The Psychonaut - Eudaemon

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#222

For me sex was the fuel to keep that idealized image of her alive, to make it real so being loved felt attainable for me.
For her sex was a way to keep me by her side so I didn’t abandon her.

Both of us were trying to make the other fill their role in eachothers movie, but were doomed to fail.

Im not saying that was all sex was to us, not at all. Thats the trauma bonding in action and it explain so much ofy behaviors, motivations and fears during my life

The sex obsession was the wound inside trying to hold on to the percieved solution… that only fueled eachother wounds some more.

Thats why when I talked to her and we agreed on no sex and enforced it… we both were able to start the process of healing.

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#223

I was going through the pictures in my phone and looked at several of my grand dad… I instantly felt Massive amounts of joy filling my body.
Decided to look at a picture of my ex… Massive amounts of joy filling my body once again.

What a strong signal of closure.

Honestly, I feel as a very different man, bigger, stronger, way more centered and mature.

Can’t wait for the next cycle, KB st2 and HS it is.
Phoenix did profound magic for 2 cycles, its now going to rest.
Now its time to bring HS, that was barely present during this cycle, into the front.

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#224

30 minutes of microcosmic Orbit and again I felt the energy began to flow automatically, this time not only it was more abundant and intense, I could also visualize it as a river of gold.

At one point a huge energy block got dissolved and released from my testicles. They immediately became soft amd tender.

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#225

25 minutes of Microcosmic Orbit meditation.

I got a bit of a headache yesterday afternoon and it still persist, maybe a bit of overexposure… Phoenix is quite intense.

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#226

Did some 30 minutes of Microcosmic Orbit.

Yesterday the energy felt/behaved magnetic, watery and the images that came to my mind, was one of a golden river.
Today the energy felt/behaved electric, fiery and the images that spontaneously appeared in my mind was of a big blue flame winding upwards.

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#227

Day#21

Last day of the cycle

KB × 6 minutes
Phoenix × 1:30 minutes

I did some 25 minutes of Microcosmic Orbit right after listening to my stack.

Lsst night I listened to some music, usually when the song is good, in those special parts I get a wave of pleasure going from the back of my head all the way down through my back.
Last night I got many waves of pleasure, only this time they followed the Microcosmic Orbit, the amount and frequency of waves was bigger and the pleasure was stronger. I could also trigger them at will.

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#228

Did my 30 minutes of Microcosmic Orbit practice and it felt super good, still does.
My ability to focus, to sense the energies flowing and to notice the distinctions its getting better, real fast.

Today the energies were hot and magnetic… they traveled in a much wider space, like an energetic hose.

I feel really excited about starting KB st2.

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#229

30 minutes morning Microcosmic Orbit Meditation

My mind is set on KB st2, but Im having doubs about HS… Im also thinking I could resume using my custom The Psychonaut.
This being my first day of washout, I have some time to let it breath for a while.

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#230

Sorry about your Grandpa, man.

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#231

Thanks man!! Its all good now :wink:

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#232

Since yesterday Ive been feeling some stomach pain, more like nausea. At first I thought it was something I ate, but now I realized its emotional, its a feeling of disgust.

Something is being processed at the background.

Also 30 minutes ago I began seeing a bright spot and feeling tension in my left eye, just like a couple of weeks ago when I got a big migraine.

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#233

25 minutes of Microcosmic Orbit practice and now the headache is at least 99% gone.
Im gonna eat something and go to bed.

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#234

I hope you feel well soon.

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#235

I feel much better thank you man!

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#236

I woke up and did a 25 minutes practice of the Microcosmic Orbit and it helped me dissolve some stagnant energies in the forehead.
Its amazing the feeling of inner peace and balance this practice is giving me.

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#237

So now that Im single again I have the time and resources to focus on some personal goals… also Im not interested in dating quite yet… I rather have some quality alone time for introspection and growth.

Theres some traits I want to develop in me and I will create a custom for this purpose.

Masculinity
Discipline
Being Relentless
Curiosity
Playfulness

Anything that is a driving force to move forwards in life and its cross contextual, that applies to anything I want to do in life

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#238

Im thinking that Godlike Masculinity + Daredevil can cover most bases…
Im gonna deep dive in the q store in a while.

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#239

A very interesting thing… Lately when I get aroused or when I get sexual thoughts, instead of feeling the sexual energy in my genital area, I feel it in my lower Dantian as an energy ball of pure pleasure.

The ball rotates, pulsates and vibrates according to the intensity of the arousal, in fact I can modulate the intensity by adjusting those drivers.

•Rotation speed increases the pleasure.
•Pulsation intensity increases the depth of the feeling, makes it a relentless power.
•Vibration intensity changes how playful I feel.

I have so many ideas on experiments I can run with this.

Also the energy ball seems to be getting bigger.

1 Like
#240

More on Rotation

Speed: Modulates Intensity

Direction:

Forward: Masculine, Animalistic, raw sexuality
Backwards: Receptive, laid back.
Clockwise: Romantic, Tender, Sensual.
Counter Clockwise: Vulnerable.
Right: Curiosity, Adventurous.
Left: Stillness, Intimacy, Fusion, Tantric.

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#241

Pulse:

Slow pulsations are stronger, like seismic waves of sexual pleasure flowing in all directions, shattering down everything.

Fast pulsations feels softer, but forms a continous field, a bubble of sensuality, that also feels more embracing and loving.

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