I never ran Ascension but I vaguely remember some sort of parallel happened where you were thinking Primal but went with Ascension instead and I went Primal.
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No, it was Primal. I went with Primal for 1 or two cycles and then switched to Ascension for more base building first.
Still need to run Primal at a point.
Btw, I’ve run Ascension last year for 6 months. 3 as a major title and 3 months in my LB custom.
No recon.
A couple of weeks ago, I’ve ran a short loop of that custom again. Serious recon.
I don’t know what changed, but my guess is Khan activated something in me and now this custom cam dig deeper than before.
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LB is a tricky sub, it is quite complex and definitely can hit hard sometimes.
12min Regeneration
15min Alchemist Singularity
I had an appointment with a physiotherapist this morning as part of the new mental health treatment I started.
I was taken by surprise by how powerful it was, I was expecting lying down on a table and receiving physical touch to relieve muscle tensions etc but instead we just sat on comfy chair and she guided me to listen to different parts of my body.
And again just like the psychologist the week before I felt immediate melting of my nervous system and sudden increased flow of my energy/emotions in all parts of my body, everything was exposed, I felt incredibly vulnerable, had some tears and also felt anger and also just non reaction as if frozen when asked to perform certain tasks, different parts of me wanting to go deeper into vulnerability to release but other parts just resisting and wanting to just get out of there.
Once again I am shocked at how good the 2 therapists I met in this government backed psychological clinic are, it looks like I found a golden healing mine!
I just listened to AS and looking forward to how it can help me.
I’m feeling very tired from the session with the physiotherapist, my nervous system is recalibrating so I’m taking it easy today.
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15min Revelation of Spirit
15min Alchemist Singularity
Since yesterday I’m entering another phase of heavy reconciliation.
The spiral of growth goes on.
After a peak of celebratory clarity seeing how far I’ve come on the path to self remembrance, a new dive into darkness is here.
It’s experienced as increased agitation, restlessness, a sense of things aren’t quite right and I should do something about it but I have no clue what it is and what to do, an uncomfortable feeling of loneliness.
I can feel how much more grounded in my peace I am even with all these things showing up, I feel more solid than ever before which in contrast makes these things even more obvious and annoying to deal with.
I went to see my good wise friend who was sharing with me she unlocked some inner power and new mastery over different energy she can use with different chakras to clear energies in spaces, things and people, it brings me joy to hear a friend’s progress in their awakening, she is ahead of me in this process and has dealt with most emotional stuff already and has been remembering and integrating knowledge of past lives and other things so she is like a mentor or a strong mirror to me.
I felt energized and uplifted in her presence and she helped me with kind words reminding me there is no other way than to accept it all as it is in the present, which brought clarity in my consciousness and helped me be more aware of the storm of energetic patterns pulling me in different directions between the past and future, creating a lot of noise in my present.
So it helped me reset in present alignement and accept more easily this new dive into uncomfortable territory, I clearly felt all the emotional pain still being held in my body needing release and that humbled me.
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15min RoS
15min AS
Alchemist Singularity is so refreshing! I can’t even write about it, I wouldn’t know where to start or end, it’s such an incredible tool, it is staying in my stack for a while.
I’ve had a very strong ‘meditation’/‘healing session’ with the lady I’m living with yesterday, it moved a lot of things within me.
I’m so blessed to have met her, many people and me included pay so much money for retreats and healers and I have access to it for free through this increasingly deeper friendship.
Being able to touch, feel and express the depths of my inner limitations and pain in a safe space without judgement with another loving human being that is ready to welcome it all is priceless.
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5min RoS
5min AS
Big difference with 5min loops versus 15min, after less than an hour it was already very integrated, what some call ‘execution phase’.
My experience with full loops has been more intense and longer processing throughout the whole day, which I enjoy going deep into, but this time it was extremely quick to process, I didn’t have to give it much awareness and I felt the execution as integrated blooming in my direct experience within the hour.
I’ve also been listening to a lot of rife frequencies for nervous system balance and other more targeted body systems harmonization.
