The Rise of the Sexy Alchemist


#61

Niice progress man!

How many loops of The Alchemist did you listen to, so far?

Also, are you doing any active manifestation ritual, or just wishing for things and they happen? :smile:


#62

Hey @AMASH Ive heard the Alchemist ST1 163 times already, thats a little over 122 hours. 64 times for SexMastery. Its not a perfect 3:1 ratio because SMX2 gets extra plays when sex is in the air :smiling_imp: Wich btw its been a lot lately
Im not currently doing any practices, I took the week off for holidays, so Im going with the flow. I will resume practices on saturday and feel the difference.

I guess that much sex has my schedule full :joy: anyway its subs only week


#63

Awesome, enjoy life man, make every day the best day it can be!

I am happy for you :blush:


#64

As I was laying in bed resting, I began to feel lots of sadness, when I focused on the emotion I saw an image of myself as a kid. I thought that I was sad for the life I had as a kid as I usually did before, but it didnt made sense. What began to make sense is that I feel sad for becoming the man I am now, more specifically for having lost that precious spark I had as a kid, a simple joy for life.

Its seems that at some point I became a cynic, and put a wall over my emotions and I killed that joyful kid, I regarded those qualities of joyfulness, creativity and lightheartedness as naivety, as character flaws and despised them.

Its weird cause I really miss that awesome boy but before I couldnt see past the anger, fear and pain of the past. Regeneration took care of that and since I began Alchemist ST1, I began to experience flashes of that kid inside, but as an adult It seems that I requiere to much effort and external help to freely enjoy things, and today it was obvious to me what the strugle is.

I want to become more of something that in a certain way I learned to despise as something childish and superficial, not at the level of the “mature” man I think I should be.

Pure BS getting dissolved into nothingness.

Im a little anxious about the whole procces and what shape or form its all going to take… I guess is because Im starting to grasp that something really cool is happening within me.

I also noticed that during this whole experience I just wrote about, at least in 3 different times my mind has tried to convince me of quitting the listening of subs, the first time in an rational well presented argument about this being a useless tool, the second with anger and the idea that is just not working, and the third time with fear of having to go through painful shit.
I feel needy, scared and at the same time firm in my conviction of running ST1 till Im done. I think Im about to BreakDown some deep emotional stuff and BreakThrough old useless patterns of thought/energy.


#65

We all go through difficult times in ST1 of the big subs. It’s difficult, and confusing, but also it happens to everyone. The future will be beautiful because you persisted and persevered.

Stay strong man. And never NEVER EVER give up!


#66

Thanks for the support man!! Giving up is not an option.
I Will Endure!!


#67

Day 11.

The crisis seems to have passed and I feel at ease.
Last night I had many dreams and woke up many times during the night. I do recall that some of the dreams had the theme of abuse in common.
Abuse of power in many forms, sexually, physically, emotionally, and manipulation in general. In some of them I was the abuser, in others I was abused, and I remember being the observer too.
I dont have an emotional connection with those situations anymore, its seems like I was observing the dymamics of abuse/manipulation and learning to recognize them and let them go.
Power strugles was (and still is to a lesser degree) a strong issue in my life.


#68

Day 12, 140 hours in ST1, 56 hours into SMx2.

The horniness is unreal, I’ll get to that later.

•First I’ve notice by reading @Yardbird Alchemist Journal that Im seeing a glow on some people, Im seeing beauty in a different way, Im not focusing much in tits and ass anymore (So to speak) but in something more subtle, more energetic, in a kind of inner goodness/beauty.

•Last night dreams reached a whole new level of vividness, theres almost no difference between the dreams I had last night and reality, and I had lots of them. I will make an arbitrary distinction since Im using Alchemist and SMx2, but only for ilustrative purposes. I dont really know If they are a result from 1 of the subs, the other, or their synergistic effect.

-Dreams about energy:

I had the most intense dream ever, and it was long as a movie, I do remember most parts.
I was walking the streets and a group of bad guys wanted to hurt me, I quickly began gathering energy in to my body, I saw white light entering my body, coming from everywhere, really shiny, almost blinding and it felt as electric current, like thunderbolts. It was so intense that my body began colapsing and I kind of woke up, not all the way, just enough to realize the vividness of the energy and how real it felt, then decided to continue dreaming. Immediately resumed dreaming and the bad guys -due to my energy- changed their whole aura and attitude and became friendly, not only that but they were enthusiastic of protecting me and to follow my command.

On other parts of the dream I got to fly at will.

Also I got to gather energy in the same fashion at least three more times. This time in a lucid dreaming state, so I got the thunderbolts all over my body, the electricity, and the white shiny aura, and consciously decided an intention “I Have Perfect Health” the feeling wasnt as intense as in full dream mode, so I repeated like 3 times.

