The Unfolding Year - 2023

Journals - Major Programs
#41

Dy 45 - Rest
A wave is washing over me, not sure if it’s cleansing or dragging me. Not sure if it’s good or bad. Winds of change!

Today is rest day, and I have some plans for today, work, go to improv club with some friends who’ve never seen improv. Its going to be fun.

I realized something, I have some form of resistance to do the work. I do everything except stream consistently. It’s like the streaming 101, go stream, with a consistent schedule which in my case is 3 days a week. I don’t even do that even though I have guilt free time allocated in those days to do what I want.

Today for example, I decided to go watch improv. Isn’t that self-sabotage? So starting April, if I can help it and it’s no family get together or some emergency, I will spend those three allocated nights with streaming. It’s right in front of me all along. Not even getting the basics down. :weary:

It’s like that :closed_book:, The War of Art,

”Resistance is the negative energy that stands between a person and his or her dreams.”

It’s like you do house cleaning, become extra social, start other time consuming habits, just to avoid doing the main work, which is sitting down and going through the process.

Good book… bad me!

Peace

#42

Day 46 - RoS
Had an amazing night last night watching an improv show.

Anyway, tonight we going to game and I kinda want to through in GMX, but that would be more than the recommended stack. And Im trying to mitigate recon so let’s stick to RoS.

Been feeling really social and popular lately. Imposter syndrome kicking in, I can’t believe and accept the results. Thinking people are only being nice but behind my back they find me super annoying. 🥲

#43

Day 48 - RM & RoM
Today I ran the first 10 K race of my life. For some reason my boss decided she would run to just to stick with me and pep talk. It was insane. I ran at around 8.1 km/h on average and I finished it in 1h and 11 minutes. Insane yo.

I am supposed to run my first 5K in like a week and my 10K (12 week from couch to 10k program) in like 6 weeks. And I ran 10K today at a time I wasn’t even expecting. A time I expected after perhaps 6 weeks of training. So insane man. It was raining and snowing, and was around 0 degrees Celsius.

It’s insane. But grateful that I got through it because now I know the last kilometres are all about mindset, you always have more to give.

Anyway, I am most likely going to continue with this stack. I won’t remove RoS or RoM. Unfolding boys 4 lyfe. I enjoy RM as well but am intrigued to run GMX or make a steamer custom. We shall see.

Peace :v:

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#44

Day 49 - Rest
I actually didn’t manage to listen to my subs yesterday, so I am taking this time to rest and washout and start my next cycle on Wednesday. I am going for GMX next cycle.

I am getting in the mood for competitive games again.

Btw, 10k’s are no joke. My legs are killing me :yawning_face:

Subs A: GMX3 - RoM :space_invader:
Subs B: RoS :prayer_beads:

Peace :v:

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#45

Day 51 - Washout
Just thought to leave a quote or paragraph from an improv book I’m reading.

“The hardest thing to learn is that failure doesn’t matter. It doesn’t have to be brilliant every time - it can’t be. What happens is what happens; is what you have created; is what you have to work with. What matters is to listen, to watch, to add what is happening rather than subtracting from it - and to avoid the reflex of trying to make it into something you think it ought to be, rather than letting it become what it can be.”

So good :blush:

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#46

Day 52 - RoS
Starting with the next cycle now, RoS it is. Already missing RM :sweat_smile: but I really want to try GMX, at the same time, I could use both in a custom, steamer/content creator custom.

I think I should go back to RM. I like the self-expression in it. I think I need that for improv and also streaming. But I’m conflicted…

Anyway, back to training today with a 25 minute run 🏃‍♂️. I also started with eating-window fasting yesterday. Let’s push our physique further and shed some weight. I had success with this way a couple years ago. 8 hour eating window and 16 hour fast (LG style). I’m thinking the extra weightloss makes running easier also give me other benefits like more physical confidence and comfort in my own skin. Give me more energy and stamina, or at least more stable energy level.

I really want to grow on Twitch. The problem I have is that compared to losing weight and running there is no clear cut path. I don’t see it. Perhaps there is. Like where do I even start?

Right now my focus is stream at least 2 days a week and talk as much as possible. But I’m in the unknown of like what happens next? Am I on the right path? Perhaps this is like AlexQ talked about, the need to know is a neurosis. Perhaps just flow with it and be a gambler like Osho preached.

Peace

#47

Day 54 - GMX and RM
I am willing to experiment again with micro loops of all 4 for now. I really want RM and I also want to try gMX. If it’s not working out, I’ll have to decide which one to cut out.

GMX 15 minutes.
RM 5 minutes.

And after tomorrow I’ll do RoS/RoM 5 minutes each.

Had a great run today, 25 minutes. Getting back in form after the 10K run. I also went climbing for the first time yesterday, fun.

