Alex Being His True Self Again

Journals - Major Programs
#60

Been a while again, eh :smiley:

I noticed how different the NSE makes the subs.

I kept running my custom, but threw the Nectar sub in for some fun. The fun didn’t happen (yet), but the fame and wealth component from my custom was lensed through the Nectar NSE. Meaning, I was all of a sudden focused again on what I did in the past:
Masculinity and relationship dynamics, fighting for the nuclear family etc.

Which is not what I want to do right now, hence I am dropping Nectar and will add AIMBOT back in so my focus will stick to the gaming.
Ill probably also add Khan Black, going slowly through the stages because literally anyone has come forth how good the sub is and amplifies all other things.

Ive also grown massively from my old Wanted runs. While I always loved Wanted, and THOUGHT its my true self, now I am getting the vibe of it being absolutely not where or who I want to be.
It had very cool effects, specifically around sex and bringing beauty into my life (WB man in summer. Literally all the girls were super hot and sexy)

But, ultimately, I noticed how this doesnt really add anything.

Which is why I am so focused on Khan Black, to finally work through this sex drive of mine. Which has always been insane, but Id like to use this energy in better ways. The Nectar sub even helped with this a little bit. I dropped all the porn and am really focused on dopaminergic revival in general now.

I wanna make use of this energy in better ways.

So likely the stack gon be:
QTKS: Stark NRICH Chosen
AIMBOT
KB1

It’s a lot, I am aware, but it feels right.

Ultimately, no matter how long I run a sub, I always end up at the same place: meditation, higher consciousness.
So maybe Khan is the right direction here.

As always, all these thoughts were manifested throught YT videos, where I watch things and suddenly someone explains dopamine on a level that was new to me, so I change my life. YT seems to be my mediator :smiley:

4 Likes
#61

Alright, so KHAN BLACK is BATTERING out a lot of red pill and tate stuff.

I see the bs in it now pretty clearly lol
I also see why its so successful and why these guys think its the real deal.

It’s kinda crazy how much clarity I gained from that. And its definitely a healing a lot regarding romance, sex, etc.

In fact, we had mind-blowing sex the other day because I was relaxed, not focused on gaining anything from sex and she noticed it, I could tell. Much more open and enjoying it.

I am also starting to see her in an entirely different light, as well as myself, my masculinity and what it means to me.

Mind you, I am only 10 minutes in (2x 5min loop ST1) and its already kicking HARD.

The best thing about KB, however, is the immense relaxation towards life.
Finances? Itll be fine.
My success? Itll be fine.
Parenting? Itll be fine.
Romance? Itll be fine.

I keep pushing myself and what I do, and eventually it will work out.

Its a much different experience of life if you dont WANT and NEED things all the time, and just experience life as is.
Basically, letting go is SUPER EASY with this sub.

Oh, yeah, and porn is gone for good.
I have sexual dreams, sometimes raging ones, but it feels more like healing stuff.
Dreams, however, are DEFINITELY healing things I can tell by what they are all about :smiley:

10 Likes
#62

Best post Ive seen around in months.
Made my day. Im happy for you brother!

1 Like
#63

Thank you :pray::pray:

Indeed I was in the red pill space for many years and always wondered why it doesn’t work.

Now I know. It does work… with emotionally damaged women OR if you only focus on flings „spinning plates“

Long term it’s a loss.

Anyway not here to shit on it, sone men need that stage to learn that lesson themselves.

For me I’m in a new stage of life.
Not needy for sex at all. Resentment towards my wife 100% gone. In fact I don’t care much about sex because I want to transmute it into business growth.
Result? My wife is all horny. Oh my :rofl::rofl:

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#64

For sure! I’ve been there too and I see it for what it is. Stage in life where you learn everything to one day move on with your own individual thinking and keep the beliefs that serve you well while allowing the rest go.

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#65

Happy for you man!

I’m starting to feel moments of a nice and buzzy feeling throughout the day on Khan Black 1.

PMO is not gone, but I think I have some way to go to heal. I’m super horny all the time, and I’m dreaming or catching myself daydreaming and replaying sexual experiences from the past. It must be to resolve issues in them or around them experiences.

Anyway, awesome so far and I agree.
Being vs doing, it’s nice.

1 Like
Story Of Jack | Khan & stuff
#66

Unexpected update:

1 Like
#67

Can someone do a psychological anylsis:

I always played as female characters in games. Or mostly. When you have to choose.
I even watched a video about it how men just find it more aesthetically pleasing, because, well, the female body is beautiful.
And, because, you guessed it, they’re generally quite sexy.

However, a week ago I had the sudden urge to change my The Finals character from the girl to a man, wearing a suit.
And I been rocking that ever since.

I think it is a subconscious thing.
But what it is it?

