7 days actually @AMASH . Last Monday, Dec. 17, was when I started these subliminals. I began this journal on the 18th.
And Merry Christmas to you and yours 
3 Likes
It’s Christmas Eve, and I am alone right now. I’ve considered going to an AA Alcathon, which is done every Christmas for anybody who wants to come. It’s back to back meetings for 24 hours, and I’ve gone before, for just a few hours. I don’t even drink, but I really soak up some sober thinking. I enjoy men and women sharing their stories of recovery, and all the good (and bad) decisions they made along the way.
I’m writing since…none of the bad stuff which I had imagined about today ever happened. Like nada. Nothing at all. In reference to the Alcathon, I’ve been imagining bad shit mostly. Like I’d sell out again. Be anything for anybody. Probably not a damn negative thing will happen.
And today…was different. Very different, and I knew why. It’s funny how I tried to NOT play a role today, and 3 different men began conversations with me, which is unnormal. I wasn’t dependent on anyone, so maybe it showed, and shined. I was doing my job on the workyard, and at different times, they all sought me out. What really caught my attention was the last guy. He said “you’re like a new man now.” I was hired 4 months ago, and he was referencing this. But he saw something in me and really made me feel good. Like something is shining in me. Shining out. I thought the aura inside Ascension may be in high gear. I was very encouraged by this.
And today I was very tired. Just wanted to note that. Must be processing a lot.
4 Likes
Congratulations on the progress, “you’re like a new man now” 
About feeling tired, how is your sleep these days?
1 Like
I got only 6 hours last night. I’ve been restless, like I’ll go to bed knowing I need sleep, but not really be tired. I usually get 6-8 hours.
Like part of me is hanging onto the listening part. I’ve even felt more energy lately during the day, but it’s from within, and not caffeine.
1 Like
And just to make sure, @subliminalguy , are you listening while you sleep?
I know the feeling, so tell me if I am describing it correctly: it’s like you feel “hungry for sleep” but not tired enough to actually sleep more. So you go through the day with enough energy to do what you need, but not as much as if you’ve slept 8 hours?
3 Likes
Yes, @AMASH, I always sleep with it running. And your description about needing sleep was spot on.
2 Likes
I tried many things to fix this, because it’s not really the optimal state of performance. And I also don’t want to not listen at all during sleep.
So I found that creating a subliminal playlist that lasts 2-3 hours, then stops and I get uninterrupted sleep lets me wake up refreshed and get the full 8 hours of sleep. If I let the subliminals play more than 2-3 hours, or all night, I tend to wake up almost exactly after 6 hours, then be in the needing sleep state.
If it bothers you in any way, test this, and let us know your experience with it
2 Likes
add a treatment modality (Sedona/Release Techniqe, Quantum Light Breath, Yuen Method, The Work, CBT,REBT, MC2 method, Honopopopo, EMDR, PSTEC, Acces conscioussness, and/or meditation) + visit your Psychologist / GP.
You sound so angry at the world, my advice would be to focus on your innerstate first i can highly recommend the Sedona/Release Technique to you to let go off all that energy.
The books above are very good too.
- No More Mr Nice Guy
- The Rational Male
- The Superior Male
- 12 Rules of Life / Personal Author programme - Jordan Peterson
- Meditations - Marcus Aurelius
- Power of Now
- Metawhore - Hypnotica
- Seduction wise (Sleazy Stories / Alabaster Girl / Hope they serve beer in hell).
- Mindset (Jocko Willink, Grat Cordone, PJ eby, etc)
Just a few products, if you want more PM me and I give you a full list. I highly recommend Sedona and Release Technique though.
7 Likes
Actually @Liquidfire, being honest, I’ve thought anger was better than stuffing all emotion, which I’ve tried many, many times. I’m writing with some anxiousness, since I considered spitting it at you. I’ve mostly had dominating people suggest I “tone down”. But I hurt myself when I hurt others. I won’t spit anything at you. I’ll just share my response.
I have been more angry lately. Lately refers to since 12/17/18, when I began these subliminals. Ascension is pointing at thoughts and feelings I’ve ignored and “forgot”, over and over again. I’d see them from afar, and run away most times. And now I’m in a work environment that’s all men, and competition runs high in some. The one I’ve been physically and socially closest to at work…scares me inside. Like he’d like total dominance. He acts like my brother, who I was closest to him growing up.
I stopped myself. Something I heard years back is “if you spot it, you got it”. All anger is not good. And I see others anger since…I have a lot myself when around dominating individuals. For my brother was and is all about what he wants. And Ascension has focused me all on me. He and I will clash.
