Will update my draft, it will probably synergize with The Academic.
Might have tested the synergy before in a previous custom but I can’t remember got it played out. Might have to dig through my journals later.
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Gym
First week into it and seems not working out till failure in the gym is the better choice. Tomorrow is a leg day to close the week out.
Energy Effect
Work today was something else. Playfulness and joy were on steroids. Not just from me but anlso everyone else.
This usually happens on Wanted, but the shift in state in others happens when they encounter me, more like I’m the origin and then it spreads. I literally feel it and can see it.
Today was different. I stepped into the building and the state change happened for everyone at the same time, remained consistent, even when not in close proximity to me. And remained so for as long as I was in the building.
The best way to describe it is resonance. I didn’t have to spread my state, aura or energy. The environment recognized I stepped in and simply attuned itself to mine. No perceived energy drain.
This redefinition of state and energy is most likely an expression of GG. This is interesting given that I haven’t used it in about a week
Body Recalibration
Suddenly got into a yawning fit that lasted over two hours, till i shed tears and my jaw started hurting, had to massage them.
I’m about to sleep and the yawning still continues
Wanted specific Results
- grooming and health practices coming back on
- scramble washed my hair, came out the shower and my already receding hairline looked like I’m almost fresh out the barbers shop?
- One girl kept staring at me like “we were supposed to know each other but I acted like I didn’t” ran through my memory and I don’t remember her face from anywhere.
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GG 1:00, Wanted 00:15
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Huhhh?
When did I start thinking of and living my life in 3-4 month seasons?
Planned this out time over time, never worked, but now it’s just a thing?
Going further, there’s a stream of continuity of one season streaming into the next, naturally.
Going another step, these seasons seem to be following a much grander picture of 8-16 months cycles. And they all seem to fall in place?
Like they’re properly planned giving room for all I’ll learn in one season or like each season expands what I can access, then the next leverages that.
Now that I think about it, both options seem to be true.
Now that I see it, it been happening for two years and I see it happening right now.
As I’m writing this, the thing going through my mind is “all that’s required is more patience in the right places and iterating more efficiently, faster”
Classic me of this moment.
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Precognition for the win.
I’m going through an interview now. I woke up this morning and realized I’ve seen the meeting scenarios somewhere before, I had a dream about it in January.
Back then I didn’t understand, but now I do. However, I don’t know how this will end.
Value and Status
Also the acceptance of my inherent value is extremely strong.
- I’m not lowering myself in anyway.
- I’m actually comfortable communicating in a way that reflects this.
- Appointnments have to work both ways. I was irked when the first one was spontaneously decided by the other party. Considered raising it up, but decided to give room for more grace.
I find that I’m not desperately clinging on to people of value. Something I struggled with, after meeting a potential celebrity in the past.
- I’m either who you’re looking for or I’m not, and both cases are fine.
- I’d rather have a good relationship, even if we don’t get to work together. However, if it doesn’t go both ways, I’m out.
- You might currently offer more value than me, but I am confident in my ability to find success of a similar scale, if not more, with or without you
At this point, I think I might washout ASBR/DoR indefinitely😂
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Mistakenly deleted the draft I had open since yesterday when writing the previous post. Anyway here’s an expansion on one of the points, had a dream emphasizing it.
Layers of awareness
I’m becoming very aware of even deeper levels of processing and this awareness is beginning to stretch into my dreams.
In last nights dream I was operating on different levels of awareness, that seem deeper and parallel at the same time. Each layer had a mix of conscious and subconscious, in the sense that the subconcious does the bulk of the work and the conscious still completely experiences and regulates everything happening.
Each layer was delegated tasks on a turn-by-turn, basis for them to work on.
One layer I remember was delegated to test and expand my ability to regulate arousal during sex—I was having sex and trying not to bust. And as I moved to other layers I could still feel every aspect of having sex in ultra HD, pulling out at some points.
I honestly couldn’t gauge how deep I was in awareness layers. But as I moved to other layers the earlier ones gradually became set on autopilot and mostly forgotten. Hence, why it felt like I was progressing from deeper to surface layers.
