[SOLO] Tarmicle's Journey with The Incredible Experimental EmperorQ


#41

Day 14
Loops: 5
Versions: Ultrasonic only

The Dreadmill, The Canvas and The Chilling


Career

  • Nothing much to report here. I had a great weekend, despite the quarantine for the coronavirus. I didn’t do anything work related, by choice. Today I decided I would focus on myself, my passions and my family. So I painted in the morning and I passed the whole afternoon with my wife, chilling, watching Netflix.

  • Today I realized that I’ve put my passion for art behind for too long. So I promised myself I’d cultivate it on almost a daily basis. I feel the need to reconnect with my true self.

  • I thought about my performance at work and I think that the attitude I’m developing during these days can be summarized by this speech of Will Smith:

Can you relate?


Personal Relationships

  • I truly enjoyed my day with my wife, today. i’m feeling more connected to what matters to me.

We’ll se what tomorrow brings.


#42

Day 15
Loops: 5
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Working out, Managing and Exams


Career

  • Today it has been a very productive day. I think I’m getting better managing my work. Not impressive improvements, but rather small improvements that adds up to my overall performance.

  • When I think about studying for university, taking exams and doing research, I feel good. Today the thought about pursuing a career in my university crossed my mind, and it inspired me! The thought of exams always got me anxious, now however I feel confident about my learning skills.


Personal Relationships

  • My hunger levels went down a bit.

  • I’m losing motivation in working out. It’s a little odd because I’m not losing interest in pushing me out of the confort zone. It’s just I think I have better things to do? And yet I do think that working out is important. Interesting.

  • Today I had some great releases and I felt happiness, warmth and a gentle sense of awareness.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#43

Day 16
Loops: 8
Versions: Ultrasonic only


Career

  • Very productive day at work. Today I committed myself to achieve my yearly goals in the first semester :slight_smile:

  • I feel like my boss at work is testing me. I’m torn between two curses of action: get along and being nice about it (“never outshine the master”) and stand for myself and just speak my mind.


Social

  • Today I had some health problems and I needed a prescription. However I had some complications because I’ve recently moved in another town and I don’t have a doctor for reference yet. Eventually I was able to get the prescription despite this, with the help of a friend who is a doctor. I feel more resourceful and direct with people: I get what I want.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#44

Day 17
Loops: 10
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Growth, Psychological Sates and Reconciliation


Personal Relationships/Career

  • In the last couple of days I felt happier, calmer. But sometimes I felt the opposite: power inside of me, pride and a huge drive. I realized there’s two fundamental psychological states in which I often find myself recently:
  1. What I call the Release State. In this state I feel present, aware. My actions carry more meaning. I feel positive and confident, relaxed. My thoughts flows in my mind and I realize that’s what I suppose to think, My actions feels natural and deliberate.
  2. What I like to call the Power State. When I’m in this state, I’m productive, eager to prove myself, confident, dominant, unforgiving.
  • Both of these states have a positive impact on what I’m currently doing. Yet, they’re radically different. Let’s take work for example. If I’m working on a project and I’m in the Power State, I’m incredibly productive and goal oriented–I can’t wait to see it through. If, however, I’m in the Release State, I’m more appreciative of the work, knowing it will turn out just right.

  • At the moment I’m not able to control these states. They just come and go. I’m not sure how EmperorQ is involved in this. I know that before listening to the sub, I never experienced these two states together, switching back and forth. Rather, I’d constantly be in a single psychological state—which has been by the way FEAR, most of the time.

  • Today at work, my boss pushed my buttons again. He lectured me like a teacher does to a 1st grade. Surprisingly, I felt detached emotionally and I was able to reframe the criticism into pure confidence. No one can hurt your feelings without your consent, as Epictetus said. Still, I don’t think this is the place I’d work forever. It’s hindering my growth, and this is simple unacceptable.


