To Shayul Ghul and Back

Journals - Major Programs
#401

DR ST3 DAY42

Another rest day from subs. Was supposed to wake up past 11, but was already awake before 10. My head was throbbing and even if I tried to sleep, the headache was only making it worse. I heard from other people that this may be a side-effect of getting the vaccine.

Not sure if it’s the headache or reconciliation, but I felt lots of anger and frustration today. It’s very hard to keep calm when your head is already throbbing and the kids are not behaving.

So tomorrow I’ve got an early morning meeting. Hopefully, I would feel better.

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#402

DR ST3 DAY43

Today I went with:

  • DR ST3 Qv2 x2
  • LimitlessQv2 x2
  • Ascended Mogul Qv2 x1
  • Limitless Executive Ultima v2 x1

Although I had an early morning meeting, I somehow still feel fine. Slight headache in the morning, but after a couple of Advils, they’re gone. I’m thinking it may be one of the side-effects of getting the vaccine.

In any case, I got a little work done. Though some bouts of anger. I’m just thinking it may be because of my lack of sleep. Got to play with my kids a bit.

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#403

DR ST3 DAY44

Today I went with:

  • DR ST3 Qv2 x2
  • LimitlessQv2 x2
  • Ascended Mogul Qv2 x1
  • Limitless Executive Ultima v2 x1

Feeling of laziness and worry throughout the day. Somehow, I feel that my once simple project has grown exponentially complex. A lot of factors have suddenly cropped up and needed to be considered prior to moving on with the project.

In addition to that, I have ordered for materials and services to repair the flooring caused by the leaking dishwasher. Unfortunately, all of the existing flooring needed to be replaced since we couldn’t find the same laminate material and we wanted something more waterproof. On top of that, the order was placed last month. It is only going to be delivered tomorrow, and the work would be done next week. The thing that makes me worry is that the store hired contractors who had bad reviews.

Maybe I’m overthinking all of this. I hope I’m just overthinking this.

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#404

DR ST3 DAY45

Rest day. Had 4 meetings today. The first started very early.

Delivery for the flooring materials arrived midway my second meeting. I had to apologize to my colleagues for dropping off the call.

3rd and 4th meeting happened shortly after lunch time, 1 after the other.

Feel both excited and terrified about all the tasks I have to do.

And yet, I suddenly went down with a cold. I don’t know if the dust from the materials triggered it or because of lack of sleep, or something else. I just started sneezing and my nose felt like a leaking faucet. I took cold medicine, but it only made me sleepy. I actually took 2 naps today. 1 before lunch, and the 2nd after my last meeting.

Because of all the time spent on meetings and napping, I have yet to come up with a tangible deliverable.

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#405

DR ST3 DAY46

Today I went with:

  • DR ST3 Qv2 x2
  • LimitlessQv2 x1
  • Ascended Mogul Qv2 x2
  • Limitless Executive Ultima v2 x1

Even though I’ve still got a slight cold, and still lack sleep, I was surprisingly able to stay awake the whole day. In fact, I was able to work on my office project most of the day. So I guess productivity is good.

Yet I still feel some reconciliation popping up every so often. Maybe that’s why I opted to keep working. That way, I could keep my mind focus on the task at hand and not be distracted.

So I just found out that someone I knew from college just died recently. I don’t know why I’m so sad about it. I mean, it’s been years since I last talked to him, and the last time I saw him, we barely even talked. So why am I feeling so down? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because even if it’s been a long time, we still bonded somewhat? Or maybe because lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of people dying? Mainly parents, uncles and grandparents of people I knew. So much death? Or maybe because it’s like a wake-up call to my own mortality? I really don’t know.

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#406

Hang in there man!

DR gives ups and downs. It’s taken about 4 months, but now for me the Dragon is flying with a lot less turbulence.

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#407

Sounds like the V2 upgrade is helping with that, wait so whats you plans after completing Drahon Reborn?

#408

I plan on running it regularly forever.

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#409

DR ST3 DAY47

Today I went with:

  • DR ST3 Qv2 x2
  • LimitlessQv2 x1
  • Ascended Mogul Qv2 x2
  • Limitless Executive Ultima v2 x1

Woke up to find a message on facebook about my dead friend. Turns out there was a zoom meeting as sort of a eulogy for him. However, due to different time zones, it was not possible for me to join. Made me a bit sad.

Was able to finish my tasks quickly today. Though there’s still a lot needed to be done.

As usual, my wife wants to buy a lot of stuff all at once. But given that I can’t buy all of them even needed, wife’s a bit antsy. Am trying so hard to remain calm about it. But patience is a virtue.

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#410

It definitely is, hang in there

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#411

DR ST3 DAY48

Rest day. Somehow I feel that I accomplished a lot today. We went “grocery shopping”, and by that I mean, the kids and I stayed in the car while my wife went to the grocery store.

After an early dinner, we started moving the furniture in the living room to the upstairs loft area. We are trying to make things faster and easier for the contractors who will be coming in to do the flooring on Monday.

