I know what you mean, when im hungry and fall asleep i dream of eating food and as soon as i wake up im ordering or cooking the same food i dreamed about or i feel drained
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Rest day.
Here we are, a solid 1.5 weeks since I’m back in the area. Work has kept me busy during the weekdays—since I was gone so long I had a lot to catch up on. Not to mention, there are some critical deadlines coming up. Thankfully, my subliminal stack has helped me be quite productive—sometimes a bit much for my own, given the work hours I’ve had as of late! I’ve got to relax. It’s why I intentionally kept last weekend light, and this weekend initially wasn’t going to have much until my friends and family started coming up with some ideas. So I went to a movie today and I have a few events tomorrow.
Over the past week and a half, that trip’s city has been in the back of my mind as I compared it to where I live. You see, one of the reasons that trip was important was because I wanted to see whether I’d like to live in that city. I had a very positive impression from my trip, although there are of course some tradeoffs. The weather’s not as great over there and living there would be quite expensive. However, my job has an office there and I could meet more people. It’s a place that’s known to be good for social mobility and also for dating (something which has been tough to come by over here, even with my subs). Amazingly enough, I’ve come to terms with the idea to saying bye to everyone here (it’s the region I’ve been in my entire life) were I to move out. In some big ways, I’ve framed it as a positive! Anyway, even if I want to move out of this area it will not be until sometime next year. There’s just too much else going on for now. There’s no need for me to figure out here a definitive yes/no answer; even my roommate, who had a positive view of the city at the end of the trip, has had more conflicting thoughts in the time since we’ve gotten back.
That’s OK, neither of us needs to figure it out by the end of today. We’ll let this, along with our experiences in our area, tell us closer to decision time what to do. However, I am very confident that when it’s time, I’ll make the right decision for myself.
Alright, so what am I to do here? My current stack is just as I mentioned in my run listed 9 days ago:
- Truly Wanted (QTKS Custom, 3 min)
- Career Sub (5 min)
- I’ll reveal this soon enough, when I make my custom thread asking you all for feedback on a custom design centered around this title!
- Revelation of Dreams (30s)
Tomorrow’s the AsCh day so I’ll be running TW + RoD + AsCh, likely with some specially tuned durations to emphasize TW.
More than subs, though, I’ve been thinking about what I can do to be better. Particularly, what can I do to be more interesting of a human being? To be more relatable, to be one who can connect better to others? In addressing this issue I feel I have underutilized manifestation (at least as of late). I recognize that my lists have become very sparse since early August. Oddly enough, it felt very natural to do this; It has been three years since I discovered Neville Goddard-style manifestation. (Readers can find the journal Man for Himself where I wrote about that). However, I want to get back into it to especially manifest changes in myself. This is what I now write this journal for—to deliberate over what kinds of things I want, as they can translate into manifestations.
I know what my high-level objectives are, and that’s reflected in the subs I’ve chosen. Let’s hone in on Truly Wanted, because when I think about how I want to be better I think mostly from the perspective of what’d help me from a romantic and (even) social sense.
What do I know? I mean in terms of facts and cultural knowledge. Things I can talk about with other people. Common topics of discussion. I think about this a lot especially when people bring up a certain sports team or perhaps some festival/concert/etc (so I suppose having more experiences is part of it). It makes me think, I should start watching that sport, going to concerts/etc so I can have more to talk about with others. At this current point in time I am not opposed to such things, but I wouldn’t say I have the natural inclination towards such (otherwise I wouldn’t be here writing this). One way I acted out something like this was by getting Spotify Premium so I start listening to more music, and discover the latest songs. The motivation there really is to foster more social connections. A similar line of thinking makes me think about watching more shows, reading the news (a slippery slope, that one), and other stuff that simply makes me more ‘relatable’ so to speak. It’s why I put in the module Wisdom Personified in my custom.
Through Wisdom Personified you’ll utilize all the knowledge and experience you have, including the ones you forgot you had, while being guided to rapidly develop and find new ones.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve connected with plenty of folks over aspects of the human experience and some other deep stuff, but not everyone is going to be open to that level hence me asking for me to change like this! I also want to be part of more conversations, even if it’s just at a lighter level.
