For Lapis Exilis? See two posts above
3 Likes
Thank you for indulging me
2 Likes
15.02.1990
AL 4:30 KB1 4:30 RICH 0:05
I’ve sneaked in a few seconds of New RICH every listening day (like 5-10 seconds).
Results
My boss asked me, if I would work part time instead of Minijob for a couple of months.
She just needs time to find someone new.
But I was sceptical.
At home I checked in with Gemini about my concerns and my intuition was right.
If I would agree to go part-time minimum wage we would drop out of social support/ basic income. That would mean, I’d have to pay for my fiancees health insurance.
In total I would work double of what I work now and in result would have 150€ less than now.
And that’s beside the fact that taking care of my grandmother and mother is already straining enough with my ADHD brain.
5 Likes
17.02.2026
Cycle 2
Listening Day 6
AL 5:00 KB1 5:00 Rich 0:05
I sleep a lot better recently. The excessive sweating is gone, I still wake up a couple of times a night, but today, I didn’t wake up because I needed to pee despite emptying my last beer before lent before sleeping. And I didn’t even go to toilet before sleeping.
So I see this as a milestone.
18.02.2026
Lapis Exilis (LX) 0:15
So this is the morning after, the 18th, and after waking up, I found I finally received my custom
So I listened anyways for 15 seconds.
Update
I just realized that the last to days were marked by boredom. I’ve caught up with all interesting threads in the forum, caught up with the Telegram channels, read books, but still feel bored.
There’s enough stuff I should do, but instead I’m bored and can’t get myself to do that much. Or at least I could do a lot more.
Either this is a new level of understanding myself, or this a different effect of my custom, or it’s recon.
May also be caused by knowing that I don’t have to work at the gas station for a couple of days. So some pressure I had before is gone.
Boredom… Wtf? 
2 Likes
Thanks to @Malkuth I’ve just found this Paragraph with RICHs copy
Use it with spiritual titles to align wealth-building with your highest purpose and deepest wisdom.
Since RoS will drop sooner or later, and I considered to run it for some time again, perhaps after KB1 replacing it until the update drops, I now asked myself if I should build a spiritual wealth custom?
Working title is "The Mystic Dragons Lair"
-
RICH
-
Revelation of Spirit
-
Aura
-
One purpose
-
Alexandria
Maybe -
Synergy Inescapable Gaze
Probably only Awakened Perception -
Arcane Mastery
-
Avatar
-
Cashflow Catalyst
-
Synergy the golden one
Might be unnecessary with RICH -
Synergy energetic transcendence
It has more modules than I’d like it to have, but a few that I want. -
Formless Clarity
Looks interesting -
Inner Gasoline
Would be especially interesting after KB -
Mystic osmosis
-
Omni dimensional
-
Heaven Shaking Power
-
Sam//Vana
-
Synergy: Wonders of Life
Love this module -
Spiritual Reality Alignment
Have it in me NE RoS -
Synergy: 42
Just 20 modules is much to dense. Also there are next to none wealth modules in here, only spirituality.
And a few advanced modules I’m not sure about (Sam//Vana, 42).
But thank God, RoS’ drop is still a while out, so I don’t have to decide anything yet.
Edit:
Saint just casually mentioned that two core name embedded are a thing for now. So maybe that’s the best option. No choosing of modules, no cutting of fluff, just the two cores I desire.
3 Likes
2 Likes
19.02.2026
Cycle 2
Listening Day 7
AL 5:30 KB1 5:00 LX 1:00
Listened before going to bed/writing this
Today was a strange day.
I woke up three hours early and couldn’t fall asleep again. Then I was tired the whole day.
But what was strange is that I felt a serious depression today. Did next to nothing.
The whole evening I spent in bed solving nonograms and watching moonshiners.
And I didn’t feel happy or relaxed like I usually did when did this comfort routine.
Today is the first day of lent. Since I might be prediabetic, I decided to do 8/16 interval fasting, cutting alcohol and reducing refined carbs like in sugar, wheat, junkfood etc.
