I thought about it, but you already took it😜
How’s your experience when you used GHENGHIS, also are you still using IT?
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Lol! It’s fine by me bro. Use it if you like the name.
I really liked it although I need to run through the stages of Khan. I hadn’t done so after the NEW Khan update although I had run every previous version of it.
Currently am not using my GENGHIS custom but the aim is to get back to it one day. Right now there are other priorities in the way.
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Frame of identity is being questioned.
“If you see yourself as ‘this’ way, why aren’t you ‘this’?”
“If you truly believe ‘this’ why isn’t it working in your life?”
In essence, “where is your evidence and why aren’t you living it?”
And then a voice screams from the shadows “You fraud”, like it waits for that moment to come, every time.
“The one that speaks, but never comes to past. If only you had an achievement for every time you spoke, you’d be the greatest man alive”
PS
Writing this now actually cracks me up a little.
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Hmmmm…. Turns out this one’s a bust.
I have no idea of the core thing I learned or changed within me. From a conscious perspective, I didn’t achieve my goal with this stack. However, it is time to move on for now.
Need more grounding and internal structure before I can properly engage this current goal in a safe way.
Note the sub didn’t cause any harm, just realizing I need more growth in another area.
Time to bring in my one of my fantasy stacks GLM + HERO: Earth
GLM for embodiment of self and masculinity through inner stillness, presence and joy.
HERO: Earth for mastery of my physical form and embodiment of rituals (silence, prayer, stillness, exercising, etc) mentioned in a previous post.
I’ve been hesitating on this stack for a while, keeping it for next January. I might not go in-depth as I planned to next year, but it’s what I have to work on now.
This is the general idea
Gaddamn, this shit is a multifaceted multidimensional web that intersects everything, with new at the center.
Digging too much into one angle/topic triggers everything. It seems I have to keep digging around the periphery consistently, while laying the foundation to handle more focus.
I wish there was a manual for this. But where’s the fun in that?
“It’s expensive”
One of the phrases I dislike more as I live, and, I mean it in every sense.
I keep hearing things like “oh, that’s the optimal path, but it’s expensive” from my environment and each time I hear it, I fight “wtf do you mean it’s expensive?” And I proceed to come up with a way to directly offset that expense. Till…
I found myself saying that save phrase this past week, and, you know what?
I am angry and I’m done with that.
Today is such a beautiful one. And I’m not e be n talking about beauty stirred by anything. It’s beautiful because I identify it as so.
Being feels effortless, not power from dominance, just effortlessness from being and self amusement. Last time I felt something similar to was on Primal.
I’m sorry HERO: Earth, WANTED has bounced you😭
I feel like a damn model
I’m finally able to go back balance.
This entire ordeal for the past 4-5 have been like going from drinking with a straw, to a pipeline just pouring down my face. Expanded inflow of information, expanded perception, hiked pattern recognition, yet not being able too make proper sense of, talk less of application and embodiment.
Within this ordeal, my legs gradually left the earth, and I was being pushed around by different currents, rather than flowing towards harmony.
I desired something—an embodiment of my truth and that of reality. As a matter of fact, I still desire it. I knew that the upheaval was the way forward, I welcomed it, hoping it will resolve eventually.
Now, I’ll say something controversial, and I hope not for misinterpretation, but I can see how great minds fall into madness. Imagine someone with similar traits, yet greater mental capabilities than I, I know they exist. Now, imagine them going through this same ordeal, but not finding it within themselves to stop and realign. There you have it. A gradual yet more enmeshed descent into madness.
I got something. I got a framework on who I want to be. I can put it in one sentence, the concept is clear, now to iron out the details.
I also clarified the gift I want to give the world and it ticks all my boxes. My endgame endgame, the thing I’ll work on till my last breath.
The man I want to embody, is simple, yet very broad, larger than me, and, rarely experienced. I will need to set very solid foundations.
Current focus
- Digging into my depths to unveil essence (not the spiritual kind🙂), with my E//D//U custom. Basically more Total Breakdown with sexual and energetic healing from KB.
