The Conqueror’s Bliss: Prelude

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#74

20s Khan St3 + 20s EB yesterday.

I remember the first time I ran EB, over two years ago, I had quite the dream.

Much different from today. Except unlike my other dreams where I’m semi-lucid or completely forget, this one too was hyper realistic and lucid.

Woke up this morning from a dream where I was almost killed, but I refused to die (barebones summary).

The entirety of today, I felt apathetic. The internal tension I get in my body, reminiscent of Khan St1, was mildly present today, I’m sure something deep was triggered. I have a guess, but no conclusions yet.

#75

I was reasing the dream story as you edited lol

#76

The sky was amber, fragmented islands floating around and ether in the air, it definitely wasn’t earth. Yet I was there, present, standing in full regality, amongst gods. Like a part of some grand council.

A burly giant with beards knotted into a pigtail stepped forward Mjolnir in hand, lighting emanating from both eyes and body, he proclaimed himself Thor and we couldn’t doubt his identity. He was powerful.

He pranced around seeking a challenger, and then……we locked eyes. A knowing smile crept on our faces. My being was ignited, an arcane song was chanted, with tribal drums to go, like some arcane soundtrack.

Our gigantic frames began moving, we were attracted, like meteors destined for impact. I stepped into the circle, wielding my beauty in hand — a long sword etched with ancient runes, not glittering, not broad, it felt dark, slender, yet rife with its own stories told in legends; sheer magnificence.

Ecstasy raced through my body, it was on. I desired to lose myself, in fact, I took pleasure in such indulgence. Even I might have labeled myself a maniac.

We had a duel to remember and all bore witness as I drove my beauty through his chest, even his father watched. THOR HAD LOST.

The next part turned darker, so I’ll leave it here for now.

Also, the dream was hyper hyper realistic and lucid.

#77

Reposted :joy:.

Thought it better to separate them, as I didn’t want to take away from the context of my recon from the first post.

#78

Before I got on my current stack, I knew exactly what my next step was for the better part of the past 3-4 weeks. AoW showed me how disconnected I was from my shadow and how alignment cannot proceed without me integrating with it.

I resolved myself, to give the sub free rein, to kill/bulldoze anything that will prevent that from happening.

Now I get this

But I fought to keep what was supposed to die.
Although, I’m not sure if that’s the full story, but as always, I’ll know with time.

#79

@AnswerGroup @Forum_Ambassadors thought this might bee important.

I’ve observed three ways I use to consciously aid the reconciliation process. I didn’t study or reason to develop them. The practices naturally happened, and, have become more frequent now. I can just observe and understand them a little more better.

Mindful Physical Engagement

The true takeaway here is tapping into the physical body to balance the inner world.

Engaging physical activities that give the opportunity to slow down and be mindful. If you find yourself rushing to get this done, that in itself could be avoidance. Consciously make an effort to sit in it, to be there, engaging the activity.

And no, I’m not saying to do this in physical work that requires focus and performance. The type I’m talking of are things like house chores, exercise or even taking a bath. I think qigong also applies this medium.

This engages the body and coupled with the mindfulness generated, the mind receives more room to operate/introspect and it gets easier to resolve the recon. Don’t be surprised if you get absorbed, then later realize your body has been moving on autopilot for some time

I suspect this could be a reason why “shower thoughts” are a thing. And I’m 100% sure there’s an energetic aspect to it, but I can’t explain yet.

I’ve been applying this unconsciously since as far back as 2018, but since I used Genesis+DR:LD, this practically became a habit.

Creative Expression

Writing, making music, art etc. I know this used to be one of Saint’s preferred modes, before qigong slapped the shit out of it :joy:.

This attempts to captures the essence of the internal world and then externalize it in the external world. The act alone improves self understanding on a fundamental level (as that is required to be able to externalize with depth), which is usually enough to process most of the recon.

With the added benefit of being able to observe/dissect elements of the expressed, which can then be mirrored back inside to better understand what truly needs your attention. It has an extra layer of expressing the creator within. Plus another layer of appreciation, as you have created something truly beautiful.

This also, started becoming a habit on my first two-month run of Genesis+DR:LD

Singing & Dancing

Singing & dancing is a combination of externalizing the inner world coupled with the somatic component of processing.

I’ve observed that for this, the music must fit your mood, else it becomes trying to use music to force a state shift, I.e attempting to avoid facing yourself.