Game. There’s the online game and the in-person skills, too. I have access to a pretty good resource for online game but I simply have not utilized it enough alongside a (not-fully-developed) habit of using the online pathway. Additionally, I need to put myself out there more for the in-person skills. But like I hinted at above, it’s a bit challenging due to the idiosyncracies of my area. It’s why even though I know of in-person bootcamps that could teach such things, I would be hesitant to do them while I’m here. Still, I do want to go to many events and have fun talking to others while letting Truly Wanted shine through. But I don’t give myself much pressure on this right now. Pressure isn’t the right thing to give myself, anyways. I look to have the intrinsic motivation and energy to go out there. I need to be consistent in both my study of game and also application/practice of it. Currently how to get to that point is unclear to me.
What’s interesting is that although Truly Wanted has very little recon, it also does not have such overt results so far. That’s QTKS working in both ways, as QTKS purports to provide highly naturalized results. However there are some very particular things I’m looking for from my custom and I haven’t experienced them yet…to be fair, today marks just one month since I got the custom, and the standard listening was disrupted during my trip.
Listened:
- Truly Wanted (3 min)
- Revelation of Dreams (30s)
- Ascension Chamber (7 min)
No duration adjustments as you can see. Just did not include my career sub since that’s not needed for the weekend and I sought more focus on Truly Wanted.
Today was a good day. Slept in and got plenty of rest (RoD + a sleep supplement helping here), a good workout in and then a day of events and hangouts. I got to have more conversations about my recent trip, which got me to continue thinking more about a potential move. More on one significant factor after the section break I added below.
perhaps some festival/concert/etc — Me, yesterday’s entry
One tie in to what I wrote about yesterday occurred today, because many people I had invited to for one of my events today weren’t able to attend because they were instead at the concert nearby. It surprised us, seeing how many people were interested in that artist. Once I heard how cheap the tickets were at the time my friends purchased them, though, I wish my friends had told me about the event. Although I do not currently have much of an existing interest in that artist, I would have been willing to go to have that experience and also say that I went to one of their concerts, that I went to that stadium for an event. It could be worth discussing. And as superficial as it may seem, how else might I drum up my own interest in such things, especially things that my friends or connections may like? Am I to go through every single top artist?
I already have enough idiosyncracies and unique qualities of my own, so I do not worry about losing my individuality in the face of following my friends and others here. Rather I see it as a way to build more social cohesion.
Jokingly I told my friends, “thanks for the invite” today after they got out of the concert. One of them told me that there’s more concerts coming up so they’ll let me know about those. I do hope they do so! I’d like to explore these things and have more common experiences.
One of the biggest perceived issues in a potential move-out has been in the idea I’d say bye to everyone in this area, this area which I grew up in my entire life. However it is not so bad when I recognize that although there are a lot of people in the area I know (or know of), in a practical sense most of them don’t mean much. After my family and my top friends there’s a sharp dropoff in the value added (if you will…) by everyone else.
- There’s also some subsets I’m better off not interacting with. I’d fine saying bye to everyone in that certain ethnic community, for example!
- A lot of friends just aren’t in the social mindset. Nothing like the friends I met up with over in the city I traveled to, for example.
- I didn’t quite develop close-friend ties with my coworkers over here (for a few reasons—I do recall journaling about that last year), so not much to miss there.
- I can’t even say I’m saying bye to dating opportunities among the familiars here. This year I truly did cross off every single person I know whom I would have considered in that context.
There’s a friend of mine whom I have in mind right now as I type this. They live in this part of the country, though many hours away by car. They inspire me a lot to seek out adventure and new experiences, even if it means moving away from the familiar.
Listened:
- Truly Wanted (30s)
-
Ultimate Programmer X (5 min)
- “Career Sub”
- Revelation of Dreams (30s)
After reading reports of people doing well with 30s on WB, I got curious and decided to try out 30s of Truly Wanted today. Result: there’s an uptick in results. No recon, of course (just as 3 min had no recon).
