Got an ambitious idea of a result enhancement custom.
Actually I’ve tried executing this idea, but it didn’t quite work the way I wanted it to.
But with the new tech and Limitless:Raikov coming up? Oh boyy!!!
Extremely reluctant to change my stack now.
But something has to change, even for a short while. Currently in a mini experimentation mode.
First was Wanted + ASBR on Monday night.
Social
Superb, both blended and enhanced each other—wits, playfulness, attraction, presence, fame, effortlessly leading the group. Like I effortlessly pierced through social situations. Little bit more withdrawn on the self amusement of Wanted though.
Cognitive
Focus and comprehension came back online almost immediately. This aspect has been hard for me to engage since this phase.
Internal Dominance -> Resilience
Kicked in immediately too. It was channeled into generating outcomes (productivity) and getting myself back under control—internally, externally, financially.
External Dominance -> Ferocity
Way easier to wield. Usually with ASBR, I get this internal feeling of being “a massive force in motion piercing through anything.”
Expressed outwardly as sharp demeanor—Eagle-like expression, minding like a bullet. Overt expression of displeasure.
This time the feeling came out in the process of productivity. A flare up(overt expression of displeasure) started and I cut it almost immediately. Slight conflict in my walking step—model vs bullet.
Recon
No resolution or containment like GLM. The resilience just helped me create pockets to power through it. I pierce through anything, recon is no exception. It can be there, but won’t stop me.
Superb expression, it’s like I naturally flowed between expressing the more suitable sub for the right moment.
Going to work today, let’s see how that turns out.
Note: all descriptors used in my journal are used to describe my own experience and may not be completely similar to your own experience.
Now I’m trying my best to keep my mind open about ASBR, but it’s like I’ve already made up my mind about it and my answer is NO.
It fits my goals down to a T, but doesn’t completely align with my vision of self development.
My current goals/achievement markers require intense cognition, innovation, resilience/focus, fame and wealth scripting, basically everything in the copy.
However, Vision of self development is an ideal, something beyond achievement, state or capacity, it is the essence of being. Everything else is just an expression of that essence.
Khan and GLM are the only subs that help me cultivate this. I am the universe’s incarnation of power, freedom and continuous alignment and that’s how it is. Constant self embodiment.
ASBR feels like an archetype, like I’m trying to live up to something. I am a force of nature, but I’m still in some sort of confine—a game of understanding and aligning with reality to generate outcomes that suits my will—and with it comes the capacity and resources to do so.
In summary ASBR has gravitas and Khan expresses the phenomenon of gravity.
Again, just my expression of the subs.
More intimacy issues being worked on in the background.
During recon the thing I craved the most was the presence of a woman that actually cares, cuddling without words and getting lost in each other’s eyes; a welcoming escape from the intense chaos I was processing.
Another thread I noticed is the desire to trust. The scenario I described will not be possible without me being able to and actually trusting her.
Continuing with the desire to trust, it’s also reflecting financially.
Had one of my spontaneous scenario generations that cooked up when I process/heal stuff—taking multiple perspectives in a scenario, asking guided prompts on the topic and me replying to those prompts.
Happened at work and in this scenario, I entrusted my card to my coworker to make a payment for me, while I rush to do something else.
He asked me “how/why are you so trusting? How can you just give me your card like that?”
The voices of doubt flooded my mind
“you’re so naive” “how/why are you so naive?”
“Have you forgotten where you come from? People cheat and get scammed”
“What you’re doing is foolish”
And then I replied his question “are you going to use it for something you’re not supposed to? Are you planning to cheat me?”
He just kept staring at me blankly, couldn’t muster a reply.
I continued “so why not?”
Got propositioned for the promotion again.
Testing GLM + ASBR today.
Promising results already.
Navigated two situations now with dead calm. No fidgeting, highly expressive speech patterns and body language.
Took my time to articulate before giving replies. This was strange. In the moment when I’m articulating there’s almost nothing in mind, like I’m not writing through the process consciously, but when I start speaking, everything flows.
Cognition on point.
Play, play, play. Ferocity from ASBR was in the background, with the internal joy shining forth, even in unlikely situations, which was highly accepted.
Resilience-> Eye of the Storm. This wasn’t the usual feeling of internal dominance. I am simply the center of my world and by extension my external environment. My permission was needed for things to progress (only expressed on Khan).
Fame, I don’t really know how to explain this one. It’s not that people just know you, there’s this element of gravitas and admiration. People keep coming back.
There were some times when I cracked jokes that were usually funny, but my deliveries were too serious. They register it as me being serious; then I make it clear that was my attempt at a joke and they’re all start laughing? WTF
The first person that comes to mind when I think about the way this expressed is Steve Jobs, except with more internal joy.
Something I didn’t note here was going into work on Tuesday and everyone kept saying they missed me.
I was only gone for 4 days, with two of those being weekends🙂
Feel like dropping E//D//U completely, and moving on to ST2. The going is getting tougher and more destabilizing to handle. However, I will remain, right here.
