@lrw - Hmm so many things to unpack in the conversation here. Will do my best to be helpful to you since you are the customer here and not your boyfriend. Hopefully it will help him too.
Religion teaches a lot of wrong things but it has some things right. For example, it teaches men to lead and be dominant and for women to be submissive to their man and feminine towards all.
This is not to say that women shouldn’t be assertive. There are times when the situation calls for it but too much assertiveness makes the woman masculine and unattractive to men for relationships.
A beautiful woman whether masculine or feminine could be equally desirable for sex by men but a beautiful submissive and feminine woman is highly preferred by almost all men for a long term relationship.
Since the rise of the birth control pill, sexual revolution and feminism, a lot of things have been turned on its head. Women have become increasingly masculine due to encouraging them to be educated, work and earn money since child birth and rearing can now be postponed due to birth control and abortion. Career needs assertiveness. Unfortunately, the assertiveness is carried back home and the men have to face a masculine woman who he ends up not finding attractive due to the dominant nature of masculine women.
Men on the other hand are being vilified for their masculinity. Terms such as toxic masculinity, mansplaining, etc shows an irrational way of dealing with masculine traits. This is why a lot of men have become feminized because they think there is something inherently wrong with them. And that’s when such men become friendzoned by women and aren’t sexually attractive for either casual sex or long term relationships. A dominant and masculine man is preferred by all types of women. That’s decreasing by the day though. This is why women prefer bad boys since it is biological in women to find their masculinity attractive. Unfortunately, badboys who are both successful and non-abusive (alpha males) are rare and hence women end up getting a bad bargain there too.
All that is well and good but how to solve the issue?
Regarding the issues your man is facing, a lot of it is coming from a place of not being masculine and dominant. Because trust me, if he had his shit together, there would be no reason to complain. But your complaints of him are valid. His money situation is bad (debt sucks) and his all too pleasing nature is working against him. He needs to learn how to regain his masculinity and a stack of Godlike Masculinity + Emperor + WANTED (all in ZP too) would work wonders for him.
Unfortunately he is not taking a lot of initiative regarding subliminals either. You had to sit him down and read the sales page to him. A sign that he isn’t taking it seriously. Like you said, he is laidback. A quality that will not be helpful if one wants to be successful. Success requires aggression and drive. And a successful man is attractive to women for long term relationships. Which is why you rightly tried to push him towards it.
My personal advice to you lrw is to give him a deadline. As in, tell him that you will only put up with him for a while and if he changes (or at least show that he is working towards personal and financial success). If he doesn’t, you will move on. This is harsh, I know but there is only so much we can do for others to help them change and if that doesn’t happen, it is better to look for someone else.
If you are on the lookout for a successful man, look for masculinity, dominance and success. Along with a touch of softness once in a rare while.
The same way an attractive woman is feminine, submissive and beautiful. With a touch of assertiveness.
Hope this helps you, my friend. I debated on whether to comment on this discussion but I think you will find it useful.
