I feel that you are right.
I’ve disliked working at my previous job for so long, and all the negativity that came with it may have been the cause of it all. Now that I’ve left, i feel that things are coming together now.
I feel that you are right.
I’ve disliked working at my previous job for so long, and all the negativity that came with it may have been the cause of it all. Now that I’ve left, i feel that things are coming together now.
DR ST3 DAY29
Today I went with:
So with all the Qv2’s coming out, I’ve decided to try using the latest versions for my stack. Either v2 is too much, or I just lack sleep, but I felt tired today.
And even though I was tired, I still feel that I was able to work on something today. And somehow, I feel that it is going to be appreciated at work. I really missed feeling this at my previous job. To feel like I’m doing something meaningful and worthwhile, which in turn also makes me feel appreciated. It’s like dopamine I guess.
And now, even if it’s very late at night, I just finished typing an email to my boss. And to top it off, I’m not even feeling like complaining, or like it’s a chore to email my boss.
How about:
DR ST3 Qv2 x1 for five days a week
LimitlessQv2 x1 for five days a week
Ascended Mogul Qv2 x1 for three days a week
Limitless Executive Ultima v2 x1 for three days a week
Maybe once I feel it’s too much. But as I mentioned before, I’m really stubborn. It’s still difficult for me to actually cut down the number of loops.
DR ST3 DAY30
Today I went with:
So today didn’t go really well. I just couldn’t get what I was working on to work properly. Not really sure what to make of it. Spent the whole day trying to figure things out, but still to no avail.
And yet, I still feel encouraged to try. Unlike before, I actually emailed my boss about the issues I’ve been having. Not sure why, but I feel that I could be openly honest and tell him what I’m facing. Before, I’d just keep shut and just tell my previous boss the issue if and only if he asks.
Oh well. Hopefully, tomorrow gets better. I’m out of ideas and I still have a very early morning meeting. Probably will take a rest day from subs because of this.
DR ST3 DAY31
So today was a rest day. I simply had too many meetings, I didn’t have time to play any sub. And yet, I still feel something going on.
I woke up very early because of an early morning meeting. When I logged in, the meeting was moved to 3 hours later. Went back to sleep as the kids didn’t have school due to break.
Woke up an hour later and prepared the kids’ breakfast. Had coffee while preparing for the meeting. 1st meeting of the day went well.
2nd meeting was moved because only the organizer and I were present. Not sure why, but I just spent my time reading documents.
3rd meeting was rather informative. Learned a lot and felt good that I joined. Was actually planning on not joining, but decided to attend instead. Good thing I did too.
Funny thing though. With all the rescheduling wasted time, normally it would have riled me up. Today, I felt rather un-affected. Could be DR?
Turns out the issue I was working on yesterday couldn’t simply be solved from our end. It was an issue with the vendor. Again, I normally would have been very much affected, but I wasn’t. DR again? Or maybe a touch of Limitless and LEU as I was able to point out to my boss and explain what needed to be done from the vendor’s end? Both?
I’m very familiar with this un-feeling.
I’d guess both.
DR ST3 DAY32
Today I went with:
Although I had moments of anger popping up during the morning, I actually felt calmer as the day went by.
I seem to be coming up with new ideas today. My boss seems to like them. I just wish I could get myself to actually write the whole damned proposal document so that I could be able to fully explain all of them, and not just some bits and pieces.
For the past few days, I’ve felt rather playful. In fact, I even shot some hoops with my kids after dinner. Normally, I’d either be on my phone, or taking a nap during that time. But lately, I just wanted to play with my kids. Either it’s my way of getting some exercise (as I haven’t been able to workout lately), or I just felt the pull to play with them. Either way, we all had a good time doing so, and I guess that’s what really counts.
DR ST3 DAY33
Today I went with:
Been experiencing some work-related reconciliation. Not sure exactly if it’s really reconciliation, or maybe because of burn-out. A part of me feels that I’ve been pushing myself a little too much since I started my new job.
Home/family doesn’t really seem to be affected. Shot some hoops again with my kids. And at the same time, I don’t think I got really mad today.
Still need to work on that report though. Not really sure how or where to start.
DR ST3 DAY34
Rest day. Relatively quiet. Nothing much to report. Feel like temper and anger have been in check lately.
Kids have been relatively behaved. So maybe that helped.
Was not actively thinking of work. Yet ideas still keep popping up.
DR ST3 DAY35
Another rest day. Been experiencing bouts of reconciliation and anger. Maybe it’s because until now I can’t seem to write my project proposal. I told my boss I’d submit before Monday morning, and yet, until now, I only came up with the project name.