- I went to the gym today and my workout area was mostly women for a while. That’s pretty unusual.
- At work, I get this feeling that some people around me were looking at me, in an admiring sort of way (not my team). Of those I noticed, they were women. This includes both people at the company and visitors. Though I can’t say any were of my type haha.
- I was picking up the mail today after work. I had changed into my home clothes and wore a hat before going to the mailroom, so I didn’t look that great. However, as I got out of the mailroom this woman walked by with her dog, looked directly at me, and smiled. I do the same, and we both nod our heads and move on. (It was just minutes later that I thought, “Darn! I should have said something to her. Even if just for conversation, it would have been cool to do.”)
To think this uptick occurred from 30s despite running at 3min+ for sometime is surprising. I am intrigued to see what else can happen should I continue to run at 30s.
UpX continues to work beautifully as I am able to focus on my work and be productive. This is way better than how things went during the first half of the year. Honestly, if only the title had been out sooner and I had the wisdom to think I should do some career maintenance with my sub earlier! Oh well, lesson learned. I am motivated to keep UpX in my stack for a bit—at least until I have a custom centered around UpX to replace it with. Maintaining my career with the help of this sub is great!
The rest of today is focused on the maintenance of my social media business. I wonder if the focus and productivity from UpX will carry over to this.
Rest Day.
I have not been so productive in my personal time as of late. It’s been two weeks since I returned from my great trip and it seems I have settled into a lazier frame. The next real thing for me to do is book accommodations for my next big trip (which is early next year), but I have been holding off on that due to sheer laziness! However, I do need to get a move on. Time is passing by and it will take a bit of work to plan out that entire trip! And this time, there are no co-planners so I have to hold myself accountable for it!
The results from yesterday’s subs are still there, though it is not quite so pronounced today. I am thinking that after this week—the week of the 30s test for TW—I will bump up the listening time of the sub to 1 min. OTOH, I did get a bit more distracted on non-work thoughts today. Perhaps it’s TW doing its thing? Might I need to shorten the runtime of UpX so I get more pronounced results? Say, from 5 mins down to 3 mins? I could try that out tomorrow.
Only productive thing I can think about right now is scheduling more content for my social media, but that’s not really that productive.
My spice tolerance has rapidly increased in the last few weeks, a clear consequence of the energetic effects of my stack.
Listened:
- Truly Wanted (30s)
- Ultimate Programmer X (3 min)
Deferred to end of day (not listened yet):
- Revelation of Dreams (1 min)
So I switched it up a bit. I shorted the duration of UpX to see if it’d help, given the interesting boost I have gotten in running TW for much less time. I also deferred running RoD to until I’m close to bedtime, so I am not dealing with that scripting during the day.
Observations:
- Again, primarily women in the gym during my morning lift.
- I complete my lift considerably faster than usual, especially given the morning time. However, I was also motivated by the fact that I woke up later than usual and I wanted to start working soon!
- Programming activity was pretty limited today given what I had to do at work. However, when I did get the opportunity I found myself really getting into it, getting focused and excited to work on my favorite part of the job. I know for a fact my odd start time for work, along with the work-from-home environment and the evening event slightly shortening my workday contributed to the relative productivity. But I will say that even in the non-programming stuff I did today, I handled it gracefully.
- I do not find that my releasing my sexual energy by myself is a problem energetically during the day, or even with regards to a good deal of my results (it seems my energetic body recovers too quickly for me to see much of the old downsides). My voice is doing pretty good right now, for example. However, it is annoying because it wastes time and doesn’t provide much benefit. I intend to cut it out. Best way to do that is to keep looking towards the benefits of holding onto that energy, of the lifestyle where I have complete abstinence from that (and instead have a life full of fun times with women
).
In the evening I got to do something fun for my hobby and brought a friend to join me. He brought his girlfriend who I had not met before and we got along well (I attribute Truly Wanted and me not caring much about trying to be attractive—though be friendly—to this result). It turned out she had the same hobby as me so the conversation amongst us for the evening was pretty good! Especially so, when I explained the origins of that hobby (it gets fairly personal and deep in ways people wouldn’t expect for what is typically seen as a lighthearted and fun thing).