Social

  • I am disappointed by my colleagues’ lack of commitment. And yet, they seems to thrive. Me, on the other hand, I’m feeling alienated. We’re just too diffrent. Why do I have to fit in, if I don’t want to? I feel bad I can’t be like them, yet I don’t care. I guess I’m getting through serious reconciliation. Is almost like I have two different personalities. EmperorQ is doing the work and it is questioning my beliefs. I’m curious to see what will happens 15 days from now.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#45

Day 18
Loops: 10
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Marcus Aurelius, Being Liked By Others and a Point of No Return

Alright so today I reached a major point in my journey with EmperorQ. After a (brief) moment of reconciliation, I guess I’ve finally hit the point of no return. Let me explain briefly what happened and, most importantly what thoughts and feelings I had.


Career

  • Now I’m going to repeat myself. But in terms of making things going forward, I’m sorry but you can’t beat me. As Willie Smith said, you can be more talented. You can be more skilled. But I’m not afraid to die on the treadmill. If me and you we are going to play the same game, two things are gonna happen: I win or I die trying.

  • Understand: I’m not saying I like working for the sake of it, but working using your head. I’m not working MORE hours than before. I’m just working smarter. In the past, I would just work like a maniac. I’d focus on every detail, wasting a huge amount of time on stuff that’d make me going nowhere. But now, well I won’t lie to you: I’m getting more stuff done, with less perfectionism. And the quality? Good enough.

  • I’ve always loved shortcuts. If I found a way to cut my workload with some help (or by cheating), I’d take it. I’ve found that I’m doing this even more than before.

  • So as I said, I’ve never been so productive as these last days. Yet, my CEO and her stupid assistant are pushing me. There were days at the office I took care of my own shit, just because I had nothing to do. See this post:

Now, all of the sudden, they realized deadlines are around the corner and they want me to fix it. Oh, but I will. I used to become extremely anxious under pressure. Not now. Even when I don’t even know where to start, I somehow KNOW I will make it happen, I will find a way to make it done, while doing it. Before, I’d panic if I had no idea about how to fix something quickly. Today, I don’t even bother thinking about it. I just start, and I know I will make it happen. This is unbelievable guys. I don’t know what’s happening here, but I’m confident EmperorQ is doing some voodoo shit on me!

  • I became more assertive when discussing my work with my superior. If I think of something and I think I’m correct, I just say it. Understand: I’m not acting as a rebel, I still follow directions. Yet, I do speak my mind and I do so with no filters.

Social

  • Okay, now the fun part. At the beginning of this post I mentioned about hitting a point of no return. What I meant by that? If you’re reading this (being that a fellow member or even yourself Tarmicle), I encourage you to have a look at my older posts. Do you see a pattern? You can’t? I’m gonna tell you what that is. Look at the words, see what’s happening between the lines. Even though I speak about confidence, social dominance and all this stuff, I’m still speaking from a place of insecurity. It’s subtle but it’s there. I want respect. I want to be dominant. I want to be a social god. But, in the end, it’ just me trying to be liked by other people. I just realized this, today. And I decided I’d stop it altogether. And I did. Excluding the incredible sense of liberation I had (to be myself), I’ve found that there’s no harm by NOT trying to conform to the the social norm OR trying to behave just for the sake of being accepted. Today, for instance, I spoke my mind regarding an issue at work. Everybody agreed on something, but I did not. So, I literally said what I was thinking. No sugar coating, no reframing, just plain a simple, with a smile. Interestingly, I didn’t get conflict from the other side. They just got along with it. I’m not saying they agreed, but definitely they didn’t fight back. It’s still early to say, but it think that by freeing yourself from trying to fit in, you actually become more attractive and respected. I’m not sure about this but I’d definitely, DEFINITELY keep an eye on this and I’m eager to let you know how things will turn out, now that I made this decision.

  • I decided to invest in a course on charisma and social skills.


Personal Relationships

  • I noticed my movements are slower and deliberate, like tai-chi.

