This is such a cool intro post to a journal, bravo
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Thanks Makh ^^
Also, while eating I got to overhear a group of girl talking about going to Thailand (my next vacation in 3 weeks), and saw a man drawing an architectural building right after talking about ecological buildings innovations in the Chosen idea thread.
Manifestations are out of this world lol
It was a good evening, I loved it. Everyone was friendly and smiling. I am less obsessed with women asses than on my first cycle of Khan so we can really see the healing that Regeneration, AoH, LBFH, and Chosen have done in the last 4 months lol
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Very excited to see how you start expressing the title, both the sub itself and the build. Seeing someone else’s results and expression helps so much with understanding how it may be working, since we’re all affected in different ways. (Plus in trying replicate a cool result I think is cool LOL)
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03/02/2026 - morning of rest day 1
Yesterday evening I had some disturbing cartoonish imagery during my meditation, but I was extremely calm.
This morning I got slightly angry when two cars passed me by my right using a merging lane (while they were behind before). I asked myself why I was angry - feeling of injustice. I then asked myself if I could do anything about it - No, I don’t see a way to change things. Then, getting angry at the thought of injustice is useless and better used as fuel to work and stay awake through the early day meeting.
It was right to start with 30s and go slow, I might only up the listening times 15s more next week, when I next listen to Khan + RotNW.
I’ll prob stay the full year on khan ST1 anyway as it is the most synergetic with the other two for my goals.
Edit: Also thinking of maybe adding Ardent Light to Thermae of Love to help fight food and sex cravings and any kind of impulses really, though I have been well purified through practice and angelic intervention, and though they should naturally lessen with love, healing, and wisdom.
One can always get more pure, there are generations upon generations to purify, enough for a lifetime or twelve.
Though idk if it would be too heavy or not, there’s a lot in it already. I’ll have to think more on it, I got a whole month for that.
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04/02/2026 rest day 2
Yay! I got the Tale of the Dream Boy custom in time for tomorrow! 
Also, yesterday plenty of people, men and women, where smiling at me when I went to the store to buy some activia kefir and “endurance” trail mix, (for gut biome and good protein 
), a grandma asked me to help her get home so I obliged, she talked a lot! she probably needed someone to listen to so I did, though she was tired, and so was I.
Yesterday’s morning meeting was early because of a colleague in Taiwan, and the topic was talking about a machine built by the UK branch of the company. However in the end, there were only contractors, my French colleague, and I… The UK side didn’t come at all, neither the one actually in the UK nor the one in Taiwan! We were able to advance but of course some subjects we couldn’t since we don’t have details. Later the one who planned the meeting sent a mail telling us “people in the UK will never attend a meeting prior to 8:30.”, well alright then, it’d have been nice to check beforehand lol. otherwise the day was smooth.
Anyway, on to this morning! A female colleague who happen to be single and really beautiful came to my open space desk isle with three male colleagues to do a security presentation on substance use, she was a bit exasperated with the colleagues not being serious and praised me “if only everyone was like you”, I joked about how she reminds me of my cousin, she got the same name and same personality, and I told her what I meant by that since she asked (it’s positive, she doesn’t hesitate to go clawing at things if needed to make them advance, very dynamic and proactive), she responded that she would have loved to be my cousin as it’d have been fun.
at the end we joked that we could meet altogether at an afterwork bar nearby, but she has to go get her daughter this afternoon/evening, though she hesitated in bringing her to the bar. 
So yeah, great fun all around 
Edit: was thinking about manifestations, how things I think or feel tend to fall into place, even just how this morning I read the Paragon thread and on the radio they were talking about health protocols lol, and I heard a somewhat female robotic voice in my head saying something to the tune of “don’t complain, and it’ll be perfect”
Edit2: Yeah, I can definitely feel both Khan and RotNW working, I definitely think much more of people extracting nectar than before lol, and I’m ever so slightly more straightforward if only in thoughts, but actions follow thoughts, when we think a certain way or about certain subject it tend to reflect and happen…
Though yeah, 30s is 30s, I can see how reducing listening time reduce recon, and while it does provide many results, it does so in a way that’s not as destabilizing as higher listening times.
I did a nice afterwork with a few colleagues in the end, it wasn’t planned (I didn’t receive the invite) but it was good, though I didn’t talk too much, didn’t find things to say.
