The Pleasure of Push n Pull

[Leandros]

Wanted was the missing Key.
Did today Dr/Elixir custom and 10 min of Wanted

Instantly felt good about myself, love towards myself, accepting of all shortcomings and made them into my sexy traits.

I was walking during the loop and had a big smile on my face, I laughed at my height and tell myself, it’s so sexy when a little man has all the goods, it’s even sexier than having big heights, I am gona surprise many women. And so on and so fort.

Then I accepted myself as worthy.

Then it changed and the last fight with my brother, father and mother came to mind.
I accepted that they failed
I made room in myself
Only worthy people are allowed in my heart from now on
I value my life too much to let someone enter that has not the appropriate foundation.
I realize that my family could not provide anything healthy and it’s not my fault.
I don’t need a family to provide a space for healthy self esteem growth, I can give it to myself
I don’t need a father a mother a brother a Frend a lover a romantic relationship a friendship to grow and love myself, accept myself, nurish myself, support myself, challenge myself, trust myself, help myself, compliment myself

I can do it alone

[Leandros]

Wow this is awesome
Wanted feels like pure positive/love towards myself the whole time.
Maybe my Chosen +Love Bomb custom is exploding in my chest, it doesn’t matter i feel so worthy

[Leandros]

Still feeling this incredible warmth towards myself

[Leandros]

This 10 min of Wanted changed everything.
I love myself
I like myself
I accept myself
I honor myself
I trust myself
IAm good to myself

It feels like it is the fuel to every other sub I ran,somehow I expirience the other modules in my customs start working on the surface.

I see women, hot women and I am calm.
Yesterday I was swimming and I saw 3 women sitting 10 meters away from me. They looked so fuckable in their minis. I was Nonchalantly enjoying the view, then I had a surge of playfulness. They where there wit their kids and I thought OK it useless to walk to them and be sexy. Then 1 min later I burst from laughing and tought: yeaaa but that’s the fun part of the story, go there and do it anyways, make them wet and walk away.

The moment I wanted to stand up their men’s came around the corner and sat down.

It was funny anyway.

Then today I saw a beautiful African women in the train. The first moment I was nervous and then it kicked in my head: why are you nervous? From what? From someone with such stupid interpersonal values? From someone who really believes that someone shoud finance theyr lives?
You all know the word for that.
From someone who dose not contribute and waits that I am doing all the work.
From someone who believes that they are at the top of the value pedestal, just because they exist and are Sooooo good that they can relax and do nothing.

Pufffff all the topics where gone.

In a split second I realized that I should not have any internal problems about women, it’s just not right.

Then I walked out of the train and she stands before me. I watch in her eye and turn away like she wasn’t even worth my time.
She saw that and liked her lips with a smile.

Its a great feeling

Also its very energy intensive, I feel a little bit tired but that’s no wonder I also run DRst4/Elixir

[Leandros]

DR is great.
I have such a control over my emotions.
That’s a reward - I love it

[Leandros]

Ohh woooooww
I feel Wanted
This is something my parents never gave me, quiet the opposite.

This feeling of being wanted heals something in me. It’s beautiful
I love it to my core

[Leandros]

I did it again.
I have phases of feeling super good and super bad.

Then I realize that’s from Dragon Reborn /The Elixir. I completely forgot that I have run DR

I am proud of myself non the less, I want to give up but I don’t, I know I am close to some real liberation because it’s so unpleasant at the moment. The next loop tomorrow will be really good.

[Leandros]

I saw today the most perfect women in a long time.

I wasn’t even moved by it.

That was the moment I decided to order a Wanted custom.

I did it 5 min ago.

Holy shit, Wanted Zp is Genius, the amount of Energy I have for myself is tremendous.
No more waisted energy for women, people, and so on and so fort.

I included inner Gasoline as well.
Time to pull my power back to me and use it for myself

[Leandros]

Now let’s see if I can manage to do 4 Customs next cycle.

