Story Of Jack | Khan & stuff

[KingEsh]

Hello, starting another generic journal

Currently running:

• Khan ST1 - Total Breakdown
• Genesis
• Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer

Today: Subliminal rest day.

Very heavy stack, but I’m almost done. Then I’m planning to run Khan ST2 - Total Reprogramming, Revelation Of Mind and Revelation Of Spirit.

I’m running Khan for social, status, dominance and personal power. I was working on a foundation with Genesis, then planned to run Ascension, Mogul etc, but I decided to go to the deep badboy for this, Khan Multistage. Just commit to the Khan!

I’m planning to run RoS and RoM as well, as I’m currently on parental leave and engaged in energetic and spiritual programs.

• Today is rest day

• Nuevo Rich looks dope. Will be running that at some point. Big fan of the unfolding, in any shape or form. And God knows I have wealth/value ceilings.

• Spent most of the day parenting and going on errands. Why do kids break the TV remotes? Why are remotes so fragile? Is this a business idea? Phone covers but for remotes? I swear it’s a million dollar business idea. Nuevo pre-manifestation? If you steal it, send me a thank you check. I’ll be satisfied if you send it to SC and make sure I get any release for free for the upcoming 3 years.

• Did listen/watch a talk by Eckhart Tolle. Love the guy. My favourite “spiritual guru” (another one I like is Osho). Their talks just mellow me out and make me laugh like a child. Literally listen to them for the serious business of awakening, but end up coming out like I just exited a bar after having watched the greatest stand up comic live.

• Had some realisation of my perfectionism. I keep getting these. It’s like I never learn.

• Still neglecting sleep or waking up tired and grumpy. Perhaps it’s just being a parent, but I’ve had these issues for as long as I can remember.

• I started a new kombucha scoby hotel, this time it seems that I succeeded and a scoby is forming. Nice! Can’t wait for it to be done and then I’ll start a continuous kombucha brewing production.

• Ended the day with 1 hour of energetic work. God I love it. Slight tummy ache too throughout, yet I loved the practice. It’s all just sensations when you’re fully deep in the present.

[KingEsh]

Current stack: Khan ST1 - Total Breakdown, Genesis & Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer

Today: Genesis & Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer

• Woke up not as grumpy but still tired. Went full on auto pilot. I also made sure to do a body scan before getting out of bed. That helped to wake up the mind.

• I spend way too much time surfing the phone and this forum. I want to cut it back a bit. There is a healthy way to engage with things and there’s a unhealthy way.

• Last night while meditating I had a moment where I felt like I was just pure consciousness. For a second, felt like 5 min, I had zero awareness of me and all energy went into perceiving reality with all my senses. Weird.

• Purpose is not set in stone, don’t be to stubborn or too specific. It’s like a onion and with time every layer shed is another minor purpose and if you follow your authentic callings, you move deeper and closer to the “real purpose”. Of course the goal is not to reach the core, but shedding as many layers as possible and enjoying the journey doing what’s authentically you throughout life. Moving towards the core.

• Loaned The Alchemist from the local library, long time since I last read it. Book is about living your legendary life, purpose, spiritual, paying attention to the signs! It’s magical.

• Did a breathwork/energetic exercise to release pent up emotions/trauma. Also did a deep body scan meditation. Felt good as usual, no “awareness” moment like last night.

• Clarified some goals I have for next year. Dude, Stark and Khan are dope, reading the copy/objectives makes me wonder why I ever doubted Stark. Literally made everyone at work think I’m this smooth social butterfly. People thought I was joking when I said I was an introvert. Plus perfect for my goal of mastering tech and becoming a Tech Lead.

• Right now my mind is set on Stark/Khan after new year, but what will the third title be? I’ve been thinking of Index Gate, but it’s too early. If I’m obsessing about what subs to run in 2-3 months, that means I’m in recon. R E C O N. We can decide later surely.

• Current goals: Parental leave, being a great dad. Working through 2 energetic/spiritual programs and courses before new year while running RoS/RoM, and working myself through Khan. Read 4-5 spiritual books or books recommended by the courses im engaged in. Complete my Terraria Master melee playthrough series on YouTube.