Is it KB ST1 getting rid of the need for oversexualizing everything? (
Is it the acceptance of male energy and masculinity?
Or does it not mean shit? :smiley:

1 Like
#68

On another note I get the urge to drop my Custom for a bit.

Im close to the next washout so it might just be recon and overexposure, but it feels like I should drop it for a bit and let it flourish.

Meanwhile I also feel like running Solo Emperor instead.

Mostly because NRICH /Stark seems a bit TOO focused on disrupting the existing markets lol By which I mean, Im too much focused on going viral instead of building the foundational blocks of my online business first. I.e. a bunch of content or even a fucking direction where I want to go (now IM focused on shooters over marvel snap, which is definitely an effect of AIMBOT. But then again, I always enjoyed shooters, so its not unnatural (although this market is def tougher to tap into))

Im romanticizing my Old Emperor Chosen custom aswell, although this was old Emperor, idk how this would work with the new Emp. Generally I was the guy everyone wanted to be with and it reflected in business.
Maybe this is what is drawing me.

Still, Ill wait 1+ weeks until things are settling.

What definitely sticks is Khan Black and AIMBOT.
AIMBOT, funnily enough, mostly for the INSANE great mindset that everything will just work out. Basically the law of assumption in a sub :smiley:
BUT; I’m not just sitting here manifesting. I put in a ton of work, but combined with a mindset that everything will work out, it feels amazing.

The last NRICH/Stark/Chosen custom run did NOT feel good. As in, it brought anxieties back that money is tight.
The next loop of AIMBOT, funnily, solved that again.

I don’t see it as a failure of the sub, more of me not aligning with the numbers crunching style, more with the faith and action type.

I might even run a cycle of just KB1 and AIMBOT.

2 Likes
#69

Insane combo bro. I’m loving KB and Aimbot as well. I feel like Aimbots NSE is spreading out to the others I’m running. I don’t know, just a thought.

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#70

It does, 100%. I definitely noticed a lot of learning effects in the other subs.

But the biggest thing I got from it truly is that understanding how I create the reality I live in and that winning is the only option for me going forward :smiley:

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#71

That’s awesome :star_struck: like as in thoughts you’re having as well, and how they affect your reality?

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#72

3 months eh?

Well I was posting in the other thread mostly, but oh boy here’s something.

I said before that whenever I run a sub for longer periods of time, I start to become spiritual again…
I only ran one loop of Sanguine like 2 weeks ago, idk if thats the reason, or if Stark Black, which I have been running for months, is giving me my true nature again.

Because its a bit shocking. But @SaintSovereign keeps saying you cant run from ZP, and it only shows you who you truly are deep down. As in, revealing sides you didnt know existed, and/or your shadow.

(I tag you intentionally there Saint, because I wanna pick your brain)

Right now it seems I am:

  • Spiritual, that I believe in a God. Not the wise man in the sky, more the light thingy. Its just endless light, warmth and glory, and we’re are small specs of it that went out into the physical world to experience it. Even having certain things to work through and deal with.
  • I am also VERY dominant and STRICT and ROUGH. If people dont do as I please around me, I kick them out my life fast. This has always been the case in the past, and I thought its something I need to work on, but honestly, it served me well most of my life. Maybe its not something to work through but to accept?
  • I am VERY sexual, I enjoy it and want to have all facets of it. Which I am getting more of due to the dominance, but still. I sometimes feel like this is weird to reconcile with the spiritual part.
  • I dont have much empathy for people. I judge them fast and a lot. And if they dont get their shit together and/or act towards doing so, I devalue them (this could honestly be my shadow after years of being addicted to porn)

Basically, my Gemini sign shines bright here. Back and forth. Earth and heaven. Sex and creativity. Taking and giving.

And this is kinda the question for everyoner and/or @SaintSovereign
You started as the tough alpha, business, etc, all on the earthly side of things and then you found the spiritual. Or was it always within you? How do you reconcile the two?

Maybe its just the belief that a spiritual person can’t have teeth and just always “presents the other cheek” instead of pushing for what he needs, even if its carnal desires.

Could also be new age thinking to always be goody-two-shoes which might work in the spiritual realm, but not on earth.

Maybe its also reconciling the consciousness we all carry (spiritual) with the body we drive here (earthly) and the respective desires.

This might all just be recon, but I notice a dissonance within myself a lot. It drove me off of Sanguine, but maybe this is exactly when I should keep running it…

3 Likes
#73

Im basically constantly iterating between setting goals and the surrender experiment of just taking action and letting life unfold.

However, with SB I realized how strong my mind TRULY is in shaping reality. Sometimes it’s even frightening how quickly it changes reality.
For example, if I visualize a certain sexual thing or things I want my wife to wear, as soon as I let go of the thought it almost happens INSTANTLY.
And I catch myself being shocked and how directly I can change reality.