Anyway woke up in the middle of the night and realized my mission to not bust was not completely successful, and I’m not consciously aware of how much improvement happened in that area.
The interesting thing is that for every layer I was there, consciously deciding what to delegate to it. However, everything was forgotten upon waking up.
It’s possible that the part about sex was most likely retained because there was a physical anchor to it.
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What does it mean to be a force of nature?
It is to be one who has such mastery over success that they can find success in any endeavor regardless of medium, vehicle, resources or situation.
What does it mean to embody such a person?
Not what the person can do, not competence, not who you know. Something deeper.
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Expanding more on layers of Awareness.
I find that there are four base conscious layers that usually run in my day-to-day life. It’s like four different people experiencing the same exact moment, but each with their own pattern/mode of interpretation, and yet still communicating significantly with each other.
Present
Right there in the moment, wants to be grounded/anchored in something—event, mind or body (slowly progressing into the body). Experiencing and giving genuine reactions, most of the time dancing for no reason.
Somehow, without this one everything else don’t seem to work properly—information intake is unregulated, analysis tends towards the more darker aspects, state is “off/overloaded” and I feel disconnected from myself.
This layer saw improvements from RoM, EB, Sanguine, Primal and Wanted
Analysis
Processes cues & patterns - language & speech, behavioral, inferences, frames, sub-communication. This used to be directed towards my external environment, but since Khan, it has also been directed towards me in the sense that I’m aware of what I’m communicating most of the time, and, with ASBR, drives me towards clear articulation.
This is an aspect that grew extremely fast early in my life and used to be extremely out of control. Once something has been figured out, I either try to embody or absolutely lose interest in it.
It was also a major unknown contributor to my empathetic modeling, trying to take on and absorb emotions of my environment. GLM and Wanted contributed here, in the sense that I can more easily mute this layer at will.
Energy observation
Goes one step beyond the previous one, this one filters out for energy, both internal and external. Currently the most interesting one and still under observation.
I first noticed this with my Overhaul(Emperor + Sanguine) custom in Jan 2024, where I started monitoring tension in the moment and relaxing.
Then had further development with Khan, KB and GLM.
Overseer/World interaction
This one is more akin to a presence that observes the model itself and decides how to react. It integrates every other layer into one, identifying stories, narratives, internal world architecture, beliefs, insecurities, structure, gaps, cause and effect into one. This has seen so much development from my run of QL St3&4, E:AoW, Khan, KB, GLM and ASBR.
In terms of layers, this one has been very active too since I was a kid. Got to the point where I wanted to shut it off if I couldn’t generate anything concrete that will improve my life. Caught further glimpses of this around September, in a way that aligns with my life vision. Decided to directly work with using BL in DoR and also attempting to work with using GG
This layer has expressed itself in so many ways
- Literally piercing through someone’s world, like I see through them to the point that it feels intrusive at times.
- Seeing through manipulation
- Calling my awareness to every decision I make, which allows me to give permission. I still give permission to the not so beneficial stuff
- Expanding awareness of my own world, mirrored both ways
- Some Insane level of kinesthetic awareness
- Acts as an overseer in the sense that it makes me an aware of the conflict generated when I try to violate my moral presets.
- Reading the flow of energy and trends. Predicted the rise of some content creators, social/culture/political/tech/financial trends. All going off of very bare information.
Extra notes
Felt extremely restless writing some parts of this post.
My awareness got pulled to the subs that helped me deepen certain layers, along with the desire to note them in the post.
As I was writing the post, I was jamming to music while articulating and letting some parts of it come to me. Both didn’t distract the signal from each other as much as before. Normally, I’d have to disconnect from the music to process.
I don’t really understand all these, just observing and noting down. AND loving whatever’s happening.
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GG Results
First was revisiting and expanding my previous sub experiences.
Then giving me more access to those aspects of myself, at will.
Then, guidance on stack plan, skincare, gym, healthcare, work and general lifestyle balance; putting out some immediate issues.
