would have needed to hear (and still do need sometimes).
Okay, now back to your regularly scheduled astrology learning.
By the way, this is Chase’s journal. You should do this on your own journal. Let’s move the discussion over there.
You are welcome to my journal I actually need a mentor at this moment.
Yeah I entered my name and birth
day after that it showed my something in circular confusing nature with things like Leo, Scorpio in them.
Experiment a new listening schedule for this cycle. Apart from a very short period at the beginning of Zero Point, I always cut down the listening time, e.g. lots of rest days, 3/5/7 mins. Yet lately I wondered what the other side look like.
Day 1 - 5 mins custom
Day 2 - 15 mins each custom and LD
Day 3 - Rest
Repeat.
I hardly control or call for or imagine specifically during meditation, I just let thoughts come to me (except negative memories/imagination, these I have to stop them).
Lots of storytelling and mental pictures when I was meditating/listening to both subs. The modules were personified, LD was turned into weapons/tools. Strong euphoric feeling.
Physically I am okay, no headache, no tiredness. Emotionally and mentally so far alright. Basically nothing stood out apart from the above, though I am aware this is too early to make a meaningful observation.
Lol spoke too soon. The recon compounds. I had very depressing thoughts. The “what’s the point” feeling was overwhelming.
The only reason I am acting light is because I told my mind it’ll have a long washout, more than two weeks or as long as it likes, and that somewhat pacifies it.
Full loop with two subs including custom that is to me still quite new, plus didn’t take rest day; the previous day listened to custom too.
How long are you using that Custom?
What seems to work for me is introducing a new program and going from 3, 5, 7, 15 min within a month.