  • I become interested in stoicism and I started reading Marcus Aurelius, today.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#46

Day 19
Loops: 6-7
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Bills, Working Out and Predatory Thinking

I decided it was the time for me to add another category to this journal, one area of my life I’ve been pursuing for quite some time and deserves to be here, since lately I’ve seen a few improvements in that regard, as well. It’s going to be Fitness and Health :sunglasses:


Career

  • In the previous post I mentioned about a project at work with a tight deadline that my supervisor just dropped on my lap at the last moment:
  • Today, I delivered the work, ahead of schedule :slight_smile: In terms of productivity, EmperorQ is a monster. I don’t know what @SaintSovereign and @Fire did with the script in that area, but I’ve never seen anything like it. The beauty of it is that it makes you work smarter. The way I’d described it is a combination of strategy and focus, followed by a massive amount of action. I think this is the most powerful module in the whole subliminal.

  • My interest in strategy, power and social skills is growing stronger and stronger. I bought two more books:

  1. Predatory Thinking” by Dave Trott
  2. The Charisma Myth” by Olivia Fox Cabane

Have you read them?


Social

  • I didn’t have a lot of contacts lately due to the quarantine. I did however had a lot of contacts with people through phone calls, texting and messaging. I noticed I am not trying to actively socialize, but when I do, I feel the interaction natural and effortless. And, most importantly, I don’t care about sounding cool or please anybody.

  • When I worked as a consultant I worked from a small office in town to rent. Now another person is there and he was supposed to take care of all the stuff concerning his takeover. A couple of months ago, he failed to correctly do the takeover for the energy contract. I was a little mad because I hate people not paying attention, yet I helped him out making things right. Today, I received a letter which said I was supposed to pay some taxes for the office for this year. The guy failed a second time. This time I called him asking for an explanation. He said: “I did everything right, can you please pay them for me and I’ll give your money back, while I see what I can do about it.” My answer: “I’m not paying anything. I’m not going to take responsibility for your shortcomings. You’re going to fix it and you’re going to do it as quickly as possible.” And this to someone I met twice in my life. I couldn’t believe ME had just said that! I simply don’t care of being nice. And people seems to respect that.


Fitness and Health

  • I’m noticing my physique is improving. I feel stronger and active. I never put so much effort in working out, because I was taken by other things which I consider priorities. Yet, I am experiencing what a couple of fellow members here said, which is that I’m pushing through my workouts further, lately.

  • Sleep is deep. Very deep. Every night. Interestingly I don’t remember dream as much as I did with Khan.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#47

Day 20
Loops: 5
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Crazy dreams a The Barber Shop and Awareness


Personal Relationships

  • Today I’ve been really dominant with my wife, in a good way. She gave me the puppy eyes! Considering she has a really strong temper and I already had those kind of response from women at work but NOT from my wife, I’m considering this as a major achievement in dominance and masculinity :slight_smile:

Career

  • Even though today is rest day, I decided I’d work a little bit. Just to make sure I won’t find myself overwhelmed next week. EmperorQ is so strategic and efficient towards career goals!

  • Today I noticed I’m more able at setting priorities. Overall, I noticed I’m using my time wisely than before. Way better than before. I’m more aware of what I’m doing, what impact is that activity having on my goals and I’m constantly assessing my activities towards my objectives. Before I sort of have this behaviour, but I’d eventually drift into meaningless activity. I noticed now I’m more aware and focused. And this awareness is helping me working only on activities that have the most profound impact on my life/goals/objectives.

  • I started a journal about my work. My feelings, dreams, career goals and so on. I believe EmperorQ is giving me this sense of awareness. I never actually had the NEED to keep track of my progress towards anything really. Now I do, especially for my career. Interesting.


Fitness and Health

  • Last night I finally had a crazy dream! I dreamt about going to the barber shop and get myself a haircut like Uhtred from The Last Kingdom!

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#48

Day 21
Loops: 5
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Slow Talking, Being Aware and Speed Learning


Personal Relationships

  • I feel I’m getting used to EmperorQ. It feels natural and smooth. I start to think it’s becoming more and more ingrained into my subconscious.

