Survival Instinct Spartan Custom

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So by the time I got to work and for basically the first half of my work day I had some flare up recon in the form of anxiety. It wasn’t the usual mind variety it was the kind where you just relax as best you can and stay present, in the moment and it’ll pass. I think it’s more bodily stuff, so for me that’s a good sign. That’s the deeper stuff.

This week off of working out has me replanning my focus again. I’ll have to focus on core, knee health, and elbow health. So those areas will be my focus and foundation rather than the explosive KB circuit stuff I was hoping to be doing again. I used to have a shoulder pain but I got rid of that. So I’m going back to basics again and taking it slow and steady. I might start doing some daily stair walking just for the conditioning and cardio aspect.

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I wanted to mention that with all the dreams I’ve been remember, they say we all dream just that we don’t remember them. I almost want to get on the dreams sub since it’s like that’s where most of the action in my life is anyway! Maybe I’ll toss that Dream Traveler module into my next custom just for that reason.

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Still having some of that slight anxiety/tiredness recon. But I was out and about already today and got enough positive reactions from others to keep me cool with the process. I even had one female smile as she sensed me coming down an aisle, she smiled and then turned to look at me. LBFH effects, another guy was like in a great mood and it was like he was having fun and I just acknowledged him as I was passing and gave him a head nod lol. Or else it’s just been neutral or if they’re not positive they present with like a shame reaction, I get that too.

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I’ve been enjoying the nice combination of LBFH and DRLD. I’m listening on the same day. Definitely feeling a lot more positive and feel like it’s a winning combo. The last time I listened I only listened to 2 mins each. My new cycle starts tomorrow and I continue to increase the listening time by 30 seconds each listen.

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Day 1 of my fourth cycle with LBFH, 6th cycle with my Survival Instinct/Spartan custom.

I listened to the custom for 2:30. It felt extremely light so far. After not having done 15 minutes for like 3 weeks, it just felt light. The first time I did a 30 second loop I could feel that it was adding a load for me to process. That’s because I started that cycle listening to full loops for the first couple listens until I brought DRLD in the lineup.

So I’m definitely interested to see how this pans out this cycle.

A few hours later: Now it seems there might be some processing going on. I was asked to kind of think some things out and go back in the memory banks. I’m feeling a little crabby now, lol. So having to do that mental work seems to have stirred things up. I also woke up after sleeping about 10 hours, I was so tired but got up because I slept long enough. I stayed up really late a few nights back so that also might be catching up with me.

But it’s workout time and I’m sure that will help shift my mood again. I’ve been procrastinating on my workouts again after a week layoff. But I’m also easing back into things and taking it slow so I can weed out those weak spots and find what is most important for me to focus on to be healthy and injury/pain free.

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Today was just Ascension Chamber at 2:30. Haven’t noticed much it’s been about two hours since I listened.

I have changed my idea of my LBFH custom. It will only have one core and that’s LBFH. I am erring on the side of caution in terms of not jumping ahead of myself. I’m really making it a continuation of my current custom, just geared towards more healing around love and feeling safe and being okay with solitude and getting free from attachments and negativity and focusing more on the right connections and just filling in the holes baby!

I really want to do an inner circle/PCC custom. That will probably be next but not until deep into next year. I’m taking the slow but steady route after having gotten enticed in the past, for me it’s just about really what do I really need looking at my life as it’s been and how i want it to be. just smaller steadier progression instead of trying to jump into a whole new reality instantly all at once.

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So my Ascension Chamber run today seems to have activated yesterday’s 2:30 loop of my Custom. I was really in the flow physically and dialed in mentally - just a quiet mind pretty much. Second half of my workday I had more anxiety. The second half there are more people around coming and going and it’s in a high traffic area. Because there’s still some of that anxiety around people at times, I’m pretty set on my LBFH one core custom. It’s really aimed at getting me over the rest of my holdbacks. But I will probably be surprised the longer I run my stack as is with DRLD. So I am set on the custom but it’s on the backburner because I’d ideally like to go four cycles as is before changing anything.

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I’m going to say at 2 listening days into this cycle and only making it to 2:30 I’m having some recon.

Today was listening day of LBFH and DRLD.

I think that’s just the nature of DRLD. I always held back from using it in the past and those were probably my limits speaking. So far it’s okay but I had a bout of anxiety for maybe two hours until I finally released on it. Then the mind stayed mostly quiet after that.

I will keep an eye on it. If it gets too intense I’d probably keep the listens to 3-5 minutes. But I think since I broke through this one, the incremental 30 seconds was a great idea. I’ll turn up to 3 mins on Monday my next day with my custom.