And this is where I wonder if setting goals actually limits my success or if it is the necessary visualization to get me there…

Maybe I finally have to choose a direction (the one that feels better for me (which would be the surrender experiment one)) and discard the rest and never look back.
It might be a question of taking a leap here…

3 Likes
#74

I find this quite interesting, because I too am familiar with these modalities of goal-setting and just have a vision and let thing fall where they may, let them unfold. Reflecting on it as well, good question.

I remember specifically back to my cycles of RoM/RoS, it felt like I only need to run these and no specific goal subliminal, as these things helped get out of my own way and let it naturally unfold, which it did at the time for my goal back then of running 10k, starting from barely walking enough.

Also currently I’m exploring Tao, QiGong and such practices. And one intepretantion of the tao or the dao, is that the dao lives in totality and not in the extreme end of poles. According to tao te ching and my intepretation of it is that one shouldn’t reflect on beauty for instance as then uglyness is born. If you pick one side, the other side gets manifested as well or something like that.
So the sage takes action with inaction, or something along those lines. Either or, he is in the middle, totality, both spectrums, thoe whole sprectrum. Anyway, just a thought that popped up just as I read that passage today and then you wrote this message of the tension between spirituality and earthly.

According to Osho, Lau Tzu or whatever his name was is like a tree, high up in the spiritual realms but also roots deep down in the earth. Totality.

2 Likes
#75

I read Alan Watts books on the WuWei. This seems to be along a similar line. Action with inaction. Or effortless action. As soon as what you do becomes effortless, youre not tryharding, youre just doing what comes naturally to you, life unfolds in all the right directions.

Makes sense youtube wise. Recently I started making the guides with just the game running in the background, and me explaining it.
No massive edits, no fancy music. Just me talking. Got about 6x the views lol

Maybe that IS the solution. Effortless action.

I mean it makes sense. We are dual beings. Our infinite consciousness driving this finite flesh vehicle.
Thus, a certain dissonance is to be expected?

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#76

Oh yeah man, WuWei, I saw your video on your YT, the one that blew up, good job. :slight_smile: I got inspired to perhaps do the same as I can’t find the time to edit.

Yeah well, it’s very subtle his teaching so I am not fully in the know. Plus he clearly states if it is written and can be explained it’s not tao. So he starts the Tao Te Ching basically saying anything written here is not tao, because tao can’t be explained/understood with words.

I am unsure if it can be dealt with, because dissonance could be a part of a duality as well (dissonance / order perhaps?), so he says I guess drop it all together and flow. But I am still studying, not certain. I am intepreting his words that he states are not tao. :smiley: it’s futile. lets give up. lol

1 Like
#77

It might all be an echo of my Sanguine run tbh. Because it literally has the Zen Circle on the cover, and I am coming back to this just now.
However, I was subconsciously guided to run this sub, and while recon was TOUGH lol, the effects after it vanished were pretty neat.
Mostly towards my relationship, I felt like SB had a better effect on the business, but it might be a combination of what both these subs get out of me.

Either way, yeah. It cannot be put into words, so whatever we’re writing here is futile. Alan Watts attempted it anyway in “The Way of Zen.” I enjoyed that book. Its all very vague because the nature of it is. But it somehow still made sense.

Effortless Action is the term that struck me the most.

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#78

Sanguine sounds awesome, I might run that later.

Yeah, I think you have experienced it, WuWei, effortless action at least with the YT video. So you understand it, it’s just hard to explain it to others in words. I need to check out that book too.

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#79

So

It’s been a while eh lol

Lots of things I mostly journaled privately. However I came to Christ back in force, learned tons of important lessons from DRED which is the core sub. For some reason I wanna run this consistently although it’s a healing sub. Technically.

Anyway I want a sub that covers gods will and my diligent work towards it.

So it’s divine and wealth modules.

@Malkuth greatly read my astrology chart a while ago that I need a job that is selfless helping and Transforming others with a public presence.

I don’t know if the gaming streaming is that or more of a side thing but it’s definitely social media. I’m convinced my that.

So here’s a scramble of a custom idea:

God‘s Talent

1 Chosen Core

2 DRED4 Core

3 New Auric Experience Core

4 Cosmic Wealth

5 One purpose

6 Synergy Winner Overdrive

7 synergy subconscious mastery

8 synergy glory incarnate

9 Ethereal Presence

10 Entranced

11 Lion IV

12 New wealth experience core

13 New Results Experience Enhancer

14 New Spiritual Experience Enhancer

15 New conscious Guidance thing

16 Safety net

17 Synergy the golden one

18 virtue temperance

19 ardent light

20 starfilled night

21 mystic osmosis

22 Faith unyielding

23 synergy tale of the dragon

24 synergy divine dominion

I need to narrow it down still but I’m not sure what to cut. It almost feels like this is more like 2 customs. One divine and one wealth but I kinda like it in one to get a divine understanding of how to use the resources that were given to me.

Also lots of synergy modules which seems pretty dense.
I need to think about that some more.

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