Tomorrow I’ll have 30s of Tale of the Dream Boy and I’ll see how it goes for the weekend, I want to try the effects this weekend, for real this time. Not just canceling going out because a friend didn’t answer like last weekend, that’s boring. I’ll prob make a dating app profile too, I got nice pictures.
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05/02/2026 WDB 30s
Early morning
I woke up and did my daily routine, that night I had a somewhat slightly disturbing dream, where a girl tried to kiss me on the cheek but every time she got closer I started barking happily and she was very disturbed by that.
I didn’t quite get the message, but then I read that post by SwedishBuddha and it clicked!
I am being overly excited and it’s a turn off/disturbing, it would be better, more natural, and get more results to be relaxed and chill!
There is nothing wrong with being happy, but like I shouldn’t act like a starved dog to whom we dangle a treat in front of.
I then started listening to the Tale of the Dream Boy ZPQ, I was inspired to run it now rather than at lunch as I usually do, and boy it took me from being half asleep to fully awake in the first 5 seconds. Immediate clarity.
I felt like I could have run more than 30s, but I better take it slow since it’s a ZPQ/Terminus Squared. I’ll see how it’ll develop
Edit:
When I see myself in the mirror, I can see I have a pretty face, though a teensy bit larger than what I would like.
I also see hints of a 6 pack if I suck my belly in.
Maybe in a year or two of working out I’ll have a dream body and face? That’d be nice hehehe, and it’s doable. I don’t want a muscular athletic body, but a toned one would be great, instead of the average I got here.
Edit 2: Saw the female colleague again today, since I had to go to the other building, she brightened up as soon as she saw me, I think maybe she like me a bit? tho idk maybe she just like me as a colleague, nevertheless I’d love to go have a drink with her someday, just idk if I’ll dare approach, I never did any flirting or approaches in my life.
… Which may also explain why I don’t have much experiences in my dating life…
Also yeah, the 30s of this morning were easier than I thought it would be, even easier than Khan monday, even though TotDB is a ZPQ, name embedding really smooth things out wow.
But yeah, I’m someone who never did approaches, never had a dating profile on an app, don’t have any experience flirting with someone or things of the sort, so it’s gonna be interesting, lots of things to learn lol.
I am pretty good at making friends, I can talk to people when I meet them and when I connect over something, but dating? flirting? idk how to do that. The two times I was in a relationship I kinda fell into it by accident and accepted it. The few ONS I had in my life was initiated by the other party and I just jumped in.
But yeah, no experience dating, so well it’ll be interesting seeing how it goes.
I know that people can be attracted to me, but yeah idk how do someone go and seduce someone else? Seem like an alien concept to me. I do speak to people, but like is it just that? Chatting? but even then, while a couple women invited to sleep in the same bed in the past, idk how I could have taken it further, in the end nothing happened we just slept. It seems to me like chatting just unlock friendships, but idk how to go the step from friendship to relationship.
So maybe there’s a difference between chatting and flirting?
Because if I were to make a dating profile, it’d just be me talking as usual probably, and like of course I know I could get a date, or even going to an event together, but like I feel that if I keep doing as I was doing before it might just keep repeating the same result, aka making friends.
and like I don’t have anything against making friends mind you, that’s already a good thing, but like I would also like to take it further sometimes, maybe FWB? but this seem like a distant dream for now. I actually did take it further with a friend once, who wanted “help” overcome her period pains, but like that was a one time thing and ended in simple foreplay (though I made her finish like that)
…Now that I think about it, I have a lot to be grateful for concerning my dating/love life, given that I don’t know how to flirt, never tried, and never approached.
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07/02/2026 rest day 2 post TotDB ZPQ
Wow.
Just wow.
Looking back, it’s impressive to see all the profound change from 30s. I’m reading the new instructions and might need to dial it back to 15s next week.
So, as you can see day one of listening was a lot internal, though I did install dating apps on my phone, as well as apps to make friends or meet people.
The day after (yesterday) I took the time to groom myself in the morning, put a bit of perfume, nice clothes. Khan seemed far away, shrunk as if I was looking at it from a skyscraper.
During the day I set up a simple dating profile and registered for a couple activities on the app, though I thought how I was a bit lacking in the photo department, I am not used to taking many pictures. When I got back after work I made myself ready to go to the club, I wanted to have fun.
I put on some eyeliner, perfume, even tried a bit of pheromones for the first time in my life (a pump of nude alpha gel in my neck, a drop of A1 on each of my wrist)
I felt super sexy and confident in front of the mirror.
