Thank you
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I’m desperate because I feel I lack practical abundance.
And out of that desperation, conformity is born.
Hoping to receive more, by being like the masses that perpetually thirst?
Useless logic.
Abundance always resides with the differentiated, the congruent, the unique, the unyielding. Those that refuse to conform.
How can I accept abundance, when I remain like this?
Despite the desire to be far beyond any competition?
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For the longest time I’ve felt behind the curve of the grand vision I’ve envisioned for myself. I’ve always wondered “when will I ever grow out of the foundation building stage?”
But now I understand—the grand skies are present because the earth holds them in place. The foundation is refined forever, going deeper, till it becomes formless. The dreams I desire are the external expression of my foundation.
2 years ago, my world broke so hard and I was forced to learn to stop living through force. Actually, at my core that happened over 10 years ago. But then I couldn’t understand, I fragmented myself in so many places, locked them up, cultivated apathy and disdain for my reality, refusing to face myself.
I couldn’t keep living like that. I learnt to be free. But then I realized “I’m not the shark I used to be” but that shark was not mine, neither was it me. It was something molded my parents’ opinions and desires for me. And that shark died over ten years ago.
My reality was made to be grand, I couldn’t sleep in peace while being plagued with desire. I need to be a shark, something fully me, born out of alignment with who I am and solely for the conquest of my desires. I set my sights on my goal and embarked on a journey, one where most fear to thread, THE KHAN.
It’s been about seven months. Yet, my external reality still isn’t grand. But compared to what it was before this? Night and day. To have what I considered days of flow as normal now. I was pecking the bottom of the barrel hoping to be fed, unsatisfied, yet accepting that as life. How foolish, but that in itself is part of my journey.
I took a mostly hands off approach, to let my journey just happen for a while. It turned Internal and culminated in one statement “My reality is mine, I desire it’s fullness and I will live it as so. Everything within it happens for my sake” and from that poured changes in my external reality
- People need my permission in interactions
- Likeability almost through the roof
- Ease of life experience. Getting what I want is easier.
- Women can’t help themselves
- Opportunities for social experiences
- More income
- Communication changed (still recalibrating)
All I desired, but most I didn’t/couldn’t capitalize on as I believed I shouldn’t accept such abundance due to a lack of skill, or, denying the parts of me that truly desired my desires.
With all these, the next step is clear as day.
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New Season
1. Internal
• Fully unveil my shadow, embrace it, lean into and integrate it.
- Become a full fledged shark mentally, with the drive to conquer life
• Cultivate my capacity for obsession with my goals. One point focus, no fucks given.
- External
Foundations cultivated daily
- New physical and mental training integrated as habits
- A structured framework of my day, with room my new habits.
Financial sustenance
Despite all the manifestation, I still find myself in survival mode, the structure for manifestation set in place (job) falls short of what I require to take my life to the next level.
- Financial capacity to support my new lifestyle
- Set the foundation for my wealth journey
- Focused on building skills that directly translate into better income
In summary
• Shadow Work
• Structure to my daily life that supports my goals & build my lifestyle
• And the rest of my day dedicated to building my finances
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The first focus is bringing structure to my day.
System"
- Discover new practices
- Practicalise
- Select non-negotiables (necessary ones)
- Chunk into brain dead routines
- Fit into calendar for day framework.
- Recycle same framework for other days
My first area of discovery is working with the fascia.
Why?
- My body is under serious stress internally & externally. It’s like I’m right on the edge of going over, I need a way to release and rebalance.
- My body sensitivity spiked since I started AoW. When I become aware of body parts, I can tell when something is off and it’s uncomfortable. It’s gotten to the point where I can feel pain radiating from certain points. Body structural alignment is really off.
- I now believe musculoskeletal training isn’t the full picture.
- Learning to tap into the body’s innate intelligence.
Week 1 - integrating fascia training for reset and release (human garage)
Week 2 - Integrating fascia training for performance (HFT)
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Rule #1 Attack
The attack doesn’t start from confrontation, it starts way before that. From the first point of discovery, to everything premeditated, to direct enforcement, up until you’re satisfied.
And when you attack, pull out the very earth upon which they stand. Give no room for your target to resist your will.
Now how can I embody this rule towards anything I do in life?
I’m trying to direct it towards my goals now but my focus remains inconsistent.
Been noticing my music taste has been changing since I got on Khan.
Usually I listen to a lot of genres, now my go to are more epic/intense like funk, rock, OSTs (Anime, Hans Zimmer-esque style etc).
All other genres now require very specific moods.
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My love remains undying,
I will break down the gates, regardless of what I become
I give you no limits, for we must be one again
Fully you, yet fully me
A beautiful re-unification
Finally, the time has come
Let fire burn.
First Key: Zero
Khan St3
Emperor Black
Ascension Chamber
Experimental Anti Recon
Synergy: Subconscious Mastery
Synergy: Divine Dominion
Void of Creation
Pragya
Energetic Development XI
The Architect
Inner Gasoline
Spirit distilled into form, with mind as the intermediary.
Updates
Drive & Motivation
Nothing, absolutely none. Big dreams, but no intensity to match. I’m currently having to force myself to do anything and it’s so damn slow.
Although, sometimes my “one voice” comes through like “Boss/Chief, you know you can’t just leave that shit like that right? Remember, it’s all about decisions. What decision will you make right now?”
