SubliminalUser - Taking Massive Action

Journals - Major Programs
#188

I Wish I Could Say

I wish I could share the following with certain people. I simply can’t tell them due to what it entails—a big shift in my life, my location, and my choices.

…

I’ve had a lot of challenges. More than most people around me know. The members of SC and especially of the readers of my journals know that I’ve had a fair bit of inner turmoil throughout the past few years. However, I’d say that’s an understatement. I’ve had such turmoil throughout my entire life. I’ve been searching so long for inner peace, for lasting happiness. To truly know my place in the world and then to achieve it. In this tumultuous world, I’ve looked within to understand my identity and my capability for change. To see to it that I can fully come to terms with my past and then move forward to accomplish my goals and fill in the gaps. In a way, to catch up to other people on things some might say I “should have had long by now.” For today, one of those key things is a relationship.

But look, that was on the back burner for a long time as I focused on accomplishments in other areas, such as my career. Did that tradeoff result in massive success? Yes, I do think so. It’s worked out for me in the domains that I’ve focused on. The ones I truly believed I had to do something about.

I could go on about this, but the fact remains that I’m currently not in a relationship…and I’m not actively looking right now either. Sure I have one of the apps on my phone, but I just haven’t been diligent about it. That I could change by starting to consciously build the habit of using it so that when I do become serious I have the base behavior ready to go—I could even start doing that tomorrow, because I wouldn’t mind having some fun ( :stuck_out_tongue: ) but it wouldn’t be for a serious LTR which I’d say is the end goal. Anyways, all of this begs the question, why is this the case?

I started this year with a rather aggressive stack and the attitude that I’d be going out all the time. The idea is that through various events and trying to be as social as possible I’d meet people and also find someone (rough of a challenge that can be for some people). Closer to the middle of the year I even got some high-quality photos that could help me out immensely on the apps. My career is going well, my desired side interest became much bigger this year, I took my fitness to new heights and I’ve gotten closer to a fair amount of new people.

And of course, I defeated the 20-year-long issue that had resided within me for so long. I call it a type of burden. Some might say it was a trauma. I sometimes hesitate to call it as such out of concern doing so trivializes others’ traumas or that it is a way for me to play the victim game. Whatever its accurate term is, it had been a part of my life and I thought it was going to be a part of me forever. I am already so old, I thought. How can it change at this point? But it did, and I truly have to thank Dragon Reborn for that one.

The conclusion of that issue and the brief one that occurred in the summer is what’s led to the current era (starting around August): the era of inner peace. That inner peace I was looking for so long has been here for the past few months. The current state I’m in where nearly everything is better than ever before—especially internally—is what I want to enjoy. I want to stop and smell the roses for a while. I truly wish to enjoy this peace, this happiness. I want to let all the goodness roll in. In this era of peace, I’ve seen great career advancements, and my social media interest risen to new heights. I go about my days enjoying the time I have to myself and with my friends. I’ve enjoyed all the travels. This state I’m in is so good and I want to cherish it. I don’t want to disturb this peace by now trying to look for a relationship in a region that is infamously busted when it comes to dating. I want to enjoy what I have right now.

What’s left for me is the cultivation of my character, of a proper relationship. I have wondered for quite some time about the idea of moving out of this area I’ve lived in my entire life. And now, I’ve decided that next year I will move to THAT city. It makes even less sense for me to try looking for an LTR here, save for the (relatively uncommon) case where I find one where the other person is willing to move to that other city with me.

The only constant in life is change. This time period of enjoying all the blessings I have in life will transition into a new one at some point. Certainly, the move will be a forcing function for that as I go into a new city with few people and with social/romantic goals in mind. There will come a point where the internal motivation will rise up again to drive me towards a relationship, and I’ll actively look again. Right now, however, I am in such a great time period of life that I must enjoy, and that I want to cherish. I want to remember my final days of living in this area with great positivity, not with sadness or in recollection of failed efforts to give myself an excuse not to move out of the area. I have looked for the state of happiness and here it is.

So until then…allow me to enjoy the peace.

What’s Next?