So I went to the bar first to get in the mood, there I met an old friend, though he was a bit perturbed and had to leave fast, he told me he is a bit depressed and haven’t gone out in a while, maybe it was too noisy for him? Then I went to the club, they had a halloween theme night! It was super cool, I drinked, and danced, and complimented genuinely multiple beautiful people. Loved it. It was a good evening, but like I drank a bit too much and so at the end couldn’t stay. I haven’t got drunk to the point of vomiting in years, and I haven’t even drank that much? Like 4 pints total? I’m used to being able to take on more. I’ve already got my drink spiked once in that club in the past maybe that’s that? While dancing and looking around I seemed unnaturaly alert and clear-headed. Idk what happened, but hey in the end got drunk and tired, went out, vomited, gone to my car on the back seat to wait it out half-asleep(?), a bit out there? I don’t recall but I was seated on the back seat, and in the morning at 7am I was cold and clear headed enough so I drove home and slept.
I slept until around noon, 1pm
In my dream my subconscious told me the processing queue got full and was really excited.
I felt like it wouldn’t be an issue to do only that WDB ZPQ for a year. I wondered if Monday wasn’t too soon for another subliminal input.
I felt a bit dizzy still, all day I felt my brain processing hard and a bit dizzy when I do too much effort, a bit like right before a seizure (I used to have epileptic seizures in my youth/teen), but the feeling pass when I relax and don’t force too much. I’m thinking maybe the alcohol screwed me bad, reduced my capabilities and so the processing feel bigger. I don’t know why I didn’t stop drinking before then, why I didn’t feel the drunk coming. Maybe vainglory? Maybe because in the past I used to only feel confident enough to talk to people and dance when drinking and so came to associate party and alcohol? I’ll have to dissolve that association, this hurt me more than it do me good. I don’t need alcohol to talk to people, to joke, to laugh, to dance.
Talking about jokes, I was better at bantering than usual yesterday at noon with the colleagues! It was fun.
So yeah, today was a day of resting, chilling, not forcing much (though I still did my routine of supplements and workout)
I updated the dating profile to make it way better than the quick profile I made yesterday, though I still need to write the bio (I’ll have to do it in Obsidian tho, the dating app profile editing UI is awful, it cover the text so I don’t see what I write)
In the afternoon, my mom called to ask me for help, my sister got her bike stolen last night. I told her I’m coming. I stopped by the library first since some books I ordered on tantra and energy work arrived, then drove there.
I was a bit scared in the car since I haven’t checked the oil in a while and it felt like it absolutely need oil, and I’m not that close to my mom (one hour drive, and I took the highway to go faster so it wasn’t easy on the motor) I warned my mom and it turns out she got oil so I’ll be able to put it in tomorrow.
So once I arrive I checked the cctv to see if we find the thieves, unfortunately most of the cameras are too close to the wall so at night they don’t see much of anything due to the ir light reflecting on the wall and “blinding” the camera.
We only saw my sister coming out and in at night, and my sister ex boyfriend that came into our yard between 5am and 6 to go knock on her window, he saw that the bike was missing and so he warned her that her bike got stolen.
It’s a bit sus that he stayed 56m total imo, but we have no proof that he helped people steal the bike.
They came by scaling the surrounding wall, and left by lifting the bike on the chicken coop and over the wall. We can see it with the wall having an impact, the grass being folded on the way from the coop to the kennel door (we repurposed that part of the yard as a kennel), they didn’t close that door too.
So the thieve(s):
- Know we let the dog inside at night
- Know my sister has a bike
- Know where my sister hid/stored the bike, in the old barn
- Know my sister’s address
- Either don’t know there’s cameras or knew which don’t see much at night. The recorder is at my grandma’s, in the living room, which is another house than my mom/sis on the same property.
- They must have been multiple to lift a cross bike above a wall, at least two.
- Only my sister’s cross bike got stolen. My mom had her bike with the key on it also in the barn. So it was targeted.
That’s a lot of data, though idk if enough.
I saw the cat at 2am fleeing from the kennel/coop area, spending an awful lot of time looking back, more than 10s, stopping twice to look back on the way. So maybe it happened at 2am.
Anyway, I’m sleeping at my mom’s and have been invited to a family friend’s birthday tomorrow.