A strong reason I purchased Rebirth was for my relationships. Having read lots of forum journals for guys starting alpha subliminals in another forum, I feared damaging relationships irreparably. I feared my own anger. My entire life I’ve played submissive to dominant males—and I’m seeing now I’m still playing “younger brother” around adult males, even here on this board. I was always seeking permission so I wouldn’t mess up something. But I have let one go too far. I am mad since I allowed Ghetto Guy to have his way. My anger is from me not standing up for myself. Even my ex-wife said years back that she never felt protected by me. I didn’t. Since she was much more alpha than me, I let her reign. Anytime I stood up to her, pure bitch came out. I had sidelined that responsibility out of fear and not knowing how.
I do know anger isn’t forever. I’ve got just over a week on these subs, so I’m not leveled out yet. One day at a time.
Regarding stress relief, I was successful using EFT, and I had a breakthrough using the Healing Code. Those alternative methods work when I’ve persisted through my doubt and questionings. I had also done EMDR with several therapists, and my subscription at virtualemdr.com for doing EMDR at home just ran out 2 days ago. It repositions my thought process well, and I did use it this week.
Lastly, why do I enjoy being angry vs. doing stress relief? I think I feel successful protecting myself, so it makes me want to continue it. It feels like I finally have some level of self defense.
5 Likes
You pointing to my anger, @Liquidfire, is making me see something. I had this one sponsor in recovery, and he scared me since I was so unconfrontational. But I chose him since he was very direct, not a bullshitter at all, and he said something in a meeting one day which has stuck with me. This was maybe 13 years back. He said:
“Anger is not a primary emotion. It is secondary. All anger comes from 2 places: fear, or pain.”
I’m thinking about what you said, and simultaneously holding off from getting up and preparing for my day. I see myself fronting a slight anger when going out…and it’s because I’m scared. I used to live in this “make everybody happy with me” world, and my confidence bottomed when I couldn’t do that, which was quite often.
I’ve also felt fear of showing my anger–which may have people not like me.
I just saw this… pain is the other source of anger. My trader is female, and I’m thinking of disappointing her too, when my mother and I had this dynamic in our relationship. I lived with shame, thinking I was disappointing my mother, who was always an active drinker, living in self pity and martyrdom constantly. I did blame myself.
And this comes into every female interaction I have. Every single one. It hurt realizing I’d “failed” again and again with my mother, and I carry this pain–and fear of that pain–within myself.
Yes, I’ve felt anger. For I’ve been scared. Even today, I’ve not gone to a 24 hour recovery meeting–for that same reason. I’ve been fearing the pain of failing again. I began years back, hoping (subconsciously) to save someone in the meetings. I forgot I was there for me. This is what is running in my head. And lately, tears have been the easiest and quickest stress relief. I cried some yesterday while at work, just noticing my thoughts.
And I apologize for being so defensive in my first reply to you. My attitude was off. I’ve been thinking of your message. Thank you for bringing this up.
Tears came after admitting all this too.
5 Likes
It is okay man. I don’t feel angry at you just love.
I am going to poke the bear a bit, but I do this out of love because I can see how entrapped you are in the stories you tell yourself. You place your happiness on external factors, instead of being an internally driven man. This means that ‘rock’ woman talk about. You percieve yourself as a failure, how will others percieve you? If you are angry at yourself, what is the vibe you give off. Will a woman enjoy being around you, will any person? I mean you don’t like being around yourself currently.
Then why do you keep repeating these stories from the past to yourself. It is okay to be scared, we all are. But if you don’t statisfy yourself first, and love yourself, be a happy though human being (Albert Ellis). You can’t be there for others, you just can’t. And if you can’t you percieve failure again and again.
Can you see how you keep your own loop alive?
Now, subliminals will help and they surely have seeing your journal. But you have a lot of repressed emotion, you do not feel light but heavy. You carry this emotional bag around everything you do.
You have so much resistance to each next moment it’s painfull to read. Expressing is a bit healthier than surpressing, but learning to let go is the best method I have ever found… and you get better at it them ore you do it, and use it.
Ask yourself the following questions (This is from The Work and Sedona Method).
Basics of Sedona(you can find this online).
[quote] Choosing to Let Go
Make yourself comfortable and focus inwardly. Your eyes may be open or closed.
Step 1: Focus on an issue that you would like to feel better about, and then allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling in this moment. This doesn’t have to be a strong feeling. In fact, you can even check on how you feel about this exercise and what you want to get from it. Just welcome the feeling and allow it to be as fully or as best you can.
This instruction may seem simplistic, but it needs to be. Most of us live in our thoughts, pictures, and stories about the past and the future, rather than being aware of how we actually feel in this moment. The only time that we can actually do anything about the way we feel (and, for that matter, about our businesses or our lives) is NOW. You don’t need to wait for a feeling to be strong before you let it go. In fact, if you are feeling numb, flat, blank, cut off, or empty inside, those are feelings that can be let go of just as easily as the more recognizable ones. Simply do the best you can. The more you work with this process, the easier it will be for you to identify what you are feeling.