  • I’m still affected by negative events. However, very less so. I am overall more calm and detached towards setbacks. I can’t help but think that I would figure out something along the way. This is still weird, even thought it isn’t the first time I experience such feelings, because I’ve always been anxious and worried about the unknown.

  • My general emotional state is neutral-positive. Non-judgmental, even.

  • My biggest shift I’m experiencing is in enhanced awareness. I’m more present. Attentive. I pay attention to details and I’m overall much less focused towards the future. This in turns lowers my anxiety considerably. Sometimes I feel like I’m a spectator. I had this feeling before, but now I fell more in control.


Career

  • I’m manifesting courses and books that are just “right” for my current goals and objectives.

  • I can’t be sure, but it seems that I’m learning faster. When I’m working on my skills, I see improvements faster than before.


Social

  • I’m more present when talking to people. My listening skills are improving and people seems to notice.

  • My voice is slower and my tone is deeper.

  • I noticed I’m not eager to answer as soon as possible, when talking to someone. I take my time to answer.


Fitness and Health

  • I used to be depleted at night, right after dinner. I noticed today I’m conserving energy better, even after a hard workout.

  • Great sleep. It’s been weeks that my sleep quality is just superb. In the morning I always feel rested.

  • When I was on Khan, my workout were intense and fierce. I’d push myself everyday, at the cost of consistency. Now, I’m doing the opposite. My efforts are gradual, yet consistent. I’d rather show up every day and go at 90% of my capacity, then give all I got and skipping one day.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#49

Day 22
Loops: 6-7
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Forgiveness, Clarity and Contribution


Career

  • I had virtual meeting with my CEO, today. She told me that she feels like I’m holding back. That my work is not characterized by the same creativity that convinced her to hire me. She encouraged me to revise the deliverables I gave to her and be free to express myself. Turns out she was right. Upon reading it, I realized my work was OK, but nothing special. It lacked tone, personality and I could tell I did not put myself 100% into it. This is weird. I wonder, why is that? Why this holding back? Is it fear I’m feeling? I was supposed to do the opposite. I mean, I thought I was doing it and I know I am not like that. And yet I did. Most importantly, what role EmperorQ is play in all this? I don’t know the answer to that, but something’s telling me, that I will find out soon.

  • Good productivity levels, although less “grind”. It has been overall a relaxed, focused and present work day.

  • I’ve got an exam tomorrow and I feel ZERO anxiety. I just know I’m gonna do just fine. EmperorQ being like: “See what I did there?” :sunglasses:


Social

  • Today I had a breakthrough. Truly a major change in my experience with EmperorQ. It’s been the very first time I felt compassion for myself. I had feelings of calmness, relaxation and peace, before. Today however, it was different. I was finally able to forgive myself. And by forgiving myself, I’ve been able to forgive others as well. Guys, believe me when I say that this is incredible. I was thinking about my dissatisfaction at work, how I felt alienated by my other colleagues. And, I literally heard in my head this words: “Because you’re not like me, I forgive you. And I set you free.” Resentment, criticism and guilt faded away. And I felt free of living. I felt like I am cured by a disease.

  • My thoughts changed from “Everyone always criticizes me and blames me” to “People are just trying the best they can”. An incredible paradigm shift. And I’m actually starting to believe that.


Fitness and Health

  • Today we’ve seen a light at the end of the tunnel, regarding coronavirus. It has been the first day in which casualties and infections went down a bit and did not rise. We’re in a turning point and we might be on our way to recovery, but it’s too early to say. For those who don’t know, I’m currently doing smart working, as the majority of population now. We’re living in a tight quarantine where I live. All production activities have been stopped. I will probably start stacking Aegis with EmperorQ.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings


#50

Day 23
Loops: 9
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Mindfulness, Spending Habits and Empathy


Career

  • I’m definitely more mindful about my spending habits. Today I’ve set up a monthly budget for my expenses and I downloaded an app to keep track of my finances.