I found a YouTube channel which is German and has a lot better quality frequencies than the previous one I listened to, in case anyone is curious the channel is Neowake Biofrequencies, the one track I play every morning now is this one https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P2GicDAh_AM&pp=0gcJCf0Ao7VqN5tD
I saw my soul friend yesterday and we had another powerful meeting, she keeps pulling my soul to the front of my consciousness and I managed to hold myself in this higher unified frequency state for a much longer time than before, it’s vey intense, it’s like a total let go on all levels, she talked a lot about death and accepting to die to wake up to infinite life, it’s easier said than done but I managed to experience this infinite open space for a litle while, it’s very hard to stabilize because there’s still a lot of screaming painful emotions in my body that pull attention away from this zero point free space within.
Work in progress, it’s going forward at a faster pace than ever and only accelerating, I’m expecting more ups and downs but damn, full awakening is nearing its head and I’m glimpsing that on the other side there’s a lot of work waiting for me from a more expanded soul level, so a different experience altogether but more active than my present life. Looking forward to this universal connection and doing God’s work more consciously.
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Neowale is great. I was a customer for over a year. Although my ADHD hindered me from using it to it’s full capacity.
If you can afford it, try the subscription to the main page. They have boundless frequencies for all matters.
The stop insomnia track helped me a lot when I was severely depressed and unable to sleep.
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During my dopamine detox in December, I listened to a lot of Neowake frequencies.
I honestly felt really good with them!
They helped me feel more grounded and made me feel lighter.
Of course, it also helped a lot that I wasn’t spending “24/7” on social media.
I can truly recommend them warmly 
.
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10min RoS
10min AS
It’s late, so much going on, this gonna be a short one.
A LOT of manifestations presenting themselves, everything is accelerating, within and without, more of the inner expansion is synchronized quickly and directly manifesting as outer expansion, my higher self is doing 90% of the work at this point, I’m watching the show unfold and trying not to get in the way.
And the increased multidimensional awareness is both exquisitely beautiful as I witness on many levels and throughout different timelines destiny unfolding and the future revealing itself while in the physical present the pathway is a mystery of every moment orchestrated with such precision that it’s eroding the deepest layers of my conditioned ego and releasing deeper and deeper pockets of illusory perceptions and painful feelings.
At this point I’m as intensely enjoying the ride in love, trust and clarity as I am scared shitless hating it all being so painfully confusing.
I bought Revelation of Dreams to help bring more awareness to my nights.
I’ve ran one loop so far and woke up today from a very intense long dream but can’t recall, I slept deeply and felt very energized and refreshed this morning.
I’m glad it has scripting for sleeping better, the copy says the whole Paragon Sleep is in it, my main interest is lucid dreaming though.
I’m noticing a more dreamy feel to my perceptions, the reality around me feels more dreamlike, lighter, more malleable.
I feel more aware of the symbology and subjective meaning I project on my experience.
It’s like the subjective texture of my reality is becoming more obvious and malleable which brings a greater sense of freedom and responsibility to my experience.
I’m hoping these effects translate to the dream world so I can experience conscious dream creation, exploration and maybe try again for astral travel.
Many years ago I practiced lucid dreaming with great results and started using the dream space for spiritual practice, I would meditate within the dream which always brought extraordinary experiences and I practiced some tibetan buddhist dream practices as well.
I tried only twice to use the lucid dream state as a platform to astral project since it’s very easy to go out of body when you’re already deep into your inner world in dream state but the last time the experience left me very unbalanced for a whole day after I did it.
I remember my main goal was simply to go as high in dimensions as I could to experience and be filled with the beauty and delight that exists there, but instead I was in very average dimensions with very human people probably in some lower emotional realm that didn’t have the greatest vibe and the whole day after this I felt the vibration of the place I visited in the astral very present with me and it wasn’t feeling good at all because my usual frequency was much higher than the realm I visited.