Yeah, that was a lot. Even more is coming up, though it’s a personal improvement project. I’ll be embarking on a water fast once again to deal with weight and some odd health issues. I’m really looking forward to seeing how that goes given the frame I’ve built up throughout this year with weightlifting! I’ve mastered the skill of water fasting already so this shouldn’t be an issue. It’s that I have to deal with several things during it:

  • Subliminal runs: I’ll still run something. Tomorrow, I will do my final loop of TW, UpX, and AsCh at their full durations then take a break from them during the fast. During the fast, I’ll be running short loops of DR:LD; while my body undergoes profound physical change during the fast I’ll jog the brain only a bit as far as subs go.
  • Trip planning. I have a fantastic trip next year that needs a lot of logistics figured out. Additionally, there are a few things I need to do for my next trip which is…less than a month away :joy: Yeah, A LOT of trips going on.

I’m very excited for the fast as I intend to lose a lot of fat and bring out more of the goodness that Wanted Black (in my custom) has been scripting into me. I also wonder how it’ll affect my brain and whether it’ll allow me to process subs and do mental healing better moving forward.

Silent readers, I wonder what your thoughts are on all this! :slight_smile:

1 Like
#189

Ran the new WB (“Wanted Black November 2023 ZP”) today at 5 minutes, no recon. I guess the QTKS custom changed the way I process things.

My plan on Saturday: SSX, WB, and AsCh all at their max durations, then take a relatively long break.

1 Like
#190

No recon from the above run. Though I wonder if my drive changed as a result of it, there are too many factors going on for me to tell.

I’m thinking I can run one more loop of SSX and WB at full durations tomorrow, then do a two-week washout.

#191

Just finished this run. Honestly SC has really done themselves well. I got no recon from doing these full duration runs. @Forum_Ambassadors

Now let’s see what occurs with two weeks of processing.

2 Likes
#192

Hey everyone, today marks my first time listening since the last run. I was out of country within those two weeks and visiting relatives, so I didn’t expect much to happen in the way of the subs I ran. I did try using the apps while abroad and would get matches and some short convos out of them, but ultimately stuff didn’t go anywhere. That’s fine since my trip wasn’t about that stuff—it was focused on visiting family.

So now I have listened to (all at full duration):

  • WB
  • UpX
  • SSX

Minimal recon from these, thanks to NSE. However I wonder if my sex drive was affected at all by it… Anyway, today was a slow day as I adjusted to the usual working day. I did visit the doctor to get ready for a future trip, although I unfortunately needed to reschedule some shots to another time. That irks me since it gets closer to the expiration of the current insurance plan by which I can visit said doctor. I better be sure not to mess that one up.

Anyway, I’m going to continue on with the selection of titles as is. Though, with the next run I’ll drop everything down to 30s and work my way up to a good run time (likely 5 mins or less).

#193

This new title, PHOENIX (reworked Rebirth), has got me confused on what to do next. Were I to slot it into my stack, it’d replace UpX. Replacing UpX is OK given we’re in the last month and the programming-related items are fairly clear to me. I also know that subliminals stay in my system for a while, since we have word from Saint that subliminal processing can last several weeks. So the new stack hypothetically is:

  • Phoenix
  • SSX
  • WB

I want to experience a profound transformation in my stack’s romantic elements, so I’ve been waiting for an updated Rebirth. Now, would switching to Phoneix get in the way of the following?

  • Launching everything I need to launch at work by the deadline (end of next week)
  • Being productive in my additional work item after launches through end of the month
  • Being able to have a compensation-related discussion with a higher-up (even as-is, the conversation is not necessarily guaranteed to result in anything—it’s just that I want to try)
  • Having good hangouts with people
  • Avoiding pmo (relatively infrequent nowadays, also doesn’t affect me much though it annoys me in its time wasting)
  • Making I overall maintain my happiness in these months (Dec-Jan)

Well, items 1 and 2 feature items which to me are fairly clear so I don’t think UpX is needed there. In fact, item 1’s path may already be outlined. Item 2 is clear to me since it involves a specific framework that I’m the author of, so I don’t think UpX is needed for cognitive functions. As to item 3, I plan to converse a little over a week from now. The run of UpX I did would still be processing then. It might actually benefit me to run Phoenix since it removes limiting beliefs. Items 4 and 5 benefit from Phoenix’s work on releasing constraints and fostering of nurturing environments. Item 6 can be worked on through Phoenix as well.