Yesterday I also held my first improv class and it seemed like people loved it and want more. That feels good, I did it to show people that improv is not as scary as one might think and also I’ve heard if you can teach people the thing you’re trying to improve at you’ll grow in it as well.

:raised_hands:

Insane past week man :sweat_smile:
This is why I want to keep RoS and RoM and RM.

#48

Day 56 - RoS & RoM
Going back and forward on choosing what subs to run. But then ending up realising I am taking so much action now and manifesting crazy things, I should just keep going. This is good, I’m probably just experiencing some recon or am afraid I’d this success and trying to also sabotage.

Anyway today is RoS and RoM, my favourite subliminals. Been chilling today with my daughter ands doing some vocal and communication exercises.

I’ve been thinking lately that I want to get an invite to perform at a professional show for improv. My goal is to perform there at least three times. So I am motivated to practice and be so good I can’t not be invited.

Also motivated by these thoughts:
If you don’t give them what they want someone else will. The awesome things you want are scarce, that’s why you want them and value them. If everyone has your dreams you wouldn’t value them as much. As such, the nature is that it has some level of competition involved. And if you don’t give the people what they want, someone else will. If you are not good enough someone else will be. If you are not creating the content people want someone else will. So step up. You can always work harder or smarter than the next guy.

It’sa bit hustle mentality, but life is about balance. You want both to take massive action and be chill about it. Intent + don’t care.

Peace

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#49

Day 57 - Rest
Lately I’ve been thinking of adding some bad ass alpha title. Like Khan or Emperor.
We shall…
also been back to OW2 and even though I havent played in a long time im kicking ass.

GMX3 is dope!

#50

Day 58 - GMX
Listened to GMX today, I need to make sure I have recon in check. So I’ll stick to 3 subs only instead of run my beloved RM and see what GMX had to offer in aid in my journey.

I am thinking of adding a alpha title soon, or a status title like Emperor or Khan st4, just because I think having that strong status subliminal might help with confidence and helping clear some nice-guy self-sabotaging habits I have. Might also help me with having a powerful voice and communication and decrease the dancing clown behaviours I sometimes exude. I’ve also noticed I do alot of self-qualifying at times and am very diplomatic, which is nice for staying safe, but it also prevents me from taking social risks and stating what I truly feel and can self sabotage in a way. Plus it’s so boring and is based on fear from being careful of your words when growing up with an anger and sensitive dad. Lol

Anyway RoS and RoM is awesome, I think it help me know more and more how I work and what I can work on. But they also give me so many ideas, so I need to be patient and let them run due a while answer but think of switching subs. Also, they are powerful and can cause recon if I’m too reckless with how much subs I consume. Perhaps it’s the RM that is overrunning the grounding of RoS/RoM for the sake of expression and creativity.

Peace

#51

Day 60 - RoS and RoM
Running these bad boys for 5 minutes each to minimize recon. I love it.

This month I want to focus on presence and increase my awareness while engaging things, like I want to be, merge with, the action that I partake in or do. I also want to focus on my health/fitness and my runners goal. So next cycle I will perhaps add in a physical subliminal or just do emperor, as it has objectives related to physicality. I’m trying to engage in meditation as well currently.

I’ve noticed I’m not so mindful and present while streaming, not even enjoying the moment of gaming, always thinking the next thing and I think this hurts my results, who want to watch someone who is not even enjoying the process himself? And I love gaming, but being stuck in my head, or future/past disconnects me from that fun. So this is for my self, so I connect with enjoyment again, but also to create a nice vibe in streaming.

Peace

#52

Don’t know what day it is. But I’ve been at it with my schedule with the programs, of RoS, RoM and GMX3. Listened to them for 5 minutes each on their specific days. Loving RoS/RoM combo so far.

Ran 5K yesterday and started a meditation practice. Working on making that habit stay around.

I don’t know if I can part from Ros/RoS. But I really want to run Stark snd RM again next. So perhaps I’ll alternate between them.
One cycle Stark + RoS/RoM and one cycle RM + RoS/RoM.

Been churning out YouTube videos as well, that seem to get views. Which feels great.

Peace

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#53

I’ve already started on my next cycle, Stark, RoS and RoM. In love this and working as a developer, working on my content creation hobby and trying to explore the spacious consciousness while doing it all. By that advanced wombo jumbo word I mean doing things and taking action from a present point of view to the best of my abilities.

Been very aware, hyper aware the past few days of my ego structure and the content I get attached to in a unhealthy and self-sabitaging way I guess.

Love it.

Meditation and reflection.
Interesting to see how Stark blooms now. I ran it along time ago and I don’t know exactly why, but it has been blooming it feels like ever since but especially ever since running RoM.