That’s when I learned that when I go out into the astral it’s not like lucid dreaming within your own mind where you are completely safe, it is more akin to a real travel where I take my emotional body there and whatever I experience/feel will stay with me and affect me even more than in the waking state.
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Sleep is improved, dreams are more vivid and have more depth, they last longer and feel empowering but I have no dream recall which is frustrating.
Because the dreams themselves are more intense I easily recall the feeling of it but not the actual dream content.
One very interesting thing is that I clearly feel the dream within me, the reality it touched in an empowering way and that still lives inside me, I can’t access it, but I feel its presence and I feel this barrier in between my conscious mind trying to recall and the dream story itself on the other side.
I had a good evening last night meditating deeply with the support of an alchemy of medicines, the energetic map of my ‘limitations matrix’ was revealed to me in a clear holographic way, like an inside vision mixing visual 3d image + sensations physical/emotional + mental thought bundles.
Today I am finally achieving a deep stable level of peace of mind.
It’s been a long time coming, I worked hard for over 15 years so it doesn’t come as a surprise but it is a welcome relief and an exciting new beginning.
With the help of this new opening in my mind which started with a tingling in my forehead that I followed up by an absorption practice on candle flame, I am going to start unraveling my cocoon of limitations more directly and faster.
The present is bright,
When my heart shines in the night .
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7min AS
6min RoS
Planning on 3min RoD before bed.
I practiced more of the candle flame gazing and also had deep relaxation sessions lying in bed.
I had a meditation with my landlord friend tonight and I was able to go so much deeper than ever before thanks to this new level of thoughtless awareness.
I still can’t recall my dreams but I can feel they’re only getting more intense and more empowering, I feel the progress and I sense I’m on the edge of being able to become lucid.
The interesting thing I realised today is the fact that because my dreamworld is now experienced as very positive and empowering thanks to the scripting in RoD, my waking life is also becoming more empowered, I feel the power of the dreams at night supporting me throughout the day.
I can sense another big breakthrough is around the corner, this new one pointed awareness of my mind is helping me unravel the inner knots much faster, I simply hold my mind in complete awareness and from there the light enters powerfully and spreads to the rest of my being.
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RoS 9min in the morning
RoD 7.5min evening
Been through hell for a few days, I have taken a break from seeing my friend that I’ve been smoking with almost everyday for the last 2 months, both cigarettes and joints, so I went through heavy physical withdrawal of tobacco and cannabis, I spent most of last 3 days lying down in bed feeling very low energy and depressed.
It’s been almost a week since last use now and I’m back online full throttle a lot of clarity today feeling great and having to make some decisions on my next living space.
This week I’m going to visit a place for rent, 750eur for 40m2, only 10km from the clinic where I get treatments and very close to social help office and supermarket and still close enough to the fjord and nature. But it’s only available from August 8th.
So for July I have to find something and I’ve only got 2 options. One is paying weekly rent without strings attached at a different neighbor across the street and the other is camping for free by the fjord.
Option 2 is financially appealing but a hassle, I went scouting around today and found one or two potential spots, it’s not really great locations, but it’s deep in the nature, I would still have to spend some money to get gear for cooking and some extra gear for sleeping, plus I don’t know where I can charge my phone and my escooter. There’s a camping nearby I forgot to check to see if there’s a plug I can use.
The social worker called me last week saying once my application goes through I’ll receive 2000eur per month, which is great news, it’s more money than when I was working!
But for now I only get 800eur/month from the sick leave she recommended I get from the doctor so I could get money until then.
All in all I’m very satisfied with the support I’m receiving both financial and the healing psychological side, aside from having to repeatedly refuse drugs that the psychologist keeps trying to push on me, I keep repeating that it will not help, it’s poison and will just make me a zombie and that whatever emotional pain I experience is ok but I guess that’s how he’s trained.