[KingEsh]

Current stack: Khan ST1 - Total Breakdown, Genesis & Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer

Today: Subliminal rest day

• Grumpy morning and had some arguments with girlfriend about our responsibilities, was heated for a while but then we came to an understanding. I’m getting more assertive, and since I’m bad at it and bad at expressing when I’m not pleased with something or feel a boundary need to be set, I express it badly. But I’m learning to express anger, boundaries and emotions in general.

• In around a week 1.5 weeks I’ll start my washout and my kombucha scoby should be complete and ready to be drunk and a new production started. Good for your gut this stuff is.

• Fed the baby, dressed and ready to take out for an hour or so. Did some dishes, laundry and I drank a cup of coffee with oat milk. Had two snus so far, nicotine pouches you put under your lip.

• It’s a sunny autumn day here in Sweden. That’s nice, cold and warmth.

• Met this guy in the children’s park and we started talking about tech, we’re both in tech. He seemed adamant that I should work in one of the big banks here, where he just started. Big money, big benefits. That would include good deals on loans/mortgages. Very interesting, I realise now I should have asked if they had actually any positions open and how I would apply in such case. I’ll meet him again, he’s always in the park.

• Spent another 15 minutes just sitting on a bench in a wood area under the sun. It’s nice. Noticed I have really nice clothes in that moment.

• A girl walked by the bench and looked at me and did those awkward smiles like she wanted to say something but was nervous. Her whole face was facing me as she walked by, turned awkwardly into a smile. It wasn’t like this NOD hello smile faces, it was as if she knew me and wanted to say something. As if I was some celebrity.

• Bought some 70% chocolate bar. I always buy that the day after DR:LD should call it Chocolate Destroyer @SaintSovereign

• Thinking and obsessing about what subs to run again. Wanted Black is in the menu again, thinking about running Stark, Khan and WB in 2024

• I’ve also thought about running Nuevo Rich instead of Index Gate if the others subs I’ll be running haven’t gotten the NWE treatment. I’m thinking of running Stark, Khan, WB and Index Gate.

• Did breathwork/energetic-work. Feels good. Going to do a deep body awareness/scan later. Feeling the inner body as Tolle likes to call it. I also listened to another talk by him today, enjoyed it.

• Started reading the book The Alchemist. Very light read but profound.

• Cooked a Indian dish today, my confidence is showing in the kitchen where I take on more and more complex recipes and modify them after my intuition.

[KingEsh]

Current stack: Extended washout (2 weeks)
Today: Washout day 2

• Decided to go on a extended washout, 2 weeks, 14 days. Then I will start with a highly experimental stack. If it goes well, I’ll run it for as long as I possibly can. I might also share what and how. If not, I will just stick to Stark/Khan/Index Gate and probably be embarrassed that I tried that experimental stack.

• Slept poorly last night. Have had alot of anger lately, most likely recon and also realising certain things with healing (Total Breakdown + DR:LD).

• Did breathwork/energetic release.

• Was a bit colder today, I need my beanie and more hoodies!

• Did a full on self-care routine. It only takes 15 minutes, why don’t I do this more often? I need a spa day at least once a month.

• Didn’t find the guy in the park, well luckily we’re both on parental leave until December (he) so I’m sure I’ll find him in the park one if these days again.

• I felt like there is some chemistry between the ladies in the local store and be. I’m just cute I guess.

• There is a possibility I have to take a break from the forum and only write in my offline journal.

• I’ve decided experimental stack is not a good idea for me, never been well with these will do a stack rotation. But I do still need an extended washout.

• Realised I deal with recon by switching subs, which without proper management just creates this big loop of recon. And also recon is good, if it’s balanced as the mastermind series explain. But you perhaps want to enjoy the journey and not go through too much recon than necessary. Which is an effect from switching carelessly and running Khan ST1 and DR:LD. 🫠 this extended washout is needed. I will do better planning and better rotation process next time.

[KingEsh]

Current stack: Washout
Today: Washout day 3

• Wow, feel unstoppable today. This is why washout is important. I feel unstoppable. I feel great. I feel the growth after the latest cycle. I was just in heavy recon because I’m underslept today, yet feel powerful and in a good mood. The grumpy mornings were mainly recon and growth from running Total Breakdown and DR:LD.