I had people all over work telling how much people at work loves me. People saying word for word, everyone loves you. I’ve been hearing this actually vocalised on many occasions from different people the past 3-4 months

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#54

Listened to Stark and Ascension Chamber, the full duration of them.

I feel so loved and cool. Its weird and hard to believe.

I’m working on my fitness.
I am working on presence and meditation. Its a very volatile thing. Si you’re working on the ego, working towards something, is the ego Itself attaching itself to the identity of a spiritual person. Very very tough road. Very tricky, this ego business. Not even sure what I want. Do I even want to move towards “awakening”? Even that sentence is weird, how can you move towards awakening when all spiritual teachers talk about the gateless gate, that you can’t achieve something you already have.

I’ve also been churning out YouTube gaming videos (let’s play) everyday now for more than a week. Let’s keep it up.

Work wise, I am cool and productive as an AI. Lol it’s weird. It’s going so smoothly I feel maybe I’m deluded. Why are things so easy all of a sudden? I’m suspicious.

I truly believe all this is possible thanks to RoS and RoM. I don’t know what else it could be. It’s like they are the missing link, the depth and grounding that allows me to take action more easily.

Anyway, Peace.

#55

Starting washout today :ok_hand:

A lot of dreams of me enjoying the company of celebrities and they enjoying my company, win/win.

Beautiful, so next cycle I’ll continue with this stack unless I get a new idea. So it’ll probably be Stark, RoS and RoM.

I need to double down on this content I’m making on YouTube. Literally my stats are not high but 999%+ higher than my past videos before this month. I think I might have found an opening in the oversaturated gaming content market. Time will tell. :star_struck:

Also my training and fasting have paid off with another thing, I’ve lost like 2-4 kg. :ok_hand:

Also it’s weird, I ran GMX3 and started playing Overwatch 2 again after like a 2 month break and I’m playing off the charts. It’s like I didn’t take a break and kept on practicing. I’m better than last. And I went from Platinum 5 to Diamond 3-5 on 2 accounts. Usually I get placed in Gold and then fight myself up to Platinum 4-5. But now it seems my first placement is Diamond 3-4?? Which is unreal. I believe it’s a bug in their ranking system lol it’s gars to believe. Come on @SaintSovereign , you know you’ve created a beast!? Allow us to create a custom with GMX 3 por favor? :raised_hands:

I’ve noticed alot of these thoughts lately, if you read my journal. Where I can’t believe success, it’s like this new reality is unreal. It’s too crazy. It’s like I’ve been taking so much action before and not much results, so I’m like why now when I’m not even taking as much action as before?

#56

Washout day 4
Almost done with the washout!
Currently at the gym lifting weights.
Been taking action. My fatigue is the proof this time.

They say “a full day gives a good night’s sleep”.

Haven’t noticed that one yet.

“A productive life give blessed death.”

That we shall see, you let me know, because I won’t know.

Peace

#57

Listened to Stark today, 15 minutes total.

Very nice. :ok_hand:

This cycle I’ll be running Stark and RoS/RoM. Next cycle perhaps switch out Stark for RM.

Been meditating, working out, working, streaming, creating YouTube videos, reading and being a family man. Full throttle, sleeping less than optimal amount of time. I can feel it now a few weeks in. I shall try to prioritise sleep a little more.

#58

Ran 7k today. Feel pretty good, the training I’ve done the past time is showing and paying off. Recovery wise and endurance.

I’ve changed my mind, I am going to run Stark, GMX3 and RoS.
Stark for general awesomeness and streaming.
GMX3 for streaming and making nice moves.
RoS because if spirituality and depth. I love RoS/RoM combo so it is a bit sad that I’m letting go of RoM for a while.

Peace

#59

Been listened to my subs and taking action. Dealing with some anxiety. Might be recon or my meditation have allowed for these things to surface. Either way, dealing with it.

“Life is one damn thing after another…”
So why think of the future or past damn thing? You’re already in one right now or about to any moment enter a new dammed thing. Speaking about ego, and the dimension of form or the physical realm.

Peace

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#60

I’ve been taking action and listened to the subs. Also dealing with anxiety and stress.

I think I need to lower the duration I listen to and perhaps bring back RoM. We shall see.

Ran 7k today and seem to have lost 4-5kg since February. That’s like the recommended -0.5kg/week and I’ve been eating pretty much normal. Of course I am training alot and doing intermittent fasting, but I mean I am not eating clean at all.

A lot of cool new habits I will disclose as soon as I finish the installing time.

Also persevered and finished my first ever let’s play series of a Diablo 1 on Youtube. I usually give up, pretty quick. Looking forward to start my next one today and adding more cool things to the video that I’ve learned through finishing the first series. Got 2 new subs, which ain’t much but I followed through. Although YouTube said people have spent 50 hours watching my video and I have 1000% more views than usual, so that’s something.

Peace!