Sexual energy gradually returning to baseline today. Not felt horny today, but just felt the usual activation in my abdomen area.
Also having a bad bellyache, could be what I ate last night though.
For the man who sacrificed his entire life to see others happy.
Are you willing to sacrifice your very soul to see others happy?
I am one of you, and stand amongst you all.
But I desire excellence, a brilliant fragment, the best of all, undeniably beyond competition. Naturally, this excellence elevates.
Can I be above the people whilst still remaining amongst the people? Or do I have to sacrifice one for the other? Or is there any of them that is just a facade?
I don’t know.
Same problem concept, different levels and angles.
I’ve been getting the feeling to move to the next phase, which is focused on embodying identity. This phase might not have GLM and KB might take a longer time (2 months) to come back in.
I feel like I haven’t used either of them enough and I’m unwilling to let them go.
But I’ve decided, I’ll chill on the next phase and move my focus to wealth for the next two months. Already had an app idea from two months back, but it needs more fleshing out.
Didn’t remember this until now
But I just checked and I can access the memories again. Some interesting stuff.
Going through @Malkuth journal after stockpiling and I found this
I read through it and immediately my mind began to express how this applies for me, so I’m going to try expressing it as much as I currently can.
For me I find that trying to draw lines of causality, feeds into my nature of trying to behold the entirety of reality—see/understand/observe/know—which is a nice trait but also serve as a huge limiter when I can’t satisfy it.
I had to understand that everything is interconnected (mirrored too) and inevitably has a part to play, and drawing seemingly clear lines of influence are never accurate, which will inevitably distort the truth of what you behold. It is also a big source of pain when what I try to behold naturally eludes me. So I’m learning to let go, believing that everything contributes and ultimately happens for my sake—contributes to my journey. I let it be for the most part.
However, being able to observe causality is still important both subjectively and objectively, especially when trying to observe patterns for practical purposes.
So how can both perspectives be true and upheld at the same time?
Degrees of influence, everything has a part to play, with some more than others, for any given form of expression. Observing this is heavily influenced by the current limit of the individual’s awareness. From here you can see contributors, get more depth in understanding and be able to apply them in practice.
I think it’s also one of the reasons why internal work comes in cycles, levels, each with different perspectives. You think “something” was responsible for a certain behavior, it gets resolved and you then realize there’s more.
Never thought about this before, but it seems this has been my subconscious approach, I’m only now putting it in words. This has been applied to experimentation, self-exploration, to external exploration (people, outcomes etc). Every form of expression have become windows to behold contributing forces.
Funny I didn’t see this before.
Practicality of mastery—achievement and self development
Achievement markers vs self dev goals
Achievement markers may seem like self development, but they are not. They are the outcomes of levers being pulled, however they are pulled. Self development is the unraveling of essence, the embodiment of your best self.
Achievement markers involve playing a game, honing your craft, competing, winning, conquering perhaps, but it remains a game with rules not born of your decision. Yet, and in the process of playing any game, you step into the hallway of self development, for you must embody that which deserves the achievement you desire.
Self development, often the long arduous part of self embodiment, honed within the confines of your being, never flashy, the journey most realize they were on towards its very end. It will often be overlooked, it will reflect in every aspect of your being, but only a few in the world will truly understand. Hitting achievement markers becomes the norm, so easy that you might find more pleasure in self embodiment. And now, we’re back here again.
They both involve each other and cannot truly be separated.
However, I choose to cultivate self embodiment because true mastery of life is what I desire. Conquering achievement markers is simply a consequence of my existence.