It seems to be a matter of ensuring I pick a reasonable runtime to begin with, and then gradually ramping up. I’ve noticed that with the NSE my tolerance for loops is much higher. After all, I ran the previous day’s subs at full duration.

My options for tomorrow’s run are:

  • Option 0: Stick with the current stack.
  • Option 1: Run Phoenix Solo for full duration
  • Option 2: Run new Phoenix stack at 1-3 mins per sub.

What to pick, @Forum_Ambassadors!

I should drop AsCh from my stack temporarily due to the changes that are going on in it.

#194

Someone had asked Fire a similar question and he said to run Dragon Reborn: Phoenix by itself for a while before adding it to your stack.

1 Like
#195

@Lion, that comment motivated this option! wonder if “a while” could be just a week. I have a lot of events with great food coming up, perhaps such could be noteworthy counters to any recon.

#196

In that case, it is better to postpone running Dragon Reborn: Phoenix to after the New Year.

#197

Ah, figures this is what I’d have to do. Thanks for the advice! Continuing with the usual stack.

1 Like
#198

I figured out what’s going on with SSX. Although I don’t experience the classic recon symptoms, I’ve kept on pmo’ing since I started my recent runs. I can certainly say it’s not because I was missing it or aching for it over the past two weeks while on vacation (never even thought about the stuff!). This must be because of my runs of SSX increasing my drive. It seems other people on the forum have reported something similar, too.

So I’m going to knock down the duration of SSX to 30s (already ran it for 1 min earlier today) until this particular issue improves. Ideally I can run SSX at 30s without feeling like I have to engage in the aforementioned activity before I move up to 1 min.

#199

Listened:

  • WB (30s)
  • SSX (30s)
  • UpX (30s)

A much more tolerable dose. My drive didn’t shoot up like crazy this time. Certainly it didn’t distract me from the things I needed to do today. Not that it was very much—the day was focused around planning for my long vacation, so I hung out with a longtime friend for most of the day. Got to enjoy good food, too. Speaking of which, I hope Wanted Black can raise my metabolism to the point where I do not get fat from all the awesome food I eat. That, and keep my motivation up for exercising daily. (I was already lifting 6x/week, now I am adding in cardio 7x/week—keep in mind, I very loosely did cardio a few days a week in the past). It’s become a necessity for me to be very active.

I need to get going with certain hobbies and with planning out my trip more aggresively.

Changes coming to Stack

My next run will feature UpX turned up to 7 mins, WB at 1 min and SSX at 30s. From previous journal entries I recall UpX and WB worked fine at such durations.

In January I’m going to run Rebirth solo for a bit, before stacking it with WB and SSX.

1 Like
#200

Listened:

  • UpX (7 min)
  • WB (1 min)
  • SSX (30s)

Hmm. I may need to knock down SSX to 10s, the lowest possible dose.

Update: may just drop SSX for a bit instead

2 Likes
#201

Ugh, the side effect of running SSX showed itself even today, on this rest day. I guess being a person who’s not looking to go out and meet new people right now (choosing instead to hang out with all my good friends and have adventures with them when I can) and one who’s been working remotely a lot hasn’t done me well in this case :joy:.

It seems to me I have to drop SSX for the rest of the year, since it’s a bit incompatible with my current lifestyle.

Roadmap

  • Now: UpX + WB (+ anything else? Let me know if there’s something appropriate to run for the rest of the year)
  • Most of January: PHOENIX
  • After: Phoenix + SSX + WB

@Forum_Ambassadors

1 Like
#202

Listened:

  • UpX (9 min) (intended: 7 min)
  • WB (7 min) (intended: 1 min)

Listening durations are off today because I listened passively on my phone while working before realizing I overran my intended durations. Phone audio tracks aren’t set up to auto cutoff at the intended durations.

The “side effect of running SSX” did not show up today, thanks to a few big factors:

  • I worked at the office today, not at home
  • I didn’t run titles until the afternoon. (And I didn’t run SSX)
  • I kept myself busy with outdoor events through the evening.

So I can’t really say I’m safe to add back in SSX or anything like that. Not that it was my intention, given what I wrote above. Two titles is good enough for me. I had a good meetup today with a friend where I discussed my future plans and also shared a lot about myself. Was awesome!

