For sure a sign, you are sending out energy and others pick up on that.
I like this way of thinking, just have fun and with no strings attached, let things flow naturally 
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Yesterday
A friend of mine informed me about Mercury Retrograde and to be careful of it, as it’s going on until January 18. I was warned that progress in certain regards may slow down until that date, and some odd stuff can occur. Now, I don’t know how much Mercury Retrograde is true and especially how much of its effects tie from people’s belief in the notion, but I will say this: I’m getting hit pretty hard today and currently I don’t feel so good.
I woke up today with one of the worst nights of sleep I have had in a long time. It makes the declining sleep quality I had during my recent break look good in comparison, and it seems this time EF wasn’t helping me out. In terms of direct causes I can only speculate on a few factors:
- The moderately spicy hot chicken I had for dinner (but I’ve had spicy hot chicken for dinner before, it was not like this)
- The rainy/stormy weather of the night/early morning (dubious; statistics show me rainy showers give me a great improvement while “rain” gives me a slight decrease in quality. I guess rainy showers is lighter than rain?)
- I was thinking a little too much about that girl mentioned recently, even after the advice received. (Basically, ideas about how to go about the things I should do.) It has been quite some time since I’ve lost sleep due to overthinking, especially overthinking about specific people.
Honestly, I woke up pissed at the idea that I’d lose so much sleep over thinking about a woman, especially one who I’m not even that close to. I vowed to not allow that to happen moving forward (even if this bad sleep didn’t occur due to this). I am transforming into a KHAN. I can’t let myself get tripped up so easily. Sure enough, I’ve thought much less about that person after this & throughout the day.
I still went to do my lifts, but my performance definitely suffered due to the lack of sleep. And work, well…I had to leave the office early and call in sick. By the time lunch rolled around, the lack of sleep got to me. Even the drive back was unenjoyable and I really cannot be thinking too much about work right now. There’s some serious business I need to get there later, but when I get to them I will do it right.
I felt something surge within me—probably from Khan—while I was lifting and on the way to work, but it’s faded now. I think the sleep quality is just getting in the way.
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Today
Listened:
- EB
- EF ST4
Because I went to bed early yesterday, I woke up early today although I spent much more time in bed than usual so I was very well-rested! However, doing the workout in the morning was especially tough because my muscles aren’t used to lifting that early in the day. Still, I completed all sets and reps as planned. I’m sure EF is going to help me improve as time passes, too. In fact, EF is already doing its work because I get a lot less bloated, food coma, etc. after meals nowadays. I was also pretty mindful about meal size today even when eating outside, and I am also feeling an internal push to be healthier.
In today’s dinner hangout, the few things I noticed within me are a relative nonchalance during the conversation, yet I put in the energy at the right times and got a friend’s friend interested in my social media business. Got a new connection (potentially a new friend that way). I’m really liking being able to use the weekdays to have fun and make stuff happen in my life, rather than waiting for the weekend to have fun. Although, until performance assessments are done I should probably put more time into work…whenever I can focus, that is.
There was an odd period of time in the middle of today where I just blanked out and wasn’t productive at all. I wonder if that was the odd sleep schedule and caffeine use, subliminals hitting me hard then, Mercury Retrograde (joking here), or something else.
Let me tell you guys, it seems this stack of subs is processing and progressing things way faster than any other stack did in the beginning. This is especially notable because of a few things:
-
I’ve never run any of the titles in this stack before. Official recommendations suggest switching out one title at a time when changing stacks (though I’ve never followed this, before/after the recommendation was made).
-
EF ST4 isn’t even in ZPv2 yet. Well, that’s likely a factor in why the changes from it aren’t as pronounced yet (though it is being run right after EB and it IS a physical shifting sub so the time frame expectation for certain benefits is going to be different).
The previous titles I’ve been running, as well as the internal changes seen within me where I have become more willing to open up my mind and manifest great things for myself, must be synergizing better with subs than ever before.
Okay, that’s nice, but why did you quote @Tobyone?