It was a notable moment for me because I got to share this story once more. It reflects a fairly significant time period in my life. I’ve shared it one other time this year—and that was seven months ago now (I even remember the date because this journal entry mentioned the “good lunch hangout with a friend” where I shared that story). Both of them remarked on how introspective I can be, and how I have a truly unique perspective they haven’t heard before. She appreciated being able to hear the story, especially in light of a similar challenge she had in the past that was related to the same hobby. What’s interesting is that my guy friend has known me for sometime yet had not heard of this origin story until today.
He remarked how it’s interesting when one realizes that there are other people who have all sorts of struggles and challenges happen behind them, and it’s not apparent most of the time because it’s not shared.
It made me remember that I’ve had a lot happen over the past several years to get to where I am today. Very appreciate of myself.
Rest day.
Pretty good day, although work is relentless. Tomorrow’s a listening day and I hope to enjoy the results!
Rest day.
Just checking in today, to keep up the momentum. It’s a fairly lazy day—main point of interest was exploring a town that’s in my area. I hadn’t been there before and its downtown seemed cool, so I visited with a friend. Not much in the way of my subs today, although there was a girl at the gym who I wondered about. It’s a girl I approached in the past (near the beginning of this year) but haven’t talked to since as she had seemed uninterested. To be honest, I’m not that interested in doing anything there unless she talks to me first.
My wishes:
- AsCh gets updated to ZPv2 MAX.
- We hear about what will make ZPv3 different from ZPv2.
- More details on the financial title that’s being worked on
- My stomach gets back to normal (bad bloating as of late)
- I get a massive raise
Listened:
- TW (1 min)
- UpX (3 min)
- RoD (30s)
- AsCh (3 min 30s)
The highlights of today:
- I got many hours of sleep thanks to a sleep supplement I took the previous night. It’s the same supplement I got off of early this year. I bought it with some caution to use on weekends and perhaps on Wednesdays (the day of my most intense workout, so I’d like the best recovery).
- I restarted my dermaneedling routine for my face. I had been doing it every week for sometime to grow my beard, however it dropped off during the summer. With how empty today was, I decided it was time to try again.
To think about:
- I was not very talkative today. It was interesting to observe this. We’re coming up on nearly three weeks since the end of that trip and it appears I’ve settled into a state where I am not seeking to be so social. However, I look back at my previous entries recently and realize that I am looking too much at how today has gone specifically.
My wish: to be a more naturally talkative and social being. To be one who is very well cultured and knowledgeable about all sorts of things that let me relate to others. To have friends be reaching out to me and taking me on new adventures. To overall be more motivated when it comes to my adventures.
Takeaways:
- I am going to settle on running TW for 30s for a bit. This gives me more observable results than at 1 min.
- I need to start setting limits on my working time. While it has been helpful and sometimes necessary to stay late at work over the past few weeks, it has not given me the room to keep progressing outside of work. For one, I need to book accommodations for my big trip in the future.
Listened:
- TW (30s)
- UpX (5 min)
Deferred: RoD (30s)
Running TW at 30s, I definitely see cool results. It was evident in the behavior of those around me at work today. People being more receptive to my thoughts and ideas, and I feel like I can talk more openly. Synergizes well with UpX given my job function. No problems with running UpX at 5 minutes, it’s a great sub that helps me be quite productive!
However, I wish there was a way for me to figure out when would be a good time to move up in duration from 30s to 1 min for TW. My last two runs of TW at 1 min weren’t that interesting, so I moved back down.
So far, the least interesting part of my stack has been RoD. Based off of my sleep analytics I cannot say I am satisfied with my run of RoD so far. In fact, I have considered dropping it from my stack.
So I call upon a few people to help me pick out a third sub that could play nicely with the rest of my stack. What could I be looking for? Well, my main painpoint right now is “not being into game” when it comes to women. I see all these materials about online game when it comes to the apps, and even potential bootcamps/etc for the in-person interactions. I am of course running my QTKS custom Truly Wanted (Wanted Black + IC as cores) to make myself more attractive, and did put in quite a bit of verbal scripting.