• I’m planning then to only do a 5 day washout. In the next cycle run of Khan ST1 again, because 2 cycles is recommended. I will not meet the plan to run all Khan stages before new year with 2 cycles each at least. But so be it. But I will remove dr:ld and do a stack rotation. It’s too much DR:LD and Total Breakdown.

• So next cycle will be Khan ST1, Genesis and Nouveau R.I.C.H.

• I need to remember how recon manifest in my life. Obsessiveness with subs and the switching. I need to just let go and if I can’t, take an extra day off. Don’t decide on subs unless you’re in a day or two without recon. Aka, take the amount of Washout days needed for your and then when the fog of recon is cleared, decide.

[KingEsh]

Current stack: Washout
Today: Washout day 4

• Felt some recon today, damn, thought the processing was almost complete yesterday.

• My cousin works for a music related tech company and we were chilling in their studio yesterday making experimental music inspired by ambient/experimental Japanese music. It was nice.

• Today I’ve been thinking about running WB again next cycle. But Khan ST1 and Genesis and WB sounds sketchy. Perhaps I’ll remove Genesis. But Total Breakdown and Wanted Black still sounds sketchy as hell. Patience is key here. I don’t need to stress the journey man. Let’s not push the limit. TB is hard enough, adding WB will be painful. Let us get through the stages. So I’ll add RoM instead. Fits the current spiritual things in engaged with until new year.

[KingEsh]

Current stack: Khan ST1, Wanted Black, Revelation Of Mind
Today: Washout day 5

(Updated throughout the day with logs)

• So I’ve decided to run both WB and RoM. This with Khan Stages 1 - Total Breakdown will be interesting, as in, will I know what child birth is like for women? 🥹 Or as someone told me what’s it’s like, it’s like you peeing out a big walnut with shell and all. Ouch

• Clear autumn sky with some sun today, but it’s cold. Winter is coming! I need to get my winter clothes from the basement. I miss my beanie.

• I want to run RoM for my spiritual practice and meditation. Also the cognition will come in handy while I go through last two months if parental leave. We’ll see….

• I’m running through the Khan stages to build a base and foundation of dominance and assertiveness and status. Basically developing that side of me and daring to be more polarising

• I’m running WB, because I’m kinda vain too. I want do further develop my sociability and being the centre of attention. Also touches on being more polarising. I’m also very open, and I want to further develop the art or mystery. Being open has its benefits, but also it’s flaws. I do it because it actually dissipates tension. I want to improve my tension comfort. Sounds like a oxymoron, or a rapper album title.

• Need to take care of the recon that might come from this combo. Perhaps I’ll do two rest days in between runs if it gets to be too much.

T O T A L B R E A K D O W N
W A N T E D B L A C K
R E V E L A T I O N O F M I N D

MOMMY 🥹

[KingEsh]

I changed the stack again
I jumped to Khan ST2 and chose to stack Nouveau R.I.C.H instead.

See ya tomorrow!

[KingEsh]

Current stack: Khan ST2, Wanted Black, Nouveau R.I.C.H
Today: WB (00:30) & NRICH (1:30)

• Woke up in a zombie state, parents know.

• Light headache after listening to the subs, reminder that I need to drink water.

• Feel the motivation and urge to be efficient with my time, shortly after. A surge of power I guess. Clean and do chores instead of just do mindless waiting for baby schedule. Feels like “dopamine boost”, of course this is no way a medicinal proof, it’s just subjective feeling I have and compare it to my experience with stimulants.

• Put in skin care medicine for my dry skin. Drank water. Prepared everything I need for the baby outing today. Feel abundance of time and so much to do, but not stressed at all. More as in confidence in how much I can get done feeling like this, with all this time I have.

• Open pre-school - awesome. Started talking to people, no problems. Started notice my habit of tensing up my face occasionally. Started breath and letting that go. It’s an old social anxiety habit and we’re slowly going to replace it with relaxation and ease.

• Ideas already coming up. Was about this Mushroom expert that does excursions with people once a year, which I joined once. How about doing it the whole mushroom season, and include excursions, talks, an app where you can interact with other fans, and ask experts and others to identify mushrooms etc. it just felt like an untapped market. People love to go out with experts and find good spots, but also learn what to eat and what to avoid instead of just picking the 2-3 guaranteed, easy and safe options. Potential for app and community to share this passion with and ask for mushroom ID.

• Some anxiety (recon?) starting 4+ hours later, after energetic release work.