I know it’s crazy but I have to try it.
I can manage 3

C1 Emperor/Minds Eye
C2 Chosen /Love Bomb
C3 Primal /Diamond
C4 Wanted/Godlike Masculinity

Here is the custom I ordered today

Wanted
Godlike Masculinity

Charisma and Flirting automatic Improver
Deep-sleep
Deus
Divine Self image
Direct influencing aura
Energetic Development XI
Entranced
Gorgeous Manifestor
Information Releaser
Inner Gasoline
Khronos Key
Natural Winner
Naturalizer
Power awareness
Power Unleashed
Pragya
The Merger of Worlds
Voice Master

Let’s go crazy

[Tobyone]

@Leandros

Let’s go crazy

You are crazy my man

[Leandros]

I have to be crazy here in Sweden, oooops pardon me I mean Switzerland.

[Tobyone]

Let’s call it Swetzerdenland

[Leandros]

DR st 4 in a custom is crazy.

I never ever felt tired with subs but this custom brings me to my knees sometimes.

Its like I don’t have much room for other things.
I don’t feel bad, just tired in my head.

Non the less I go now the 2nd time for swimming. Surprisingly Sport is not a problem.

Let’s go

[Leandros]

How do you like Swizenland

[Tobyone]

Haha sounds like a pig farm

[Leandros]

Let’s go Swizen

Sounds very perverse

[Leandros]

Today I was tired after the loop of DR and I am still tired. But I was going 2x for swimming non the less. 1x at morning after I stood up and 1x at evening.

During the loop I started to pray, I pray for complete healing of my trauma states and I also asked the universe if I can draw healing light to speed up the process. I became what I asked for and instantly some stuck fears in my body startet to melt until I had to vomit for a couple of minutes. Then 1 hour later I felt that st 3 is working. I saw how useless the mechanics of a trauma is and that it is time to dissolve the fear now and forever. Then I vomited again.

The rest of the day was very quiet, no ups and downs, just static tiredness.

Now its 10 pm and I am ready to go out for 1-2 hours.i do 10 min of Wanted and then let’s go

[Leandros]

Yesterday I stayed home.
I couldn’t listen to Wanted because my system was occupied until now.

No I get a little bit of processor power back.

Its unbelievable how dense this ST4 custom is,i never expirienced this level in Qv2.

Zp is on a different level for real.

But it’s a great training for myself,after this cycle I am going to drop DR,It has served its purpose until now. I feel that everything that made me go back to DR is healed.

How do I know that?

No ups and downs just static energy.

My first year with DR was only bad energy and constant downs. Then after a year I stopped and did other things to heal.
I am doing since 24 days DRst4/Elixir (5 days washouts in between).

That’s nearly 1 cycle and I had this time constant ups and downs. Since 2 days I have no more ups and downs.

Thats something.

Tomorrow I do another loop of DR and see what it brings.

So far I can say that I brought me tremendous value and healing.

Here a short list

I don’t feel like a victim
Unhealthy energy is removed
Pressure to make everything correct is replaced with : I can make mistakes, it’s no problem, I Learn from them and don’t repeat them the next time.
A couple of traumas are erased
Paranoia is gone
A true wish for healing was formed during imense despair and that supercharged the whole process.
Pride for myself
Eradication of hatred and agression
Development of boundaries
Realization that I am indestructible but at the same time no need to do things that have a negative impact
Pulling myself out of negative spirals consciously
Developed a will to live
Destroyed suicide
Destroyer of Negativity
Had to draw a finishing line towards people in general, that means from now on its my responsibility who I let into my heart.
I withdraw from going out and focused on myself.
Learned to make pause and working trough stuff I had to deal.
Loneliness starts to turn into Solitude
Fear is losing its power over me
Impenetrable
Opinion of others and from society lost power.
Feeling attractive as a human being
Quiet in my head
Inferior complex is destroyed
Ability to see the problem from different angles and then dissolve it
Healing of pain (big time)
And more

Phhu that’s quite a mountain of shits that’s gone in 24 days.

Despite the fact that I don’t want to listen anymore to DR I do the Next Loop tomorrow

Let’s go

[Leandros]

I knew it

Yesterday evening I was nearly ready to give up,
6 days of tiredness, 6 days where I couldn’t use my energy and a shitload of topics.6 Days not functioning.

But today after the loop I felt as if I have drunk from Miraculix poiton.

The Elixir kicked in
Thats genius
I am full of power now.
No tiredness
Just alive

Let’s go

[Leandros]

Did 10 min of Wanted.
I am very calm and relaxed.
I feel attractive
I feel Wanted

Its a beautiful state