However, it has not quite made me the person who goes up to women and start flirting with them. I do see that this is a design of WB.
The beauty of Wanted Black lies in its simplicity – you just have to be yourself. There’s no need to put on a facade or engage in elaborate performances. It amplifies your innate qualities, infusing your persona with a mysterious edge that commands attention.
Still I wonder, am I really going to achieve the success I am looking for while I am just myself and letting my custom take me on the ride? As powerful as my custom is designed to be, I genuinely wonder sometimes if I should have something else in my stack. It is not like I have had those amazing results with women like the people who report on the main Wanted Black thread. The weird part is, I am not even worried about it. I do know I give myself all sorts of reasons for my current situation, such as:
- I live in an area that has more guys than girls
- Girls I meet often tend to be in relationships
- My current lifestyle (e.g. after work, on the weekends) is not that conducive to meeting completely new people.
- Due to the idiosyncracies of the sub-community I’m in, considering people from there is not a good idea (even if I do know them to be single). I will say that as I write this, there is one person whom I wish to know better—but only if it happens in an organic matter (while we may be connected on social media I would not say that we are even friends right now).
FYI: I started running Truly Wanted in Mid-August.
Listened:
- TW (30s)
- UpX (5 min)
- RoD (1 min)
So far, TW @ 30s seems to be the sweet spot as far as duration. I notice some result from it each time. Today I got a number from someone off the apps, though it was in response to an ultimatum-type text I sent a few days ago. It’s kind of interesting since it’s been a few weeks since we matched yet no conversation has happened. People at work continue to be receptive and I’m enjoying that.
It makes me think that I’ve got to get myself to go out there and be more social. I am starting to think that perhaps my third sub in the stack should be something related to a social goal! While I have been enjoying all this time I’ve had to myself lately, I should at the least hang out with my friends more! The fire in the belly for it just hasn’t been there. Is Wanted Black making me passive? I don’t think so, but it may have gotten me to focus on the things I already like!
One clear result: Businesses have been reaching out to me or have been receptive to me reaching out for collaborations. In fact, there are currently 4 that I am planning for (it’s the highest I’ve had to concurrently plan for in the entire page’s history). This to me is an indication that my custom, particularly with “The Spotlight” module is working! That module must be boosting my social media adventures.
As usual, I am not quite sure what to think of RoD. Perhaps what I can do is with my “new parameters” test (see below) I can remove RoD from my stack for a week and see if my sleep changes. If it stays the same, that suggests RoD wasn’t helping much and I can move on from it.
What’s Next?
Well, my next run is on Saturday. This is where I get to try out a new set of parameters:
- UpX (3 min). I’ll try this out for a week to give it a fair chance, to see if I notice any difference.
- RoD: Drop from stack. Maybe on Saturday I’ll run True Social, not sure.
Ideas for third title:
- True Social (Social booster)
- Daredevil (well, I ran this last year and it didn’t get me that far…)
- Libertine (redundant, not even ZPv2 Max)
- Sex & Seduction (directly based on outer game, but its scripting is so old!)
- Heartsong (…still not great thinking about how I had this in another custom for so long and it yielded so little. So I am wary of touching this again for a while, at least not until after ZPv3).
From the WB thread I got this comment. Don’t worry, I did not forget.
I think my bullet points earlier mostly lean into the second category: “those that are formed from just unchallenged pattern recognition going a little off the rails.” I will say that statistically, it is true there are more guys in the immediate area, so that’s not made up. However, the other stuff can be changed should I want that to be the case. I have to change what I am doing. The “sub-community” part does fall into the “protect us in some way” category, and it’s not really something I worry about changing since it’s not a priority for me to look into that community. Still would be nice to get to know that person better, but I won’t get over my head about it.
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In that case I’d recommend Dragon Reborn Limit Destroyer. That one is really good at helping you challenge beliefs of all kinds.
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@Fractal_Explorer i am curious as to how that would stack with WB! The only healing sub I’ve done all year is DR ST4.