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The feeling more internal might also have to do with this a bit. It’s definitely influenced by ZPQ, but A1 is famous for making people in their own heads, insecure, etc by the end of the night. You said you’re new to pheromones so I’m not sure how much you knew, if you already know then my fault for repeating what’s already known.
I also had a close call during my first week with drinking and listening in the same day. I think your mind just has to get used to the subliminal input for a little while. It resolved itself after a few weeks for me, and strategically listening while drunk actually became something viable. Since I’m more honest with myself about my desires, listening while in that state helped me to clarify the things I wanted and the things I had to let go of to get there. Just anecdotal, not encouraging you to do this, lol.
Love these kinds of dreams.
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Well, it’s very simple, I know next to nothing and just went with the recommendation lol.
I read that A1 is more about emotional attachment and it should be 1-2 drop max, and that in general we shouldn’t put much, so thanks for telling me about that effect!
it’s interesting how alcohol, pheromones, and subliminals interact lol, but yeah in any case if alcohol isn’t needed and is detrimental, it’s way better to just go with water. Like in my raving days.
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So today I went to the family friend’s birthday, it was fun! There was good food, good music, good discussions with good people, an adult daughter of a family friend kept looking my way, I looked back smiling a few times and saw their face beam up every time, I made her dream for a bit 
The waitress was extra friendly and attentive with me, probably me being the only person to thank her helped lol, she leaned on me while serving and I haven’t seen her do that with anyone else, but I saw a ring on her finger so I wasn’t pushy, just friendly 
Again, I was pretty good with banter and I got compliments so it was nice ^^
At one point I had a want of getting my nectar extracted, and I feel that if I asked it might have been possible, but we were with family and family friends so I didn’t push, but hey that’s a sign that RotNW is processing well 
Also generally, I try to push RotNW to also increase my eggplant size, I know it’s more BDLM domain, but hey it’s worth trying, anything is possible! It’s a Revelation title after all!
Generally, I felt very positive today, also quite tired, I need to stay in tip top shape to handle 30s of TotDB lol
Edit: Also yeah, can confirm that TotDB highly reduce my alcohol tolerance, I barely had two glasses of champagne and I was done no alcohol life here I come 
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Subconscious stopped dream to make things straight.
After fleeing a military dictature with a baby, going in hiding with others
I got in a fight with a fun nice critter in dream(was having fun, but then it started biting back hard and then fleeing in hiding) and I lost it, started trying to exorcise or something to calm it.
Dream freeze
Sc: you screwed up.
Me: accepted what can I do to resolve?
Me: (whole stream of suggestions I don’t really recall)
Me: is that it?.. can you repeat please?
Sc: you heard.
Me: dubious
Sc: stop being annoying/insisting. Be grateful and you’ll get more, but don’t do it to get more. Stop being so wanting and annoying. Accept things when they don’t go your way.
Me: ok,thanks
Sc: really, that’s not difficult, you can do it
Sc: also stop being * pictures of me getting in over my head, being proud? Of things going my way bragging to myself getting in over my head* annoying
The cat came to lay on top of me (real life), purring, I pet it
Sc: yes, by loving, people will come, you will get what you want, but don’t do it to “get” things. Appreciate. Be loving. Like that (me petting the cat)
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I think that’s part of the script? At the very least a way that your subconscious is interpreting it.
This too. I think an interpretation of the authenticity scripting?
The subconscious outright saying things in dreams and even outside of them is so weird but also so fun if that makes sense. Dreams themselves get more fun too. Very much looking forward to hearing more.
EDIT: Actually wait, Saint said something about the “dots” and part of the way they script being that they actually describe pretty vague situations that allow you to fill in the scene with your own examples that are personalized to you. So you could’ve outright been hearing the script at points with how you were being shown examples rather than told words.
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It also shown me a time from when I first listened to khan where I was just chill, listened to a girl I met at a friend b-day, and in the end she let me touch her and dance with me. And said “Like that. Go with the flow”
But yeah if my subconscious went so far as straight up telling me it’s that it’s really important, and I know it is.
My subconscious got high expectations of me, I don’t wanna let it down
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I think it’s definitely the dots 100% then. You’re being outright shown the scenes and what to take from them, and being reaffirmed when you get it right. You’re making me rethink some of my past dreams now lmao.
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So since my subconscious started going with English after I started typing (instead of my native language French) I told it
Me: you know, I’m fine with either French or English
Sc: I know
Me: thanks for the advice
Sc: you’re welcome.