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I’m considering switching back to Chosen for my next couple cycles. I don’t want to drop DRLD for at least 4 cycles and it’s been 4 cycles with LBFH. My custom stays for at least 12 cycles.

So my rotator slot may be LBFH and Chosen until I feel like I’m happy with DRLD results then I’d make my next custom.

Something coming up lately is that I’d like to meet the right people for me who stick around. Maybe it’s just life where you hit it off with people for awhile and then since you’re doing your inner work and development those people end up dropping off. But my LBFH custom is attractive for this reason, I’d like to add in the love without attachment and attachment destroyer modules.

I still wish I had more juice on Code of Loyalty Module in my custom. Inner Circle would probably boost this. But so might Chosen. I’d consider Chosen From Within but not with DRLD in my stack.

Heck, at this point I’ll keep Heartsong in the running. I felt like the healing will pay great dividends for me.

End of day update:
Lol. For all my feeling low about my people situations, I went into a sandwich place to pick up my order. As I was leaving I hear the one cute chick working say to the older one, I like him, and the older one agreed and said I do too! ahahaha.

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Today was listening day- 3 mins of my SI/Spartan custom. I feel really light with it. I feel like I could probably stick to 15 minutes at this point.

DRLD seems to be pretty potent in that I’m guessing it to be the number one source of recon with LBFH. So that means it’s doing its job. The ride is a little bumpy and I expected that.

So I’m kind of settled in on my plan for the next cycle. Bring back chosen and add in Inner Circle. I will rotate that every 2 cycles I’m thinking with LBFH DRLD. My custom is the non-negotiable until I get to 12 cycles.

At that point I’d want to try out Wanted Black solo for a couple cycles.

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Still in recon. It’s in the form of planning my next stack. I keep switching around, oh maybe I should go with Wanted again. Maybe Primal Seduction, lol.

I won’t take it too seriously as I have 2 weeks left in this cycle. Other than that I’m really tired today.

For me it’s safe to say that DRLD is the real deal. I’m probably going to keep it in my stack for four cycles in a row. So that leaves me with deciding on what to switch out LBFH for.

I’m really considering parking everything at 3 minutes to finish out the rest of this cycle.

I also still consider sticking with LBFH. If I get that self love nailed I think that will just open all the doors. I know I’ll go back to it if I switch it out at some point.

Plus I do think if I had the self-love nailed I wouldn’t have all this conflict about not having friends. So there is definitely some healing going on there and that’s why the recon in the form of wanting to switch titles thus switching up the focus.

After reading the objective of LBFH and DRLD I think it’s a no-brainer. Just stay the course and ride it on out. DRLD does have Attract allies and resources necessary for your journey, including mentors, friends, books, and opportunities.

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The story for me has been that anxiety was my biggest limiter, along with lack of self love.

So the DRLD LBFH is proving to be a challenging but welcome ‘journey.’

Today I found myself with a much quiet mind after having had some recon and anxiety kick in. I kind of think it was the kind where your problems come to the surface to be dealt with. It was just nice to have some clarity and just quietness of mind and a sense of openness again.

I was so tired for most of the day but I did an easy workout and I think that really helped also. After that it was smooth sailing for me for the rest of the day/evening.

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First listen of LBFH and DRLD at 3 minutes this AM. Nothing to report yet. Smooth sailing.

I’m kind of thinking that my next title is going to be Rebirth. I am set on LBFH and I think Rebirth could really help me out after blowing through some limitations Rebirth will help me really break free from any unhelpful self-image. Since DRLD is pretty potent I’m fine with rotating that out with Rebirth.

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3:30 of my custom and since it’s Friday, 3:30 of Ascension Chamber.

Got news that I’m taking a hit to my pocket book, at least from my current jobs. I became my own boss in order to continue with my pt gigs. It turns out that one of the jobs is getting cut pretty much in half in terms of what I was making when I had a boss and was a clock in employee.

So I’m patient and fine with it. I like the work. I’m just being patient and going to let DRLD work its magic, my whole stack really. I can handle for a couple months as is. I wasn’t too concerned with some of the objectives of DRLD in terms of having a vision etc. But that’s definitely going to help me out now. I’ll need to come up with something and create opportunity for myself moving forward.

Still feeling some of the tiredness since introducing DRLD into the mix. So the breakthrough hasn’t happened there just yet.

I have noticed the fierceness coming back. I think it’s the SI/Spartan custom where I’ve experienced that before but I noticed that it really is a fierceness towards my limitations. I think this is definitely DRLD influence.