I did run it for a bit with WB. But I determined it was too much for me and switched to SE.
During the time I did run it, it got me to really question long held beliefs. You really have to be ready for it and call yourself out on your faulty beliefs. It’ll shake things up, WB already kind of does that too. That’s why I had mentioned in my initial post you have to identify what type of beliefs you hold. I think DRLD was too intense for me, it moved fast but my sense of safety was up in the air and it caused a lot of anxiety.
All that to say. If you can handle it, it’ll help you blast through WB sticking points. But you definitely have to be honest with where you’re at and how much you can handle.
Listened:
- TW (30s)
- True Social (5 min)
- AsCh (3 min 30s)
Yes, you read that right. I did something a bit different today by running True Social, in light of the game night me and my friend were hosting at our place. I didn’t run UpX to make processing room for this, and I basically dropped RoD in order to allow for this. I dropped RoD primarily because I felt it was not helping in the ways I had hoped for. While I certainly perceive much more of my dreams now than I did before RoD, the time to fall asleep and the duration of sleep was what I was looking to improve upon the most. Unfortunately, those two stats (which I’ve tracked for years with the help of an app) haven’t improved much from the average.
As I write these words I see that there have been quite a few titles I’ve tried now that I drop due to results or relevancy. I don’t feel that bad given their price and my income. Nice to support SC’s development. I do want to try a sleep title again when we are sometime past the introduction of ZPv3 (wonder how Paragon Sleep will be then)! Anyway…
I do think True Social was operating in the background during tonight’s event. Quite engaging and I think it was playing nicely with IC/WB (the two cores of my custom). The one girl who stopped by very briefly was very welcoming to me (despite the rather interesting way the group hangout she was in way back in many months ago—and yes, that was the last time) and took the initiative to get my number. She also added some funny details for her contact info on my phone. Not a person I’m interested in romantically but I think we can be friends, so I would like to meet up with her in the future. Perhaps her other roommates can join us for a future game night. (And quite a few other people too, but that’s a discussion I’ll save for another journal entry)!
I am cautiously optimistic about what it can do. It got me to shine when I needed it to, but during the day leading up to the event things were a bit boring. What do I mean? I seem to have developed a homebody character since late July, (which is the time when I entered a new era of relative inner peace following the end of the thread then—documented in this very journal)! So I don’t go out as much. But I feel I should be more outgoing, which is why I decided to experiment with True Social today. I did not feel a need to be more outgoing, but I did do better when I was in the right environment. I guess I just have to go to more of these environments in lack of such a natural impetus.
This is interesting. I am not sure how to gauge this. Have you run other healing titles? As someone who has run Dragon Reborn—once through all four stages as Q/Qv2 and another time as ZPv2 ST4 for one rotation earlier this year to defeat what I now realize was a deep-seated issue stemming from childhood—I can say healing titles are pretty tough, but I’ve also handled the most challenging one. However, that last time had the benefit of having that time of the year dedicated to dealing with healing. Honestly, I was considering having healing come into the picture for its own dedicated time once again next year, though I would like to know from @Forum_Ambassadors whether DR:LD or DR would be better to throw into my stack. The main concern with doing DR (despite my familiarity with it now) is that it might try to address everything instead of the stuff most relevant to WB.
It’s different for every individual. I’ve had to learn the signs of when something isn’t working or I need to pivot with the subs. Otherwise I just keep running into a brick wall and overwhelm myself and shut down. I’ve run healing titles before, but DR was one I could never make it through. As someone that never learned proper emotional regulation it was not a good idea for me.
DRLD isn’t full on internal healing. It’s got a lot of push to it. I think it would stack well with WB. Remember I think it was back with Q titles they ditched the healing scripting in titles because it slowed things down. DR will probably slow down WB momentum, just the nature of elaborate healing titles.
It’s been my belief for a while now it’s best to focus completely on healing with a time limit, exclusively on action oriented subs, or very light healing to help overcome challenges. Mixing heavy healing and action seems to result in diminished results on both ends.
In 50 words or less, what do you want to accomplish?
Sunday Reflections
Let’s start off this entry with a great question asked by @RVConsultant.