  • I am aware of my ambition. Yet I don’t feel anxious about it. I almost feel like my hustling is settling down. Interestingly, though, I’m not working less as I usually do.


Fitness and Health

  • I noticed I’m more willing to do my daily workout. I’m not happy to do it, but rather I see it as something that has to be done, with no emotions attached.

  • My feelings are more neutral. My thoughts are less involved. I’m starting to see reality as something detached from my experience.


Social

  • I noticed I don’t criticize myself as often as I used to be. I still expect a lot from myself, but I also feel less guilty and I forgive my shortcomings more often. As a result I forgive other people more often. This in turn, makes blesses my day with a sense of satisfaction and peace. I feel… free.

Personal Relationships

  • I feel more present with my wife. I care more. Now that I think about it, it’s been a while since I got angry with her.

  • I feel more empathic. I can feel the emotions of other people who are close to me and I understand their agendas.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#51

It takes a lot to realize and admit such things. I am sure this is EQ’s work. I am proud of you man


#52

Thanks @friday! I appreciated it, my friend. :slight_smile:


#53

Day 24
Loops: 7
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Planning, Balance and Persuasion

Career

  • I started thinking deeply about my career goals. I decided it’d be a good idea to write down a career plan. I do know where I want to go, but something is telling me that if I plan for it, I’d be there a lot more quicker.

  • I noticed I’m more focused on problem solving rather than executing activities. While I’m still being fairly productive, I noticed I’m keeping special attention in identifying areas of improvements.

  • I’ve been really sluggish at work today. I felt really sleepy, but I managed to get everything done nonetheless. My usual need to close up all open task is still very strong.


Social

  • Okay, I noticed I’m in a struggle between warmth and dominance, socially speaking. This has been even more true in the last couple of days. Overall I feel I’m subconsciously looking to strike that balance, but I’m still adjusting. Today I MIGHT reached that balance between empathy and being able to speak my mind freely. It happened with my daily virtual meeting with my CEO, in which I THINK I was able to change her idea about an issue, without generating resistance. This is definitely something I’d pay special attention to.

  • Speaking of which, I’m not sure but I think I am more persuasive. It looks like I’m getting better results in getting people to accept my perspective, without getting too much resistance, at least not AS MUCH as before.


Fitness and Health

  • I started to listen to Aegis but I’m not stacking it with EmperorQ. I want this experience to be as pure as possible, so I’m listening to Aegis in specific time of the day, away from my daily EmperorQ listening. At the moment not much to report, but I’d definitely write down any changes on that regard.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#54

Day 25
Loops: 8
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Dreams of Gurus, Neighbors and Relaxed Hustle


Career

  • EXTREME Productivity! I expected to make half the work I did today. I was tired, my eyes were literally burning but I still kept going till my clock-out. I’m blown away by EmperorQ’s productivity module.

  • Last night I dreamed about being mentored by one of the major gurus in my field. Amazing!


Social

  • I realized I don’t give a shit about anybody except my family. I don’t need to impress anybody but at the same time I’m not being arrogant. I like this very much.

Personal Relationships

  • I feel so close with my wife. She’s been very supportive during these days. I feel the need to bond with people that matters. I feel responsabile for them and I want to keep them safe.

  • Something new: I also feel close to my neighbors. I have never gave a damn about my neighbors. But now, I feel connected to my closest social sphere. I want to connect with them and bond with them. I feel the need to create a gang. This is so weird! Does it make sense to you? Did you ever get that feeling?