So I decided to call the individual who wished me a good year 2 days ago and I picked up some clear signs of attraction. I hadn’t read or responded to their message up until today and I ask about making a call (never done this with them before) and they’re immediately down for it. During the call, I got to hear an (ever so slightly) sweeter voice and lots of giggling during the call, even while I said normal stuff or perhaps even lame jokes 
. It was a nice call, just a few minutes long but I enjoyed hearing from them and enjoyed that they clearly enjoyed hearing from me. I even acted slightly differently (intending to be more attractive) during this call too—I can tell both my knowledge of the situation and my subs were at play. Pretty cool stuff!
And here I’m sitting right now with a voice that is rather unusual to observe on a Thursday night. It’s a little deeper and more masculine I would say. My voice naturally fluctuates through the week with it being deepest on a particular day of the week, and right now my voice is like that day.
I for one find it really cool that these changes are happening to me and I accept them wholeheartedly. This is my year.
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Bad sleep again, last night. My sleep graph is eerily similar to that of 2 nights ago. My suspicion is the subs are making me process a LOT and I need to slow down a little. Doing this by reducing all main sub runtimes to 5 mins.
Rest Day.
As the above message suggests, I was a bit irritated waking up with bad sleep today. I suspect I’m being hit with a LOT of processing from the subs which is making me stay up. As a result, I’m cutting back on durations from 15 mins to 5 minutes. The exception to that, of course, is Libertine (being run tomorrow) since it’s a weekly sub.
Today was a lot of drudgery as I did work mainly on my performance assessment. It’s a drag to review all the work I’ve done during the long time period involved. After that I went to the sports center—pretty fun and I got some good pictures out of it, some I could even use on the online apps since I’m currently missing action photos!
There isn’t much to say after getting back home, other than that I just enjoyed a good meal and am looking to sleeping in. I’m also looking forward to tomorrow with its events and the first time I’m busting out Libertine in this stack!
Listened:
- Libertine (15 mins)
- Khan ST3 (5 mins)
I’m happy I got to sponsor the business today up in the city as it made the day much more lively and exciting. It started off fine with my workout and trying out the occlusion training equipment (I returned it, planning to get better stuff), however, it got really cool at the sponsored event. I ended up meeting two new people today as my female friend brought a friend, who brought another friend. We all enjoyed our time there as we got to have free stuff and an interesting convo. 
The friend’s friends left early, so it was just me and the girl during most of my time in the city. Yea, she has a boyfriend (already knew that) so the point of the meet with her was to catch up (it’s been a while), see how my subs were working, and also just have a fun time. One thing I thought was funny was the way she described her boyfriend and being nice and , she sounded unsure of herself. I pointed this out and she went back and forth on it before simply stating that she’s bad at describing people. Very funny…
She was a lot livelier in front of me compared to before. It was pretty surprising, especially as she still describes herself as someone who doesn’t go out very often and is fairly withdrawn. In some ways I felt like I was talking to a different version of this girl. Not out of the question that the experiences of last year changed her, though from what I heard there was nothing particularly life-changing even by her own note. Here I think Libertine and Khan were doing something. We hung out for quite a while after the initial event, and in fact, she went out of her way to make my visit to the city more worth it (this city being a solidly long drive from where I live), hence we stuck around for a while and got dinner at a pretty good place!
She was glad for inviting me to this event and thought that now she should visit my town sometime, a gesture I liked—though I recognize that words are cheap.
Now one thing I do know is that these subs have been processing over the course of several days and some really pronounced effects can happen on the rest days. For example, the moment I discussed in the journal entry below was on a rest day.
So I’m interested in seeing how Libertine processes over tomorrow and the rest of the coming week. My top questions are:
- How long will its effects persist? Ideally I would like to see it be powerful during the course of the whole week of course, but that could be a tall order for a first run (next run is scheduled for the upcoming Friday, 6 days from now).
- How potent does it get? I talked about effects becoming most pronounced not on the day of the run but after. When would it be for Libertine?
- How are the ways in which it will affect my experience as I become more and more of the scripting found within EB and Khan ST3? I really wonder about this one because it’s stated that Libertine doesn’t provide any growth on its own and if there are no results from it, it’s because it’s not being backed up by that foundational/base scripting that comes from such subs as Khan.
There are a lot of things on my Libertine wishlist based off the description. One is having Libertine give me an online effect, such as more matches on the apps or people getting affected through text or voice calls. Let’s see whether they will happen.
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Rest day.