This serves as a kind of “shock therapy” both to the inner world and to the body. Emotional body is highly engaged, the body is engaged, your “voice” is proclaimed, the mind is given more room to operate and the inner work in that moment is externalized in a very primal way. The major outcome is that “stuck” states are forced to move and be processed, surprisingly naturally, giving room for clarity and integration.

And you guessed it, Genesis+DR:LD set the foundation for this. I spammed sorrowful songs, mourning the “me” that was trapped in limits.

This gave me the understanding that in the bigger picture, there were truly no negative, positive, higher or lower emotions. The emotions become detrimental in two ways, when they get stuck and they aren’t allowed to flow just the way they were meant to. And when you can’t wield them for your desires.

The game is simply congruency and alignment on your journey. The peaks and troughs are all part of it.

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Main Disc. Thread - Genesis ZP
#80

Well done!

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#81

Thank you

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#82

I’m desperate because I feel I lack practical abundance.

And out of that desperation, conformity is born.

Hoping to receive more, by being like the masses that perpetually thirst?

Useless logic.

Abundance always resides with the differentiated, the congruent, the unique, the unyielding. Those that refuse to conform.

How can I accept abundance, when I remain like this?

Despite the desire to be far beyond any competition?

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#83

For the longest time I’ve felt behind the curve of the grand vision I’ve envisioned for myself. I’ve always wondered “when will I ever grow out of the foundation building stage?”

But now I understand—the grand skies are present because the earth holds them in place. The foundation is refined forever, going deeper, till it becomes formless. The dreams I desire are the external expression of my foundation.

2 years ago, my world broke so hard and I was forced to learn to stop living through force. Actually, at my core that happened over 10 years ago. But then I couldn’t understand, I fragmented myself in so many places, locked them up, cultivated apathy and disdain for my reality, refusing to face myself.

I couldn’t keep living like that. I learnt to be free. But then I realized “I’m not the shark I used to be” but that shark was not mine, neither was it me. It was something molded my parents’ opinions and desires for me. And that shark died over ten years ago.

My reality was made to be grand, I couldn’t sleep in peace while being plagued with desire. I need to be a shark, something fully me, born out of alignment with who I am and solely for the conquest of my desires. I set my sights on my goal and embarked on a journey, one where most fear to thread, THE KHAN.

It’s been about seven months. Yet, my external reality still isn’t grand. But compared to what it was before this? Night and day. To have what I considered days of flow as normal now. I was pecking the bottom of the barrel hoping to be fed, unsatisfied, yet accepting that as life. How foolish, but that in itself is part of my journey.

I took a mostly hands off approach, to let my journey just happen for a while. It turned Internal and culminated in one statement “My reality is mine, I desire it’s fullness and I will live it as so. Everything within it happens for my sake” and from that poured changes in my external reality

  • People need my permission in interactions
  • Likeability almost through the roof
  • Ease of life experience. Getting what I want is easier.
  • Women can’t help themselves
  • Opportunities for social experiences
  • More income
  • Communication changed (still recalibrating)

All I desired, but most I didn’t/couldn’t capitalize on as I believed I shouldn’t accept such abundance due to a lack of skill, or, denying the parts of me that truly desired my desires.

With all these, the next step is clear as day.

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#84

New Season

1. Internal

• Fully unveil my shadow, embrace it, lean into and integrate it.

  • Become a full fledged shark mentally, with the drive to conquer life
    • Cultivate my capacity for obsession with my goals. One point focus, no fucks given.
  1. External
Foundations cultivated daily
  • New physical and mental training integrated as habits
  • A structured framework of my day, with room my new habits.
Financial sustenance

Despite all the manifestation, I still find myself in survival mode, the structure for manifestation set in place (job) falls short of what I require to take my life to the next level.

  • Financial capacity to support my new lifestyle
  • Set the foundation for my wealth journey
  • Focused on building skills that directly translate into better income

In summary
• Shadow Work
• Structure to my daily life that supports my goals & build my lifestyle
• And the rest of my day dedicated to building my finances

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#85

The first focus is bringing structure to my day.

System"
  • Discover new practices
  • Practicalise
  • Select non-negotiables (necessary ones)
  • Chunk into brain dead routines
  • Fit into calendar for day framework.
  • Recycle same framework for other days

My first area of discovery is working with the fascia.

Why?
  • My body is under serious stress internally & externally. It’s like I’m right on the edge of going over, I need a way to release and rebalance.
  • My body sensitivity spiked since I started AoW. When I become aware of body parts, I can tell when something is off and it’s uncomfortable. It’s gotten to the point where I can feel pain radiating from certain points. Body structural alignment is really off.
  • I now believe musculoskeletal training isn’t the full picture.
  • Learning to tap into the body’s innate intelligence.