Step 2: Ask yourself one of the following three questions:
- Could I let this feeling go?
- Could I allow this feeling to be here?
- Could I welcome this feeling?
These questions are merely asking you if it is possible to take this action. “Yes” or “no” are both acceptable answers. You will often let go even if you say “no.” As best you can, answer the question that you choose with a minimum of thought, staying away from second-guessing yourself or getting into an internal debate about the merits of that action or its consequences.
All the questions used in this process are deliberately simple. They are not important in and of themselves but are designed to point you to the experience of letting go, to the experience of stopping holding on. Go on to Step 3 no matter how you answered the first question.
Step 3: No matter which question you started with, ask yourself this simple question: Would I? In other words: Am I willing to let go?
Again, stay away from debate as best you can. Also remember that you are always doing this process for yourself—for the purpose of gaining your own freedom and clarity. It doesn’t matter whether the feeling is justified, long-standing, or right.
If the answer is “no,” or if you are not sure, ask yourself: “Would I rather have this feeling, or would I rather be free?”
Even if the answer is still “no,” go on to Step 4.
Step 4: Ask yourself this simpler question: When?
This is an invitation to just let it go NOW. You may find yourself easily letting go. Remember that letting go is a decision you can make any time you choose.
Step 5: Repeat the preceding four steps as often as needed until you feel free of that particular feeling.
You will probably find yourself letting go a little more on each step of the process. The results at first may be quite subtle. Very quickly, if you are persistent, the results will get more and more noticeable. You may find that you have layers of feelings about a particular topic. However, what you let go of is gone for good.[/quote]
Basics of The Work
[quote]You write( down your stressful thoughts, and then ask yourself the following four questions:
Question 1: Is it true? ...
Question 2: Can you absolutely know it's true? ...
Question 3: How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought? ...
Question 4: Who would you be without the thought? ...
Turn the thought around: (this means turning it around into an I statement)
3 Likes
@Liquidfire, you did poke the bear. I insist you not make me your pet project. Do your own journal, share you, and keep your focus on you. I’m not here to be someone else’s bitch.
I didn’t ask for it.
You didn’t ask me.
I don’t know anything about you.
I am here, growing day by day using these subliminals, for I want freedom. I may fight it, I’ve gone in circles at times, and I am seeing it. If your mission is to fix other people here, STOP. That helps NOONE. Mind yourself first, write your own journal, then come and share your experience. Insisting someone else change without a foundation of trust or shared experience…is toxic.
No thank you.
6 Likes
Ascension is working. Yesterday I took my mom out for dinner, and we had a young, cute waitress. I called her over to ask about our bill, as I didn’t have my own copy to keep. I had tipped her real good since we’d been there 2 hours, and there had been a waiting line this entire time.
The tip might have been the instigator, but she grabbed my shoulder and rubbed and kneaded it for 5 seconds or so while standing next to me. I credit the sub since I’ve read other alpha sub users being in work or social situations, and women giving random kino. I’ve never had this happen, so I mention it.
After departing from my mom, I went and dropped off some gifts for my niece and nephew which my mom had put together. I had no plans of seeing my sister, and I’ve not seen her in over a year. She is a constant bull in the china shop of life, and I’ve kept distance ever since I began emotional healing subs.
I was not owned by fear when I got there. I picked up quickly that nothing had changed in her, but some friends of hers dropped by shortly after I arrived, and I spent most of my time playing foosball with one teenager and 2 younger boys. I enjoyed that. I finally left only since I was tired.
With the adults there, I noticed I wasn’t afraid either. I’ve realized this week and last night I’ve been giving unusually strong handshakes, which is not my norm. I felt proud of this too.
Christmas was good this year
3 Likes
That sounds really cool, I think it might be partially due to the aura inside Ascension.
Did you use the Aura Stacking Module to amplify the Aura component, or are you focused now on Ascension + Rebirth?
Your progress is astounding. I know 2019 will be a year of true positive change for you @subliminalguy!
3 Likes
I dropped Aura X since it felt like overload the 2 days I was on it. I may put it in later, but it’s auxiliary presently.
The aura in Ascension seems to be getting louder, and I’ll credit that. I’m using only Ascension and Rebirth.
Thanks for the compliment
2 Likes
For me, Aura X was too overwhelming during the first 2-3 days, but then it became comfortable to use, just like Rebirth. It might be worth testing for a few days to see whether the effects subside or whether it’s really time for it yet.