Today’s a pretty good day. I didn’t do that much in the afternoon, besides my social media stuff. I was gearing up to use the apps more but got sidetracked by an unexpected evening event that lasted the rest of the day.
That event was cool though because I got to see people I haven’t seen in years. And now some of us will be hanging out together on Tuesday!
Listened:
- EB (5 min)
- EF ST4 (5 min)
As you can see, I have cut the listening time of the subs by 3/3. This is to prevent my brain from being too wired and causing the sleep issues which I suspect are coming from the subs. From my understanding, 5 minutes is still considered a proper run of the sub (while not being a micro loop).
I woke up fairly well-rested today (better but not ideal) and I did well in my leg-day workout, with the exception of the last exercise where I seemed to peter out a bit early. I worked from home today, which meant minimal interaction with people besides my roommate. That’s fine though because the main focus of today was getting as much work done as possible. The self-assessment is due by the end of tomorrow, so I’m minimizing as many distractions as I can. Additionally, I had a longer-than-usual workday, spurned by the desire to get work done but also due to a longer-than-usual lull in the afternoon where I didn’t want to work and instead watched YouTube videos. I found that unusual given the run of EB, but I don’t feel too bad. Watching funny/entertaining YouTube videos is a much better option than some of the other nonsense I used to do!
In the evening I decided to take a warm shower as part of a technique to have better sleep. I also spent a bit more time on the apps and made some improvements to my profile that I think will help out. Let’s see how it goes. Services I wish I had better access to include a photographer who’s well-versed in taking effective photos specifically for the apps, as well as a service to get photos accurately rated.
In other news, I have quite a few things happening this week.
- Tomorrow, I have one hangout planned that goes into the evening, featuring that group from yesterday.
- For Wednesday I set up dinner with the woman who I had called a few days ago. She was receptive to it, and that much is evident through the texts. Wednesday is the day I’m running Khan and will be doing arm day, I hope both help me out
- For Thursday, currently setting up a meet.
- Friday is when I drive down for a short trip.
Rest Day.
It was a fairly eventful day both in and outside of work. At work, self-evaluations became due so there was a big rush for that. I was so relieved when it was done, knowing the rest of the week will be relatively smooth sailing at work and I’ve got more great stuff to look forward to.
The fun became immediately after work as I went to practice my sport for about an hour and a half. The problem was, my morning workout caused me to fatigue fairly quickly at the sport since similar muscles are involved in both. I’m thinking that up until the competition I have in mind is over, I’m going to skip lifting (for the same muscles) on the day I practice the sport. That will help me get much more out of my practice.
After that, I did the interesting meetup with the group I had met up with on Sunday. Overall it was kind of interesting hanging with a group I mostly haven’t been well connected with for a long time…on top of that, throughout the hangout I sat next to this person I didn’t know until Sunday. This girl was…a little interesting. While she had a pretty face her character suggests to me that she might be trouble. That, the unfamiliarity with her and the odd nature of how the group hangout went—the guy who was the center of the social connections here was pretty drunk—just made me a little inhibited in expressing myself. Or so I think. Anyway, I still connected with her on social media afterwards. It’s great that she lives in the area but…I don’t know what I’m going to do with that info (if anything at all), even if I think I should be meeting more girls.
Perhaps my intuition tells me she’s not my type. Unusual to hear that, especially after the push I’ve been giving myself through subs and all the inner conversation. But hey, it is true that not every girl is going to be my type.
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Listened:
- Khan (5 min)
Today I got to try out the new training equipment for my arms as part of arm day and the pump I got was crazy! This is really promising stuff and I’m going to keep it for my arm days in the future, all the while knowing I have to be careful not to get too carried away with it…
In other news, during that workout session, I set up a lunch hangout with one of my female friends (Casey), in fact, someone I reconnected with only late last year after many years without contact. Amazingly, it worked out and we got lunch just a few hours later! Great conversation, but unfortunately, no segue into her being able to attend the event I’m planning to host at my place later this month.
The evening plan I originally had for today with the other person (Alice) fell through because she caught a cold. However, she was hopeful about meeting up another time—this is where I suggested the event I was planning to host. A bit more messaging and I realize her friend is actually out during the day I originally suggested. On another note, the friend from the city, Sam is down to go to this event on that day but I’m not so sure about hosting it at that time now…
Basically, I’m trying to set up my event with a proper ratio of guys to girls and I don’t want to mess that up with a weird ratio the first time around. I’d rather just move the event to a different time in the month.
