Personally, all versions of Emperor, and also Khan ST4, do not let me sleep if I play them at night. So I don’t think it’s a special thing that only EmperorQ does.
Great journal! I look forward to your future posts.
Running EmperorQ for 8 hours today minimum.
Some badly needed cash in the form of payment from a client finally came into my corporate bank account. While the amount would be peanuts to most of you, I had had a dry spell in terms of my business for a very very long time, so having this amount of cash which more than doubled what I had in my corporate bank account was very significant and gave me a sense of relief.
Still not out of the woods in terms of being financially secure and I won’t spend on anything that is unnecessary.
Keeping my fingers crossed for bigger projects from the same client - they might be delayed because of the virus but I will remain optimistic. If I win the next project , the fee would be 5-6 times that charged for the last project - that would place my business at a certain level of stability.
Unproductive day today but I continued to examine my existing network to see how they could help in terms of the growth of my businesses.
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I’m also feeling this. Altough this is gradually shifting to something more “agressive”. While on Emperor it felt abrupt, with EmperorQ is controlled, paced. I wonder if this is intentional @SaintSovereign, @Fire ! 
Yes, those are the emotional states that I am aiming to achieve and am not becoming a badass overnight.
My current emotional level is still quite far off that needed to achieve my end goals - I think Regeneration has helped a bit - so I need to rebalance myself first before the line of vision appears clear enough for me to charge forward.
Sometimes I feel that this subliminal script contains a line like “Slowly…Slowly… Relax…Relax…” that is addressed to my subconscious regularly to keep my mental state in check. While running EmperorQ, I would go haywire for an hour or so, then recalibrate myself and tell myself everything is alright and the plans are going well if I look at things from a long-term perspective.
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Yes. And if you could detach from yourself for a moment, how does a person who says this view himself as compared to others? Seeing others as more successful, bigger, greater than him, or the opposite?
Metaphors are a very powerful force that shape our lives.
Tell us more about what kinds of woods are those woods? And where would you be when you get “out of the woods”?
And is “still being in the woods” an empowering metaphor to describe this journey of growth you are on? 
“When I win the next project” 
Words shape your consciousness and determine the level of confidence you have to approach things.
AND, since networks are based on Reciprocity, how can you add value to them today, so that you can have more help when you need it in the future? Would this be a possibility?
Yes, so the aggressiveness is controlled and paced. How specifically do you notice this at your workplace, @Tarmicle? Any specific examples?
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I don’t have specific examples, or I would’ve gladly described them.
It’s more of a feeling.
However, if I had to make it an example I’d use my last interaction with my CEO, in which I answered to her in a very assertive way, without sounding arrogant or aggressive. I’ve never been able to do that in the past. I’d either answer aggressively or passively. See here:
Did I answer your question, @AMASH?
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Thank you @Tarmicle
Yes, to me, I would you the term “assertive,” but if “aggressive” works better for you, then that’s what is important.
When some people think of “aggressive,” they imagine something less friendly.
I look forward to reading more about you progress!
Thanks @AMASH
That’s exactly what I meant.
In a confrontation, I used to be aggressive (not friendly) or passive (not confronting). With EmperorQ I find myself more paced, relaxed and controlled in confrontations. So yeah, if the terms suits you, you can call it “assertive”.
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Interesting vivid dream last night.
I somehow dreamt that I was part of the plot in a body-swapping drama. This plot device had been of interest to me after I had watched on Netflix a body-swapping drama where Prime Minister and his son swapped dramas. In this case, it was more like a body-swap between a husband and a wife. Anyway, in such a plot device, there would always be feelings of embarassment and guilt over inability to accomplish roles and I could sense that feeling in the dream.
I also dreamt that I was beside a window watching a performing troupe walk past my home. Now thinking about it, I had a similar dream before - just that this time I was watching from the 1st floor instead of the 2nd floor.
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Been very crazy for the past 12 hours trying to understand how I should approach embarking on a journey towards learning Python and Blockchain.
As someone without programming knowledge at all , I am seriously looking at getting a foundation in Python in order to be able to be eventually learn how to build Blockchain applications like smart contracts.
I sense a big opportunity to provide some strategy and technical consulting services in certain industries.
But have to get the basics right. For most of my life, I have never had the confidence in engaging in anything too technical - now I don’t want to miss this opportunity before it goes away.
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“Woods” as in still not yet in the “safe zone”, similar to a patient still in the Intensive Care Unit whose condition has stabilized but still needs monitoring. I would like to use “still being in the woods” while my safe zone lies ahead with “green shoots”, a metaphor for my “safe zone” where I can start focusing on growing my “plants of prosperity”.
Its interesting that you mentioned this. Today, I have been looking at enhancing the value I can provide to others by improving my skills offering and want to go out of my comfort zone by learning some stuff that I never had confidence in learning before.
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It has been 10 days of running EmperorQ for at least 7 hours daily now.
I never imagined that I would at this age decide to make the leap to pick up something related to programming and give a shot at mastering a skill that would be very very marketable in such times of incredible change. It is a daunting journey and I am even surprised about my own courage.
I’ve started on my online python development course and I give myself 8 months to at the very least master Python, Blockchain development and then eventually smart contracts development. I don’t have time to waste by spending time learning about data science , artificial intelligence or cryptography - unless it is relevant to my end goal.
I can see something ahead as well as the end-goal, and I want to integrate whatever I learn on this journey into my existing skillsets and interests to shape into my ultimate service offering.