Been feeling a bit hard to compile my thoughts and put them into written words. Maybe that’s why I’m getting easily mad.
DR ST3 DAY36
Today I went with:
So last night, I was able to give a draft of the project “proposal” to my boss. When I woke up this morning, I was suddenly thrust into heading this project. I mean, it was just a proposal with a lot of holes and unknowns! Not to mention, there is a lot of risk to it, if not planned properly.
So yeah, I suddenly felt a very big burden dropped on to my shoulders. Thing is, right now, I’m finding it very hard to put into writing (both written reports/documents and diagrams and charts) what’s going on inside my head. Somehow, I feel that everything I place on paper should be perfect. I keep revising and I seem to never be satisfied with what I’ve done. Often, I feel that it’s time to send the document when I no longer have the energy to revise or when there’s no more time.
On the home front, I feel that I’m bonding a lot more with my kids these days. Although I still get mad (I mean, if your kid doesn’t want to eat his vegetables, but insists he’s still hungry for sweets, I guess any parent would too), I somehow feel that the intensity is somewhat lower. In addition, I feel that my kids are actually growing closer to me. I do hope this continues.
DR ST3 DAY37
Today I went with:
Bouts of anger and reconciliation have been popping up lately. Although they weren’t as “intense” as before, but seems that my wife notices it when I start to feel angry somehow. At least she was there to point it out.
Went to bed past midnight last night, but still managed to wake up early. Maybe that’s also part of why I’m feeling grumpy lately. And tomorrow, I’ve got a couple of meetings in the morning and then need to take one of my kids to the dentist.
Thing is, even if I wanted to sleep early tonight, I still feel “compelled” to work. Ideas regarding my projects seem to be popping up, and I feel that I should work on them else I forget them, or the “inspiration” leaves me.
What you’re describing reminds me of these two modules:
Machine:Rest
Machine: Rest is a great complement to Machine: Action, in that it focuses on optimizing your relaxation breaks and makes your breaks guilt free, while resting in such a way that you become even more effective, efficient and productive overall. With Machine: Rest, you will optimize your days’ breaks so that you rest easily and productively.
Machine:Action
There are numerous distractions in our day-to-day lives. Machine: Action optimizes your whole day so that you remove distractions and time wasting activities, and instead use it to focus on what truly matters to you. You will find your desire for empty activity lessening, and your motivation to create and work increasing more and more.
Well, I was more so thinking of Machine:Rest. It seems that you’re already somewhat in Machine:Action mode even without the subliminal.
I’d have to agree with you on that.
DR ST3 DAY38
Rest day from subs. But not really a rest day for me. Early morning meetings. Both meetings went well. I was actually able to impress them with what I’ve been doing so far.
Had to bring my kid to the dentist shortly before noon. So by afternoon, I was feeling really tired. Had to take a nap.
Not sure if it’s because of the fact that I took a nap, that I was really easily angered come evening. It all boiled over and I got really mad for a few small things my kids were doing. I really regret having lost my temper.
Somehow, I feel that maybe it would be best if I just bury myself in my work? But then, wouldn’t that just alienate me from my family?
I sympathize with these questions.
Rather than think about that, how about this: I’ve mentioned reducing the number of loops you do. What if you ran DR for three times a week at 1 loop a day (so 3 times a week total), and notice what happens?
Maybe. I’ll think about it. Thanks for the suggestion.
DR ST3 DAY39
Today I went with:
Was supposed to have AM run twice and limitless once only, but I guess I forgot. Not really sure why though. Maybe because all of a sudden, I felt what I was looking for in my past job. Recognition…
My boss, keeps telling me how good I’ve been doing. In fact, even the CTO and CEO of our company has an idea of it. I feel both grateful for having been given this opportunity to be known for my small contributions, and yet, I also feel some weight because of it.
So maybe, I felt that I needed more mental creativity and processing rather than wealth and alpha-ness? I’m not sure really. But somehow, I feel that better things are on the rise. And for that, I’m really grateful.
DR ST3 DAY41
Was not able to update yesterday. Had a lot of errands to do and by the time it was night, all I wanted was to just binge watch. Only remembered I hadn’t updated my journal, when the wife called me to bed.
Today was a rest day from subs. Though I had to wake up early as it was my turn to prepare the kids’ breakfast, and I had an appointment to get my shot. Had to wait in line for about an hour, but at least the line was moving.
Not sure if it’s reconciliation, lack of sleep, the shot, any combination of the them, or all of the above. But I felt tired and lazy today.
Oh well… At least I can sleep in tomorrow.