There were times wherein I feel that my wife and kids were really testing me today. It’s like they really want me to get mad. Especially the kids. Doing the exact opposite of what I asked them to do.

And yet, I also felt that I could control this anger somehow. It’s a bit difficult to explain. But when I felt anger, it was like something clicked inside of me. The feeling wherein I had a choice. A choice to let the anger flow and keep “escalating” it, while also a choice wherein I can stop and let my feeling subside somewhat. DR maybe?

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#412

DR ST3 DAY49

Rest day. Somehow, I feel that reconciliation is stronger today. Either that or I’m starting to lack patience.

Lot of shouting coming from me. Especially when the kids are not behaving. but then, kids don’t really behave much.

So living room is now bare and the dining room is left with the dining table only. Hopefully this is going to make the flooring repair faster.

And yet, I’m still feeling this sense of dread. I hope it turns out well.

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#413

DR ST3 DAY50

Today I went with:

  • DR ST3 Qv2 x2
  • LimitlessQv2 x2
  • Ascended Mogul Qv2 x1
  • Commander Ultima v2 x1

I decided to switch Limitless Executive with Commander because initially, I thought I needed the aura of Commander given that I would be talking to contractors working on repairing my flooring today. Not sure if it was a right call though. I mean, I felt the respect when the guy came in and until he left. In fact, somehow, I felt that if I didn’t suggest that he take a break, he would have went ahead with repairs the whole day.

And yet, there’s also a lot of reconciliation. Not sure if it’s because it’s a bit contradictory to my “normal” nature. I mean, I’m normally not that assertive and never thought of myself as a “commander”. Add to the fact that I’ve noticed that I’m getting a lot easier to get mad today. So not sure really. Maybe I’ll keep using Commander for another day.

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#414

DR ST3 DAY51

Today I went with:

  • DR ST3 Qv2 x2
  • LimitlessQv2 x2
  • Ascended Mogul Qv2 x1
  • Commander Ultima v2 x1

Wife seems to be getting easily pissed off at me for whatever reason. I’m not sure if it’s just the time of month, or maybe it’s my aura that’s putting her off. With Commander, I may be lighting up a different kind of aura she’s not used to. I don’t know.

As for work, I feel I’m making progress with the project I’m working on. Hopefully it goes well.

Wife and kids seem to like what’s going on with the floor. Just one more day and it should be finished.

And yet, I’m not sure if it’s reconciliation also. But there’s been some times today wherein I feel anger and frustration popping up. This is especially true when I need to abruptly stop what I’m doing just to look at something different.

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#415

I know I’ve presented this before, but I’ll present it again. I wonder if taking more rest days might help with reducing anger.

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#416

You know me. I’m very stubborn this way. Lol…

#417

DR ST3 DAY52

Today I went with:

  • DR ST3 Qv2 x2
  • LimitlessQv2 x1
  • Ascended Mogul Qv2 x1
  • Commander Ultima v2 x1

Looks like I finished the first part of my project. Hopefully it gets approved so that we can deploy it soon. Over a month in this job, I still feel good about this job.

So the flooring project is almost done. Will be done by tomorrow. Wife is more than excited. Keeps pestering me if she could start polishing the floor and all that. But knowing that there’s still some work needed to be done, it’s still going to get a bit dirty. So might as well have her wait a little longer.

Somehow, I actually feel calmer and less angry. Maybe it’s just me acclimating to Commander? Or maybe because the wife and kids have started to “accept” my aura? Maybe initially it’s because some people tend to challenge authority. But after some time, they start to realize and accept that fact.

Been having some pain on my side and back. Been feeling bad since Sunday night. Maybe it’s because of all the heavy lifting we did to move the furniture. I may switch Commander with Paragon tomorrow.

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#418

Sound like some nice updates you used commander before?

#419

A couple of times. But not more than 3 consecutive days at a time.

#420

DR ST3 DAY53

Today I went with:

  • DR ST3 Qv2 x2
  • LimitlessQv2 x1
  • Ascended Mogul Qv2 x2
  • Paragon Complete Ultima v2 x2

Decided to have 2 loops of Paragon Complete today. Back and side were very stiff when I woke up. It was also painful when touched, or when I had to stretch or lift. I feel that Paragon helped alleviate the pain somewhat. It’s now like a nagging feeling. Not so much painful, but I still feel a stiffness to the area.

So the floor turned out ok. Hopefully it lasts. Wife really is very excitable. She couldn’t control herself and went right ahead cleaning the floor and such. And then even if she knew that my back was painful, she still decided to go ahead and put back all the furniture.

Am really grumpy because of that. I mean. Even though she said for me to rest, it’s like there’s a double meaning to it. Also, it’s very difficult to rest, when because of her excitability, the kids were “infected” by it, making so much noise and ruckus.

As for work, my boss seems to like what I’ve been doing. Am very excited to see what happens once we deploy the initial phases of our work.

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