Does Pbbbbtttt translate? 
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Seriously, your words would be true if I went on, playing loop after loop “because my subconscious likes it”.
I’ll be wary. Recon is subtle and sneaky.
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I’m noticing my fears this morning at work. Like I depended on them, if that makes any sense
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Day 3
2 loops–one during and after lunch, the other when home from work
Today I realized some old fears I’ve lived by. I was almost late leaving for work, and I thought about it while driving there. Why did I always get there earlier in years past?
Answer: fear of not being liked by the bosses.
But I noticed, hesitantly actually, that I was quickly losing this long-held fear. I imagined hopefully what it would be like to not live in daily fear–waking up on time, being ready, etc. I’m not really trying to do this; it’s just happening. It actually had me “just imagine” making a living without this day-to-day stress. EOG comes to mind in this thought. Freedom.
And otherwise, I found myself trying to hang on to old norms throughout the day. Like my mind’s saying “THIS IS HOW WE STAY ALIVE!” And it all revolved around me holding onto a tight belly and mindset to “survive”. It seems to be fighting hard.
But one thing popped up which said I’m going in the right direction. About midday, I felt a sadness inside. I’ve had this same feeling on a competitor’s subs, but never with SC subs. It was that feeling that…I’m losing the battle to remain the same, to not change. The sadness, lasting less than 5 minutes, said DR is pushing through.
And a bonus for me: it’s almost 8pm here now. I really resisted writing when I got home from work since my motivation was nothing more than gaining people’s approval. I feel like I’m winning over some daily fears, but I didn’t really do this. DR did.
The DR sales page also said it could be my worst enemy. I’ll check it out so I’m aware of what to expect.
Edit: Taken from the sales page, referring to the whole package: “it will be your worst enemy, your closest friend, your wisest advisor, and one of the most powerful tools that you will be able to use again and again throughout your life, whenever you need another phase of profoundly intense self-discovery.”
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Yeah, what usually happens here is this (from the perspective of your subconscious):
“Wow, this crazy person screaming affirmations at me is great! Yes, I should let go of all of my limiting beliefs. Yes, I should allow myself to live a life free of burdens – both mentally and physically! More! MORE, MOAR!!! … Wait, you want me to do WHAT? Dissolve my fears? That’s easier said than done- wait, you want me to do WHAT??? Not get angry the next time someone disses me? But I mean-but you see-I mean–SCREW THIS, STOP LISTENING!!!”
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Lol, I was very curious reading this one. Have you heard of mind bending language loops?
Not sure if you were asking me, but no.
Is that Igor or someone else?
Day 4
No subs today
Yeah, it sounds like our sc can be really thrown for a loop while listening to completely life-changing subliminals. Knowing this is making my plans to minimize recon more concrete.
- No more than 2 loops a day. Sticking to a normal routine of 2 loops a day may help me survive better. My biggest concern is being “tricked” by it. It’s happened a couple of times with me on SC subs.
- I began loops Wednesday, but I’m starting my rest days today, Saturday. My experience on weekends in the past with nothing but time on my hands has been “I’ll listen to (Ascension, Mogul, Emperor, etc) since I’m bored”. I end up feeling like I had no rest come Sunday evening, and recon hits.
- On the DR sales page, you spoke of reconciliation clearly. I read it last night.
“If you’ve never used any Subliminal Club subliminal, please start from a title such as Ascension followed by a harder title like Emperor. There will be reconciliation, but there also will be untold greatness waiting for you with Dragon Reborn – it will be your worst enemy, your closest friend, your wisest advisor, and one of the most powerful tools that you will be able to use again and again throughout your life, whenever you need another phase of profoundly intense self-discovery.”
- Just thought of this since I read it yesterday: I’ve never done a washout. From what I read, there are certain signs that may signal a washout would be beneficial. How often do you, or have you done a washout? I assumed after long periods of time, but I didn’t hear of that in what I read.
You did hear of it. Last month. It was your thread. 
Of course, we’d like Saint to expand on it. 
Thanks Simon.
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memory is more a rapidly shifting jigsaw puzzle then a recording of a video of events lol
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this is literally the dialogue of my conscious mind at times, Merger of the Worlds must be working 
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Yeah. Brainfart!
have you noticed any physical effects/ healing from Dragon Reborn as of yet?
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Nothing that I’ve noticed @Azriel But I’ve also been fairly healthy and active in keeping body wear to a minimum through alternative treatments
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very cool, thanks for the info
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Day 5
Second rest day
Reconciliation has been trying to surface, and I’m noticing it. I got an email last night from a company who I bought meditation tracks from months back, I realized that might help, and I’m listening to a track now. It’s calming.
It feels brand new feeling my tense feelings and not being so reactive. I’ve noticed my mind feeling slightly pressured, and even my conscious thoughts move to a low grade “we’ve gotta make this better soon.” Low-grade reconciliation. But the meditation track is allowing me to feel more in control.
I feel the need to get out today. If DR is all about me letting go of fears and old mental (and physical) hideouts, then getting out may help. Taking some action. That bookstore, then boardwalk, is on my mind.
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I don’t have an explanation for this, but I was over reading @Michel’s journal, and I read this:
I actually remembered being at school in 7th grade. Lots of changes, lots of dreaming during that time. Most of it was about surfing and exploring.
The difference just showed up in my thinking.
Without fear: exploring, hoping, dreaming. I am free and unencumbered. I step out. I am free to explore.
With fear: Feeling unable to move physically or emotionally, as Mom was held by fear. And I was loyal to her. Let it be clearly stated that while remembering this I felt that subtle twinge of resentment. Mom lived in a very small world emotionally, and she never even looked for better ways to live. She lived without hope day to day (even writing this brings up some self-doubt and guilt). But at 11 years old, she was my Mom, the only one I turned to for feminine love.
I’ve spent a lot of time, like ALL my life, trying to discount and dismiss my need of her love. I share that since it’s connected to why I don’t date, nor have ever really dated. (I met my former wife at church). Women’s natural feminity reminds me of my unmet needs from Mom. Mixed feelings surface, but ultimately fear comes up, since I don’t want to mix the 2 realities. Holding eye contact with women is challenging due to that–again, it’s a world of difference between “without fear” and “with fear”.
Facing this fear seems to be the ONLY solution. (Part of me re-read that and hopes some of this shit will disappear on DR)
I’m mentally masturbating now, so I’m getting up. Gotta do laundry…bookstore (???)…
I will be nice to myself
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I get curious as well about how things could have been or how I potentially could have handled something differently looking back but that can rapidly become a source of resentment and regret which similar to feelings of envy and jealousy is literally a huge waste of time and energy. I would think a part of healing and maturing mentally and emotionally is recognizing this
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