[STACKED] Digger’s Quantum EmperorQ


#21

DAY11

Current stack:

  • QL ST2 (DAY6)
  • AI-Covid19
  • EQ

Woke up earlier than usual. However, right after preparing my kids’ breakfast and the computer for which they will do their schoolwork in, I fell asleep right away. Felt really tired this morning. Like my whole body was repairing itself.
Cold is very minimal. Throat is still a bit sore but getting better. Though, as I said, I felt tired most of the day.

Tried to keep calm and only speak in a low volume. Funny thing is, even if I thought my kids couldn’t hear me when I call them, they would still come. I actually found speaking like this better instead of shouting. In fact, I don’t recall shouting at all today. And with kids cooped up for so long? It’s really surprising!

Even if I spoke in low volume, I felt that my voice still had a commanding effect on my wife and kids. Will try this again tomorrow to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. Or maybe I’m giving off an aura of command or something?

Don’t remember my dreams lately. Not even sure if I had any these days.

Still trying to convince myself about the blog thing. If I wake up early tomorrow, this person whom I got that idea from will be having a free online workshop. Hope to wake up without waking up the wife so that I can attend. Maybe that would finally make up my mind.

Another work project I’m working on wasn’t going as well as I hoped the past few days. However, last night, I finally was able to see why it wasn’t working. Now that I can get it moving, I’m not sure if it will be applicable to our situation because of the requirements just to get it to work. Having it to scale would need a lot more resources than I expected. Oh well, at least I can show something to my boss next week.


#22

It seems not only to be about the commanding effect on your family, but also your ability to lead yourself. Seems connected. Over time people react instinctively to integrity and commitment. Consistency.


#23

DAY13

Current stack:

  • QL ST2 (DAY8)
  • AI-Covid19
  • EQ

Wasn’t able to update last night as wife and I had an argument. She’s really resentful and keeps and remembers everything she thinks was done against her (whether true or just in her head). I can see that this is a trait of a very insecure person, and yet she decides to be insecure.

Because of that, I ended up shouting. Was fine yesterday morning and afternoon. No shouting, and keeping my voice calm and level, and not having to increase the volume. Yet when she decides to pick a fight, I tried to keep my voice level. Yet it’s very hard when the other person does not really want to listen.

Ended waking up with a migraine today. Slept in most of the day so I can’t report much. Still, was able to not shout today.

I noticed that my way of control before was shouting and exerting whatever force I could onto the world. I realize now that this will only cause pain for me. Am trying to do a gentler approach to things. Hence keeping my voice at a low volume.


#24

DAY15(early update)

Current stack:

  • QL ST2 (DAY10)
  • AI-Covid19
  • EQ

Wasn’t able to update yesterday because my migraine was so bad. Almost couldn’t attend our team’s weekly meeting last night. By the time my headache subsided enough for me to work, I got swamped and couldn’t update. Got to sleep past 2am already.

2 things I’m noticing:

  1. I feel like I have this choice whether or not to be angry lately. In almost all situations wherein I get mad, I have a feeling that I can choose to do so shortly before I do get mad. And somehow I feel that anger’s been my “default” for so long, even if I do think I have a choice, I still go with getting mad.
  2. I noticed that if I don’t shout, and keep my voice at a medium or low volume, I feel calmer. It’s like consciously setting my voice also sets my mood.

So I know I had a dream last night. I just can’t remember what exactly. Something about a distant relative of mine.

So even if my eyes hurt due to lack of sleep, I am still able to get up and work. Funny. I don’t recall feeling this way before. Before, if I lack sleep, I stay in bed or grudgingly get up to work. But now, I don’t feel that way.

By the way, throat’s much better now. Also no headache. Which is weird since I lack sleep.


#25

DAY15

Current stack:

  • QL ST2 (DAY10)
  • AI-Covid19
  • EQ

Nothing much to update really. Been working on a problem that’s gotten me stumped. Not sure how to solve it really. Been racking my brain for some time now and yet can’t figure it out. Maybe a break from this is what I need.

StarkQ seems like an awesome product I could use once this pandemic is over. Been day dreaming about what it would be like to be invited as a speaker in various conferences, to be able to publish multiple papers and such. This is actually one of the reasons why I went with QL. However, given the current slump I’m in, my confidence isn’t really very high. And I don’t know who are where to go to just to be seen.

I feel that EQ is pushing me to do something, and yet, I’m not sure what exactly I’m supposed to do.


#26

DAY16

Current stack:

  • QL ST2 (DAY11)
  • AI-Covid19
  • EQ

Slept at 3am again last night. However, I woke up at 9 and already feeling ready to work. Before, I would rather sleep till 12 or 1pm and if ever I need to do something, I would be less than thrilled to get out of bed.

Finally got a working solution to one of the problems I was tackling. Feel kind of stupid seeing that the solution was so simple. But at least I got it working.

Feel like being cooped up with kids is slowly driving me insane. Kids really know how to push my buttons. Need to find better way to vent without shouting. But at least I was able to keep my voice low 3/4 of the day.

Been day dreaming about being invited to various talks and presentations.

Still get that feeling that I should be doing more. Not yet sure what.