I have this really weird feeling, not good, not bad, just unfamiliar.
Im not longer the person I was, thats crystal clear to me, but the man I am turning in to is yet a mystery to unfold.
My mind tries to make sense of it allā¦ theres a lot of information missing yet to be able to reach a conclusion.
Theres a lot of life to be lived yet.
I cant remember being in such a turning point ever before.
I think I unlocked a new level of irony, I caught a cold while listening to Paragon.
Anyway its pretty mild, I been feeling kind of drained since monday, probably tomorrow Im gonna be ready to rock.
The feeling has settled down and Im more integrated. Life seems like it got smoother edges.
Im feeling a sense of happiness and acceptance that flows effortlessly from the inside.
I can relate to this exact feeling big time. Running Heartsong myself to try and reconcile these feelings.
Are you running anything else besides HS?
Art of Happiness and recently tried the new Inner Circle. Art of Happiness has been a real blessing, and has helped with self-love a lot more than expected.
Great! I was going to suggest that one
Itās really a great sub
Im at a ladys house drinking some cocktailsā¦ damn you PSā¦ I have a cold, let me rest!! 
Fell asleep maybe at midnight IIRC and slept till 13:00ā¦ Boy did I needed that.
Todays intuitive listening
Paragon 4:47
PS 1:23
Even though I still feel somewhat sick, Im gonna go out have a walk under the sun.
So last night I dated the same girl from last saturday, you know I wanted to explore whether or not some sexual chemistry could arise or be grown on my side.
We had a great time, we talked, we laughed and shes crazy about meā¦ When she asked me if it was reciprocal, I had to tell her no. Im simply not feeling it.
She didnt take it as badly as I thought, but she did told me its the worst thing I could have said. Well women in general arent forged in rejection as most man are. She said that if I wanted something with her, she would jump over me and have her way.
Ive never had such intense feelings for a woman before, without being in love or sexually attracted, thats the part that had me confused. Now Im starting to understand very deep shit about myself.
This is another woman, with this one the relationship is 100% sexual chemistry on steroids, but it lacks in depth.
Maybe I need to find someone that integrates all the qualities, not necessarily one though 
Day#11
Paragon 3:49
PS 1:05
Man only half way through this cycle and PS is a quick acting beast, when you got your proper foundation.
Paragon has been slowly, but surely chipping away the tension and the pain, Im not longer on pain killers.
Day#13
Paragon 3:01
IC 0:40
I wanted to test that anti recon scripting, all those positive reviews got me wondering about it.
I thought about listening PS with IC today, since the pain is already so much manageable, but then I realized manageable pain is still pain, so I kept Paragon and just for today PS moved out.
For now Im considering between Synergy Beyond Connection and Synergy Primordial Auraā¦ Who knows, I might end up using both.
Day#15
Paragon 4:15
PS 1:22
This cycle is getting closer to an end and Im having such a transformation on the inside, that everytime that I engage with people or go outside I feel like a different person.
I spend most of my time alone, so theres a distinct, noticeable attitude, flowing from my core, when I do socialize.
In the past I used to confuse this with lack of results, because I wasnāt testing, but now I dont need to test to convince myself Im changing, Ive learned to tap into whats different inside and then look for the changes outside.
The fact that I dont socialize every day, is not longer āevidenceā that things are still the same, they are now the opportunity to make deeper, more significant changes, then when I do go out, I can obviously discern how things unfold differently from within.
My attitude is way more relaxed and that makes me way more free.
On the Paragon side of things, the evolution is slower, but its obvious that these things takes more time.
The important thing is that the pain is decreasing and Im no longer taking pain killers.
That means the crisis is over, but now is when the real work starts.
I keep doing my yoga routine to losen up my hips and fortify my muscles, almost every day.
I dont know if Im gonna keep using Paragon the next cycle thoughā¦ Im open up to whats best for me.
So today is day 19 of the cycle, as much as I am enjoying PS results, I believe I need something that grounds me a bit.
Not necessarily saying I want to stop using it, but stack it with something thats a bit more introspective maybe, definitely not with TS or IC.
Finished my PS and Paragon Cycle today.
So far the Intuitive listening pattern has worked pretty good, I have not felt overexposed, nor particularly into recon symptoms. Results on the other hand seems to flow naturally.
Results from PS manifest more quickly and obviously that Paragon, to me thatās expected.
Im embracing a life style thats rooted in freedom and authenticity. Which implies knowing myself enough to understand what is it that gives me freedom and whats true and honest to me. It also implies the learning of how to express it and the ability to set boundaries and respect those boundaries myself, before enforcing them on the outside, with other people.
Its been fun to notice how every single woman I know tries to change my boundaries and how before I let them do that.
Now Im naturally expressing an attitude of this is how I live, you are free to like it and be around me, or dislike it and find someone elseā¦ Im ok either way.
Im not looking to change you or convince you of anythingā¦ I simply ask for the same thing in return.
The more challenging side of PS is that Im becoming way more social, nothing wrong with that. The thing is that in my mind social goes hand in hand with drinking and Ive been enjoying alcohol a liiiiitle bit to much.
Stage II
Emotional Discernment
Disciplined Growth
Mental Clarity
I will use the next 3 to5 days of rest to revaluate the next stack, since I want to focus on the skills mentioned.