@anon2351792 I have felt that trapped feeling myself. I could be wrong but I think that feeling stems from not being in line with our values or beliefs about ourselves and our lives. Expectations not met or unhappy in a relationship or job and not having a clue what to do or feeling frozen in place.
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Yeah @James that definitely struck a chord in meā¦ I feel that I been holding on to an expectation of how my life was supposed to be and that is bringing pain.
Thanks for sharing it made things clearer.
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I did some digging and emotional release of my expectations about life and how it was supposed to be.
It had an interesting and subtle effect in my mood, but pretty distinct.
I had some residual pain in my knee from the other day, minor pain but I could still feel it. Now after the exercise its fully gone.
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Feeling pretty good and ready for a loop of Elixir Ultima before a deep sleep.
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I keep liking Elixir Ultima more and moreā¦ every loop digs something new out for clearing.
This time some nasty shit with my first girlfriend came out from god knows whereā¦ I could see it all from the outside, without feeling part of it, from this perspective I could feel free from that experience and a wave of pleassure filled my body.
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@anon2351792 I feel the same way when I run Elixir. I keep telling myself I can take on more but thatās not true. Iām going to stick with Elixir and Regeneration as well.
I wasnāt being very nice earlier and thatās when I realized I need to pull back to the minimum. I need to get my shit together
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It took me a while but now Im convinced that when it comes to subs, the less is more approach works wonders.
Dont get your shit together, get rid of your shit! It works better that way 
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Last night I had a dream in wich I gave a girl a tarot reading, the dream is cool for many reasons.
First I could see the cards in such a great detail and intuitively know what they mean.
Apparently I know a lot more about tarot than I gave myself credit for, cause all the details in the reading where accurate in regards of the symbolism meanings.
There where more cards in my dream tarot, the minor arcana had 5 suits instead of the regular 4. It had Swords (air), Wands (fire), Cups (water), Pentacles (earth) and Spirit, like the 5 elements in magick.
I went on an interpretation about libido and sexual energy, cant remember the whole details, but there was a second girl watching from the outside, she had fire red hair and was looking at me with desire.
She looked like Lady Godivaā¦
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Yesterday I recieved my new glasses after many years of not wearing them, now I have to adapt my eyes to them, since I have astigmatism wearing glasses distorted the shapes of objects and its making me a little dizzy.
It should be ok in a couple of days.
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@anon2351792 Yeah youāre correct. I can definitely feel Regeneration and Elixir working as I donāt let certain people or situations push me into an immediate panic any longer. I am really working on becoming aware that someone elseās opinions or tantrums and outbursts donāt have anything to with me and itās not my place to criticize them even when they lash out at me or make unnecessary comments. I donāt let people talk down to or disrespect me either. I have begun to learn to grey rock the narcissists I have to deal with. I understand now that people want control and are waiting for a response. I now step back almost instantly and I donāt so much shut down as just get nonchalant.
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Day 13 of Regeneration Q + Elixir Ultima.
Next monday I will add one of my customs, 1 loop a day for starters.
Ive been listening to about 3 loops of Regen and 1 of Elixir daily, and resting on weekends, so tomorrow is resting time.
I havent been able to exercise because Im resting my knee after I injured it las saturday, its good now but I rather give it one more day of recovery.
Yesterday I was aware of many issues that keep popping in my head with clarity and went on with emotional healing exercises. Whats cool is I no longer feel rushed to heal, I cant observe, be aware and decide whats the best approach.
Ive been working in getting my work to be known, to reach more people and this week I been having a lot more interest from people to book sessions, only 1 new client book her session but 4 more already said yes. Its movement in the right direction.
I feel it to be directly related to a belief change induced by Regeneration/Elixir.
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Thats a great thing my friend, it makes life so much better.
Being a native spanish speaker, I didnt know the word nonchalant even existed until the module in the Q store was released, whats worse I dont think I ever felt very nonchalantā¦ but now that I feel this way I gotta tell you, its awesome!! Its now my favorite word/attitude.
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I donāt have that rushed or hurried feeling as much either although I know itās happening whether I want it to or not because I am running Regeneration and Elixir. I ran Elixir last night as I was falling asleep and again this morning and I feel ok but a bit anxious. Itās probably true but I feel Elixir is way more powerful than Regeneration. In what way I have no idea. I just know this is something I have needed and wanted for so long and Iām going to stay with it until I donāt feel I need to any longer
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I love my Elixir as the last thing at night and as the first thing in the morningā¦ before Im really awake, I grab my headphones and go for the ride!!
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Yeah you and me both. I will probably make that a habit going forward
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After my morning Regeneration and elixir I had a fight with my girlfriend, as we also did yesterday. In both cases it was me overreacting, verbally agressive to things she said.
To be honest what she said was nothing to even be bother about.
This time I decided to explore as to what was causing my behaviour, just to discover I was scared of her and reacting agressively like a beaten up dog.
I did some regression type, emotional liberation exercise and released the pattern and origin.
The shift in my attitude was astronomical, immediately my mood changed and I appologized to her. I began that same instant to see her with lust and attraction, wich I havent done in a week or more.
Unfortunately we had to take care of some stuff outside so I couldnt get my hands all over her, not for now at least.
Gotta finnish work first.
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Listened to my morning Elixir, but after that its resting weekend, no more subs till monday.
On monday Im adding 1 loop of my custom AlchST4-Stark-PS.
Yesterday was a very pleasant day, after the emotional release I felt really happy and joyful for the rest of the day, like a kid playing.
Today Im a little sleepy, took my vitamins now some breakfast and then some trekking.
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