- Building up internal world, with GLM & Wanted.
- Expressing developing internal state through my body—health and attractiveness.
My current focus serves to
- Ground me in what I engage and develop both mentally and physically. HERO: Earth world have been better, but that Wanted internal frame is too good.
- Build my up more internal solidity (a more solid “self”) in order to engage my more abstract spiritual (expansion) goals properly.
- Remove more gunk hiding in my subconscious.
- I love being wanted
- In summary, I’m just doing more foundation/prep work, and it’s going to take a while.
I’m using the new listening instructions as a framework, but I’ve found taking two rest days, rather than one works better for me.
I tried to use one rest day, but something happens and I end up skipping one extra. I only noticed this happening from my listening log, I’ll let it be.
And the results have been in since day one, especially Wanted.
Shit, the desire to create a YouTube channel is back. And it’s growing stronger.
I haven’t even added ASBR back into my stack😭
Lately, I’ve been observing something I can only describe as a form of inspired action.
It’s mostly focused around the way I communicate - overtly and subconsciously. It started since my run of Khan St2 last October.
Discovering different ways to smile, to shift eye texture/qualities, angles, body positioning, vocal and visual projection, tonality etc. It comes in four stages
- First, It’s like I just want to experiment with my expression in free form, and I do so, even without a mirror.
- Then, I find out later that some extra expressions are more consciously accessible.
- Then, the desire to evoke those expressions and practice them during conversations.
- Then later, I find it became subconscious already.
Now, it’s increasing again on Wanted.
Overhauling my diet completely. New groceries in today.
The past week it’s like my brain has a damn autocorrect, the kind that sees potential and comes up with the actual way to correct it. Right on the spot.
I’m seeing potential in people, websites, equipments, tools, behaviors, habits etc
I don’t know if this is presults from my planned run of ASBR & NR, Beyond Limitless or from something else.
Decided to read forum posts after a while now, only to see the campfire policy has been updated 5 good times 
Are some people coming on here just to throw hands meaninglessly?
Oh well, we move.
Rejection.
And no, it’s not the type that generally associated with the word. I find myself rejecting ideas first, before then consciously evaluating them to see if they make any sense to me. Like a firewall being set up, and filtering for viruses.
Subconsciously, there’s an automatic immediate breakdown to decipher the purest essence of what is being communicated and why (perspectives, reasoning, linked with my perception of their inner world). It’s like an AI developed to analyze anything and everything. Something running naturally for me in my mind. I don’t know if it’s a gift or subconsciously trained, but it’s baseline. Sometimes, when I don’t want it to happen, I tell it to “shut up” when I want to enter a state of presence/enjoyment.
The next thing that comes is a solid “NO” that comes from my inner voice, loud and clear.
Then, I consciously evaluate the material if it holds merit and I’m being defensive.
But now I can be focused on something else and just hear the “No” then I have to find what I’m saying no to. It can be internal or something being said some distance away that I’m somehow able to hear. And when I plug in, the AI comes into play
Before the AI supplies a basis to doubt before the “No”. Now, the “No” comes first, even before the AI processes.
This seems like a unique result from TB.
This anti-recon is interesting.
Discovered a skin issue which I thought was gone had returned. It wass a trigger for recon, all the Wanted internal effects faded, which I thought reflected in my external results (which isn’t completely true)
Self image issues made itself known, I became slightly reclusive in social settings, actually, I wanted to be left alone for that period, to ruminate through what came up.
As more time passed I realized it was a self worth issue tied with a perception of internal lack of abundance.
Then a desire began to creep up, one that spoke of an unphase-able internal world born from abundance. The abundance of not wanting anything else outside myself to enable me be myself—not validation, opinions, desire, love, motivation, authority, systems, religion or even archetypes.
Immediately I got to this point, color flooded in, everything became funny. And I’m talking rofl ridiculous levels of funny. I was laughing so hard at everything, people were so amused and IDGAF.