Our new shout of inevitable victory!
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Inevitable Victory - thatâs exactly where this is going
I like it
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Great idea to combine CFW with that dense healing custom that you have! Also respect after all those negative emotional releases that you still decide to dive deeper and even make a healing custom. Absoluut madlad!
I donât know if you know about Joe Dispenza? I think his meditations will help a lot with these types of emotional releases. Do you sometimes feel that youâre blocked somewhere in your body when theses suicidal and negative thoughts are coming up? Like in your heart or throat.
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Thank you for the sweet compliment.
I did not expect that it can turn so suddenly.
But now I am prepared.
As much as I donât want to do it any longer, I have to do it,its necessary.
I learned that I have to start with 1 loop of Spartan first and I have to end the next cycle with 1 loop of Spartan.this will give me the mental strength I need.
It was very hard these 2 days but I expected that.
Letâs go
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New cycle start today
LETâS GO
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Spartan, ma man
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I donât get it
I did Spartan and my Dragon Reborn Custom 11 hours ago. It knocked me out completely until now.
11 hours, 8 hours sleep where sleep.
And I go back to sleep now
Thats crazy
I still feel like I canât operate, just laying around. It was the first time in my life that I donât enjoy laying like on opium around. I want to do something but I canât right now.
Letâs see how long this phase holds
I did yesterday at 10:30 am Spartan and my Dragon Reborn Custom
Then I packed my stuff and left my apartment for swimming. I layd 2 hours in the grass and then returned, at home I smoked a cigarette in my hammock and nearly slept in. So I go to bed only to sleep 8 hours, stood up at 10 am for 1 hour, had to eat and back to sleep until 11 am.
I didnât hear the alarm clock.
What is that?
Its exactly 24 hours knockout.
Still feel like opium on2 legs
I read yesterday before listening to subs the article of SaintSovereign where he gives inside into how Zp works.
So I put myself into a zone before listening.
I told myself until I felt it : I am OK with the whole script, I want the whole script to be accepted and executed unhindered. I say yes to every information that comes from my custom.
It was a test but I didnât expect that level
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Ohh this is great
I feel incredibly attractive as a human being
I love it
I am very quiet and true to myself.
I feel good and love it to be alive
This is the beautiful part of DR
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I did today just for fun a pendulum test what Core would go best with Godlike Masculinity
I am somewhat drawn to this Titel and I want to build a custom
What came out was Godlike Masculinity and Khan st 4
I bursted out laughing hard.
I clearly remember the last time I used Kahn I get fucked big time. I could not do 1 cycle of St 2 and now my best choice is st4
But maybe I have to give it another shot
Did Spartan +Dr/Elixir custom today
Felt shit the whole day, and still ongoing
Again a topic of my parents left me alone is present and hurts badly
I start to realize how much shit I have experienced and I have still have much healing to do.
How many times I expirience the same problem in another Form and experience is unbelievable.
Non the less I am in a shity state but I know itâs because of DR.
So letâs go and clean whatever is there.
Time to work seriously
How about taking three days off?
No
Today I feel incredibly good after this rinse days. How much shit I could realese is incredible.
Also I was prepared this time.
I expirience imense benefits right now, I am still in sleep mode but thatâs a coping strategy of my childhood " just sleep it away" it doesnât work and I slept my whole life.
Time to change that also.
For a Dragon to be born-the old self must dye
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I was yesterday in a real shitty state.
Non the less I was going out to play a Foosball tournament.
The first 2 hours you draw every time a new partner and farming points. After 2 hours you get a fix partner and play a tournament.
My partner was a real stoner, running every 5min out of the club to smoke his joint.
We made It to the finals and lost 7:6.
We beat first league teams.
Spartan is a beast
The interesting part is that I wasnât one bit down or angry also no criticism towards my partner, instead it made more sense to encourage him and gratulate the winners and have a good time ( as much as possible in my condition).
This is great and life is better that way
Now I feel very good, full of positivity.
I have a fantastic life and start to enjoy it.
DR cleaned on all FRONTS, BACKS and CELLAR like crazy.
Tomorrow I do only DR +Elixir custom
I am on the way to health
Thank you Subliminalclub
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And how our shout of imminent victory: LETâS GO HARDCORE!
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Something is crawling up since weeks if not months,to less self worth. I have flashes of : Do Wanted
Its nearly permanent now and I have to do it tomorrow after my DR Custom
Only way to find out is to include one loop of Wanted.
In this new cycle I used Spartan +Dr/Elixir custom, I have 1 spot left.
LETâS GO
I was yesterday night going for a walk at 1 am
I was in such a bad mood that I had to smoke 1 puff.
I knew the consequences
I was instandly expirience paranoia, I had the feeling of someone is suddenly here and attack my life. ( OK I had this fucking paranoia before I smoked) I took another puff to intensify the whole shit.
I walked and let the whole shit show continue.
I vomited 2-3times hard
Then I started to take control over the situation.
I just asked : what is the cause of this paranoid state.
I saw a in my minds eye : myself but black, not black skinned, just a black person, I could not see my face, it was just a black person.
I asked : why do you do that
I had flashes of when I was 2 years old, hiding in the broom cabinet from my father, expecting anytime someone is there attacking my life until I pass out completely.
I just grabbed the black part so it can not vanish.
I hammered it in with force I just started to have a monolog, I was saying : OK I understand, there where situations where this was true but itâs over, I donât need you any longer, your time is up, you are useless now, you know why, because I am the most dangerous being here, no matter who attacks me human or monster I am going to destroy an attacker.
Then I saw how I stand before a big computer Maschine and I was holding a rope thatâs coming out of the computer, this was the paranoia rope and I let it just go.
Instandly the whole paranoia collapsed and I could walk freely.
No more fear in the dark.
I am proud of myself, I was quiet during the whole walk, no panic attack, no fear for my life, no escape from the situation and what I feel.
I am a badass.
Then I walked home and during that I expirience that I have wishes and I need to stop pretending that nothing can hurt me and my body language is that of a beaten being at the moment.
I pull some white healing light from the universe and let everything that has to do with being beaten heal until I walked normal.
I was again at home and I was sweating cold sweat for the next 9 hours.
I was laying in the hamoc and I expirience an overflow of unhealthy energy to the point I couldnât handle it anymore.
Instead of desperate/doubt/unsureness and closing down on the whole situation I developed a wish, a very strong wish : I want to heal all of this. There was a surge of energy from my belly that put me into a relaxed state, I knew the process has started for real this time.
2 days ago after the loop I had maybe 4 hours the ugly feeling of : I donât heal/regenerate
I told myself for hours: I am healing right now.
Now I understand the process, I had to expirience this level of despair so that I Form the true wish to heal.
The simple sentence : I heal - has selfsustained energy now
I stood up today, my upper body was ice cold, I smoked a cigarette and di one loop of DR.
Now I feel very cleansed and super relaxed, somehow I have the feeling that today is going to be a good day