Day 14 ~ rest
I woke up feeling inspired to take a hatha yoga class at 9 AM. I got ready and was out the door in just 30 minutes! It felt like a perfect complement to the other two classes I attended this week.
I definitely noticed some curious stares at the gym!
Before heading into yoga, I filmed a YouTube short.
Right now, I’m working on being more tenderhearted. I can sometimes come off like a bulldog, which might seem protective or defensive to others. This behavior might stem from a need to prove myself or to keep people at a distance to avoid getting hurt. Or perhaps there’s something deeper influencing it.
It’s mostly with specific people.
I can be tenderhearted with some people more than others.
Unlocking Your Mind: The 12 Disciples as Keys to Manifestation 
Neville Goddard viewed the 12 disciples as symbolic representations of the mental faculties essential for personal creation and manifestation. Each disciple corresponds to a specific aspect of the mind that helps shape reality through focused thought and belief. Together, they illustrate the internal dynamics of human consciousness.
Neville emphasized that understanding and harmonizing these faculties can lead to effective manifestation. They serve as tools and powers within us that can aid in achieving our goals or, if mismanaged (as seen with Judas Iscariot), hinder our progress.
In essence, the 12 disciples embody the multifaceted nature of the mind, highlighting the interplay of faith, will, love, perception, and self-awareness in the creative journey.
The 12 Disciples and Their Meanings:
Peter: Represents faith and belief. He embodies the foundational aspect of trusting in one’s vision and the power of imagination.
James: Symbolizes willpower and determination. He reflects the drive to act on one’s beliefs and make choices that align with one’s desires.
John: Represents love and intuition. John embodies a deeper understanding of interconnectedness and the intuitive guidance that arises from love.
Andrew: Signifies the ability to manifest ideas. He represents the process of bringing thoughts into reality through action and intention.
Philip: Embodies reason and understanding. He symbolizes the intellectual faculties that help clarify and analyze one’s beliefs.
Bartholomew (Nathanael): Represents perception and insight. He reflects the ability to see beyond appearances and grasp deeper truths.
Matthew: Symbolizes organization and structure. He represents the capacity to arrange thoughts and plans systematically for effective manifestation.
Thomas: Represents doubt and skepticism. While seen as a challenge, this trait ultimately leads to a deeper exploration of faith and understanding.
James the Less: Embodies humility and self-awareness. He reflects the importance of being grounded and recognizing one’s limitations.
Simon the Zealot: Represents passion and enthusiasm. He signifies the fiery energy that drives one to pursue goals with vigor.
Thaddeus (Judas, son of James): Symbolizes the subconscious mind. He reflects the deeper, often hidden motivations that influence behavior and decision-making.
Judas Iscariot: Represents betrayal and self-sabotage. He symbolizes the inner conflict that arises when one’s beliefs or desires are undermined by doubt or fear, illustrating the challenge of remaining true to one’s higher self.
Day 15 ~ RoM full loop
I imagined being my friend who is a really good drummer, felt into doing something on the drums, which was followed by me nailing it on the drums! That was really cool. 
I’m getting a bit annoyed by some of the attention and chattiness from other people who I am not making money from. Dang! I turn my phone to airplane mode and do work instead.
I pulled a card today that fits my current energy.
I’ve got a pretty busy schedule today. Teaching a private yin yoga class, discovery call with a potential client, coaching call and then a pedicure appointment.
My teenager has been getting on my nerves a bit which is to be expected when raising a teenage boy as a single mom.
I’ve been thinking into the future feeling some anxiety. Where I am from is not the totality of where I am going though. I have to remind myself of that. My parent’s mistakes don’t need to be my own. I may have been going that way before which doesn’t have to continue in that direction.
I’ve just gotta keep moving in the direction of my desires, knowing that my vision is meeting my drive. To keep following the sounds of my inspiration and enthusiasm. To keep exploring the edges of my courage, self acceptance and leadership. I am a success and will continue to succeed.
That inner critic can be a little see you next Tuesday sometimes though! 
Day 16 ~ rest
Been having conversations with my good friend about risk taking, and I called her a daredevil! 
I spent some time reading peoples experiences of that subliminal yesterday, and I’m super excited to bring it on long-term.
I feel like I’m gonna end up listening to the following stack for the rest of the year:
SB
DD
Seductress
I don’t recall my dreams past couple nights which feels nice! A little break from vivid and semi lucid dreamland.