• Overall pretty manageable recon, but recon usually builds up for me, we’ll see throughout the week.

• Feel an insane drive that I used to handle home, family and errands. Feels like this is what running the executive is like and I’m glad I could use it to get through the day. Fully engaged and getting shit done.

• Confidence and self-esteem up.

• Like I usually am run down when my SO comes home but I’m ready to go get 10 more things done. Can’t wait to start work again.

• I feel energised yet focused and not anxious. Like the perfect mix of nootropics to balance stimulation with relaxation. Slight headache, but pretty manageable.

[KingEsh]

Current stack: Khan ST2, Wanted Black, Nouveau R.I.C.H
Today: Khan ST2 (07:30)

Yesterday was subliminal rest day
Some parts from my private journal over the past two days.

Yesterday:

• Despite a rough night with a wakeful baby, a moment of inner strength emerged, motivated me to overcome anxiety and frustration and take a more proactive approach to the challenges of the night. A voice said “I can!” and that voice has become louder these two days.

• Reflected on handling WB/NR, with better results after lunch yesterday, considering pushing WB to 01:30 but planning to see how I react to Khan ST2 first.

• Maintaining a productive attitude throughout the day but struggling with procrastination when relaxing. Momentum is key. Noticed today with that point from yesterday that I kicked ass, can’t stop, won’t stop. So don’t waste momentum!

• Completed a shorter energetic release work.

• Interacted with nice people at daycare, some of whom recognized me from my past job as a store clerk.

• Noted an improvement in communication skills, particularly assertiveness.

• Felt some discomfort around 18:30 yesterday, possibly due to performance anxiety and subliminal effects.

Today:

• I’m filled with an incredible go-getter energy.

• I started my day with Khan ST2, duration of loop 07:30.

• I’m focused on self-care, improving my skin, oral health, and sleep. I even ordered blue light glasses for better sleep quality. Must be a mix of WB/Khan that pushes me to take care of myself?

• I woke up feeling like a zombie, but soon regained my energy and motivation. It’s like running “ICan.exe” – a growing sense of confidence and capability. A morning fog is perhaps normal and natural, should just embrace the 30 min of system booting.

• I had engaging conversations at the daycare, realizing it’s a great way to socialize during my parental leave and connect with people from various backgrounds. See: opportunities!

• So far, no recon (reconciliation) effects from my subliminal stack. Planning to adjust loop durations after the next run of WB/NR, with a priority of extending Khan ST2 to 15 minutes.

• I had intriguing ideas about wealth creation, particularly in Iraq and the tech/software services sector. Planning to explore opportunities to provide value.

• I listened to a talk by Eckhart Tolle, practiced energetic release, and did a body awareness meditation.

• Dealing with some anxiety and gut discomfort, which can be challenging to distinguish from emotional/recon factors. Hoping kombucha production will help with gut health.

• Transitioning from nicotine pouches of strength 3/4 to 2/4, with a goal of quitting nicotine before the new year.

• Emphasizing the importance of maintaining momentum during the day and saving downtime for the night. Kicked butt today!

• Feeling tired, slightly anxious, and some discomfort in my gut 8 hours after listening time. Considering sticking to 7.5 minutes for Khan ST2.

• Completed a shower and facial care routine.

• Recon present now during the night. Khan ST2 is having a strong impact, and I’m excited to see how I’ll feel tomorrow, so I’ll let my mind and body process this without interference. Probably a good idea to stick to 07:30 loop duration for another week.

• Contacted family/friends active in the health sector in Iraq. All of them are going to get back to me for possible software gaps that I can help them with. They sounded like they had ideas already and my call was a miracle😏

• Software for patient journals etc, as the current available systems are “too expensive”. I might be able to do an MVP and see if the price point competitors have is justified or just overpricing because of zero competition. Perhaps I can add in some nouveau competition to the mix

• Love looking at myself in the mirror the past two days.

• Noticed I smile and say hi to random people walking around. Also very comfortable and confident to initiate conversations.

• Tense facial stop occurs, but I soon after it happens notice and remind myself to relax. No need to force a smile and engagement. Mysterious is powerful too!