Then re-introduction/recognition of paradox in my dreams and daily life.
Then energetic expansion.
Then now layers of awareness.
It’s been back to back streams of insights along with organic implementation and I’m not even sure it’s been up to a month.
I’m supposed to be studying but I can’t help this excitement. I don’t even want to imagine what four months down the line with this looks like.
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ASBR 00:05, Wanted 00:05
Another successful round of interview. However for some reason I’m angry, very angry.
There’s a constant desire to reject this potential opportunity, despite the opportunity not having fully unveiled itself, simply because what has been revealed doesn’t completely align with my plans.
Then there’s impatience for more results, for the point where I can confidently say there is no difference between me and the me I intend to embody this season.
Actually, I feel incomplete and I desperately want to be complete.
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If you had the gift to find your way towards a goal, not just once, but forever, would you take it?
So many things to accomplish, to do, to experience, too little time.
Who would have thought expanding the timeframe would come with more problems to grow through?
Almost like patience is never enough.
I think I might need another walk.
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Perhaps, I can expand my time to the max. However, that’s putting the cart before the horse.
How can you scale when there is no structure? I mean you aren’t using what you have properly.
What will you do with that extra time?
That’s asking for new problems to grow through, when I haven’t even cleared my table. An endless recursion.
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My answer is yes, no buts, no more questions. Gain the ability to not just see structure but create it, to live it, at will. The ability to ignite momentum even when everything is razed to the ground. Do that once and the rest of it is history, only adaptation will remain.
Somehow, this is still related to rejection to sacrifice. One borne of impatience and perceived lack of abundance. It’s coming together already, but I won’t express it yet.
Realization dropped almost immediately, now waiting for my being to actually catch up.
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Besides the recon filled day that was yesterday, here are some updates
Dominance
The dominance from ASBR is blending into something more primal, almost Khan like.
However, I’m certain this is ASBR because the essence is different from that of Khan, this is something closer to a sense of exclusivity—one among others, yet set apart for excellence and radiance.
Romance
With the dominance readjusting now, the attraction hits are coming in and they seem more like pure attraction. Also getting a very strong push to approach, even in recon.
With such internal focus on vision and success, most people can’t fathom the potential and vision you hold, something deemed impossible and tied to a lot of deep subconscious structures. .
Just your presence triggers something very innate relating to success in them, which is very hard to spot and easier for them to avoid by subconsciously interpreting it as a repulsion/loss of attraction.
Without the ancillary effects of fame and popularity, it takes a very specific type of person to resonate in a purely romantic sense, someone with a configuration for grand vision and success in some form, even if they’re not conscious of it.
There’s only one such person I’ve encountered like that, she approached me first, out of the blue and kept coming back, which was interesting, especially when others were repelled. She’s not like how the classic “elite” is portrayed but her vibe is almost like she has success and wealth flowing through her veins.
I’m guessing this is why some users struggled to fully express ASBR standalone in romantic contexts.
Internal State
ASBR is really dominating here, but it seems like it’s being reinterpreted. There’s a softening going on. Which is very much welcomed.
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This is basically the same guy wearing a different disguise.
Now, I understand why my wall was working on overtime. Same thing as last time, but I chose to ignore it. Not this time.
On the next level, I’m going to request for clarity from the get go, and if something as basic as that can’t be provided, I’m out the door.
I think for me, I might also be unintentionally projecting my personal standards onto other people. It’s the first thing I noticed on Inner Circle and immediately started fixing. You holding yourself to some standard will always reflect itself onto other people, at least a little. Since the self-critic you have will also be there when other people do things. Since it’ll probably always exist in some form, I’m trying to at least hide it under layers of easygoingness so that’s what’ll primarily interact with the other person.
I’m hoping IC puts me around some people like this. It’s so nice being equals or worse than your friends/partner because it literally forces you to level up to match them. Virtually everyone I’ve manifested I’ve grown away from feeling like we weren’t really compatible anymore.
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The projection of personal standards is really real. I’ve noticed mine for a while now and I’ve tried to use the same solution as you—easygoingness. Unfortunately, it made me feel like a dancing clown, which caused a significant amount of recon on Khan St2. I wasn’t genuine to myself and others.
