Had some overload headache, but did some yoga, took a cold shower, had my MCT oil and Im much better now. I feel very uplifted and optimistic.
When I say optimistic I really mean lighthearted and in the flow.
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Listening to Tantric Lover Ultima while getting ready to get out…
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Well well well… yesterday with the lady we went out for drinks with another couple, they where pretty fun and we connected a lot.
The girls kissed and we invited them home next weekend for more drinks and a very sexy time.
In case it isnt obvious by now, we are swinging.
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Ooooh yeaaaah. Looking forward to the field report after the deed(s) is done.
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Today Im doing 2x The Wizard and 2x Ardhanarishvara.
Tuesday 2x Ardhanarishvara and 2x Money Magnet.
Wednesday 2x The Wizard and 2x Ardhanarishvara.
Thursday 2x Ardhanarishvara and 2x Money Magnet.
Friday to Sunday rest days.
Thats 1 extra rest day per week and the same daily exposure as before. The weekly exposure is decreased in 4 loops.
Lets see how that works… it should eliminate or highly decrease overload.
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Since I will be doing Ardhanarishvara 4 days a week, I think it will be better if I just do 1x a day.
So Im gonna test it this way:
Monday: 2x The Wizard and 1x Ardhanarishvara.
Tuesday: 1x Ardhanarishvara and 2x Money Magnet.
Wednesday: 2x The Wizard and 1x Ardhanarishvara.
Thursday: 1x Ardhanarishvara and 2x Money Magnet.
Friday to Sunday rest days.
Today Ive already listen to it twice, so Im starting tomorrow.
Ive collected some images for my customs, with the intention of fueling the archetypical manifestation powers of each.
It was quite a lesson cause some of them were really easy to convey through an image and one specifically took me a long time, interestingly enough the one that took me a lot of time is the one thats been taking longer to give consisten results.
So I take the image searching as part of the alchemical process… to create a strong and precise enough representation for my unconscious mind to engage the necessary processes and deliver better results.
In other words… finding an image that evokes what the sub is all about made me deeply clarify what the custom is all about for me.
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Changed the name of Money Magnet to something wider in scope and more evocative, more in tune with the Archetypical force of my custom, to its true power. Something in balance with my will.
So now its called Gnosis of Dominus, aka GOD. No connection to any particular god of any religious belief system, but to the Inner Creator, the Manifestor of Reality I am. We all are!!
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Dreams keep getting weirder and more complex… last night I had a very long dream in which everything blended into an undescriptable story.
People from all times of my life, living in different places, ex girlfriends, sex, fear, mysteries, spiritual revelations. All of it in a convoluted, unspeakable story.
Past, present and future all happening at the same time.
Love, fear, addiction, insecurities, repressed desires, lust and the divine… all in one.
Very Tantric.
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Due to the extreme dream activity I keep having, Im seriously considering adding Dreams Ultima to my stack.
Lets balance my exposure to my actual stack first.
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Change of plans… today Im gonna take a rest day and from tomorrow Im gonna follow Saints suggestion, full stack 1 loop each title, every other day.
Thursday:
1x The Wizard
1x Ardhanarishvara
1x GOD
Friday:
Rest.
Then repeat…
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I keep having lots of vivid and weird dreams… it feels like I have them the whole night long non stop, but probably its just before waking up, since I wake up a couple of times during the night to go to the bathroom, I have that impression.
According to the original plan, today I was supposed to listen to 2x The Wizard and 1x Ardhanarishvara, but since I changed to the recomendation of listening the whole stack 1x every other day, today I rested.
What I noticed is that Ive been feeling overloaded the whole day, which is a clear sign that I was still over exposing.
So its seem natural to me to move to this new recommended listening pattern.
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So its done…
Today I listened to my whole stack, 1x each… tomorrow rest… then repeat.
1x The Wizard
1x Ardhanarishvara
1x GOD
I was already overloaded after the first 2, anyway I have 48 hours to process and integrate.
Rest day today it is!!
By the way dreams keep getting more complex and more abundant, every night. I only remember this scene in which a girl which I know in real life was sitting in front of me in a chair and gave a Basic Instinct performance while saying she doesnt have sex with his boyfriend anymore.
It was a very long dream with lots of symbolism, friends, LSD, fast luxury cars, a big mountain, a high tower on top, buying groceries, being accused of robbing the store, being offered sex, walking the streets, buying food.
Im at that stage in which Im not sure what changed yet, I can feel things are shifting, things dont feel quite as they use to do. I really like this phase of the process, the uncertainty and the surprises.
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Yesterday in my day off I was in a sentimental mood, not sad but open to emotion. Heard a lot of blues and really felt the emotions conveyed in the guitar and the voice.
In fact after work I fixed myself a negroni and played the guitar.
Had a couple of clients and felt in the flow, totally relaxed and in dominion of the situation, very conected with them.
My girlfriend is very focused into keeping me interested in her, so yesterday she asked for my help to pick up new sexy lingerie, and told me how much she wants to try a sexy gift I gave her last week.
Ive notice that is more natural and frequent for me to engage in casual conversation. I used to dislike chattering and preferred to just speak the minimum, but now Im enjoying the act of sharing.
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Today listening schedule:
1x The Wizard
1x Ardhanarishvara
1x GOD
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