Alex Being His True Self Again

Cheers, friends,

I had quite the ride on SubClub so far.
Full on love, spiritual, full on wealth, you name it.

It was all a great experience and taught me a lot, but after my private testing with QTKS, I had a BIG revelation:
Who I truly am.
And what I always wanted to do.

I always liked OG Wanted, have a lot of Emperor Chosen under my belt.

So Wanted Black just kinda popped in my mind.

Now, I am married for 6 years now, so WB shouldn’t be the right way, right?

Well, I tested it anyway. 5min loop.

And boy, this fired hard:

Embrace your true self and amplify your innate qualities, without the need for pretense or performance

I mentioned in another thread that I dropped my current business, because I now want to pursue Twitch streaming and showing streamers how to monetize this properly with my business knowledge.

Because THIS IS who I am. Gaming, making money, having fun.

Also, my sexuality.
I tried to do karezza and stuff in the past, but I realized that I AM the guy who has surface level sex and I like that. This is who I always was before this relationship.
And even in the beginning of it.
Over years, this all dropped a bit with her, with which I certainly had my portion to eat as well.
But it is SUCH A GOOD FEELING to realize who you truly are. WB fired this FAST and HARD to know that.

I am also totally open to multiple women, I always was.
I am aware that my wife might not be open for that, and its not a main goal right now. But I definitely am back to who I truly am.
Or rather, focusing more on that.

I cannot put in words how awesome it is to be realized in your self, sexually. I have no shame about what I want. There is no feeling of “getting caught” because I have a bunch of passionate sex gifs on my phone I wanna send her. That’s just my way of teasing. And it’s fine.

Now, for the results,

  • my wife does NOT submit into my aura for now. I flirted with her a bit the other days, sexual innuendo. Went into a wall (free will scripting works, and it’s fine, not mad about it)
  • Initially, she was much more touchy, but I was a bit in recon so I didn’t utilize that
  • SUPERHOT women, which are exactly my type, manifesting everywhere.
  • Men also are interested. Not in a gay manner, more like just being interested. Was invited by a friend for dinner. He NEVER did that, ever. Also meeting with lots of old friends.
  • People asking me about my opinion a lot.

That’s it for now.
5min gave me some recon, but it was generally fine to bear.
I keep wondering if it is really recon that HAS to reside eventually, or if it’s recon showing me that I don’t like the life right now and need to change things.

Also before anyone is afraid about WB making me not like my relationship, no. I had these thoughts about it before, but I kinda tried to ignore it. You can’t run from WB.

I will iterate between my QTKS EOG custom and just EOG3 for manifestations.
Also GMX, because I stream on Twitch and, of course, want the skill. First loop of that on Sunday.


FIRST! I mean… following


This is easily something I might have put in my own journal if you hadn’t already. It’s like looking into a mirror.

This too. I have admitted this to myself as such recently.

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As Saint said, the subs amplify who you are. They don’t instill anything in you.
Blaming the sub for these thoughts is a cheap copout, and I am not about that.

It’s been on my mind MANY times in the last years.
It’s also been on my mind MANY times how great she CAN BE.

Maybe she turns around, or maybe she just can’t give me what I need (which is not her fault, I should’ve seen this earlier).

Know what’s funny?
I recently realized something.
I’ve been watching porn for MANY years in the past. But if I think back to what kind of porn it was, it clearly is a showcase of my sexual desires.
Now, you know, sometimes after a “session” you’re a bit disgusted. Post-nut clarity. Not weird shit, but like, “Ok I went a bit crazy there.”

But generally, the ones that get you going initially, clearly indicate your darker drive. Don’t they?
And threesomes clearly were on there lol
It’s a classic male fantasy. Nothing crazy. But still.
The public stuff might probably be the craziest, but then again, my wife was up for it in the beginning. She became VERY tied up in the last 1-2 years.

It might’ve been my LBFH/Spiritual path which made me a bit too feminine and “loving.” I think she likes the bad boy more, which is who I was when we met.
So, yeah, I remember you saying @Palpatine “this is the last straw, either she responds to WB or fuck it.” And I feel exactly the same currently.

It’s not the reason I run WB, it’s because I like being that guy. But either she comes around or meh, I move on.

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I’m mixing up my Sci-Fi franchises here, but…


The weirdest, but cool, thing is the vitality of WB.

I feel a lot younger again.
You know, gaming, sex, women, gym, all that.

Or it’s reconciling the notion of ALL my peers that at 30yo life ends because you have a house and kids and I am just not buying into that shit.
I never did.
But it feels like this is giving me a hard kill on that shitty speech intentionally.

I also noticed I am cussing a lot on WB.

Maybe it’s just the energy.
I feel very much alive, for sure.


ALright, a few days passed.

In the meantime I ran one full 15min loop against Saints recommendation.

For me, 15min loops generally work better (somehow) so I went with it. Do so at your own peril.
Not an official recommendation.

So overall I have 20min under my belt, 2 loops.
Here’s the updates:

  • INDOMITABLE self confidence. The levels are WAY above Emperor or OG Wanted to me.
  • ABSOLUTE clarity on what I do, where I go, and how I go about it. Zero second guesses.
  • My wife currently has stomach issues, already lost 6 pounds. STILL, she went lingerie shopping. I feel kinda bad she is so into sexual stuff although she is literally sick, but that’s WB’s power I guess (no sex tho because she literally can’t)
  • She is dressing much nicer. ESPECIALLY if I comment on a dress I like. Did so the other day. She wore it for 2 days after.
  • Generally more submissive. She asks for my opinion a lot and what to do, where to go.
  • VERY touchy and approaching towards me. Smiles at me all the time.