Want an interesting scavenger hunt?
Bonus points to the reader who recalls when I first mentioned Sam in a much earlier journal 
As you can see I have started to give these people pseudonyms because, at this point in my journal, I’ve already mentioned quite a few people, a fair amount being women. Now, even if I don’t plan to date these people or something of that nature, I still think it’s good that I’m talking to more women than before. Doing so is progress, in a sense. Not to mention, I’ll be getting to test and observe the effects of the subs I’m running where EB and Khan are sure to affect my interactions (EF indirectly given changes in appearance). On top of that, I could run a kind of “social circle game” where I can meet more people through existing people. Have women introduce me to more women and stuff like that.
Something interesting happened on the apps. After getting feedback and understanding that one of my pictures wasn’t as good as I thought it was, I took it out of my profile. Within minutes I received an email saying that I got a match and a message. I opened my app to find…nothing changed. What happened? Perhaps there was a glitch in the system? I choose to take it as a sign of what’s to come. Sort of like an echo traveling back from the future, hinting that things online are changing very quickly.
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Hey everyone, I went on a short break recently due to a trip this past weekend but don’t worry, I’ll be back to regular journaling soon.
21 days of the stack is on Saturday. After the break that’ll follow I’m going to do EB + Khan ST3 instead of EB + EF ST4
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Today
Rest Day.
It definitely needed to be a rest day, given all the sleep challenges I had during my recent trip. I tried my best to sleep in, only to find myself waking up at a regular time. Yet I still found it promising for I accomplished it without the use of my usual sleep supplement (instead I’m using a certain novel supplement that’s going to be fairly temporary).
I still lifted in the morning since I was eager to make progress, especially on my arms using the new equipment I got. It was a good workout, though I struggled with the usual weights (probably due to sleep). The most interesting thing here is that a certain girl looked in my direction quite a few times, and near the end of my workout in her area I felt that she looked at me a bit longer than usual. I felt like going to her and saying hi, but I stopped myself from doing it because I didn’t know what a good opener would be.
The workday was fairly straightforward as the team was just getting started on its operations for the year. I worked from home, though to be honest there wasn’t much to work on. Smoothly, I transitioned into the evening event which just so happened to be taking place at a restaurant within walking distance. Not only did I have some awesome food but I also got to talk to a bunch of new people! Not that I think I’d see them outside of the event, but it was still fun to go to and allowed me to keep up the momentum of having an eventful year. Not to mention, I got to spread the word about my own social media page which was nice.
In other news…I moved forward with planning for my personal event later in the month (locked in for the following Saturday, a day I intend to run at least Libertine and Khan). I called Sam and talked for a bit about this—it looks like she may be going on her own instead of inviting a +1, so I’ll have to think about who else I’d invite.
Miscellaneous
Here are some things from recent times, that reflect changes within me.
- At the aforementioned event, a group of women told me that I have great, clear skin! I have also noticed in recent times that the skin on my face is looking very nice
- A cousin thought I was pretty tall, in fact, one inch taller than I actually was!
- My talking style has become more…solid. I talk with a certain level of smoothness and consistency I’m liking a lot.
- When I was on the trip recently, I got a few more matches though none went anywhere.
- I decided to up my style by making an order from a brand that’s known to have good fits for t-shirts, especially around the arms. Let’s see how it goes.
- I have great zeal for life.
Listened:
- Khan ST3 (5 mins)
I woke up having dealt with some less-than-ideal sleep, unfortunately. This time, I felt that I was also dealing with a slight sickness, based on the irritation I felt in my throat. I have a feeling the affected sleep I’ve been having recently slightly weakened my immune system. It’s why I went out and bought some medicine to take when needed.
It was another day of working from home, and a fairly lax one at that, too. I did get a fair amount done, just enough to be happy with my progress yet still managed some stuff on the side. My social media page continues to grow and today I am newly connected with a community of people who run similar types of pages and live in the area. I can imagine meeting these people and perhaps collaborating with them in the near future.