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I think the recon peaked for me yesterday. I was a little crabby until I realized what was going on then I laughed about it. But I was still a little moody for the day. Things weren’t going as smoothly as usual but I was grateful that 99% it’s pretty smooth sailing with things. So nothing really got to me and I just did my work as normal.

I was wishing I’d had 6 cycles of PCC under my belt. I didn’t know ghosting in business was a thing but I’ve been getting ghosted about my payment. We reached an agreement and I was told I’d get paid the rest tomorrow and for going on 3 days I haven’t heard a thing from them now.

I also think my stack is working on these things. I do have 6 cycles of manipulus in my custom under my belt. I’m on cycle 2 of DRLD and that will boost that even more because one of the objectives is something about stopping being manipulated. So I’m being patient and just seeing how things unfold at this point. I know that my stack could be ironing things out and if I have to find something else in a couple months I think I could manage. That’s where I also wish I was on Inner Circle, but DRLD has a little bit of that and my custom too and LBFH, so I’m hoping in a couple months things will really be coming together.

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this am was my first listen of lbfh and drld at 3:30. It’s been a smooth sailing day until this evening. Now I’m feeling a little sad. haha. I laugh because it’s a ride. At this point I know just staying the course is the best move but switching LBFH with something less healing is attractive. I’ve got chosen or cwon, but if it comes down to it I’d rotate with Chosen. I could do a 2 cycle rotation with LBFH and Chosen just to get a break from wringing out the stuff that LBFH gets to.

At this point Emperor is attractive as well. Business and more focused on my goals rather than socializing would be good for the winter.

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4 minutes of my custom today. Nothing to note so far.

I still think I might have to just ride it out with my stack as is for at least another cycle. I think LBFH is what I need more than anything and to have all the objectives nailed, will level me up further than anything else could.

I think this is where experience shines. It would be easy to switch to S&S and I’d still come back to LBFH. I think I’ll just use some will power and just stick with it.

I’m not having to deal with shit heads like I was. Now I’ve been noticing some interest or attraction from women. So I’ll take that as things are working and I’m still having feelings come up, which says things are being worked on. So it’s best to just stay the course once again and really go for it and maximize what I can gain from LBFH.

I think DRLD will have unexpected results for me in helping me to build and execute my vision. So I just need to give things more time and enjoy the successes also.

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Yea the healing is at work. I’ve some long forgotten memories pop up occasionally. I forgot how shitty people could be and how they would go out of their way to complain about you and ruin your reputation without ever speaking to you. And if they did speak to you with lack of respect and you wouldn’t take that from them, they’d still complain to your boss like it’s their right to treat workers like shit.

I’ve had moments of realizing that yea, I’ve come a long way. An almost boring life now is something I’m happy with! If the things I’ve got to deal with are what they are, that’s nothing compared to some things I’ve had to deal with in the past.

I definitely still have to add PCC if I want to get back into being in a coworker or dealing with people environment. I just think it’s a necessity. Just based on how being a legit person who was based in love and just got metaphorically beat down and ran out of all my past jobs due to just negativity of others and not be willing to take that kind of treatment.

I might never get back into a normal work situation. I definitely want to be independent and that’s best for mental health and everything else, freedom. I will go back to Chosen and PCC at some point. Wanted Black just might surprise me though, I’m planning for a solo run next year after 12 cycles of my custom. In the meantime I will stay as is in my stack. It’s foundational.

I’m feeling better about things and more confident and just noticing more that yea, I’ve come a long way. I’m feeling appreciative about it, finally able to sort of let my hair down if you will. Not all the way there just yet but certainly having those moments.

Evening update: Now I’m having some anger come on. That kind where your mind replays an old situation and sometimes it gets to the point where I just say out loud what I should have said then. I guess I was a nice guy doormat. I thought I was keeping the peace, yet nobody would have put up with what I did, so why did I? I’ve always been a treat others how you want to be treated. Well I leave people alone, but I made the mistake of finding some happiness within and that triggered people. Maybe the world is different these days. We hear all the time of people waking up. I know in my personal world things are quieting down for sure.

Definitely some healing and revamping going on. Yea it’s best for me to stick through it. So I’ll just plan on the same stack for 6 more cycles.

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End of day update: I’m feeling really good now. LBFH seems to be really coming through with the just good positive vibes for myself.

The rainbow after the rain.

I just stayed present and my mind was pretty quiet while I was working. Everything just working perfectly.

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So after ending the night and starting today feeling really great, the healing cycle begins again. I’m feeling some slight sad feelings coming up. Some different memories. Nothing major, I was hoping that that LBFH goodness would last longer but now we’re just starting the cycle again! Which is fine because it just gets better and lasts longer the more that gets cleared or healed.