As I mentioned, I wasn’t actually looking for these results, because I kinda resignated. And we’re still FAR away from what I want in this marriage, but it’s a good start. So let’s see where it goes.

But it’s another thing, WB keeps your head level. Just because she now does these things, I am not becoming the Nice Guy. I still want to see actions and results from her towards me before I decide if this relationship works long-term.

  • More and more the thought of “I love sex, lots of it and that is fine” so basically, I am accepting my true self, regardless of what anyone thinks
  • Lots of thoughts about the people around me. I am not asking them if they like me. I ask myself if I like them.
  • There is a certain belief that I can achieve ANYTHING. No matter what it is I am currently thinking of, WB sends me a “You WILL do everything. Don’t worry.” Lovely.
  • Physical shifting: already working lol. I definitely notice a generally fuller biceps and upper body outside of workouts. Losing fat around my belly I feel like. Mirror looks good!
  • My sister in law was REALLY presenting her ass to me yesterday. It was obvious af because she has never done this before. With my wife right next to me. And her husband lol
  • Generally, women are much more “ouvert” in how they act around me.
  • There is definitely a fame component. Many people ask me stuff randomly. Colleagues I haven’t talked to in years suddenly came up and asked me about my old car, for example. This happens a lot, everywhere. YOu have to be prepared for that. You’re now the point of interest.

I am forgetting a bunch of things, but this covers the biggest things.
And the internal different viewpoint of myself cannot be emphasized enough. I am a different man. How I see myself, especially also my flaws.
A simple one:
I always had an issue with porn. Now I see some smaller benefits, one of which is, sending sensual porn gifs to my wife to get her in the mood. Like just sending the gif and be like “That’s us tonight.”

I don’t shoot it to porn all day, but I enjoy it as a mood enhancer.

And that’s just one example.


Same here. I get more subliminal reinforcement and that’s what I need. Also I get only slight recon and from time to time only and usually on healing titles, like DR:LD very recently. I’m starting to think that on the new ZP it’s possible to force the subconscious into submission. Too early to state that with no shadow of doubt though.

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Idk, my thoughts revolved more around that some people’s subconscious need the force, whereas others hate it.
Or rather, if I get exposed to it more, I readily suck it up lol

Maybe, idk why, but I’ll def stick to 15min.


Alexander, how are the boundaries on this one? I mean WB.
It’s funny tha that when you were running CFW, you had this kind of aura which I would just ignore you and your posts. Maybe it was the anti-negativity aura(let’s leave that topic here). And now you are appearing on my radar in different ways.

Most of what you describe sounds like a testosterone spike.

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Makes sense. I was thinking of T level influence on WB. Likely is pretty high.

That’s alarming, I wanted to see its effect on you with WB.


But not acceptance of watching it all day, everyday. I got shit to do. More like, turning a flaw into something useful.

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Yesterday I ran 15min of GMX and as always, when I run the next sub, it somehow amplifies the last I ran (maybe the uplifting scripting?)

Because all of a sudden I see my wife in a different light.
Or rather, it’s a back and forth.
Sometimes I think “wtf are you doing with yourself? Put some effort in yourself and your body” and the next moment it’s “damn, that ass.”

And I was way more loving towards her yesterday, because SHE was way more loving.

Not the result I expected of WB.
Maybe, however, it is just some weird form of recon where my mind isn’t sure about what it likes lol

I, do, however notice that the sex drive on WB is INSANE.

So, WB with KB, whoever runs it, can probably be transmuted into some GREAT creativity.


As a married man who also is chasing his Passions as a business, I am excited to watch this thread. I think I am going to try WB in my shiny sub spot in the stack after reading some of your journal.


I think I realized now why the “loving” came back.

It’s the realization of the dance of the sexes when it comes to seduction. So it literally subconsciously teaches me seduction.
So far we only ever had sex because I asked her. And if I think back to the beginning of the RS, I was always seducing her. Teasing her, playing with her.

And what better “object” to try your skills than your own wife?

If I can overcome her objections that have built over years, I can lay any woman :smiley:

But I am still very much detached from the outcome. I see it more as a game.

Oh I love this sub!


Lol that happens to me too with my girlfriend, since I started Wanted.

For me something weird and unexpected happened with WB. Suddenly I noticed a lack of attractive women everywhere I go, my girlfriend seems to be the only attractive one.
Also I had a dream with the most beautiful woman Im able to concieve.
My mind is resetting everything I knew about beauty and attraction. Besides that Im so unaffected by the dynamics and games of seduction.

Ive noticed the same thing, but it only turns ON whenever I engage in sexual activity, the rest of the time I dont even think about it.


I think all of the alpha/seduction subs greatly raise T. I got my levels tested when I was like 24 and my levels were around 800 total, but my free testosterone was actually above and outside of the normal range. I always thought I had low t in the past as well lol. Believe I was running Khan or something at the time.

This is pretty much it, yeah.
I guess a lot of reshifting and moving parts in the mind there about attraction etc.

That is another good explanation.
It definitely feels like it.