Also I’m good at expressing my feelings verbally so I get that from his side it might sound dramatic even though to me it’s just part of my spiritual process and a very natural thing, I use my time with him wisely so he probably has a very different idea of me than I do of myself, I avoid sharing my more spiritual insights and perspectives with him , I express only on the more traditional mental emotional level of things so I can benefit most from diving into my raw feelings and bonus I get to be seen as struggling and needing more sessions, even though I understand from a higher perspective that it’s all good and the drama of my depression and poor life circumstances is just part of a bigger picture and lessons I need to learn and grow from, things I need to go through to release old patterns and recalibrate in the freedom of the balanced and gorgeous present moment.
That’s the paradox of this whole process I’m going through, in one way I am experiencing difficulties and truly need support, but in another I really don’t because the difficulties I experience are inherent to being a human, the only difference is that I’m choosing to dive head in the difficulties within to reach the treasure hidden underneath and reconcile my humanity with the infinite bliss of my divinity, and that requires a certain amount of time and support to achieve.
But my body really holds a lot of emotions that are blocking my life energy and affect my motivation in a big way so that’s a very concrete reality as well.
It’s interesting how my spiritual search is now integrated into the mental health system, a kind of spiritual path, but instead of following a teacher like I did for years in a more traditional religious way, I get to create the path for myself with the government support.
I got carried away big time with writing, it’s good to feel alive again, so much more energy when not using cannabis daily, I’m not messing around with cigarettes anymore. Only occasional use, but it was fun diving into the habit again just like in my teens.
I’m looking forward to a more stable home of my own, but really looking forward to a stable home within myself, and unlocking the full power of my being and explode the planet with the love bomb that I truly am.
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Took the personality type test after reading saint mentioning it in another thread, I drop it here for future reference.
I took two tests on two different websites with very similar results, I seem to fit 4 personalities with balanced introvert/extrovert and balanced sensing/intuition
INFPT/INSPT
ENFPT/ENSPT
15min RoD yesterday
I had tried TRE couple years ago but it didn’t really work, I gave it another shot yesterday after seeing it in my YouTube feed and this time it really clicked, the natural shaking activated and I felt really really good afterwards.
I’m excited I found a new healing tool that is exactly what I need at the moment, dealing directly with the nervous system and physical body in a very simple and powerful way, tapping directly into the unconscious emotional/energetic blockages held in the body.
It’s a great complement to the physiotherapy sessions I go to, and it’s always so freeing to find powerful healing tools that don’t rely on external factors or mental belief.
8min RoS
7min AS
A friend from the city is visiting since yesterday, it’s helping me see how much I have grown in the last couple of months since I saw him and how much I have unplugged from the old matrix and embracing the creative freedom of my true self on more and more aspects of my life, it’s also helping me feel how much I can help and heal others through my presence alone.
I am moving out tomorrow!
I will start moving most of my stuff in the new place, I only have one big luggage and a backpack, most of the bigger things I keep at my ex place in a closet, and I will only move these things when I have a more stable place.
This place I found from word to mouth, it’s a very old cabin, very rustique and simple but it’s around 40m2.
It has electricity but no water, there is access to water through a hose outside that I can plug in an old sink in the kitchen.
The landlord bought a shower and said her son might put it together or I could do it myself, it has a pump and a heater.
For now I will shower outside, I have a camping shower bag my friend is lending me so I’ll just boil some water and fill it up every morning.
This new place is very cute about 20km from where I am now and north along the fjord, it’s deeper into nature but closer to the shops, psycholog clinic and sauna, only 10km which takes about 20min with my little scooter.
The landlord is very flexible, I pay 500eur and no need for deposit or signed lease, I can stay as long as I need and there’s plenty of jobs to do around the house with the garden and animals, she has sheeps on the property and two very cool cats.
She works at a Montessori school 2km away and seem like a very peaceful lady, she has her own house 100m away and her dad also has his house close by.
It’s an exciting new step in my journey and I’m looking forward to new experiences and new realisations and inner growth.
The TRE exercises and a new qigong type short exercise I discovered and practice for a few days now is really helping me access deeper within my body and get in touch with buried childhood emotions like never before, my root and sacral are opening up more and more and it just feels so good to feel more and more soft aliveness permeating through my being.
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How are you?