I woke up feeling optimistic and went for 6 minutes of Paragon-Elixir and 5 of TLX.
Last night I started taking some nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory and I already feel the pain going down, but it must be the compounding effects of Paragon-Elixir, the fact that I finished the diagnosis process (all the exams and doctors), last night hypnosis and starting the medicines.
I still notice lots of emotions moving in the background.
Finished my Qigong practice an hour ago and Im blissing out, feeling real good and optimistic.
Im proud of myself for finally taking care of something thats been bothering me for years and always pushed to the side.
Final Showdown, Attachment Destroyer, Growth Through Pain, Path of Forgiveness and Ares, they all work great as a cluster.
Im gonna take a washout for 3 days… Im gonna resume listening on tuesday.
My lower back hurts, but emotionally I feel superb. Nothing flashy, no thunderbolts or anything, just inner peace and a feeling of resolution.
I feel like the turmoil has stopped and clarity about how to go about getting healthy, has appeared today.
I did my QiGong a while ago and Im gonna take a nice shower… later we have plans with the lady, we are going out.
The sense of inner peace is becoming stronger, I have less pain today.
We have a really good time last night with the lady and some friends, a couple of drinks, some dancing… I was very social and outgoing… a sense of freedom is growing inside… very noticeably.
Silly question, are you using Image Cycling to heal your condition now?
Its funny, but I dont feel I need it… Im gonna take a second look at it.
I just got a massage at the end of my kinesiologist session and realized how much my muscles and body have relaxed since I started this custom.
Definitely Harmonic Singularity and Stress Displacement are doing its thing.
Pain level keeps going down and obviously its the custom and the hypnosis, not the medication, since the doctor told me one is very slow acting (2 to 3 months to feel the effects) and the other (pain killer) I took it for 2 weeks when it all started with no particular effects and now Ive been taking it for 5 days…
Of course lower levels of stress helps to lower the pain too.
Im debating whether I should add RoM or Alchemist st4 as the third title for my next cycle, which starts tomorrow.
RoM appeals to me cause all of the unfolding, revelations and understandings, that seems pretty important in the healing process Im in.
Alchemist st4 came to me today while I was doing my Spring Forest QiGong practice… It seems to fit the idea of cleansing my energies and opening the energy paths on my body some more, to overall enhance the healing properties of QiGong.
Why I dont just eliminate Tantric Lover and do Paragon-Elixir, RoM and Alchemist? Well… TL has Heartsong, LBfH and Aphrodite, all of which are providing amazing healing and enhancing my self steem and relationship with my girlfriend to levels we are simply enjoying too much to quit.
I guess Im gonna sleep on this one…
I wasnt sure if I wanted to share this result, since sex is not the focus of this journal, but I think its related to QiGong and maybe something else. Its definitely healing so I guess its ok to share here.
We were making love with my gf last wednesday and after a minute or maybe less she complaint about lots of pain and wanted to stop. According to her description my penis felt like it was covered in needles and she couldnt bare the pain, so we stopped.
She was in pain until the next day, couldnt even touch her, so we decided to do a Tantric Dearmouring Massage. During the massage she liberated massive amounts of sadness and cried a lot. After that the pain was completely gone.
This was on wednesday 8 and I started QiGong on january 29.
I believe it has something to do with an energy transfer during sex and the triggering of a trauma she had. With QiGong Ive been gathering lots of energy and I have a natural tendency to heal people.
Other factor could be Aphrodite… We have listen to Tantric Lover together about 3 or 4 different times and the timeline matches.
Here we go!!
New cycle
Stack:
Day #1:
Finally decided for RoM in the most intuitive way possible, I woke up at 3am to go to the bathroom and wanting to listen to my stack, I just went for RoM because it felt right.
In the future -4 months or so- I will rebuild my Paragon-Elixir custom. The idea is to remove the emotional healing aspects and focus only on the Physical.
I believe 4 months is enough for the emotional healing part, I dont wanna be stuck in that for too long, considering Im doing Hypnosis to work on that plane too.
I’m gonna add The Aligner to the custom.
Of course this is just an idea and I will be evaluating my progress, results are the most important decision criteria. If something works I’ll keep doing it, if it doesnt work it will get thrown away… simple as that.
Today Ive felt the pain, but not the Growth.
Ive felt an energy drain and emotionally down… just wanna stay in bed and sleep.
i haven’t been able to gather the energy to do my Qigong practice… hopefully I will do it before bed, I feel its gonna pick me up.
Day#3
TLX × 7 minutes
Paragon-Elixir × 7 minutes
Today I woke up feeling emotionally down, but not as hard as yesterday, its more like an internal emotional movement.
Listened to my stack at 5:00 am and went back to sleep.
I took a cold shower, then prepared my Turmeric, ginger, black pepper and honey tea. Later I did my QiGong practice.
Now I feel much better, still theres some internal emotional turmoil, lots of images and memories arised when doing QiGong, cant tell if thats something normal for that kind of practices or if it is the subs, but either way lots of things moving under the hood.
Regret… its the commonality between the experiences that keep appearing in my consciousness.
Regret is the feeling Im processing.
It has a sexual component to it.
Ares, Path of Forgiveness, Growth Through Pain seems to be working now. Perhaps a bit of Aphrodite too.
Day#4
Today I had a better mood, but the emotional turmoil keeps bubbling inside.
Im gonna do my Qigong practice before sleeping.
Ive been feeling really insecure with my girlfriend… Theres a struggle in my mind to do things I dont really feel like doing.
Day#5
TLX × 3 minutes
Paragon-Elixir × 7 minutes
As usual I listened to my stack a little before sunrise and slept some more.
I woke up feeling better than yesterday, even though theres still some turmoil.
I forgot my Qigong practice last night, but today I will do it for shure.
In the realm of Phisical results its obvious to me that the position of my pelvic bone has been reset, the old bad posture feels weird and even a little painful if I purposefully try to use it. The new one has been installed now, after a couple of weeks in which I constantly found myself checking the angle of the pelvic bone.
At first I used the floor and a simple exercise to reset the posture.
Yesterday I experienced a lot of lower back pain… I had to stop having lunch with my girlfriends family and go lie down in bed for a while.
It didnt got any better so we left home, at home I took a hot bath and my girlfriend gave me a massage.
I had a bad night, barely slept and today Ive been feeling pretty down.
Today meditating I realized that Ive been avoiding my feelings like they are the plague… Im always finding something to do to keep me away from just being there feeling.
The source of this behavior is simply fear of what I might find. I was scaping silence… Tonight Im gonna fall asleep without the usual aid of my headphones and watching videos.
I havent done any QiGong in the last 2 days.
I cant sleep if Im not listening to something.
Im recurring to drinking alcohol.
I feel like Im throwing away all that Ive worked for.