Now, back to observations.
Working through more intimacy issues. There’s one person constantly on my mind, it won’t be a stretch to say I actually miss her, even though I saw her last week. This was quite unexpected.
Had a dream about a past situationship. It seems I’m processing things from all my past relationships and situationships. Gradually crawling from the lighter to the darker stuff.
My music profile yesterday was really lo-fi sexy songs, from morning till night. Still find I couldn’t listen to some garbage—a “not for me” followed by an automatic skip😂
I’m horny, almost constantly. Yet this has a different feeling. It doesn’t feel subdued, but slightly subtle, with different peaks and dips.
Lastly, the “crouching dragon” hasn’t responded since this week. I think there’s some qualitative refinement happening within my sexual energertics for now. I don’t feel any changes , I just know it is so because that’s what pops in my mind when I think about it.
Suddenly, I can’t remember her name. It feels like my consciousness is locked out from certain memories abut her.
Probably get accessible again when the time is right.
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Always play your best card first, for any given situation.
You might not be your best card. You don’t have to be the one holding up the banner others rally around. You are the cause behind the banner.
Your hidden card might not be your best card for the situation, it is the best card used as a final resort. You will find that your hidden card will often be you.
You are the one your best cards come to when in need, and your best card is rarely in need(that’s why it’s your best).
Play your best card, let it shine and watch your will align reality.
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Sexual energy gradually returning to baseline today. Not felt horny today, but just felt the usual activation in my abdomen area.
Also having a bad bellyache, could be what I ate last night though.
For the man who sacrificed his entire life to see others happy.
Are you willing to sacrifice your very soul to see others happy?
I am one of you, and stand amongst you all.
But I desire excellence, a brilliant fragment, the best of all, undeniably beyond competition. Naturally, this excellence elevates.
Can I be above the people whilst still remaining amongst the people? Or do I have to sacrifice one for the other? Or is there any of them that is just a facade?
I don’t know.
Same problem concept, different levels and angles.
I’ve been getting the feeling to move to the next phase, which is focused on embodying identity. This phase might not have GLM and KB might take a longer time (2 months) to come back in.
I feel like I haven’t used either of them enough and I’m unwilling to let them go.
But I’ve decided, I’ll chill on the next phase and move my focus to wealth for the next two months. Already had an app idea from two months back, but it needs more fleshing out.
Didn’t remember this until now
But I just checked and I can access the memories again. Some interesting stuff.
Going through @Malkuth journal after stockpiling and I found this
I read through it and immediately my mind began to express how this applies for me, so I’m going to try expressing it as much as I currently can.
For me I find that trying to draw lines of causality, feeds into my nature of trying to behold the entirety of reality—see/understand/observe/know—which is a nice trait but also serve as a huge limiter when I can’t satisfy it.
I had to understand that everything is interconnected (mirrored too) and inevitably has a part to play, and drawing seemingly clear lines of influence are never accurate, which will inevitably distort the truth of what you behold. It is also a big source of pain when what I try to behold naturally eludes me. So I’m learning to let go, believing that everything contributes and ultimately happens for my sake—contributes to my journey. I let it be for the most part.
However, being able to observe causality is still important both subjectively and objectively, especially when trying to observe patterns for practical purposes.
So how can both perspectives be true and upheld at the same time?
Degrees of influence, everything has a part to play, with some more than others, for any given form of expression. Observing this is heavily influenced by the current limit of the individual’s awareness. From here you can see contributors, get more depth in understanding and be able to apply them in practice.
I think it’s also one of the reasons why internal work comes in cycles, levels, each with different perspectives. You think “something” was responsible for a certain behavior, it gets resolved and you then realize there’s more.
Never thought about this before, but it seems this has been my subconscious approach, I’m only now putting it in words. This has been applied to experimentation, self-exploration, to external exploration (people, outcomes etc). Every form of expression have become windows to behold contributing forces.
Funny I didn’t see this before.
Practicality of mastery—achievement and self development
Achievement markers vs self dev goals
Achievement markers may seem like self development, but they are not. They are the outcomes of levers being pulled, however they are pulled. Self development is the unraveling of essence, the embodiment of your best self.
Achievement markers involve playing a game, honing your craft, competing, winning, conquering perhaps, but it remains a game with rules not born of your decision. Yet, and in the process of playing any game, you step into the hallway of self development, for you must embody that which deserves the achievement you desire.
Self development, often the long arduous part of self embodiment, honed within the confines of your being, never flashy, the journey most realize they were on towards its very end. It will often be overlooked, it will reflect in every aspect of your being, but only a few in the world will truly understand. Hitting achievement markers becomes the norm, so easy that you might find more pleasure in self embodiment. And now, we’re back here again.
They both involve each other and cannot truly be separated.
However, I choose to cultivate self embodiment because true mastery of life is what I desire. Conquering achievement markers is simply a consequence of my existence.