Ok, this morning I had a sudden strong headache while listening to regeneration. I became pretty angry, frustrated and fearful. I had no desire nor the energy to go through heavy reconciliation and I had lot of work to do with clients, work I just cant do with a strong headache.
At some point I was in my bed with so much pain I became desperate and in an act of pure will I decided to overcome the pain, gain a lesson, move on.
After several emotional relase exercises, I became pretty calmed but still strong pain. I ask myself, is there any reason for me to be still in pain and a strong fear made itself present. That fear allowed me to remember being very small, about 4 years old, and my parents were arguing about money.
To make a long story short, in that experience I learned to reject money because that would make people be interested in me only for the money and at the same time no money began to mean no love. Quite a double bind there.
Did some releasing over that childhood memory and got a huge emotional release, but still pain.
I asked myself, is there anything stopping me from being pain free right now. More fear appeared in my chest, fear of not making it, not being able to succed at my job, to have the life I want and having to admit that it was all a mistake, that I should have listen to my parents and chose a formal education and have a proper job.
Released that too… and the pain went away!
The rest of the day I been feeling tired and emotionally drained, wich is understandable.
A little Magick? A client that I havent heard from for months (pre Covid) wrote to me yesterday, he said he was going to call me in a couple of hours but didnt, he texted me today after all the releasing!! I got a message from him, we talked in the afternoon and hes offering me a project. Lets see how we can make that work.