Its been four days with incredibly high sexual energy and libido.
Today I feel great.
No sex, no Masturbation… In fact I tried a couple of times, but got bored pretty quickly and stopped.
3 Likes
Today is rest day.
Since I started listening my whole stack 1x each title, every other day, I decided to do my yoga practice every other day too. Of course on the same day I listen to my stack… for simplicity.
What Ive noticed since Ive changed my listening schedule:
- My sexual energy and libido are at a constant hightened state, If I engage in physical activity that energy is used for that.
- Dreams keeps getting more abundant, more vivid and weirder.
- Im craving for intimacy, touch and company… Ive spent all week by myself. I dont feel lonely nor desperate at all… I joyfully anticipate the moments of loving company I will have.
- I moved from a sex based focus to a wider loving focus, which sex is a part of.
5 Likes
Today listening schedule:
1x The Wizard
1x Ardhanarishvara
1x GOD
Well… now its day 5 with really high levels of sexual energy and libido… it keeps getting stronger. Masturbation is out of the question, I just cant find pleasure in it.
I wont be having sex until probably thursday.
3 Likes
Yesterday in my day off I got waves of fear, jealously and sadness dispersed during the day… Of course I did my emotional cleansing routine to let all the “bad spirits” leave my body for good.
It was an interesting experience of self knowledge and the next step into forging myself as The Wizard.
5 Likes
Wow… 5 weeks in with The Wizard and God already… time flies. Tomorrow its gonna be 3 weeks with Ardhanarishvara.
Its pretty amazing, I remember the times when the idea of doing a sub for a whole month seemed to me like such a hard commitment 
All the desire to change titles on the one hand… and the feeling that one month was too long on the other.
2 Likes
Rest day today…
Tomorrow Im listening to my stack and then rest till next monday, since Im gonna take a little trip to the beach.
Had my usual share of weird, vivid, symbolic dreams last night, including some really sexual ones. I woke up feeling overloaded.
2 Likes
Todays schedule:
1x The Wizard
1x Ardhanarishvara
Ive just finished listening to Ardhanarishvara and Im already feeling a strong libido and sexual energy flowing.
Im doing The Wizard right now, which is making it stronger.
After that Im doing my yoga routine and Im going to the beach till sunday, thats way Im not doing GOD today… I dont wanna feel productive or think about work, Ive already taken care of things so I can have a proper vacation.
On monday I will resume subs.
4 Likes
Its officially been a whole week feeling really aroused and sexual, no sex nor masturbation during the whole week.
Just letting myself get used to operate in such a hightened sexual state and exude it.
Today Im going to the beach so Im gonna have lots of sex, its gonna be the perfect context to test the differences and how my subs continues to work their magick.
3 Likes
Do you find one day for processing every other day to be enough or you feel that more processing days could be more beneficial?
What I noticed is that on processing days I feel less energetic and I’m prone to recon whilst on input days I’m full of energy and there’s no way to get any recon. And that state of affairs change only after I run my stack. Before I used to devote two days to the processing and it was the same: less energy and I was more prone to get recon.
How do you think/feel?
2 Likes
For now listening every other day seems to be working fine, listening day I feel a little overloaded and have lots of dreams, the rest day I feel overloaded and have lots of dreams. On day 3 I feel good and resume listening.
That could indicate the need for more rest days, yes, but also that my stack is a little heavy, anyways it hasnt been too long to really tell, since I didnt listen to subs during my vacations (6 days) so Im not really used to this new listening schedule.
I dont feel quite good at the moment, some mixed results and a lot of resistance… not feeling very motivated to do anything really.
2 Likes
I’m going with the same protocol running all my four subs one loop each and it works great so far. The best thing about this protocol is you can have one (or more rest days) when required if not just stick to the protocol.
2 Likes
Im considering pausing my stack and going for Alchemist st1 Qv2 and DR st1 Qv2. The thing is Ive been feeling really sick and depressed for the last 4 days and i know it could be recon, but it could be something else too.
I drunk lots of alcohol during my vacations and it had a huge impact in my body and emotional well being, I feel depressed, guilty and physically sick.
I feel Im hurting… so whether I wanna change stacks due to recon or because Im hurting or both, its uncertain at the moment. I just dont care about anything at this point. Ive been in bed the last three days, I dont want to work.
1 Like
If I do change the stack DR st4 and Elixir Ultima seems like a better choice.
Anyway, I did some regressive work or at least that was the plan, but what happened kind of surprised me… While in trance my mind took me to the future, to my death. What was shocking was that it wasnt far off into the future, just 4 years from now.
I experienced dying, the feeling of loss and what led me to that moment… then I went into the past to find and release the causes of that, to an experience of deep loss and profound guilt, in which I decided I didnt deserve to be happy.
3 Likes
It smells like Heartsong can be the trigger of all this… There is a pattern in which whenever things are going great, somehow I managed to fuck it up.
Maybe the feeling that I didnt deserve to be happy? The guilt for the mistakes of the past? The misunderstood honouring of the memory of the person I hurted?
1 Like
I do feel great relief after the regression, but I feel something else, something very weird… I feel like Im writing a novel… and its about my life, I feel like I decide where the story goes from now on… and in a way I always did, but have forgotten till now.
It weird because a couple of hours ago I was thinking that I had no control over my life.
As I was writing the last 3 posts (including this one) I felt like a narrator in my head telling me what to write and why… Like the story is comming from somewhere deep inside.
2 Likes
I wonder what a psychiatrist would think about all of this Thats a funny thought
Wow this made me look back to see what modules you had in a custom
1 Like
Yes… me too
These are my candidates:
Heartsong
The Wonder
Chosen of Venus
Love Without Attachment
Depths of Love
Lol this it’s a mixture of those
1 Like