[KingEsh]

Current stack: Khan ST2, Wanted Black, Nouveau R.I.C.H
Yesterday: WB (01:30) and NR (01:30)
Today: Rest

Yesterday:

• Woke up tired as usual, but as soon as that fog settles, I’m good to go!

• Overall didn’t feel more recon or even close to the recon on Khan ST2. So that’s good news. Do I dare to push it to 3:00? We shall see…

• I did feel some anger around midday, but if it was recon or not is something uncertain. Tolerance and patience was a bit weaker today, so perhaps it is recon.

• Emotional and saddened about the pain inflicted on kids around the world. I witness. I witness your pain and the atrocities being done to you. I witness for you. perhaps it’s not recon, just the world being it’s stupid self.

• I did smoke some these past days as well. I don’t think that’s a good thing with my schedule and demands. Luckily I only got one small piece and ran out of it now. But had some interesting moments while meditating. I’m going to save that stuff for vacation.

Today

• Grumpy morning that ended with an argument. I woke up pretty chill, but things can escalate pretty quick.

• I wonder if I have ADHD? I need to see a therapist and see if I have ADHD, because apparently it can be a symptom of that, that is m, waking up in a foul mood. Of course, I’m not doing it for my SO, because she’s also waking up with bad moods, but always blames me. I don’t mind her lack of self-awareness, except in the mornings. But I want to do it for me and my kid. I can’t change others, but I always work in myself.

• Got a cool revelation today in how to be more efficient doing house chores and improving my cleaning skills.

• Found cool, playful and creative activities to do at home with the baby, now that it’s freezing.

• Reading the alchemist really brought back obsessisive memories of my Twitch hobby. I need to make sure I don’t go down that route again fuelled by toxic drive. I got some ideas.

• Speaking of ideas, NR is truly bringing in creativity and ideas today. Had some cool ideas of two mods for Terraria.

• Didn’t do much else today besides the usual. Morning arguments are draining, and for what? Beats me.

[KingEsh]

Also I must say Khan is working just as I expected it and more. I noticed today how I’ve become fan of writers and people who tell it how it is. That are grounded. That don’t want to hear anything that is not winning. They call self-help mental-fa**ing.

They are not so untethered. I’m more in aligned with the untethered people, which is why I wanted to run Khan, to work in my other side, my other “darker” aspects. I want to wake up the killer instinct in me again. I know it’s there, I had it the first dozen years, then it got snuffed out. Sedated.

Ying/Yang. Not too much into the mystic, not too much into the physical.
I want to be a little bit cosmic, a little bit hyena.

Can’t wait for Khan ST4. The year 2024 will be the year of the hyena!

[KingEsh]

Insane recon today. But it’s all good, I just need to remind myself my brain is working it’s magic. I can probably do a thing or two to ease it up. But it’s like muscle soreness after the gym, it’s a good process and I want to just let the brain do its thing.

I listened to full loop of Khan ST2, and it’s no joke. Which is nice, because I can feel it.

Met and talked with another guy in tech. He works at one of Sweden unicorns and is actually switching jobs. Nonetheless, another opportunity to find and upgrade my tech career.

Wanting it all, and the inability to prioritise. That’s my headache inducer and also a sign of recon.

Just got this kids store paper and they are selling a barbie-kind-of set with the theme of ASMR-streaming-studio. Something about this toy makes me highly uncomfortable. It’s for 5 year olds, and I’m like how messed up is that? All I see is this half naked females licking on a microphone shaped like an ear.

[KingEsh]

Khan is really growing on me. It’s awesome and I’m only in stage 2, and only ran stage one for one cycle. Imagine running more cycles and running Khan for a year?

So far Khan has helped me in gaining clarity in my goal. I said I wanted to have fun, be assertive, confidence, self-esteem, be polarising and so on.

Well first of all it made it clear for me that what I want is personal power. Simple, yet nuanced. Instead of me thinking of all these things, I just think personal power.

Also it’s had lead me to people, courses and books that will aid me in my journey to be a bit more ME, in an unapologetic manner. Respectful, but me, and that might mean polarising are times. I just know the process has started and noticed it today how I’m drawn to certain things now I want and how TV and social media had become boring even disgusting. Things are happening….

A lot is realisations and things unfolding, that I’m processing now. New ways of thinking…I’ll share them after I processed them, as I understand them.

I’m not there, but it can’t be stopped now. I’m on the first step.