-The Sex Dreams: I had 2 dreams about a threesome, both of them with my girlfriend and another girl.
The first one was with a girl I know, and It was as real as can get, the whole thing! The feeling of the skin, the moanings, the tastes and the sexual energy through the roof. Acting like a Sex Master, got the rhythm, the dominance and got to enjoy the whole experience.
The second one was with an imaginary girl (or maybe someone Im about to meet? :sunglasses:) this one was more about getting the girls from being just friendly with each other to a state of sexual desire between them. I already desired both lol.

•Ive been waking up, extremely horny, and today was no exception. I woke up like 5 times during the night and all of them with massive erections. This morning was no exception. Gotta do something about that and put it to good use.


#69

Well, your subconscious is telling you a clear message: you have to find another girl, and live with two hot girlfriends for threesomes every day :smirk:


#70

@AMASH Well i dont want to mess with my unconscious desires, so I better get busy, that daily threesome aint gonna happen on its own :joy:


#71

2 days ago I posted about a reflection I had, about the little joyful kid I realized I was after the Regeneration trip, and hating the man I became.
Well today I went for a walk and find out something awesome. The sun is shinning and I got into that slow motion trance state naturally. This time it was even stronger, all things nature have a glow, so Im all tranced out on the streets and noticed Im smiling for no reason and a pure sense of joy filled my heart and chest.
Its seems so obvious to me now that whatever I process in my dreams since using subs, makes a huge difference in the way I feel and think, in the way my internal reality changes and how I behave in the world.
That threesome thing surely seems closer now :sunglasses:


#72

Awesome description of your walk and your natural trance state.

And about the threesome, now that you see Auras, notice the girl with the most glowing Aura, and make her your second girl :wink:

Btw, can you see people’s Aura in photos and in videos? Or only the glow in real life?


#73

Btw, can you see people’s Aura in photos and in videos? Or only the glow in real life?

Good question! I’ll do some experiments and report back.


#74

As I read this, the sense I got even before reading the entire dream was the bit about changing wires equated (at least for me) as new neural pathways being built.

As I read the rest, the bit about the gunk being in the plug kinda cemented that metaphor for me, but added the element of changing out old for new. Bad for good.

I may be reading too much into it also, but that’s what came to me.


#75

It’s results like this with your GF that have me wanting to hurry up and add more subs to my inventory :wink:


#76

Yeah I get what you mean! But this results came by exactly the opposite aproach… relaxing and having one thing at the time :sunglasses:


#77

Thats a good interpretation, they complement each other pretty well too.
Thanks!


#78

Day 13

I feel a general sense of well being, things that bother me, bother me less and less and Im quick to find a different approach to get things done, Im more joyful. As an example today I noticed that I wasnt engaging in conversation with somebody in a birthday, I began to feel bad about it -like it was a lack of my ability- and then I realized I didnt wanted to talk to that person and left, found a couple of people that I liked more and chatted carelessly. So Its not that Im not good at making conversation, its about choosing who I want to spend time with… who I resonate with.

Its been like a week since Im really into flowers, everywhere I go it seems that flowers are all around (well its spring time :hibiscus: after all), the more colorful, brighter and scented, the more they catch my full attention. I started picking up flowers on the streets and bringing them home to decorate my Altar and as an offering to all my Dakinis. Of course my girlfriend being one of them. I just picked up a whole bunch of Jazmin.


#79

Update:

Ive forgotten something important, last night I resumed my Tantric meditation and this is the most relevant bits I can remember.

•I felt unusually strong activity in the Manipura Chakra on the back side, warm pulsating and electric.
•I felt sort of like an energetic flame in the Sahasrara Chakra, with a warm tingly sensation, thats a new expresion of the energy for me.
•Anahata was hot and expansive, hotter than other times.
•Finally the energy coming up from the Muladhara to the brain, felt like a tube (as usually does) but this time the tube felt wider and more vivid.

All this right at the next day from my Energy Dreams, quite a coincidence :joy::joy:
:mage:‍♂ 93 93/93


#80

Day 14

Time flies, already 2 weeks in. I wasnt gonna post anything because there wasnt anything to post. Things are going pretty much the same as the days before, which of course is good.

I just did my Tantric meditation and I have a couple observations.

•My mind is becoming more focused and quieter during meditation.
•My body is becoming more sensitive to energy and its flow.
•I can go deeper into my self.
•Theres no longer a feeling of rushing it through the end and get it finished, I enjoy making it longer and deeper.
•Im feeling the urge to go back to practice Reiki.
•I began using a Tantric manifestation technique, lets see how that comes to life. I plan to do it every day till it manifest.