Listened:
Yes three subs today, but UpX is my first listen in two weeks. Did it so I can focus more on work. The other two are part of the usual run. Khan Black ST2 is expected to start in May.
I must say, I continue to enjoy my runs of Daredevil. There’s clearly a difference in my socialization before and after I run it, even on a given day.
Time for another candid post.
Just now, I felt this: I honestly miss my hometown. And It’s only been a few days since I’ve arrived here. I didn’t want to think or feel this, but in those final days back there I was feeling it, too. Especially as I was doing my final hangouts.
There’s this one friend who it was especially frustrating with, because I had met them just last year. It was only after I revealed to them back in December that I’m leaving the area that we made plans to hang out much more. Of course, this year has had so many disruptions that the majority of our hangouts happened in the last few months! I wondered why it has to be like that. It does not help that as I came to know them better I learned we have a lot of things in common. I got the sense that they were like an older sibling, something I’ve rarely thought of anyone. Not only that, it felt like I was supposed to meet them a few years ago. Perhaps that would’ve been the case were the pandemic not to have gotten in the way. The way the friendship developed, a lot of hangouts had occurred between March and April. It was on the uptrend phase, the period that in my other friendships (whose development patterns I have noticed) I would consider to be the phase of rapid development. The problem here is that it was in that phase, and then it had to suddenly get cut off because of my move. They were also gone during my phase of “final hangouts” since they went off on a trip of their own (back since).
To me, what I got was a preview of a much larger friendship that I don’t know will ever happen. While I do not intend to stay in this new place I’ve moved to for life—I’m just here because it fits the current phase and goals I have—I also don’t intend to move back to the old region, simply because that’s not what will push me forward the right way in life. I’ll be going back to visit my parents from time to time and in fact, I’m doing that in a week. It’s quite a bit sooner than I had planned, but a wedding is bringing me back to the area. I first wished to stay only though that wedding weekend , but should I now stay longer, through the week?! My work would allow it since it has an office there, so that’s not the issue. But to enjoy that weekend, spend mother’s day with family and potentially meet up with the aforementioned friend as well as a few others?
I can’t believe I’m thinking like this. I’m looking to get acquainted in the new place and all this point I was in great consternation at the fact that the wedding was going to make me come back to the Bay so soon after moving. Though I’ve already resigned myself to the notion that this is going to be a very work-focused one, not one for much fun. There’s just too much going on there that I’ve been dealing with (albeit a bit slowly at times) while with all these big changes in my life. Adventuring, meeting new friends and dating—the big things that motivated me to move out—is simply going to have to wait until June.
The funny thing about my current circumstance is that I’m here at my new place by myself not because I chose to work from home or because I’d be bored outside with no friends to hang out with, it’s because I’m sick.
I wonder if some of these thoughts are from running Daredevil on a day when I’m staying all day at home.