The step has a sign to it that says….
“No False Gods”

[KingEsh]

var results = action * rightActionPercent * time;

I’ve spent way too much time in learning and trying to analyse best right action. But here is the thing, time you can’t really control, it goes on. But you can always take action. And as long as it’s in the general direction of your goals, right action will never be 0%. So stop wasting time being an analyst and make a decision and go with it!

Pragmatic application: picking a sub or a stack.

Just pick something that generally moves you towards your goals and go!

The reason sometimes is hard to pick subs is that many of them can in a shape or form benefit almost any goal. Therefore by definition, they will never be 0% right action. You’re good to go. So just go with it and adjust later if necessary.

It’s better to make a decision, stick to it for 1-4 cycles, than to be stuck in analysis-paralysis.

But remember, if action is 0, don’t be surprised if your results are 0. So right action is not as important as action itself!

Action!

[KingEsh]

I’ve been taking a cold shower the last few days. It’s amazing, why have I been avoiding this?

That moment before going in. That moment is the key. You learn to do it regardless the fear and worry.

Instead of waiting for things to become easier, more comfortable, for you to have more confidence, you just do it regardless. I don’t think it will ever get easier, how can it? You go from warm to cold in an instant. You do what the majority don’t do, do the uncomfortable regardless. It’s supposed to be uncomfortable!

That moment translates to those other moments, key moments in your life, key decisions to take action on in cross road moment.

Just do it! The right moment will never come.

——
Been listening to Khan ST2 (15:00), WB (01:30) and NR (01:30). On alternate days of course and its been a great cycle so far.

Ideas, socialising and meeting people in the field I’m in, building the confidence to take my career to the next level.

The theme has been “No false Gods” and the power of NO.

I’ve always been a yes man, thinking I’m so cool and open minded. Then I would wonder why I’m never getting anywhere fast enough. Well, it’s just as important to say no. No to things that waste your time. No to meaningless things. Not everything is worthy your attention and deserve your yes. Because life is short.

I protect my money and objects. But I never protect the one finite thing, the most precious thing, my time. I will die one day.

Peace

[KingEsh]

Had brunch with extended family today and had a chance to discuss with one guy who is a wealthy lawyer of my next career/wealth moves. His wife is also a tech high up in fin-tech. He said we should have a meeting under more formal conditions and discuss this further and he can give me advice and do some digging. he also said “anything for family”.

Anyway, things are forming and moving for my career/wealth ascension plan next year.

Did side research on my ideas and it looks like there isn’t exactly something in this niche and the things that similar or closest are being controlled by a monopoly. This doesn’t demotivate me. Let’s see if we can disrupt the monopoly.

[KingEsh]

Been doing my thing lately, played 2:30 of NR and WB today. Increased my listening by 1 minute. Might be a tough idea considering the recon today.

Overall, besides the recon, feels good man, also felt like a star on the family brunch. When we left it was like DiCaprio leaving a gathering, everyone coming up and hugging and shit.

Deep recon today, started last night. I guess I’m processing this experience.

• Meditating
• Cold showers
• Energy work (release)
• Reading
• Tapering off nicotine and caffeine.
• Working on improving my daily hydration (important for subs and much more)
• Been hitting the sack for 8 hours, improving my sleep.

Also been working on increasing my responsibility and saying no to meaningless things daily. Even thoughts and ruminating thoughts that I know in the end doesn’t matter!

No False Gods!!!

[KingEsh]

• Say NO to mid shit.

• Seek out more responsibility.

What is mid, is something different for each person, even though there are some universal “mid” things too. Which is the damnest thing, because you, who’s your worst enemy, must figure out what the mid things you’re engaging with in your life.

[KingEsh]

Another day

Nothing crazy, been enjoying meditation and still wake up with zest. I’m glad my zombie state in the morning seem gone. I wake up, even 1 hour earlier today and ready to hit that cold shower. And after I’ve done that, everything else is cozy and easy to accomplish. Going from a warm bed to a cold shower, that is hard. Cleaning the house, taking care and engaging baby, and taking care of tasks? Easy.

Riding that momentum wave!

Even though I’ve been going through some recon. I think it’s from the increasing WB/NR by one minute each, as well as running Khan ST2 for 15 minutes. It’s fine. It means change is happening.