#203

Now Running PHOENIX!

Running 1 loop of Phoenix at full duration as I type this out. After this run, I plan to wash out until the beginning of next year. My counter to Phoenix-recon today is:

  • Drinking my protein shake (right now)
  • Shower (next)
  • Meal afterwards
  • Cool holiday party with peeps in the evening

I am motivated to make massive changes in my life. There’s so much to write about, and I think I will run Phoenix for a while until I am truly reborn into the character I wish to be.

1 Like
#204

Reflections

Alright, I’ve got some time to reflect now. Phoenix got me to think and feel very critically. That’s how I knew the sub was doing its job because I was feeling some strong emotions that I hadn’t felt in quite some time. During this age of prosperity, it was certainly unusual to feel these feelings. Today, I’m going to structure this journal based on what my plans are for the future (including subliminal runs) and the thoughts surrounding said plans.

Let’s start with the big change: I’ve decided that I’m going to move out of my area. I intend to move far away, practically to the other side of the country in fact. I’ve only told my close friends, not my family yet. They’ll know soon enough, as I intend to dedicate a significant portion of time with them after they know about this. One key trip I did earlier this year helped me decide this, but the notion of moving out of my area has been in my mind for more than a year (in fact, one can find my SC journal entries from '22 which discuss this idea).

There are a lot of events that are going to occur before that move next year, but when they are done, this desire will compel me to take massive action to leave this area. I’m leaving as soon as I can. To summarize why, I’ll say that I’ve gotten everything I’ve wanted to out of staying in this area, and what I want next is much better served by moving to the destination. That place has a much better city life and is far superior for social and—you guessed it—dating life. Get ready for me to explain (and perhaps rant) a bit.

I’ve tried my hand at dating here and unfortunately, it’s disappointing. Without getting into too many details I’ll mention that the notoriety of this region being bad for dating and social life has made itself evident in my experience. My friends who also live in the area can only (unfortunately) agree with me on this point, especially those friends who have traveled extensively and/or lived elsewhere. I did know about the region’s reputation for being a bad area for dating when I first moved out of my parents’ place but still wanted to give living here for a bit a shot (not to mention, I wasn’t quite ready for moving so far back then). Everyone I know who found relationships after college while living in this area has done so through systems (e.g. long-distance or arranged marriage) which I will never buy into. I know that I want to have a long-term in-person relationship with all of the awesomeness (and yes, complexity) that comes with it.

Social stuff has been pretty bad, too due to the boring suburban environment that doesn’t offer many things to do in the towns. It’s reflected in the people, too. Lots of cliques. So many homebodies who I would not have been able to meet were it not through other friends. I’m glad a lot of friends from college stayed in the area, since that’s how I had met them. I thought about how these people had met and what they usually do and realized that no matter how outgoing I could become in the area, I would’ve never met them! This is a huge problem given the nature of my entire subliminal stack—for me to progress in results with WB and SSX I should going out often and putting myself in situations to meet women, for example. But the girls* I met through my guy friends rarely went out to events or anything like that. They had met through the apps (and just so you know, these people have broken up since).

So due to the above I also hold the position that I’m in the wrong environment for the subs to work at their best. Now, I will concede that part of the issue does lie within me. It’s not like I have amazing game or have gotten all I can out of the seduction titles here. Those skills need to improve. However, it’s hard to do that in the current region with it not being conducive to the in-person interactions I’d need to practice. Still, I was thinking about the importance of the skills for my journey. Several weeks back I was visiting relatives in the country my family is originally from. It’s a more conservative one, so things like arranged marriage are still relatively common there. In some discussions where this method was brought up (as well as similar ones where guys from say, the U.S. go find someone in the Philippines to marry and bring back) I pondered on the merits of such methods. While I once thought such methods weird, I found myself agreeing and even saying that I support those who’d go do such things. It’s like they’re sticking it to Western culture and how screwed up it’s become when it comes to dating and finding good stable relationships. However, just don’t suggest it to me—I’m not for it. I also realized that such methods work only when the people involved are strictly looking for certain criteria (most of which can be considered as that which makes a relationship sufficiently “traditional”). I know that the relationship I seek is uniquely going to come from one who is a product of Western culture, so the overseas marriage method cannot work for me.

