Realizations and change in perception aren’t sudden, they don’t feel new either. It’s like on some level I’ve always known, but I refused to acknowledge them so they don’t get integrated. When the integration really starts, there are signs, but they’re so subtle they could be overlooked.
Then it continues building deeper (not inwards-> outwards). At this point, people’s behavior begin to change to reflect the depth of change. And there will be gaps in consciousness where an irrational but positive acknowledgment of the external world springs from deep within (phrase, thought, image, video sequence, feeling).
Then it keeps building deeper until…boom. A dam bursts open, strings of “truths” begin to stream from within. They can’t be denied, they are numerous, with every single facet craving expression, yet remaining mystical — trying to explain diminishes it. And I can’t let myself do that.
Then there’s a phrase, poem, image that comes from within that bears every facet of my truth. It could be stupidly simple, sometimes it’s arcane, sometimes irrational, other times outright arrogant, yet it makes absolute sense to me.
And it must be expressed. Some will understand, I know some can truly see me, even falsities, which I am scared of.
However, that in itself is also fine.