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I ran EmperorQ for 6-7 hours today.
I went to meet a PR Agency today which was interested in offering its services to my company. They had contacted me the week before.
The salesperson was very nice and we had a talk for about an hour. I actually didn’t feel that I needed their services and just went down to meet the lady out of curiosity.
I somehow felt that during the meeting, I was able to project a very confident frame - I spoke slowly and with eloquence about my company. I was even able to carry on an interesting conversation with the sales person for including subjects that were beyond our business agenda.
Continued with my online Python course at night. My brain felt like exploding as I felt that I had to think in a different manner to understand the subject but I guess its easier than sitting in a classroom and not understanding whatever the lecturer is saying since this is a topic that I am unfamiliar with.
Received news that my ailing grandmother is in ill-health and she may go off any moment. In my heart, I guess this is expected so I am not feeling anything and just hope that she may move on peacefully to a place where she would feel happy. 70 years of bitterness and other emotional baggage is no joke and she managed to live until 90 years old with all that so it is quite an achievement. In my heart, I thank the carer who has been devoted to taking care of her in her final days.
The global economic fallout from the coronavirus is getting worse and worse everyday, and are slowly having an impact on me work and business-wise.
To supplement my income, while I am spending time learning up on python as part of my long-term strategy, I am looking for opportunities to provide freelance photography services as well as other part-time gigs. I’ve also applied for suitable part-time positions to tide over the crisis while monitoring the situation for my upcoming consultancy projects.
While most of negative news still doesn’t have a real impact on me personally - to me all that is happening is just a expression of my imaginative thoughts and I still joke about it everyday - my main concern is for emotional and physical well-being of the ones around me and that is something I still find difficult not to worry about.
On the spiritual side, I’ve somehow managed to grasp the essence of the idea of “I am” and am able to spend more time meditating on the nature of “I am”.
I am working towards the stage where “I am” confident enough to “buy the pearl”.
I guess that EmperorQ continues to provide me that sense of “stability” and “control” in such times. I am waiting to see what happens after a month of running it.
I know this is very trivial, but I had been running EmperorQa (Ultrasonic) and took a nap.
Somehow I ended up dreaming about myself typing something on this forum, and made some kind of one-word reply to post written by @Malkuth.
Of course when I woke up, I saw that I hadn’t done so.
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I’ve sent a dream-like to your dream-reply.
More than 2 weeks of running EmperorQ almost daily now. I took a break on Friday but ran ultrasonic from my laptop for over 9 hours.
I slept for about 6 hours but I think I had a series vivid dreams.
- Some sexual dream involving an ex-colleague of mine. Won’t go into detail here.
- Dreaming of someone I pushed to the ground suffering a serious injury and subsequently his head fell off. I had the travel-back-in-time experience again in my dream to go back to a time before the accident happened. I was informed that not everything could be corrected though.
- Haunted dream where a group of soldiers standing around suddenly lost their faces to be replaced by hollow spaces. In a narrow corridor, a ghost closed in on an army officer. I was so afraid I ran towards the door at the other end of the corridor and had difficulty opening it before I entered a lift. I was waiting to get to ground-floor and was shocked when the lift stopped half-way. Lucky, the people who entered the lift were benign.
My grandmother has been warded in the isolation area of the hospital. I think the family is calm and my mother is quite accepting of her mother’s fate. In fact, my mother seemed to treat everything as normal.
For myself, I am not thrown into a whirl of anxiety as usual in such situations.
I saw a small moth flying around in my living room today - a moth is supposedly the spirit of a loved one visiting but well my grandma’s still alive, so it couldn’t be that. Just happened to cross my mind.
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The past 2 days have been a challenging time of emotional testing for me.
I have been trying to keep myself strong against feeling guilty and down over my inability to sufficiently financially contribute to my family’s problems which never seem to end. Everyday we have to worry about endless debts, mentally ill relatives and on top of it, differing religious beliefs do not contribute to the improvement of the situation and just lead to further division and unhappiness. Neither does the economic and social impact of the coronavirus help things.
I don’t really see attracting women like honey as a priority these days - I want to settle down with a specific person that I’ve had an interest in for quite a while, just that money problems are still getting in the way.
So while EmperorQ has kept me on the buoy for now, I am thinking that I should focus on stacking Mogul or EOG ST1 with EmperorQ since a lot of my problems are all due to the lack of money.
Or perhaps this is New Beginnings or some reconciliation working on me.
The sense of urgency, emergency and fear that had always been simmering on the surface and which had been tamed by the subliminals I had been running for the past 2 months seem to have resurfaced.
I can’t really concentrate on things and the problems seem to be growing more and more visible - and I feel so unable to convince myself that I am shaping my own reality. Especially since the coronavirus broke out - I find it hard to imagine the coronavirus out of my reality.
Will need to spend more time meditating.
New Beginnings must be very potent.
I am feeling very very depressed today while running EmperorQ - I will stop at 2 loops today.
Apologies if you as a reader do not like reading about my sob story.
I am mentally tired and do not have any more energy left to imagine myself out of my current reality.
Every day, I am confronted with the burden of solving financial issues for my family, and not for myself.
Medical bills are a nightmare here.
My home is now a mental asylum.
Money gets harder to make with this financial crisis.
Life has become a mental torture 24/7.
I can’t even afford a holiday now, and even if I could, there is no place to go and I feel guilty about not fulfilling my obligations.
I will now focus on wealth creation and stack EmperorQ with EOG soon.
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