Later in the day, I got a fair amount of personal errands done. I didn’t go outside for anything today because I’ve been tired and need to recover from the trip. On a tangent, I recognize that Mercury Retrograde ended yesterday. Now I wonder what is to change and what is to start picking up with greater intensity in my life…
I’m taking a closer look at my diet again in light of what I’m doing with EF and what’s been going on with my sleep. I’m thinking that dinners should be lighter while lunches are okay to be heavier, and I also need to be more strict about my eating window so as to not eat late and affect my sleep. There’s also of course the specific things I choose to eat. I had a fast food dinner and while it was cheap and helped me get the protein I needed for the day, I questioned whether it was the right choice. Sure it’s highly affordable, but I’ve got money. A recent review of my paychecks and their breakdowns reminded me that I can afford more premium, more healthy stuff without breaking the bank. That’s what all the stuff I’ve done for my career has led me to.
I intend to start cooking in the near future—this is a fairly big change because so far I’ve been one to eat outside all the time. It’s too easy, given how the place I work at offers heavily discounted food and how often I plan to do social stuff this year, along with how much I make. Seems my job and its earnings serve as a double-edged sword with regard to cooking, but I’m starting to generate that internal motivation. What motivates me is that I’d be learning a new skill (one I should already know by now) and that I’d be able to eventually customize meals to tailor to my fitness goals.
Listened:
- Libertine (15 mins)
- EB (5 mins)
- EF ST4 (5 mins)
Since today marks 21 days of Stack 1, we’re at the point where I do a washout. The recommended washout time is 5 days. However, I’m going to make it 6 days instead. This is because the event I’m hosting at my place is happening next Saturday (a week from now) and I’d like a strong start to part 2 of Stack 1 (Stack 1b) where I do the following run:
- Libertine
- Khan
- EB
Perfect on a day when I expect quite a few girls going to my place .
Today’s a relatively quiet day and I’ve kept it that way intentionally. Just want to do errands and also some reflection on my recent trip. At the same time though…it annoys me that people don’t reach out to me to plan or do hangouts or what have you. I get that I’ve taken on a role as leader of my own life, however, I would like others to help me out here! I’m reviewing the manifestation-journal entry that I wrote on this topic.
Anyway, here let’s do the reflection on my recent trip (during which I wasn’t doing any journal entries).
Recent Trip Reflection
This trip occurred over the period of four days and I did a long drive down to a different part of my state. I was highly motivated to hang out with a special friend of mine, Adam. I’ve actually mentioned Adam before in my previous journal, when he gave me a very emotionally-moving speech that in retrospect marked a significant event of that year. No kidding—the trip was just about us hanging out and also talking about some real shit. I did my intensive trip to this city back in November, so I didn’t feel like I needed to explore a lot during that weekend.
I honestly never thought I’d get to the day where I’d have a friend so inspiring, so significant that I’d be willing to travel all the way across the state just to meet up with them. I certainly know I would not be okay with a long-distance relationship where I’d do that, but now to do that for a friend seemed crazy (I still hold my opinion about the former thing, there are different factors involved.) Honestly, there’s a longtime friend of mine who lives closer than Adam—still several hours away though—and is someone I’ve known for much longer whom I have not done such a visit. It’s a reflection of how impactful Adam has been on my life even though I feel we did not reach such impactful moments until the middle of last year. It just goes to show that I have changed as a person and I have been developing more meaningful connections even in recent times.
I’m not sure I can say this trip is as impactful as the November trip, but that’s fine as I don’t expect all trips to be life-changing. It’s more important that I enjoyed it. With that being said, let’s discuss some more changes here.
I basically decided I won’t continue further conversations with those girls whom I connected with in this city during my last visit in November. One of them turned down a meetup during this trip (flip-flopped on the idea), none were open to phone or video calls before/during/after the trip and overall they just had a weak interest. I don’t find it valuable to be messaging them online for whatever. Sure they can like my content, and I’ll leave it at that. So I consider that thread done for now…yet I will say that I’ve shut the door, but not locked it. I haven’t blocked them outright, but I won’t do anything else either. I’ve thought little about them since coming back home.