About sleep, I have been testing something that is working quite nicely. I get about 7 hours of sleep this way, which is better than the barely 6 from before. It’s not as good as listening for 2-3 hours then letting the playlist stop, but I can get more time listening, so it is worth it.
This is what I have been doing: I let the subliminals play at 10% of the volume when I am sleeping. I can still feel the tiny vibrations in my ears, and get some dreams from time to time, but I can sleep much much more comfortably this way.
It might be worth testing until a sleep stack is released.
Maybe @Fire might release a Sleep Stacking Module. I know he has a module on deep sleep in Primal and Emperor, so extending it into a full Stacking Module won’t be too much of a hassle.
3 Likes
@Liquidfire your intentions to help are greatly appreciated. So please do not take the response from @subliminalguy the wrong way.
If you pay attention, you will notice that @subliminalguy has spent all his life delegating his decisions and his way of being to others, trying to please them, having different types of “older brothers” telling him what to do and hoping they will guide him.
And right now, @subliminalguy is looking for independence. To become his own man. To make his own decisions, whatever comes out of them, the important thing is it is him on his own who made them. So he is becoming more and more of the independent man he wants to be.
And when you give him advice, you unintentionally acted in the exact role he wants to be independent from. He wants to break free from people telling him what to do, and him feeling some “older brother” knows more about what should be done than he does. So it is his desire and drive for growth and independence that makes him set a boundary and not accept your advice. Even if your advice is helpful, if he accepts it, then he will be sliding back into the previous version of himself he doesn’t want to be, and he is working so hard to not be that person.
That is why, as good as your advice can be, what @subliminalguy is probably looking for is more support and encouragement. He has gone through so much co-depdendence, he needs to go through the phase of extreme independence before he can return to a healthy inter-dependence.
@subliminalguy your journey is inspiring. And we are always here go you. There will be hard times (change is not easy), but the results will be so sweet, they are worth the price.
5 Likes
I get what you are saying, I really do. You do not need to know me, to see if tis helps you or not.
We are here to help and encourage eachother, sometimes that means bumping heads(I have been in the selfhelp thingy since I was 15, i am 29 now). I have been in almost the exact same phase as @subliminalguy
I am trying to share what my experience was, perhaps I come across authorative? I meant it more from a frame ‘you can/should try this’, yet I am not telling him TO do it, I am offering him an alternative.
The fact he can reject it or accept it is HIS choice, it’s his development of independence. I do not want him to be a clone of me, I want him to get rid out of te pain he is so used to. As I have gotten out of too.
The biggest breakthrough for me was realizing my emotions are not real, nor are my memories, believes and everything my mind produces. I am merely giving him tools, to be independent(these tools help so much with emotional independence).
Like I said before, I had this exact same phase where I was super rebelious, but I realized that doesn’t work either… it’s an extreme reaction to the codependence. It’s like going to the other side of the swing completely. Now spending temporary time there, and learning who HE is(i.e who am I without being codependent, i.e independend --> interdependent; is ofcourse a vital process. It’s about developing boundaries, finding out your own likes, dislikes, what turns you on, gets you going, keeps you internally motivated etc etc). But at one point, you have to interact with the real world.
After that phase you realize, there’s a lot you can do on your own A freaking lot. But asking for help, building a healthy support network, and trusting others.
Now, that’s where my fucking real growth occured. I can’t do everything by myself, nor am I good at everything. Yet, accepting that has given me more ocnfidence than anything else.
And it all started with reframing and letting go.
But @subliminalguy I am here as your cheerleader, your motivator, your coach… I am your fan, just like I am a fan of everyone who is on this board, or generally involve active self-development.
I poke the bear because I see exactly where you are, and I was there. I am not your father, brother, or any authority figure. I am just a guy sharing what has helped me in all my phases.
Again, keep up the damn good work you are doing amazingly well, and don’t take my post as a personal attack, but as someone who lovingly watches you grow and develop in the man you are under all that crap
Because half of the trick of this journy is peeling away the onion layers and conditioning on TOP of who you are, when you are you.
3 Likes
I don’t think you got what subliminalguy was telling you (at all). Completely oblivious to what was said. You’re still insisting on the method to be used and using your own story as a justification for imposing ‘‘this will fix you’’ with the first comment (and the method itself). There’s no wonder he did not like your comment. If I had to guess, nor will he like this one.
You should’ve left at the comment you posted above previously, that is now deleted. It was a honorable way to end it. You were letting it go (no pun intended). But seems like you couldn’t.
3 Likes
Shrugs, maybe o maybe not. Maybe someone will read it. I have said what I needed to say and clarify myself. I do not like to not share stuff that has helped me.
I guess you read my post different than what my inent is to write it.
^^ the rest is up to time.