I think LX should help here as well with Paragon, Endocrine System etc.
But a big source of dopamine is gone.
This might be a factor.
It also feels like recon.
It feels like something huge is being worked on.
When @CurlyGirl found me, we talked about my feelings and it helped. She then wanted to do a ritual we have. Everytime she finds kinda deep questions from relationship coaches on social media, we use them to depend our relationship.
This time, there were 6 questions and we needed about an hour to get through.
Partially because they really went deep. Partially because my ADHD brain thinks to complex for these skins if questions and I first needed to clarify what exactly is asked.
Update
The next day.
I slept really well. Surprisingly.
My bad mood is gone. Completely.
I feel more driven to get stuff done today.
Also I feel a slight pressure in the whole of my head. Still not really unpleasant, but stronger than it used to be.
5 Likes
No subs today. Still headache.
I see this as a prove of what Saint meant when he talked about ZPU being much stronger than ZPv2. And why we need to adapt the progressive microloop protocol.
Not to keep us small but to assure a safe development and a steady progress.
I have one ZPU preview custom in my stack.
One NSE Custom, and one before NSE but ZP title.
(Plus tiny snippets of RICH every now and then)
And still I felt depressed the day before yesterday and headache starting late yesterday.
These titles are no joke.
With ZPU being close to completion, we, I, need to be careful with exposure. It’s better to err on the side of caution than to drown in recon.
Or maybe, just maybe, this headache is actually LX doing it’s work iny brain. I can’t tell.
3 Likes
I killed Behemoth today.
My phone provider fucked up and I got a dunning letter.
I could have done something about it earlier, but ADHD, and I did my part. They fucked up.
So I wrote (@CurlyGirl wrote the first draft) a letter of dispute. Packed with all the facts and paragraphs.
I’m done playing nice. I’m done kowtowing.
I’ve lifted long enough full of fear.
Not anymore.
I’m not gonna let anyone bully me around anymore.
Maybe my subconscious even stopped me earlier from tackling it so I can consciously learn that I can go through this shit, my head held high.
Never done something like this.
Proud of my self.
4 Likes
Stayed awake until 3:30 after this.
Totally lost track of time on insta.
The algorithm really got me this time. I think I’ve sent my fiancee 25 reels or so.
I’m experimenting a bit with psi since my birthday. I’ve seen so many fascinating videos in this topic.
BUT the craziest thing happened afterwards.
I dreamed that I can fly.
Not the, for me, usual levitation and making elongated jumps.
No. I was flying like Superman. Ok, not that crazy.
Not like through the clouds. But so high that people became small
2 Likes
Still felt some pressure iny head. So I decided to add one more day to process.
Just noticed that I’m flagging more content recently.
I don’t know what this is about.
Is there more content that is against policy and needs moderation?
Am I getting more sensitive?
Is it that I’m delegating these issues to the proper channels rather than wasting my own energy?
Or is this recon and I’m more annoyed by other users?
@RVconsultant ?
Is it to much?
1 Like
I had a similar case a day ago or so. It’s recon mixed with an actual issue I had.
1 Like
23.02.2026
Cycle 2
Listening Day 8
AL 6:0 KB1 7:30
Listened before going to bed/ writing next morning
Got a second email yesterday “Here is your custom”. So I paused the custom until I get an answer from support whats going on.
Crazy dream about a being back in school. But the school was in an old castle.
Little bit like Hogwarts, just for muggles, with sleeping quarters etc.
Also it felt like a class reunion. We were all adults, friend of mine, came late to class because she had an emergency (she’s a psychologist) and to take care of a murder witness.
Yesterday was interesting. Got in a mild discussion with someone in the main season thread. He spammed the thread with quotes from Saint to prove his point. I simply stated that he got it wrong, explained that and didn’t even care to look for the quotes to prove him wrong.
It wasn’t that important to me. Only when he used a straw person fallacy, claiming I was referring to a completely different post Ingot engaged again, only to read an answer from Saint himself, explaining everything in detail what I explained in two lines.