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#55

Day 26
Loops: 5
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Dreams come true, Habits and Tensions


Career

  • Something incredible happened today. A couple of nights ago I dreamed about a famous expert in my field, in my country. I dreamed about us hanging together, him revealing his career secrets to me. Well, yesterday he made a Facebook post on his official page in which he asked if he could answer any question and give some specific advice. I commented saying something like this: “I don’t have any specific question, I’d love to sit with you, just for 20 minutes and ask about your life, your career, what you did to arrive where you at now”. Guys, he PERSONALLY reached out to me and set a 1-on-1 30 minute call, for free! We’re talking about one of the greatest experts in my area of expertise (he went on TV, teaches at the best universities, etc.) in my country. Between all the request, he saw my comment, reached out to me personally and he made me pick up a date and time for our meeting, in which I will be able to ask him anything I want. I’m so happy! This is the mount Everest of manifestations!

Social

  • Unfortunately, I don’t have much to report regarding this, since I’m not having contact with anybody except my wife, my colleagues and my boss and my family (these last three all remotely).

  • I didn’t notice substantial differences in my behaviour/thoughts regarding social interactions. As I previously stated in another entry, I think this is because my behaviours are becoming a habit.


Fitness and Health

  • It’s been a couple of days that I feel really sleepy although my sleep hours have sensibly increased.

  • I feel a slight pain in my jaw and as well across my forehead.

  • Today I felt a slight tension in my whole body.

  • I noticed my posture is always upright, even when I sit. I think it has become a permanent habit and I don’t even think about it anymore. That’s great!

  • My hunger levels are stationary now, I don’t get those spikes I used to have 2-3 weeks ago.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#56

That’s amazing. Very happy for you!


#57

It is, @SaintSovereign, thank you! And a big part of this is because of you, @Fire and this awesome community! :slight_smile:


#58

Day 27
Loops: 4
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Overall, what I’d call a chill day. Very enjoyable.


Social

  • Today I had to go out to buy some groceries since we were out. A cashier mistakenly charged me more (just a couple of euros) than he had to. When I mDW him realize that he was really embarrassed. He profusely excused himself several times, like he did an unforgivable mistake. Am I projecting an aura of intimidation?

Personal Relationships

  • I’m having a good time with my wife. For us the weekend has become a time to relax, recharge and reconnect. I used to carry my work problems through my weekend, now I noticed I enjoy my days off better. I live in the moment, yet I keep a firm eye on the future.

Fitness and Health

  • Had a great workout today. Something worth to note: I actually enjoyed the pain and fatigue.

Career

  • I feel like whatever I’m doing, I’m going to be successful. I’m not concerned about the hows anymore, as long as I am focused towards the end results. I am more relaxed and I find I’m enjoying the journey towards my goals ever than before.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings


#59

Day 28
Loops: 8
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Love, Sex, Med Men


Personal Relationships

  • I had one of the best sex in my life with my wife today! Whole, passionate, raw. It was intense! I always judged my sexual life, maybe because of insecurities. Today, I just enjoyed the moment and I had a great time.

  • I enjoy my time with my family better without guilt that I should be doing something else.

  • I noticed my relationship with my wife is a tad more romantic and deep.

  • I feel more loved. Even by my dog (I know this is so weird!)?


Fitness and Health

  • Interesting thoughts during my workout, one of them I think it’s worth sharing: “You might be tired and not be able to do all the exercises in this workout. But it’s OK. You’ll still gonna have the physique you’re after. I assure you.” That thought was constant during my whole workout and helped me push a little further.

Career

  • I just realized I want to be good at advertising!

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#60

Day 29-30
Loops: 0 & 6
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Withdrawal, Shakes and Success


Fitness and Health

  • I decided I’d have a day OFF (29) and see what happened. Some users experienced good results. The day off did good to them. Interestingly, I didn’t noticed any benefit–quite the contrary. I experienced a slight pain in the gut, overall unjustified anxiety, shaking and tension. I think I experienced something like you you would experience during a withdrawal of some kind of addiction. Tonight, after a few loops, I feel good.

Career

  • I had my phone call with that expert I was talking about. Interestingly, I had only confirms. Deep inside of me I already knew the things he was talking about. This is a good thing! I think subconsciously I knew what it takes to be successful. I know this is EmperorQ!

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.