Sungaze's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#102

I can well imagine that, but time will tell.
You always decide to the best of your knowledge and belief at a certain point in time. Whether it is right or wrong is always revealed later. That is the nature of things.
Good luck. :+1:

1 Like
#103

Last day of this cycle, 4th of Primal, 2nd of Wanted.

I’ll probably wait till the end of washout (sunday) before doing the usal evaluation of the titles objectives, 'cause my mood isn’t so good now still, and right now doesn’t seem they are doing nothing.

1 Like
#104

Last night we spent some time with two girls, one of them seemed interested in me, we exchanged a few chats
Then later at the club I noticed other looks, nothing more. Honestly it wasn’t uncommon before either.

The last few days I don’t have a bad mood, I would call it contemplative. I didn’t have a craving for social situations etc.
I’m more driven to meditate instead, circulate sexual energy and those kind of practices.

However I push myself into situations where I can see the effect of the two titles, especially Wanted.

Tomorrow I’ll will update with subs objectives

1 Like
#105

Completed: 4th cycle of Primal, 2nd cycle of Wanted

Primal

  • Generate a sense of natural, very attractive dominance - 6/10

  • Enhance and improve your naturally charismatic attributes - 4/10

  • Romance manifestation — find yourself around women who are madly attracted to you - 2/10

  • Develop a highly sexual, sensual, sexy, carefree attitude with women - 3/10

  • Eradication of social anxiety and approach anxiety in particular (mental worry and anxiousness over every detail in the interaction) - 3/10

  • Experience complete nonchalance and enjoyment of everything you do, especially in social situations - 2/10

  • Eliminate all mental and emotional blockages preventing you from becoming a highly sexual, sensual and sexy man - 6/10

  • Develop a sense of relaxed optimism, knowing that all is well - 6/10, this one is lower then before

  • Enhance your ability to have fun and be a fun person - 4/10

  • Experience masterful automatic calibration in social situations - 2/10

  • Create a mental shield against any and all forms of perceived rejection — never feel sad after rejection, or let a past rejection prevent future romance / social attempts - Still don’t know ?/10

  • Easy kino and verbal escalation - 2/10

  • The uncanny ability to be physically and mentally completely relaxed at any moment - 5/10

  • Automatic passing of social testing - How can I know? ?/10

  • Extremely accurate social intuition and calibration - Maybe a bit better 3/10

  • Betterment of social status - 5/10

Wanted

  • Develop an enigmatic aura of mystery around you that tantalizes, entrances and seduces others - 5/10 seems lowered now

  • Extensive physical shifting that is both guided by the most objectively attractive features your subconscious mind knows would look good on you, as well as your conscious guidance - ?/10, not noticing anything

  • Become the ultimate coquette — play the hot and cold game of seduction, making others swoon over you and desire you with all their heart - 2/10

  • Embrace paradox, imperfections and mysteries of human life without losing the strive for perfection — a quality that is of utmost attractiveness to all - 4/10

  • Use your personality, your life and who you truly are in the most attractive way possible, like an endless well of possibility that piques the interest of others - 1/10

  • Experience the nonchalance of a truly realized individual, one that has all the cards in their hands - Same as before, 4/10

  • Develop your desire for more sexuality, sensuality and romance, driving you to achieve more if you let it - 6/10 seems less then before

  • Attract and manifest romantic partners for the purposes of a monogamous relationship, or multiple sexual relationships - 5/10

  • Improve and enhance your seduction and sexual skills — perform better in bed, improved sexual stamina, overcome premature ejaculation - No, 1/10

  • Easily develop strong and assertive masculine body language and masculine voice - Seems less now 7/10

  • Easily develop assertive, strong masculine language skills and manner of speaking - Seems less now 8/10

  • Develop an extreme sense of internal power and strength - 6/10

  • Male sexual enhancement — increase penis size, erection strength and quality, staying power, etc - 5/10

  • General masculinity boost, including boosts in confidence, power, strength, invincibility, self-assuredness, and being comfortable in one’s own skin - 5/10 Feeling less confident

  • Relax into the sensual swirl of romance and seduction, become one with the dance of attraction - 3/10

So, basically I don’t see any of these improved, but some of them seems diminished :thinking:

I highlighted them by putting them in italics

If someone has suggestions, comments etc … I’m happy to hear

1 Like
#106

Interesting. I’d suggest maybe do a review of all the action you took for each cycle.

1 Like
#107

I’m not sure if I get what you mean, but…

  • Stop PMO
  • “Forcing” myself to get into social situation, where obviously there are girls/woman and where I should see any improvment in confidance, social skills
  • Practicing sexual energy circulation, arousal control etc.
1 Like
#108

If you mean if I did different actions between the various cycles, no they are more or less the same

1 Like
#109

I’ve been very thoughtful lately. The feeling of “everything will be fine” seems to have vanished, and I feel in doubt about my situation, financial, work, etc…

At the moment it doesn’t seem like a single thing in my life is falling into place.