When I’m working it transitions to “ya boy that’s it, do that shit. Keep doing that shit, And don’t stop“
And if I stop halfway it goes “boy, you no you can’t let yourself stop, you know you want to clear that shit. No stopping it moving on for you till it is done!!!”
Focus?
Absolutely cooked.
Everytime I try to focus on something that isn’t my “job” eg moving forward on my other wealth endeavors or going into research, I end up focusing on something else, because the actual work I need to do is extremely boring.
Energy?
Somehow finds a way to remain neutral all through the day, no spikes, no downs. The only time I realize I’m tired is on downtime, commuting, after meals, bed time and then I must stop engaging and rest. I’m getting the same result I got from EE.
At the moment, I don’t feel/hear/sense the pulsing of energy within my body or around my environment anymore, but I’m still running on one meal a day.
Wealth
This week was supposed to be dry, but more shifts found me again.
Money is still not accumulating, as it gets redirected into purchasing resources and devices, experimenting with nutrition etc.
Social
I get a social burst whenever I’m around people. I just want to have fun and it’s seamless.
Social status hasn’t mattered for quite a while, but now it’s going to another level.
Other Observations
Anger expressed especially through actions. I don’t feel anger to say, but I don’t like being pushed and I act like it.
FK: Zero seems to have considerable fluff, just a hunch for now. I’m considering splitting it in two, but I’m not sure what the second sub will be — R.I.C.H focus or ME focus.
Desire to forsake balance growing
“Power mode” keeps going in and out of focus. Still feels fleeting at the moment.
Habits
Observed my first planned “moment of stillness” today. It wasn’t as deep as the spontaneous ones that just happen during the day.
Finally created a basic template today. It has two days, which repeats from the third day.
Scrapping the HFT work for now. Integrating the fascia reset and release for now, with huge possibility of weight training to return (missing the gym)
Diet has been simplified to bare bones level. Now looking for meal options.
Did my first Fascia exercise yesterday.
- Instant relief from pain and stress symptoms. It came back after about 2-3 hours, But was way lower than before, and remains so till today.
- Relaxation and my already deep voice has this sense of serenity.
- Started laughing mildly, even though nothing was funny.
- I felt very subtle changes in movement patterns.
- I got hyper aware of the origin of the pain and observed it being generated in real time.
ALL HABIT MARKERS WERE HIT YESTERDAY, assist from my physical flow work (still searching)
- Still very social, with even quieter people engaging me.
- I’m giving less fucks.
- Women just want to stare at my eyes, even when I have my notorious RBF on. I keep having to break contact as I feel the tension isn’t necessary.
Recon popped in for a visit
- Desire to listen more
- To split FK: Zero
- Add a direct wealth sub
Speed isn’t power, strength isn’t power.
Power simply is Power
The capacity for your will to exist
The rest are just forms and expressions.
This is different. I can’t really say it’s a slow custom as I started it last Tuesday. And as always there’s results
Synergy: Subconscious Mastery
Just as I suspected, further interconnection within the mind enhances stuff. I got something similar using Merger of Worlds, but this is next level. It’s like my mind literally swallows the sub whole.
There’s more I’m expecting, and I know it might take some time.
Pragya
This is a dense sub, but my mind has more capacity to handle it effortlessly. No mental drain.
The rest of the sub has not been expressing exactly the way I envisioned it. It’s still leaning hard social right now.
I’m still heavy on the opinion that it’s denser than necessary, but I’m concerned splitting it would take from the “wholistic” vision I had for it.
Listened to a full loop of FK-0 today and I can feel the sub unwinding in my mind. Like a tightly twisted spindle unraveling.
Yep, baseline injury healing has gone up. Noticed it for over two months. I sleep and wake up and a deep cut is suddenly closed, with pain drastically reduced.
Rant
Again. Again. Again.
I keep getting spiritual results. This is not what I currently, consciously desire.
Perhaps on a deeper level I desire it, but why now?
It is obvious I’m trying my hardest to ignore it, to return to it at my own timing, at my own convenience, just to prove a point to myself. I know it sounds stupid and mentally the solution is brain dead simple.
But this point I’m trying to prove is currently foundational to everything—my desires, worldview, everything
How can everything within my last two years revolve around this call that I have refused to answer, and the reminders multiply with each day.
Hell, every sub I used within this period has expressed as 90% spiritual, no matter how much I push to embody more.
Is it fate? Is it the way I’ve built myself to be? Is it something grander I’ve refused to accept?
The sadistic part about all these is that I know exactly why—the context, the timing, the reminders. I know that I’m my path needlessly difficult. It makes utmost sense. Even complaining is ultimately useless.
I just don’t want to conform to a plan not of my own conscious making.
I want to cuss—at the spirit, at my free will, at everything created. Yet I am still. I feel my heart beating, I feel my body—no agitation perceived I write all these with a straight face, trying to find harmony, but refusing to accept it.
I desired to reconcile the darkest part of my being, not my spirit, yet my hand will soon be forced.
An almost disgusting paradox.
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Rant over.
Now, how can I unify my spiritual desires with my material desires?
Consciously, I would argue that they are two parts of the same coin and I will win that argument.
Now, it is obvious that has not been integrated into my very being.
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I didn’t exactly get the results I was expecting from FK-0. It took me on a tangent I have long since been aware of but pushed resolving it further into the future to focus on more pressing objectives.
Today, I finished designing two new narrow customs to refocus back on my conscious objectives as they are the tipping point necessary for the next steps to come.
But guess what?
I step outside my house and there is another spiritual manifestation🙂.