And I learned I was rage-flagged by the other…
What makes this interesting is, that I was totally calm and didn’t care, as long as it was about the facts. But as soon as he claimed something wrong about me, I got engaged.
I have no problem with being wrong. Actually I really like to learn where I am wrong. Because that’s the only way to grow.
But once it got personal and the topic was just a tool to prove me wrong publicly I felt not indifferent anymore.
I felt like I need to protect myself from slander.
Is this why discussion a often get personal?
Because of fear? That your good name gets smeared?
Thanks to Emotions Unfettered and Way of Understanding I start to grasp these concepts of what’s going on in me.
2 Likes
26.02.2026
Cycle 2
Listening Day 9
AL 6:00 KB1 6:00 LX 0:45
Listened before going to bed/ writing next evening
Getting along well. No excessive recon.
Perhaps a little bored and missing drive.
I’m considering dropping AL at a point to give it room to breath, to bloom. But two cycles might not be enough. So this might actually be recon.
1 Like
28.02.2026
Cycle 2
Listening Day 10
AL 6:30 KB1 6:30 LX 1:00
Listened before going to bed/ writing soon after
I often heard the explanation for stayung up late with ADHD is revenge procrastination.
It’s the only time when no one is demanding anything from you, so it’s the only time you can fully enjoy.
This made sense to me.
But today I felt it to be true.
And it makes a huge difference if something is logical or if you can actually feel it.
So AL stays. Only reason to drop it would be an upgrade once Genesis: Ascension drops.
Then I’ll redo AL.
2 Likes
This is big fir me aswell. But it’s also a form of self-sabotage. The best thing you can do for yourself is sleep, especially if you’re taxed and the works demands don’t lessen.
Easier said than done, consistently.
1 Like
This last week was pretty intense.
First out shower broke down.
A quick Gemini conversation said it would cost me around 200€ to get it repaired.
The same day I got the news from my mechanic, that my car doesn’t only need new brakes but also a new Gearing Mechanism. That makes it 3k instead of 600€ I calculated with.
The next day, I had over 65 customer/hour because of the rapidly rising gas prices in Germany (officially because of the Iran war, unofficially because of greedy oil companies because German suppliers aren’t affected since they have long term contracts with other suppliers).
I had my first mental breakdown at work. I started to see double, I was shaking, couldn’t do much etc.
Made it somehow through the shift and the next day I felt normal again.
Our plumber came over pretty quickly, did the repair in under 15 minutes and wanted 30€.
So no big deal after all.
Plus I got the chance to ask for an offer for a new shower which my mom can get paid by the health insurance because she’s a nursing case.
So hopefully we get a new shower for free in the next two months.
Because of all of this, I decided to skip one listening day a land go straight into washout.
It was a good decision.
I’ll continue listening later today or tomorrow.
Also, I had a long conversation with my fiancee about moving out and getting our own flat in fall when my uncle gets his pension and can take care of his mother.
By then we will have our ADHD diagnosis, are properly medicated and can hopefully get a job.
Even if this shouldn’t be the case, I still could get a job with a roofer I know. Wouldn’t be my dream job, but at least it’s full of variety and your out in the open most of the time. And it pays around 1.800€ a month. So enough to pay for a decent flat and everything.
Now I just need to tell my family.
2 Likes
8 day Washout.
Really needed that.
09.03.2026
Monday
Listening Day 1
Cycle 3
LX 1:30 AL5:00 KB1 5:00
Listened before going to bed.
Started slow.
1 Like
This evening I was totally on edge, hyper Irritable.
But after a short time I realized it was recon and explained it.
And that from rather short loops.
The recon was much stronger than last time.
The only title I used longer was LX, but this custom has nothing about setting boundaries.
The only title I use atm that covers that area is Ascendet Love.
But I even reduced AL listening time by 25%
I’m confused.
Why did I get recon with the shorter exposure?
2 Likes
11.03.2026
Wednesday
Listening Day 2
Cycle 3
LX 1:30 AL 5:08 KB1 5:09
Listened late evening
1 Like