I just keep going, no matter what life presents but there is this sense of but there is this mood of defiance towards life, God, the universe.

1 Like
#110

Yesterday I had something like a breakthrough during meditation. I have this shoulder pain from overtraining, I would say chronic.
During meditation I was finally able to surrender completely to the pain, merging my sense of self with it and then spreading it into the space around me, continuing to expand it to infinity.

My pain is gone from 80% to 20-30%.

My mood is a little better too today and I’m going to do what it takes to fix this shitty situation, little by little.

I still don’t notice much from the subs, but I’m not really focused on catching girls’ eyes or anything like that right now.
As mentioned above, I still don’t feel particularly social at the moment.

This is the 5th cycle of Primal, 3rd for Wanted. As suggested by @Samguy , I will consider adding Rebirth to the next ones to see if it makes any difference

6 Likes
#111

Trying to avoid any sexually related virtual content from my days.

It’s quite difficult because lately I’m having the impulse to watch something on a daily basis.

#112

Would you please enter a support ticket for further guidance?

1 Like
#113

@RVconsultant ticket #14067

1 Like
#114

Thanks to meditation I’m experiencing moments of stillness and peace despite life events.
Self thoughts about my social abilities are less lately, I don’t really care that much to be honest .

I’m noticing stares from girls again, but that’s it.

I still struggle to avoid watching erotic material, but it’s getting a bit more manageable.

#115

@RVconsultant what’s a feasable time for response from support?

#116

Last night I was at an event, to work as a sound engineer.
Of course, there were a lot of girls around, and I noticed stares and glances this time too.

What I notice though is that in this type of situation it’s as if I’m waiting for these looks, looking for confirmation that Wanted is doing something.

I don’t feel a particular attraction for one girl rather than another, and I’m not pushed to interact, but rather it is precisely to have confirmation that they would be interested.

I don’t know if I’m misunderstanding but I don’t think this is the “nonchalance of a truly realized individual”.

Indeed this is probably a sense of insecurity, and a need for confirmation.

#117

I would give it 3 business days. Is there a support ticket you are waiting on?

1 Like
#118

Yes I’ve opened this one as you suggested

1 Like
#119

I notified staff.

1 Like
#120

So, I keep looking for ways to take action:

Primal
I started watching a course on sexuality: partner connection, techniques and principles.
Also I’m still practicing arousal control and energy circulation. Control it’s getting a bit better maybe. Probably cause not watching porn, or erotic images on a daily basily makes me more relaxed on that aspect.
I still find it difficult to feel energy.

Wanted
I still train 4 a week, I’ve always did. I feel pretty good about how I look, but I have noticed that while with the first cycle I was looking into the mirror like “wow I look damn amazing”, now I have “up and downs”, sometimes I’m ok, other times my mind just look for defects.
I’m also trying to put myself in social situations where there are woman etc.

I can’t think of much else for Wanted, other than trying to approach. It’s still look very difficult to me, I don’t know what to say nor feeling particularly interested in someone.

This is my last week for this cycle. I still have no reply from the support, so I’ll probably add Rebirth for the next cycle, or LBFH (which I’ve already used 5 month).
I’ll ask in the “ask questions” section of the forum anyway

1 Like
#121

So, ending this cycle, 5th of Primal (3,5 months) and 3rd of Wanted (2 months) here is what I’ve noticed.

What I’ve previously described as diminishing was PROBABLY recon.

Sexuality: It its now been 5/6 weeks since i last PMOed.

During this period of time I’ve still practiced masturbation but it has become like a form of sexual practice: no visual stimuli, feeling energy moving around the body (and MCO), deep breathing, relaxation, feeling the space around my body…

I’ve done 20-25 min sessions without ejaculation, and ended with some grounding and dan tien breathing.

Despite the stimulation and non ejaculation I feel very calm and grounded about sexuality. I’ve retained semen in the past but I’ve always “looking for sexual stimuli” during the day.

This has reduced a lot lately, I still have the impulse to watch some “virtual sexual content” but even if this happens it’s felt as boring, at times ridiculous, fiction…

As I said I’m also following a course about sexuality.
I’m starting to perceive depth to sexuality, it’s deep connection with nature, universe and human beings.
I now realise how, despite my age, I had a very basic, fictional image about sexuality (and I’m noticing how most people do)

On the attraction area (Wanted) I’m still not seeing much apart from gazes, this seem to go with days though.

Aesthetically, I had this “farstretched” image of myself during the first cycle of Wanted, now its very much oscillating between “I’m ok” - “I don’t like this or thatthing”.

What I’ve noticed though is much less “need to be wanted”, I’m not looking for attention or at least I’m much more relaxed about it.

It seems I’ve also lost the anxiety about not having a sexually active life, being alone while getting old.

I don’t see much improvement in the social area, I stil don’t approaching girls for eg. but now is more like I don’t have much interest in doing so.
I’m not sure if it’s wanted non-chalance, primal groundedness or just masked social anxiety

Overall I feel very calm the last few days. Most of all, I trust myself.

2 Likes
Just curious about your thoughts