I booked a consult with a therapist trained in EMDR & Parts Work. Curious to see how that helps me with this next phase of my journey. My other therapist closed his practice officially this month. He was great!
I’ve done a lot of trauma healing over the past 4 years, yet I feel there’s some specific events that I could probably use more support with.
Those go really well together me. Sometimes my parts don’t like direct EMDR. Sometimes they make themselves more known during it as well. Very interested to see how it goes for you!
I know one part of me will have some resistance
The know it all who doesn’t need help 
I love how often you change your profile pictures. Almost as often as I change my underwear 
I was feeling a bit spicy and this photo seems more fitting!
I hate spicy food, when I go to Indian or Mexican restaurants I always tell them no to spicy ingredients. But it is just me.
I grew up eating spicy food
Lol. I’ve got one of those too
Day 17 ~ SB full loop
I’ve decided that I need to reduce my daily caffeine intake. I’ve been drinking more than usual past few months. I ordered a variety of herbal tea blends. I enjoy my mushroom coffee but with the addition of a nespresso machine I’m drinking too much espresso!
A woman looked star struck when she walked past me at the cafe.
Day 18 ~ rest day
I’ve been noticing how most of my parts have become mostly harmonized and content with the way things are going, while my manager part seems to be in my awareness a lot right now. I am noticing when it’s her trying to run the show rather than my core true self.
I was inspired to review parts work last night while sharing with a friend who hasn’t explored this work before.
My manager part has softened a lot without the other protectors so heavily involved. She is beginning to trust me more. I am curious how old she is. I am gonna connect with her more. I think I was subtly avoiding and distracting myself from her.
She’s been the know it all, perfectionist type, who doesn’t wanna be wrong or vulnerable. Who doesn’t think she needs help. Probably doesn’t want help because she may be seen as incompetent or go through those same icky feelings all over again.
I remember struggling with math concepts in grades 4/5 when some major trauma happened in my home. My baby sister almost died resulting in major surgery. My dad, who is a math and science genius would try and help me. This created a lot of resistance and I felt stupid.
I was very creative and intuitive. Very vivid imagination. I wanted my dad’s acceptance and approval, which likely created some cognitive dissonance, and the people pleasing started.
This part of me may potentially be around 10-12 years old. Could explain the challenges I’ve been up against with my 11 year old daughter!
I’m excited for this deeper exploration. No more avoiding!
Edit: my boobs feel like they are a cup size bigger
I’m having to grapple with a 3 year old and below, down to the womb issues, there’s no personal stories associated at that age, no cognition that can be intellectualized to help me right now, it’s mostly breath and body work for me, to let these frozen energetic imprints release from my body, it’s slow and painful, I signed up for this before coming to this earth, not complaining, my life is incredible in so many ways.
I’m 34 and because of this I feel closer to a teenager/whiny child in my psyche than an emperor daddy, while also feeling the gigantic maturity of my deeper self, I’m getting closer and closer to reintegrate those parts fully but damn what a work.
Thanks for being who you are which allows me the space to be comfortable sharing this here.
You are so tough and so loving, I can’t wait to be able like you to guide others on their journey, blessings sister 
Last listening day of this cycle ~ RM full loop
I decided to go to the lingerie store and get measured for bra size and I did in fact go up a cup size!
Time to replace my bras. I’ll credit the support from Seductress and Helen of Troy for this!
I’m definitely feeling more chatty today with strangers at the mall.
I brought a pair of leggings to Lululemon and they replaced them free.
I had to draw a line with a client today, which felt very empowering!
Welp, I see my patterns atm. Experiencing some recon. Looking forward to washing out starting tomorrow!
Having some clarity!
Wash out begins!!! I was having a lot of dream activity throughout the night.
I woke up early on my own without an alarm on my “sleep in” day. Got my butt up and moving freely to get whatever’s going on in there to process.
I did a fascial movement release geared towards full body for stress release when I got up. I noticed some tense spots in my mouth, so I did some trigger point release.
I thoroughly enjoyed sitting outside with the sunrise while I sipped on my mushroom coffee. Planted my feet in the cold grass for a while.
This recon creeped up on me!
My moon time is coming in 3-4 days, which could explain things hormonally that contribute to my emotional and mental state atm.
I find the luteal phase closer to moon time can sometimes be when recon hits me the hardest if I’m not eating the right foods or staying as hydrated as I need to be.
Seeing some patterns that need to melt or dissolve away with love!