I found that it doesn’t work and I genuinely have to move to a state where I like people and find them fascinating for me to socially open up, even if the projection is still going on. More like I see the flaws and love them regardless.
In relation to romance, I was mostly looking at it from the perspective of why most previous form of attraction suddenly gets disconnected, like they just lose interest in you, something @praisetheurdtree also experienced moving between WB and ASBR.
But experiencing more of how the subconscious and reality works a bit more, I can bet the projection plays into it, combined with the intense focus, there’s a possibility of subconsciously disqualifying them from participating in your reality in a romantic sense or them picking it up energetically and then disqualifying themselves.
Also, it’s hard to see someone that “judges” (on something as deep as success) you in way, as attractive.
Also, how’s your experience been on IC?
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I’m trying to gamify it a bit more, kind of taking the perspective that I don’t care if they’re disqualified, they just failed some hidden reality game. I got hit hard yesterday with the easygoing bit betraying my truer personality.
IC is nice, it’s feeling a little freeing. Partly because it’s getting used to help with the social stuff and helping me find what I don’t really care about. Might be working with ASBR a bit since I feel like the effort and work required for things come naturally now, so I genuinely do get to care less. Manifestations are pretty good, so I don’t really want to drop it since those are another benefit. Eventually I’ll probably throw them in a long-term custom together that I run alongside whatever else my stack is.
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I always looked up, ahead, considering that my current situation wasn’t permanent, insignificant compared to the grand vision I always had.
With such perspective, sacrificing the thing that don’t matter is only natural, right?
However, how isn’t it important? In this case, what is being sacrificed isn’t drag, but the present moment itself. There’s a difference and that’s one personally misunderstood for all my life.
One is letting go of what no longer serves, the other not living at all, embodying the disposition that nothing else will matter once growth comes.
I never truly consolidated, never owned, embodied, received or accepted whatever was given to me.
And then it’s a wonder why letting go was virtually impossible.
It’s like good food you’ve always desired and needed is offered, every time, but each time, it’s never tasted, in an attempt at delayed gratification.
And then you try to bin everything, with the intent to set up a better table? Even if the current table is what paves the way for the next one?
What utter bullshit!!! What happens if the next table is set?
You can’t get to the future without living through the present. The same way you can never truly receive more without being a good steward, and, you can never learn to steward without first receiving.
How do you expect to trade with one face of a coin?
Reality has played its card before you, perhaps, it always did.
As the Dice Man, what hand will you show us?
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GG 1:00, Wanted 00:30 on 17/04/26
General
Wanted still remains the best social sub for me and combined with ASBR, there is only one description— unstopable magnetic flow. and it’s beginning to veer close to seduce reality territory Attention flows wherever I go, my presence becomes more akin to a blessing.
Unsurprisingly, I’m becoming more comfortable with it. In the energetic sense, I’m getting a hang of “opening up and letting the celebrity effect flow” because I’m having way more experiences that help me practice more frequently. Exactly what I need.
About two weeks ago I was much more predisposed to staying “closed” even though I could “open” up.
Wealth
Regarding this
Turned it down and did it with grace. I’m filled with gratitude that I can turn down an opportunity because of an lack of alignment and I didn’t appreciate the other party wanting to be treated like a god. Wrong person.
Romance
Previous romantic interest been acting up recently. Making “unobvious” attempts to get me to engage her again. Can’t really blame her though, it’s me we’re talking about here.
On another note, arousal is through the roof, almost constantly, regardless of engagement. It’s to the point where I have to negotiate with my erections so I don’t have to worry in public spaces.
Others
With regards to my stack I’m pondering a choice between majors or customs that give more specificity
Also, there still seems to be a need for something that gives me more agency in terms of “driving” the social/communication aspects. Like DD:TS or S&S
Ascension: St1 is a big contender to break my stack. It’s direct script base for my overall focus now but the trade-off being that momentum and familiarity with ASBR is cut.
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