Khan ST4 - 01:30
GMX: Aimbot - 01:30
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So a KD of 0/0…? 
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I’m kicking butt man! 
Going through some recon. 
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Broke two longtime PB’s in Kovaak’s aim trainer.
dab
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An interesting NLE that caught my attention:
When I play an aim training scenario and try hard, I perform much worse, but when I just relax and just play the scenario without trying to get a PB I get very close to it or surpass it.
This has me thinking of the phrase: When you try hard, you die hard!
Also principles similar to “being vs doing” or “power vs force”.
Anyway, will be fun to see if I can let go in tonight’s The Finals session and see how it manifests.
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I had that same revelation the other day.
If Im just vibin, enjoying the game, results are insane. Imo thats true for everything, including sex, romance, money, etc.
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Awesome realization, also as a sidenote it explains why I play good when I’ve had a beer or smoked something little. You just stop caring, but then you become worse. 
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The same was true for my sexual performance in the past
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Khan Black ST1 - 01:00
Back to microloops as the recon has become too much. I’m running Khan ST4 as well for the first time.
I did extract my own nectar a couple of times. Not out of boredom but I just had insane drive the last weekend and couldn’t hold back dude. And since I was super aroused I’m thinking perhaps it was a good idea, as to not cause stagnation. Also walking around with half chubs all day is not something I was comfortable with, running around doing errands.
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Khan Black ST1 - 01:00
I’m still figuring out how to have more fun, letting go and just be. Controlling is a powerful add active mode of mind. It ain’t easy.
Relax, let go.
Khan ST4 & Aimbot - 01:30 each
I’m thinking that I’ll run each stage multiple times in Khan Black and I’m also thinking that after having run KB ST3 2-3 times I’ll run it a few times with Khan ST1 and ST2, or perhaps the whole of Khan. To use that extra energy for healing and also to do another run of Khan, to push it further or deeper.
Khan Black - 01:30
Working in having more fun, living more present and less in my head.
Been really tired lately yet can’t sleep.
I need to take up meditation again to clear the head.
Feeling sensations randomly throughout the day that feel really good. I’m thinking it’s from removing energetic blockages perhaps.
Also I’m really tempted to end Aimbot after two cycles and adding primal. We’ll see…
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Slept for like 12 hours and still woke up tired. Maybe it’s some sleep debt, or something else 🤷
I’m going to stop streaming and start working on other strategies to gain viewers from other platforms and networking. Old advice, but I never listen the first 100 times.
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Khan ST4 and GMX: A for 01:30 each.
Stop The Derping
Try to accept or enjoy every moment and situation. Life is too short for not trying to squeeze the juices out of it.
These are choices that can be done right now. In this moment, in this present moment, now.
Not “I’ll be happy and be myself in the future.”
Or once I heal or achieve XYZ. Nope.
It’s a choice. A switch. Now.
It takes time to take you away from who you are. It takes no time to be who you are in this present moment.
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Maybe khan and khan black is a bit too much for the sexual energy to control?
I do notice I get urges for porn whenever a sun heals something deep. Hunting dopamine.
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It’s probably a lot. But I do not mind. Last 2 days I started meditation again and I feel much better.
But the PMO, I’m hornier than ever. perhaps I am going through some deep healing, which could explain.
I’m also thinking as I get momentum with meditation and energetic work then this energy will be redirected better. We’ll see.
Dopamine thirst? Now that I think about it that has occurred alot lately.
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Tomorrow is last day of this cycle
Last day of this cycle, ran Khan Black ST1 for 15 minutes to end the cycle. Usually I only run microloops.
I was thinking of switching GMX: Aimbot with Primal next cycle, but no, I want to squeeze these even more. So next cycle we continue with Khan ST4, Khan Black ST1 and GMX: Aimbot.
Relax, enjoy wasting time.
Really, trying to control everything I end up shooting myself in the foot.
If you try hard, you die hard. It’s spiritual.
Set intentions. Meditate. Let go. Relax.
Washout begins
Some thoughts:
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Life is now. You are you now.
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I feel like my thoughts and emotions have slowed down that I catch myself thinking outrageous things and just accepting them as facts when they are just limiting beliefs. Perhaps it’s not that they have slowed down but my impulse control and reaction have gotten better.
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I enjoy the sensations in the body, especially the bubbly euphoric ones, just soaking in them when they appear. Feeling good more often.
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Habitual behaviours are just there because it’sa habit, been noticing and being aware of how I operate in different situations. Specially notice how much I engage in self-deprecation and self-attack. Awareness is first step.
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I feel cooler.
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