I also got more advice regarding Alice from my buddy Adam which basically reinforced my current plan of action which revolves around getting to know her friends more rather than pursuing her directly. When this many people, especially people who I look up to and respect tell me the same thing, it’s a sign that it’s what I gotta do. Time will tell what happens. I honestly was thinking of reaching out to hang out with Alice today, although she’s one of the people coming over to my place for that event next week. Truth be told, I’m not sure what I’d talk about with her in today’s hypothetical meetup, besides maybe doing some mild flirting. That also does carry some risk, I suppose.
On a related note, I got a better understanding of where Adam is at with respect to dating and relationships since things have changed over the past few months. It turns out we have a few surprising similarities and differences in this regard. I’m very thankful that Adam is a person who gives me such great advice yet is not so judgemental as to disregard me for some of those key differences (granted, I did not share all of my differences). He imparted upon me a piece of wisdom regarding mentorship which is that in mentorship I don’t want to impose my own opinions on them. This I can see especially applicable for life mentorship (maybe as applicable for career mentorship). Yet, it still holds true that Adam is not in a rush himself. This is even given the fact that he’s going to be moving to a rather big city in the near future, where this particular city has a reputation for being good for dating.
He just rests in the knowledge that there will be opportunities within this city, as part of his adventure, where he will be meeting people.
Only typing this out right now do I see how important that attitude is. I can apply that given how Goddard talks about resting in the knowing that the wish is fulfilled, it is done, and creation is finished. Combining this with idea that I am amongst the acres of diamonds right now, Mightn’t I also spend more time resting in the knowing that such opportunities are coming to me right now, instead of worrying about how I should move things along (or whether I need to make things happen right now, such as what I was thinking about involving Alice)?
My manifestation power is so high right now, the only limitation that comes up is my not giving myself permission to have what I want.
And look, I met one of Adam’s friends during the trip where his friend is quite a few years older, yet is not in a relationship and doing fine. I shouldn’t worry so much. It only irks me when there are people—like the relatives I visited during the trip—who ask me such questions as when I’m going to get married. “At the right time” is the only valid answer. Ultimately, nobody can force me to do anything. I wouldn’t even accept arranged marriages. Either I’m in a fulfilling relationship of my own choice, or I am not (and I will be happy either way). No forcing me not a box.
At the end of this trip, I did consider again the idea of moving to this city, even if for a year at most. I’d have an adventure, I’d explore and have fun. But I’m not waiting for that day. I’m where I am right now and I intend to make the most of my time here. That’s why I continue to make my days eventful, and try to plan more events. Although, since coming back I’ve been taking it a little easier and not going to as many times. I know it’s partially due to being tired, and I also know it’s because I’ve wanted to have a more introspective look at my journey so far. Being around people all the time doesn’t easily foster such thoughts.
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I wonder if I am feeling recon, because I have quite a bit of anger and upsetness. I do not want to talk to people, yet it feels unsettling being here by myself.
It is a great thing that I will not be listening to subs for the next 6 days.
Rest Day. First of many, considering this is the first day of the washout.
I feel better compared to yesterday. Getting enough sleep helped a lot. I took it fairly easy today, as I worked on personal errands throughout the day. Funny enough, I encountered another person I know in real life on the apps. This individual isn’t someone I’ve actually considered before however, I don’t even talk to them much in real life.
So the event I and my roommate are planning for this coming weekend is shaping up in terms of its attendance. We’ve reached our attendance minimum and at least 50% of the attendees are girls—nice! However, a good portion of them are in relationships… 
. I wasn’t planning on inviting all single women, I felt that the others could help pad the numbers (use the “pre-selection” effect). But if a majority of them are in relationships…? Well, I technically am going to accomplish a proper gender-ratio event, but I am not exactly sure what the point is there. Because it is true, I am interested in meeting more single women who I could potentially be in a relationship with. I guess maybe these people, even if they are in a relationship already, could be introducing me to other people still.
There’s a part of me that’s a little frustrated, with such thoughts as:
- I wish I had my relationship already!
- Where are the single girls at?
- Why don’t more people introduce me to their friends and other people of interest?
I don’t want to have to become the type of person who steals other people’s girls. I’m sure that is possible; Given the kinds of subs, I’m running it’s inevitable that girls who are in relationships with other people are going to start taking an interest in me. But is that really what I need to do? A rather prominent forum member here once stated that the onus of maintaining the fidelity of relationships rests solely on the main people in that relationship and not on those outside of it. Yet even still… Man, I know these kinds of ideas are coming from a scarcity mindset right now, a mindset that needs to be eradicated.