Simply put, I’m just gonna have to get good. But that’s why I’ve been at SubliminalClub trying to find the best romance stack for a long time. I know I can get good results using the tech, I’ve read so many people’s entries about their amazing results using the various romance subliminals. It’s not like I can’t get good results with subs—there are a lot of runs that I’m happy with (looking at RICH, DR, Mind’s Eye, CHOSEN, UpX). Funnily enough, none of them are romance subs so far. And now, I’ve decided that alongside the sub run, I’m going to have to make a hard change by shifting my entire environment. That hard environmental trigger to move to a much more conducive environment (some might say it’s among the best in the country) for dating should make a monumental difference in my romantic development.

I know I’ve been a bit angrier about this since the middle of yesterday. Not a coincidence that I ran PHOENIX shortly before that time. It was especially triggered by a conversation with a good friend I had that evening at a party, when I also learned they’re moving out of the area. And they’re just like me—a native who’s grown up in the region and hitherto never left, working in the same industry. We shared notes (though not on dating, still including social stuff though) and found ourselves agreeing on nearly every single point. They’re making an even bigger jump by moving out of the entire country which I highly respect. Reflecting on that I realize right now that I feel upset not only because of the shortcomings of this area but also because I had duped myself into believing it was all perfect. (I should cut myself some slack, though, as I’ve always lived here and simply was resistant to this kind of change for a while.)

The important thing, now, though, is that I know what I need to do for the near future. The current plan for next year goes through the first half and is focused on getting myself to change massively. It’s why I already ran PHOENIX in preparation.

  • January: Run Phoenix solo.
  • After: Phoenix + WB + SSX. (I need the hard skills of SSX).
  • +3 months: Re-evaluate the use of Phoenix, and keep WB and SSX.
  • WB and SSX to be kept in my stack until key goals are accomplished (big one: the stable LTR) in the city I’m going to move to.
    • I must be diligent on a romance stack in the way I was diligent on the Chosen-based stack until I got my key promotion.

Even once I’m done staying in the city (as I consider the move a temporary one), I don’t think I’ll move back to my hometown. I’ll be elsewhere to settle down. Where yet, I’m not sure yet, but it needs to be good for my life overall. It’s a place I’d want to buy a house, yet it can’t be so financially burdensome as to prevent me from traveling the whole world.

In a call earlier today, a good friend of mine suggested that buying a house isn’t a good idea for me since I want to travel the world. I thought about this and while the idea sounds appealing due to saving money, I realize that it’s not good to hold off on buying for life. A house can be useful, even as a home base. Real estate prices in all my desired areas just keep going up (as is the case in the lot of the developed world…), so I wouldn’t want to keep waiting until I suddenly can’t afford anything. I can also make it work financially by renting it out. However, I do want to meet another high-income earner (who also wants to travel the world with me) to make it easier.

This is all to say—I can’t wait to move out and start a new life, as well as let all the subs take me in a new direction!

#205

It is yet another rest day. My mind continues to churn. I wonder if it was right for me to run Phoenix for this last week of the year :joy:.

The main thing that got me pissed off today happened when I visited my parents for Christmas. While the actual interactions were just okay, I was mad in the back of my mind for not being able to share what my upcoming plans were with them. I know I cannot do that just yet—it’s simply not the right time. However, I was frustrated because the topics they were discussing (mainly around actions I should take for the future) didn’t align with my plans. I don’t think there’s anything I can align on—they just have to come to understand when the time comes for me to share what I’m going to do. It just sucks I can’t say anything now, and instead, just write out my feelings here and talk about these issues with my friends who are also in similar circumstances and are planning to do actions quite similar to what I talked about above. I’m glad I’m not alone.

What I want to do closer to the end of the year is run Phoenix and take a magical supplement together to see what’d happen. Could I accelerate my healing? I think so.

#206

As we’re in a new year, I’m setting up a new journal. Please continue along with my adventures in the thread below! I’m looking forward to reporting big things there.

Closing Thread Request

@RVconsultant I would like to request that this thread be closed!
@Forum_Ambassadors let me know if I should tag you instead. I haven’t seen RV be active for some time.

#207