Sc: you are me, I am you.
And well now I’m just 4 minutes before my first alarm I believe? 1 hour before my regular alarm. I should take that hour and disable the one at 5am.
I need the time.
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I thought about what Sc said when going back to sleep, when I got to “accept things as they are” I was shown a stone wall. I asked “that’s a good defense?” And got a green checkmark
Then I saw your message I laughed a bit and was about to go back to sleep but sc said “you didn’t write the ‘accept things as they are’ bit” so I had to come back lol
But yeah, we already all are fighting the collective unconscious by being our best selves 
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There’s old structures buried under the sands of time, by excavating them we may dismantle them and repurpose
Edit: also, if we’re suppose to do 30 listening days per cycle as per listening recommendations, and with the current listening regiment of 2 times a week, that means the current cycle would end may 14, and the next start may 25, I should probably only switch RotNW for Thermae of Love then.
The next cycle will end September 3, which might then be a good time to go from Khan ST1 to Khan ST2
Edit 2: Since I’m still in recon (after 3 rest days, lol… though it’s only mostly being a hell of a lot tired and a bit moody) and it’s a listening day, I think I’ll keep to the same level as before 30s Khan, 30s RotNW, since it’s processed quickly and easily last week, so it’ll give more rest time until Thursday. and Thursday I’ll just run 15s of TotDB.
Edit 3: Honestly, I think I’d have no issue with recon if I was surrounded with people 24/7, only tired from processing. Yesterday (sunday, third rest day, birthday) my aunt told me how I look like I’d fit right into a lounger with how relaxed I was. I should install tinder too on top of the current apps. maybe others. I gotta do something to alleviate that thirst for social activities. and rest too. Not sure in what order.
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10/02/26 Rest day 1 post Khan1/RotNW
so yesterday I listened to 45s Khan and 38s RotNW, I tried to do 30s each but followed my feeling a bit, my subconscious said that’s irresponsible, I don’t agree, but I know it’s (I’m) just worried about processing, but as long as there is actions on my part (as long as I don’t leave my subconscious on its own with no outlet) it should be fine.
Yesterday I ended up installing two apps and going a bit on it, this morning my ex sent me a text to give me her new number, so I chatted a tiny bit and we convened on having a bowling tonight and she’ll sleep at my place.
“no slip-up, even if I miss you a lot” she said, “alright, even if I miss you a lot” I answered
I can guess she might be worried that we do something and that she’ll regret given we’re no longer together, that she might feel bad afterward because though it’ll remind her of good times she might think of how she “couldn’t keep me” and feel bad.
I want to offer her plenty of empathy and reassurance that although we’re no longer a couple I still like her a lot, and if she like me a lot that’s perfect as well.
I quit with her because I fell out of love with her, due to multiple crises she had due to her schizophrenia. And due to me not feeling that much loved. (for instance, at last year’s valentines, although I have been with her for like more than 6 months at the time she didn’t wanna do anything)
She’s been getting treatment at the hospital for quite a few months already so that’s good, I’m happy for her. though she still struggle to get an appartment and welfare but she get help with admin stuff.
This bowling was an idea on how to get her to have some fun instead of just thinking about problems.
No idea how that year’s Valentine (saturday) is gonna be, I planned a few activities on the friends meeting apps, we’ll see how that goes, though I don’t expect much lol (but I know this in itself is limiting).
Well, in any case, enough with the memories, it should be fun! Both tonight and this week-end!
Also, ever since last week when I started my cycle, I’ve been getting random erections during the day, so I’ve started reading books on tantra energy work the day before yesterday to learn how to manage the sexal energy and it has been… interesting experiences lol feeling my heart beating in my balls, having my whole vertebrae and torso heat up, and the like.
I wanna learn Sexual Kung Fu, and how to manage and convert sexual energy, and consciously cultivate it, though I can instinctively control energies already, but it’d be good to have conscious control.
in the past, when I was actively transitioning, I activated access to subconscious knowledge about meridians (being able to draw a map of the body meridian), external energy work, and feminine tantra techniques. Which I used extensively to give great pleasure to my lovers.
I’m guessing this more masculine leaning andro body that I was born in here is a good way to learn more of the masculine side of tantra and energy work. This would fit with my Scorpio Stellium too lmao. (6 Scorpio in my natal, 3 in house I, 3 in house XII, also 3 Capricorns)
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