Damn, I know I could go on and on about this. About how I should have done X, Y and Z in the past, or how this problem is so pervasive, whatever. But focusing on the lack in this way simply doesn’t push me forward.
Still man, I’m just tired right now. This must be among the first time I’m getting to this state (again) within the year. This makes me curious about what else is going to come up during the subliminal washout. How much is my internal chatter going to change? Will I receive a bunch of new manifestations?
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I’m almost certain I’m dealing with recon and other stuff as a result of the subs.
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Please stop running the subliminals for a few days. The recon will clear soon.
Could you tell me what subliminals you are currently running?
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Hi @Lion, stack 1 has featured:
- EB
- EF ST4
- Khan ST3
- Libertine (Weekly run)
I last ran subs on Saturday, which featured the following playlist. Since then, I have been on a washout that’s expected to go until this coming Saturday (so 6 days of no subs).
At this very moment I am listening to 888Hz | Abundant Aura, Remove All Negative Energy Blocks | Angelic Healing Music | NĀDA : DAY 23 - YouTube. I wonder if these kind of audios help at all—anyways it’s been fun listening to all of the NADA tracks as the month has progressed.
What is behind this pain that was irritating me throughout the day? It has to do with the stuff that I talked about in my last entry.. I had a long chat with my good friend Adam about this and I do feel better about it, but here are the key points that were upsetting me:
- The event has an odd mix of girls who are in relationships => It’s not all bad for this first event, and I’m going to talk to my roommate about event planning for the future and making it clear that meeting more single women is a distinct objective to achieve through the events in addition to having fun and enjoying the game nights for what they are.
- Additionally, I already know one person I intend to invite to for only this event. Sam who’s coming from the city is attending but she’s in a relationship and isn’t even bringing any of her friends. This latter part irks me more than the former. Yea, it’s great she’s willing to drive down all the way from the city by herself to hang out with me but I’m looking to expand my social circle. Unless I wanted to become “Mr. Steal Your Girl” (I don’t) I kinda wonder, what am I doing here? (…padding the numbers of course)
- I think there can be utility in some contexts, like if I were close enough to these (in-a-relationship) people to ask them if they know any single women I should meet . That’s not a case that crossed my mind until my convo with Adam, who marked on one such case for himself!
- I want more people who actually understand me (or make me feel understood), who have my back during my tougher times. I did not like how the first day of these feelings went, because not only did I not feel like talking to anyone but nobody reached out to me. Feels like i have to do everything myself. Takeaways are below.
- Invest more in those friendships with people I want to be closer to. Do more trips with said people, and have more experiences.
- Try turning more acquaintances into closer friends. Be very careful of those who are in it for the goodies. For example, as part of my social media thing I started getting more free stuff, and some have tagged along to enjoy it—such as Sam. I did notice a change in Sam at that event, however I didn’t consider that maybe she’s liking hanging out with me for the free stuff more than anything else and not anything else (I mean look, she’s in a relationship, is going to drive down all the way from the city and currently hasn’t invited a +1—though I may try to change the last part). There might be a fair amount of people like this in the future especially as I get more success in my endeavors.
- I want to be liked for who I am. I want to be understood, to feel supported.
- Additionally, this current episode is revealing to me the limits of my connection to my roommate who I’d say I’m pretty close to. A “best friend” I’d say, though I am not happy to say that right now. He and I are on slightly different focuses currently so I am seeing that there are some pretty big limitations to the way he gets me. Completely floundering on recognizing my rut or responding to it accordingly…I’m not going to forget that. There’s only two people that weekend who helped a little bit, and he wasn’t among them. I want more close friends. Not every close friend will understand every part of me.
- This makes me want to very aggressively develop more deeper connections and also do trips with other people. Honestly, I’m thinking of seeing whether I can get a girl to join me on my next trip that’s coming up .
- This makes me want to very aggressively develop more deeper connections and also do trips with other people. Honestly, I’m thinking of seeing whether I can get a girl to join me on my next trip that’s coming up
That a girl I was trying to meet up with (met her at an event last month) had to cancel plans just feels like a footnote in the face of all this I struggle with internally.