Week 1 - integrating fascia training for reset and release (human garage)
Week 2 - Integrating fascia training for performance (HFT)

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#86

Rule #1 Attack

The attack doesn’t start from confrontation, it starts way before that. From the first point of discovery, to everything premeditated, to direct enforcement, up until you’re satisfied.

And when you attack, pull out the very earth upon which they stand. Give no room for your target to resist your will.

#87

Now how can I embody this rule towards anything I do in life?

I’m trying to direct it towards my goals now but my focus remains inconsistent.

#88

Been noticing my music taste has been changing since I got on Khan.

Usually I listen to a lot of genres, now my go to are more epic/intense like funk, rock, OSTs (Anime, Hans Zimmer-esque style etc).

All other genres now require very specific moods.

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#89

My love remains undying,
I will break down the gates, regardless of what I become
I give you no limits, for we must be one again
Fully you, yet fully me
A beautiful re-unification
Finally, the time has come
Let fire burn.

First Key: Zero

Khan St3
Emperor Black
Ascension Chamber
Experimental Anti Recon
Synergy: Subconscious Mastery
Synergy: Divine Dominion
Void of Creation
Pragya
Energetic Development XI
The Architect
Inner Gasoline

#90

Spirit distilled into form, with mind as the intermediary.

#91

Updates

Drive & Motivation

Nothing, absolutely none. Big dreams, but no intensity to match. I’m currently having to force myself to do anything and it’s so damn slow.

Although, sometimes my “one voice” comes through like “Boss/Chief, you know you can’t just leave that shit like that right? Remember, it’s all about decisions. What decision will you make right now?”

When I’m working it transitions to “ya boy that’s it, do that shit. Keep doing that shit, And don’t stop“

And if I stop halfway it goes “boy, you no you can’t let yourself stop, you know you want to clear that shit. No stopping it moving on for you till it is done!!!”

Focus?

Absolutely cooked.

Everytime I try to focus on something that isn’t my “job” eg moving forward on my other wealth endeavors or going into research, I end up focusing on something else, because the actual work I need to do is extremely boring.

Energy?

Somehow finds a way to remain neutral all through the day, no spikes, no downs. The only time I realize I’m tired is on downtime, commuting, after meals, bed time and then I must stop engaging and rest. I’m getting the same result I got from EE.

At the moment, I don’t feel/hear/sense the pulsing of energy within my body or around my environment anymore, but I’m still running on one meal a day.

Wealth

This week was supposed to be dry, but more shifts found me again.

Money is still not accumulating, as it gets redirected into purchasing resources and devices, experimenting with nutrition etc.

Social

I get a social burst whenever I’m around people. I just want to have fun and it’s seamless.

Social status hasn’t mattered for quite a while, but now it’s going to another level.

Other Observations

Anger expressed especially through actions. I don’t feel anger to say, but I don’t like being pushed and I act like it.

FK: Zero seems to have considerable fluff, just a hunch for now. I’m considering splitting it in two, but I’m not sure what the second sub will be — R.I.C.H focus or ME focus.

Desire to forsake balance growing

“Power mode” keeps going in and out of focus. Still feels fleeting at the moment.

Habits

Observed my first planned “moment of stillness” today. It wasn’t as deep as the spontaneous ones that just happen during the day.

Finally created a basic template today. It has two days, which repeats from the third day.

Scrapping the HFT work for now. Integrating the fascia reset and release for now, with huge possibility of weight training to return (missing the gym)

Diet has been simplified to bare bones level. Now looking for meal options.

#92

Did my first Fascia exercise yesterday.

  • Instant relief from pain and stress symptoms. It came back after about 2-3 hours, But was way lower than before, and remains so till today.
  • Relaxation and my already deep voice has this sense of serenity.
  • Started laughing mildly, even though nothing was funny.
  • I felt very subtle changes in movement patterns.
  • I got hyper aware of the origin of the pain and observed it being generated in real time.

ALL HABIT MARKERS WERE HIT YESTERDAY, assist from my physical flow work (still searching)

#93
  • Still very social, with even quieter people engaging me.
  • I’m giving less fucks.
  • Women just want to stare at my eyes, even when I have my notorious RBF on. I keep having to break contact as I feel the tension isn’t necessary.

Recon popped in for a visit

  • Desire to listen more
  • To split FK: Zero
  • Add a direct wealth sub