The Conqueror’s Bliss: Prelude

[Goldfinger]

As I was reeling from the surprise I just got, a thread started in my mind. It was my usual “conversation with my self” where I question myself in a concept and I try to flesh it out as much as possible, like I’m trying to make a child understand. It’s a mix of conversations with myself and playing out scenarios.

I wondered why a leader wanted me in a leadership position.

Then it shifted to me giving advice to my immediate leader on being a better leader.

Then to being asked “how do you know that’s what a leader should be like?”

And I literally said “I am not telling you the way to be, I am simply giving you an idea of the type of leader I’m willing to follow. The details are for you to figure out. Gather more information from others that follow you and you will find your answer there. After all, that is the work of a leader”

Then as I’m catching up on the nearly 300 unread posts on the Season 4 thread, I see this for the first time.

@SaintSovereign

When analyzing the idea of “command,” you only have to look at yourself and ask what types of leaders and commanders that you are willing to follow.

[Goldfinger]

The third one being the joy scripting from GLM shone through, dominantly for the first time.

I think it’s because I listened to Wanted and GLM back to back, then kept E//D//U separate for night.

[Goldfinger]

E//D//U is an absolute monster.

There’s always recon, like 24/7, no rest, no plateau.

Habits have not been the best, actually took a dip, some minor “suboptimal” decisions like eating/sleeping late, eating out etc, lack of focus when it comes to cognitive aspect of executive functioning, body constantly shaking/tremoring.

But all are within acceptable range. Nothing affects my quality of life. The other subs in stack have made it seem like a mild discomfort beneath the surface.

Social life and work life jumping levels, even under recon.

[Goldfinger]

Just ran E//D//U, let’s see how tomorrow morning is.

If the breakdown/live life cycle continues, then this’ll be my new listening strategy.

Need me that GLM grounded in your body feeling that people been talking about.

[Goldfinger]

Woke up this morning. The breakdown is here, don’t feel like doing shit right now.

Let’s move and see how it turns out.

[Goldfinger]

Leaving this here

Main Disc. Thread - Fire vs. Saint Round 4 [The Battle is On!]

It would seem so, however – if one were to experience a “good” form of recon, this would be it, because you are clearly attempting to work through an internal issue by externalizing in the form of questions. That’s a “seeking” action, and one seeks to resolve imbalance. Believe it or not, these types of discussions do indeed qualify as “taking action.” Anyway, to answer the question – one of the things people have to remember is that we are forced, by nature of the company’s global customer ba…

[Goldfinger]

I have an observation—if you can perceive a connection between the subs and express that connection, then any sub can be stacked.

The issue now is the rate of embodiment of the concepts discussed in each sub.

[Goldfinger]

Main Idea Thread -- Godlike Masculinity: The Commander

The Edge This is simply the ability (not just capacity) to assert yourself as the commander in any situation—physically, mentally, socially, energetically, and possibly spiritually. I didn’t use capacity because you can have all the tools and still don’t know how to wield them. Wielding this depth of “edge” takes skill—when to wield, how to wield etc. Now, I’m also of the opinion that “a true leader won’t have to wield this edge” but it’s not the full thing when we come to reality. What sort…

[Goldfinger]

Let your philosophy guide your path

The way you live an embodiment of your philosophy

Your skill the expression of your entire life.

But never restrict yourself to philosophy, keep growing, forever boundless.

[Goldfinger]

Umm this didn’t quite work out as expected.

No drive to do anything, I just want to be lazy and be taken care of by someone. Didn’t accomplish the goals I set out today.

No lethargy, no fatigue, no energy drain, no running emotions. The breakdown feeling is still in the background. But the feeling like my energy system taking a hit is very prominent, it’s the second dominant feeling I usually get on TB, haven’t felt it in quite a while.

Just not in the mood for anything.

Still hit the gym though. Time for a really hot shower.

All is well.

[Goldfinger]

External results are so numerous, I almost don’t consider them “results” anymore. It is simply my reality.

Goals that aim at accomplishing things or hitting targets are being classified as achievement markers.

Actual change in my perception of life, how I engage with life experiences and shifts that improve my quality of life are now considered results.

[Goldfinger]

Today I told my friends about one of the shifts I’ve had regarding my physical body. And it seemed like some sort of regression happened.

Wanted directly contributes to this shift and I’ve mentally noted it since my second week on it. I’ve been trying to make this change through exercise and stuff, but never made it a habit. Wanted just made it almost autopilot, so I don’t just have to exercise for it, I live it every moment and permanence develops with time.

Immediately I shared the result in detail, it’s like I immediately snapped out of that loop.

I’ve noticed this pattern numerous times—sharing the result externally in detail currently brings about some immediate regression or test of that result. The same also holds for internal results.

This seems like a limiting pattern to me, so I’ll test it again, and on something that has become my perceived baseline.

[Goldfinger]

Delayed on my shower last night.

Cleared out one stuff I had delayed for some time.

Then had my shower and went to bed.

Woke up late today, still didn’t feel like doing shit, but I got moving. Hopped on calls I had delayed all week, then went straight into work mode.

It’s like the barrier to action is being slightly disentangled from my state in that moment.

I just had to get the stone rolling by starting the first phase of the work last night and this morning sorted itself.

[Goldfinger]

Been trying to study but couldn’t focus for the life of me.

Working on school work since the term started has been through almost extreme willpower. Now, it’s exam period and I can’t let this continue.

I thought this time will be different with GLM, but same as last year, I’ll have to take TB out. So E//D//U will come back mid December.

[Goldfinger]

Short summary of my evening.

Tried to get some work done.

Felt hungry, extremely hungry, the tire that cause dizziness. Got some food, but felt like throwing up, even while hungry.

Forced myself to eat, then started overeating.

Quite the rollercoaster.

[Goldfinger]

Before I took up more food, I was quite conscious of what was going on.

My ‘one voice’ asked me “is this the decision you want to make?” I know it’s the wrong decision, but went ahead.

My body rejected by bringing my awareness to my thirst, to drink water and patch up whatever space left, but I refused to be stopped.

I just wanted to stuff myself with more food. I wanted to stress eat.

Started eating, then decided to stop.

[Goldfinger]

I posted the previous posts, told myself I’ll rest and then get back to work again

Next thing I know, I’m dozing off

Might have to sit tonight out, but let’s wait a bit.

[Goldfinger]

Stayed around my current friends, just being in their presence, watching reels, with music in the background.

Seem to have been reset to baseline.

Time to give this work one more try.

[Goldfinger]

One is the best because he seems to be in endless flow, he has always been that way. Effortless excellence, he doesn’t know what it is to be subpar.

The other, the best because he can’t see a reality where he isn’t so, he is the best because he decides it as so. Excellence by will, a balance of obsession and belief.

What happens when the lines between these two are blurred?

Something beyond these two paradigms is born, Something only you can define

The Self-Embodiment of Perfection

- YouTube

[Goldfinger]

@Goldfinger

Time to give this work one more try

Well that didn’t work out. Stayed up late till the next morning, couldn’t sleep and couldn’t work either.

Today, had about three naps, with breaks (1-2 hours) in between. Woke up, chilled some more, and then, I was finally able to work, got most of it done.

Either I really needed sleep or it wasn’t a day to participate in anything that I don’t consider as self care.

Maybe both.