Remove everything that’s getting in the way of me fully acting out the script and success of Wanted Black, and to allow myself to move to a new level of prosperity. I wish to allow this while the rest of my life flows smoothly. (44 words)
My main issue with throwing in a healing sub right now is that it could be incredibly descriptive. This is based off of my experiences with healing subs so far, which is not that much to be honest. My only successful healing runs so far have been around Dragon Reborn, which is the most powerful (and general) healing sub offered at SC. I have not run any other healing title for a long time. What I am most concerned with by running a healing sub right now is that while I may clear out internal limits getting in the way of WB from executing faster, I may wreck the rest of my life in progress. And there is a lot I do enjoy about my current life.
You see, since the end of July I entered my latest era of relative peace with where I’m at in life. The weeks since then have gone by with contentment. I enjoy my days (though the weekdays currently have a bit more work than I’d like them to), even if a lot of it is spent by myself doing solitary hobbies. Whether that’s watching the shows, learning through interesting videos or (moreso recently) advancing my social media related hobby, I find that I have a lot in life to be thankful for. I consider myself to be at a relative stable point and in these past two months I’ve been enjoying it. And why wouldn’t I? There are plenty who would be very jealous at the kinds of success I’ve had in various aspects of my life.
Look, I’m even going to present one of my projects to the C-suite of my company in the near future. (Mind you—this project was done before I even started UpX. Career stuff has always gone pretty good, so that’s why career-related titles haven’t been a part of my stack for most of my subliminal history)
Really, what am I missing in my life? It’s just two things:
- Owning a house. To be honest, I don’t care about doing this for a while. I’d rather not make this kind of purchase until I’m sure of a few things, including the one below. My subliminal stack hasn’t much to do with it so let’s set this aside for now.
- Having a satisfying relationship.
I thought that sometime in the past two months the impetus for me to go out there and do things would kick up to a high level would happen. It hasn’t though, and I do not feel bad about that either. It’s good that I have not carried around such feelings day-to-day (I’m pretty tired of that nonsense and as I write this out, I realize I should be careful of what I wish for). I know such feelings can be powerful motivations for change, however, so at the same time I wonder “what’s going to motivate me this time?” I acknowledge that I have observed results from my subliminal stack—especially with the QTKS sub which features WB (and basically eliminated the most obvious recon from my entire stack). However, the results are not as grand as I’d like them to be. I want to move faster.
Perhaps I am yet again hiding something else from myself? Is this the moment in which the impetus I was looking for arrives? What will it take?
To put it in mathematical terms, check out this graph illustrating maxima and minima:
I think that in the last two months I’ve been enjoying my time at a local maximum, where things are great across all the parts of my life that currently are here. But the absolute maximum would have those in addition to the relationship and whatnot. I asked myself this question the other day:
Is it possible to imagine my life being as it is right now, difference being I’m in a relationship?
The answer is, yes it is possible! However I will admit that it is sometimes not easy to hold that visual. The reason being that sometimes I think that I have to be changing myself (as a person) a lot in order for a relationship to happen. I think that I conflate the idea of changing the way I present myself to people I’d be interested in/vice versa (e.g. flirting and ways to communicate with women) with changing myself as a person (e.g. core beliefs). Based off of this reasoning and the bullet points I shared earlier I say that yes, there are some limiting beliefs that are held right now. I’d be lying if I said I was comfortable blaming everything on external circumstances. In the midst of all the homebody behavior I haven’t even been studying game (whether for the online apps or for real life)!
Dragon Reborn ST4, while very powerful is broadly focused and is likely to be disruptive. The current situation is unlike the earlier time this year when I had an internal challenge that strongly gripped my daily life. In other words, I need something that is very focused to the subtle blockers that are currently at hand.
So because of all this, now I’m starting to take @Fractal_Explorer’s suggestion to run DR:LD seriously. I want to give it a chance, so I intend to run it tomorrow. It’s alright if it takes over from what True Social was going to do, because True Social just amplifies the “life of the party scripting” that’s already in Wanted Black.
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What are your thoughts right now about DR:LD?